Sorry in advance

 

I was only here in the apartment while waiting for Miyoung to come back.
She’s taking much time, I say. It’s been hours when she left and still, she’s not here.

What if I just go there?
She wouldn’t mind right?

 

 

I grabbed my sweater hanging in the rack inside the room.

I might as well bring Miyoung’s. The weather is too cold today, she might get cold.

 

 

 

 

I was about to go out when my phone beeped inside my pocket, indicating there’s a message. Taking it out with my other free hand, I saw the message came from Miyoung. I chuckled reading the name written in the screen, Miyoung saved it like this you know.

I wonder what my name on hers is.

 

 

 

From: Wifey<3

Sooyeon^^ SoShiGen Café… now :)

 

 

 

 

I didn’t bother to reply since I’m already on my way to the café.

I thought Amber and her family are out of town?

Maybe this is part of Miyoung’s surprise.

 

 

 

It’s our 2nd monthsary… and I will tell her everything.

Everything about me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am now in front of the café, the sliding door is open so I chose to go in. As I am adjusting my vision on the dim light used inside, I saw a human figure standing at the center. It’s Miyoung, isn’t it?

Aish… why do I even have to wear these glasses? It’s blurring my sight.

That figure slowly made its way on me. As the lights finally reflect on that figure, I saw it’s none other than Miyoung. It’s my girlfriend standing across, leaving space between the two of us. Despite the dim light installed in the café, I noticed her eyes are swollen or it is not?

 

I should get rid of these glasses!

 

 

I was about to tug off my glasses when she stopped me, holding my arm, preventing my action.
 

“Don’t” Miyoung only said in a flat tone as she pulled my arms down. “Is there something wrong?” I bravely asked her. I sense something is going on; Miyoung is acting weird right at this moment. She only looked at me showing off expression.

 

“W-what’s wrong Miyoung~ie?” I asked repeating my question earlier. After sometime, she pulled me in a table nearby. Silence is all over the place. All I can hear is Miyoung’s deep breaths and my chest beating loud and fast.

Why do I feel something isn’t right?

 

It’s worse than the moment I heard about my sudden marriage. It’s something I can’t actually define what is. And my instinct never fails me.

Miyoung~ie… what’s wrong?

 

 

 

 

 

We’re just sitting right there. None has the courage to talk.
And that’s when I remember the thing I must tell her…

 

 

the truth

 

 

 

 

“I have something to tell you Miyoung~ie…” I started, breaking the deafening silence between us. It’s actually weird… Miyoung is the one who always talk between the two of us and now… it seems so different.

 

“I have to tell you something too.” She said as she flashed her smile at me.
 

I think I’m just being too paranoid.

 

I smiled back at her. At least, it’s not what I think. There’s nothing to worry I presume.

 

 

 

 

“You first” I said as I gestured her to talk first.
 

“You sure?” she asked me still showing her eye smiles. I only nodded twice at her. She took a deep breath before she continued.

 

 

 

“Sooyeon~ah… do you know it’s our 2nd month of being together today?” she laughed a little while saying that.

 

Of course I do… errrr- Hyo told me actually.

And of course, I won’t tell her that.

 

 

 

 

 

“Yes, I know” I saw her nodded as she averted her eyes on the table. And then she continued, “Don’t you think we’re getting too long for now… I mean- it’s tiring Sooyeon.” She then looked at me straight in the eyes. There’s nothing written on her face, blankness is present.
 

Getting too long?
Tiring?

What do you mean Miyoung?

Are you…?

 

 

 

 

She chuckled as she didn’t get any response from me.

“Aren’t you getting tired Sooyeon?” She only grinned at me.
 

“M-miyoung~ie… I-I don’t k-know what you’re s-saying. I-i…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m getting tired of this Sooyeon.” Miyoung said as she puffed air from , looking outside the glass window. “It was really fun at first but I don’t feel it as exciting as before.” She continued as she taps her fingers on the table simultaneously. Her other hand supporting her chin, her eyes still glued outside.

I don’t get every single words coming from .
Seems like I can’t understand every detail she says, maybe this is what I get for not studying hard anymore. My brain is already malfunctioning.

 

I just don’t get it.

 

 

 

 

We just keep on sitting here… I stayed for minutes doing nothing except from keeping my head down. My eyes glued at the sweater I am holding that is placed on my lap. As time flies, I am not aware my hands are turning into fists. As if the sweater is the only one I have to turn what I feel inside.

 

 

 

 

“You know what, I love doing random things. It is always exciting for me… that’s why I always do what I think. I always try what I haven’t done before. You know the saying YOLO? *chuckles* You only live once… so try the most out of it.” It’s Miyoung who continued saying her thoughts. I don’t know what she’s doing right now since I can’t lift my eyes to her. Afraid…

 

I am afraid…

I am scared…

 

 

Scared of what she’s about to say to me

 

 

 

“But I always end up getting tired of something I actually do… so I always find something new to try. That’s fun Sooyeon, you think so too right?”

