A beautiful young couple only years apart in age fell in love a long time ago when they were just teenagers. The couple was a male couple who had to hide a lot of things, including feelings, affection, attraction, and most of all who their partner really was to the rest of the world. Taemin was younger than his partner Onew, who had never been in a serious relationship before, and expected a lot from his partner because Taemin gave a lot for Onew.

Sometimes Onew didn’t understand or know what to say when Taemin would get aggravated by work, family, or even him but he tried the best he could. Over the years Taemin has had patience but wanted nothing more than his boyfriend to truly understand how he was, how he is. Taemin was the type of person that would get really hyper, sometimes over exaggerate because he thought it was funny, and would get mild road rage for the idiot that cut him off and didn’t even care to use a turn signal. Strangely, Taemin thought, that even after so many years of knowing each other and being together Onew still didn’t understand that when he was complaining about work or getting road rage in the car that Taemin wasn’t affected by it in any major way but just had a very exuberant way of expressing himself.

Taemin and Onew had been dating for a whole 3 years now and this last year have been bickering, arguing, and fighting quite frequently. Neither of them liked to be upset or to upset the other but one way or another, things turned out that way.

I don’t feel well. My head is filled with confusion. My heart is filled with hate. I’m frustrated and no one understands me.

“Taemin, are you okay? I don’t understand why you’re so angry at me. What did I do?”

Exhaling roughly and breathing hard, Taemin’s breathing intensified, “Listen, Onew, you didn’t do anything you just don’t understand.”

With a crack in the elders voice Taemin could hear the tears welling up at his eyes, “Then what do you want me to do?”

“You don’t have to do anything.” releasing a gust of breath, sighing in slight annoyance, “I will work things out like I always do.”

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Onew loves Taemin more than the world. More than the air he breathes. Onew would do anything for his “baby” and works hard to be the man of Taemin’s dreams. Onew called Taemin every day after to work since they didn’t see much of each other living in separate homes. On this particular day, on this particular call, they happened to get in a fight. No reason really, just Onew being silly, and Taemin felt as if Onew didn’t take him seriously. Of course all couples get into arguments and most work it through just like Onew and Taemin. This argument didn’t last very long but the anger Taemin had didn’t reside and he hid it away, down, deep inside. Of course because he hid it and didn’t confront his anger with Onew the anger built up. Taemin was facing a lot of decisions in his life that were very frustrating and stressful more than Taemin’s average dose of stress. Piled on top of all that stress was this anger that he had built up for some time. Taemin wasn’t able to relieve all his pain; there was always someone around so he couldn’t cry, he couldn’t throw a temper tantrum, he couldn’t scream at the top of his lungs that he hated everything right now. He felt like he was trapped in the middle of a tar pit being down by struggling to get out of the mess.

 “Hey baby, how are you doing?” a soft honey voice asked.

“I’m good honey. What about you?”

“I’m better now that I’m with my baby.”

Taemin’s eyes turned into little crescent moons as his cheeks pushed into his eyes as he smiled from Onew’s ‘smooth lines’. The couple continues to talk about this and that and these things and those things. The couple snuggles against each other beginning to flirt and kiss on each other. Onew starts tickling Taemin from his sides down to his toes to where Taemin’s laughing so hard he’s almost unable to breathe. Onew thinks it looks cute, and he’s right it does, but Taemin can’t breathe and he wants Onew to stop but Onew continues to play.

“Onew…” his abs tensing from the tickling, his hands trying to push Onew away as Onew plays, “come on man, I can’t breathe anymore.”

“Oh come on, you’re so cute when you giggle like a little kid.”

Taemin grabs Onew’s hands, pushes his feet against Onew’s forearms and pushes him away, “God damn it Onew, I can’t breathe can you stop tickling me now. I asked you to stop like 50 times.”

The couple gets into a heated discussion about how serious the situation was. Onew asks why Taemin’s been acting this way and pleads for Taemin to stop yelling and quietly sobs, “Baby, please I don’t want you to be mad with me. I just wanted to play around with you.”

Taemin apologizes vaguely, “Onew, baby, I’m sorry I lost my temper.”

With his head turned away from his beloved boyfriend he sniffles, “Okay… Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay. Don’t worry. I will work things out like I always do.”