 

Your words Miyoung…

Every word from you is painfully piercing my heart

 

I thought I’m used to this…

This is what I always feel when my father talks to me… but why does it seem that it is much worse than that?

 

 

 

 

Gaining no response from me… Miyoung suddenly slammed her right hand on the table between us. Making enough sound for me to look at her… in awe.

 

“Oh~ did I shock you? Geez… it’s your fault anyway, you’re not talking to me.” she said as she chuckled in between her sentences.

 

As I looked at her, easiness is all I can see. There’s no hint of anything.

She didn’t talk after that, just looking straight at me like I was a specimen she has to look intently for her experiment.

 

Silence is slowly killing me…

 

 

 

 

 

“M-miyoung~ie… can we… ca-can we go h-home?”

 

Please… let’s go home.

I don’t want this.

I don’t want any of this.

 

Maybe if we’re already home, things will be back as they were before.
She won’t say anything about this. We’ll just cuddle all day, like nothing happened.

 

This… T-this isn’t true

 

 

 

 

“But we’re not done talking Sooyeon.” She said
 

“I want to g-go home… let’s go h-home M-miyoung~ie… please.”

 

 

 

 

 

Miyoung looked at me as she let out a smirk formed in .

“Okay… you may go but I’m not going anywhere with you.”

No Miyoung…

 

N-no…

Why are you doing this?

 

 

 

 

 

“Miyoung please…”

 

“Sooyeon… don’t you still get it?” she asked me, her voice louder than before.

I don’t get it.

I really don’t.

 

 

“Please Miyoung… j-just this o-once. L-let’s go hom-”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Let’s break up.” She only said cutting my words.

That’s it…

There she finally said it.

 

I was dumb for a while… seems like those last words didn’t bother to sink inside my head. I averted my eyes from her, as I look down, I saw my hands trembling. And there I felt my chest beating faster than before.

A tear escaped from my eye.
I think I can’t hold it anymore…

 

But no… this is not what I am supposed to do.

I shouldn’t cry… she might think of me as a weak person.

 

I wiped my tear as fast as I could, but who am I kidding… Miyoung already saw it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m breaking up with you Sooyeon.” she said as I heard her sighed and there she continued, “2 months of being with you is long enough. I can’t even think I went that long.” That’s when I looked at her, she’s just right in front of me looking like what she’s saying is nothing. Like it’s not destroying me.

 

I only looked at her as I felt my eyes verging for tears.

No… 2 months is only a short time

With those months… we were happy Miyoung.
It’s perfect… we were perfect.

So why now?

 

 

 

 

“So I guess this is the end Sooyeon. It’s getting chilly, you should go home. I’ll be going too. I will just get my personal things from your apartment when I had the time.” I saw Miyoung stood up as she bent her arms on the table for her support. Ready to leave me.

I was nailed at my seat as I only watched Miyoung walking away from me.

 

 

 

 

What happening now is still vague to me but I found myself running after her. She’s already outside when I stopped her as I grabbed her in her arm, pulling her back. And there, I hugged her… tight. If this is what all I can do to stop her from walking away from me… then let it be.

I felt her body stiffened from the body contact

 

 

 

“Sooyeon… l-let go.”
 

I won’t

Never Miyoung

 

 

My tears fell one by one as I buried my face in her right shoulder. Still hugging her as I s my arms through her waist… tighter.

 

 

 

 

 

“Miyoung… w-why?” I managed to ask still burying my face to her.

 

“What else do I have to say to you Sooyeon uhh?” she asked as she pushed me away from her. Her hands on my shoulders shoving me away… away from her.

I only looked at the ground, as my tears flowing continuously.

 

 

“I l-love y-you a-and you said y-you.. you l-love me-”

 

“Yeah… I thought I do”

 

 

 

 

 

 

I once again tried to approach her but then again… she pushed me one more time.

“M-miyoung please. Let’s talk about this. We can still make-”

 

She cut me off as she walked near to me. She then cupped my face as she started to wipe away the tears my eyes are letting out using her thumb. And she started to talk again… “Ssssshhhh… remember when I told you the logic of love?” I nodded as she still wipes the tears away. But I guess, it won’t stop. “there is always much deeper right? I guess… yours is much deeper and mine… I’m just the o-opposite.” She smiled after her last sentence. Again, she stepped back, leaving a meter space between the two of us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Thanks for everything Sooyeon…” And there… she turned her back at me, leaving me behind.

 

 

 

“M-miyoung!” I called her but she