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“I will work things out like I always do.” This was Taemin’s phrase. Every time and any time there was something that he could tell Onew didn’t know how to address or handle we would reassure Onew with this statement. “I will work things out like I always do.”

Taemin had been focusing on his work, on his cleaning, on his partner’s desires, wants, and needs but never spent a good amount of time focusing on his pain. It never seemed like a big deal or something to be blown out of proportion but in reality it was something so massive that if you had some type of special Super Man vision you could see it from hundreds of thousands of miles away, even from space. If the sadness, the frustration, the confusion, the anger, and the pain were a physical being or in a tangible state could be seen dripping off of Taemin like thick black sweat. It was a toxic feeling that grew in the silence. Taemin didn’t like to talk about his feelings because he didn’t want to burden people and he didn’t want to worry Onew. No matter who you are or how you’re feeling you should always share what you’re going through with someone that you trust. Taemin trusted Onew, but he couldn’t get himself to follow through.

Several months went by with more fights included and like every other time, “I will work things out like I always do.” It’s really not uncommon to feel down, under the weather, angry, or mad but these feelings shouldn’t be allowed to drag you down and away from the happy rays of sunshine we call family, friends, and life. Onew knew Taemin had a strong mind and a strong heart and believe Taemin had what it took to muster through any situation. Onew knew Taemin was the love of his life and that he was the love of his. Onew knew that Taemin would do anything to make him happy and he could make himself happy too, he’s done it before, just like he said, “I will work things out like I always do.” So Onew believed and knew that’s just what he’d do.

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Another month came and went Onew felt the tension settle down and Taemin’s anger seemed to subside. They hadn’t gotten into a screaming match, an argument, or even a little tiff for weeks. Taemin was working hard and keeping busy but always had time to see his baby. Onew felt loved and saw something different. Taemin spoke softer and his voice never sounded enraged. Taemin of course was keeping silent; keeping his emotions locked away but was able to handle his outer person more appropriately. Onew never knew, never guessed a thing. It wasn’t too bad because that means they never fought. Nevertheless, that thick black sweat still dripped from Taemin seeping through his pores harder than before. All the frustration waiting to burst from his body as he kept his mouth shut.

The couple was in love you could see it in their eyes. The couple was moving forward, not letting any obstacle get in there way. At least that’s what Onew saw and believed to be true. Taemin showed much devotion to their dream of being together forever in their own house being able to be free just like everyone else. They wouldn’t have to hide from anyone anymore as long as they were together. Taemin’s work was getting better which meant more opportunity to move in together. Moving in together meant being able to cope with the daily annoyances. Being together for this long and being able to live a new life meant all that hiding, lying, and all those secrets could be overturned because they had each other and they had a safe place to call their home. These things are all great and Taemin did want them, does, want them but to Taemin these things weren’t always enough. There were always going to be setbacks. There were always going to be people who interfere with their personal lives, even if they tried to keep them out. Taemin knew he could get through all this pain one way or another because he always knew how.

Onew went over to Taemin’s, using his key to get inside, he wanted to surprise him with a big bouquet of flowers and a glass bottle of 100% organic banana milk, one of Taemin’s favorites when he sees a cute little letter on the table. And so it read, “Onew, my beautiful boyfriend, I’m so in love with you and I hope that you know that. I never meant to hurt you and I’m so sorry. I hope that you’ll be able to forgive me. I had to fight hard to keep myself sane. I’m sorry to leave so suddenly and I know that you’ll hate me. But be happy because just like I always say, “I will work things out like I always do.” I worked things out, I’ll no longer be sad or mad, I’ll be happy and I’ll always have time to watch over you.”

A shattering burst, shards of glass explode on the floor, Onew screams for his partner but no reply can be heard. Onew rushes through the apartment searching every room when finally he finds Taemin. His body so beautiful, so peaceful, so still, Onew approached him and then he knew it was real. Heartache, a tightening pain in the chest, his eyes welling up and the tears pouring down, Onew sobbed into his beautiful boyfriend. The sadness, the frustration, the confusion, the anger, and the pain, that thick black sweat seeped no longer and the excess seemed to evaporate away. As it left his body there stood Taemin, a spirit, looking upon his lover and his body I feel no pain and I feel no hate. I will never stop loving you, Onew he spoke although his lover couldn’t hear him I will look over you. I will make sure you get through this sadness and pain. I promise you Onew, I will work things out like I always do.