A body lay delicately on the mattress; wrapped amongst the comforters. Her body seemed lost in the mix of fabrics that would have confused her husband had her hair not been poking out. With a sad smile that caressed his lips, he walked towards his wife opting not to wake her immediately but let her rest peacefully. It seemed that only in her sleep did she seem tranquil. Once she’d wake up, the world wouldn’t be what she imagined, nor would it be anything that was welcoming to her. In her sleep at least she could dream about what she desired mostly in this world…in this marriage…

    …a child.

    Chanyeol, too, wanted a child, but he didn’t want his wife to continue going through the inner grief she subjected herself to because she couldn’t get pregnant. He could live on through this marriage without a child—she, on the other hand, could not.

    Sighing inwardly, Chanyeol moved the covers away from his wife’s body, exposing her bare shoulder thanks to her wild sleeping. The oversized shirt she was wearing—his, to be exact—drowned her petite frame. His heart fluttered a bit just gazing down at her sleeping body. She was remarkably beautiful…he just wished she’d see the same thing he did.

    “Babe…” He whispered lightly as he leaned closer to her, his breath tickling her earlobe. “…you have to wake up. I have breakfast waiting for you downstairs…” The faint touch of his hand on her shoulder stirred her in her slumber. His wife turned her head, only to bury her face deeply into the pillow. Chanyeol tried again, this time a bit louder.

    “Soon Bok…” His eyebrows furrowed slightly. “…wake up,”

    “Yeollie,” Her voice broke through the room. Though it wasn’t at all high in volume, Chanyeol heard his nickname loud and clear—a nickname that only she, his wife, called him. “I don’t want to go.”

    Looking down at her, he could see that her body tensed, no longer peaceful, no longer at rest as it had been only moments before. Instead, she was gripping tightly onto the pillow, her eyes wide with dread. He could understand her behavior, the reason behind it.

    Yet again, as husband and wife, the two had to endure another doctor appointment later in the day. Though Soon Bok didn’t really see the point in going to another doctor only to hear the same results of the tests that previous doctors gave to them, Chanyeol thought there to be a glimmer of hope. He was doing this for her. He wanted his wife to be happy. He wanted to hear something—anything—from doctors that would allow his wife to feel as though she wasn’t inadequate when it came to her reproductive organs.

    He hated that she compared herself to other women—women who were able to conceive and give birth. He hated that she compared herself to the mothers whom she encountered on a daily basis. It wasn’t her fault, none of this was. There were just a few things that some people were able to do and others were not. It might not have been fair—for such a caring, compassionate woman such as herself—to be unable to have children. She deserved children…and Chanyeol would go through any lengths and sacrifice any amount of money to hear something, anything, of the likes that his wife would be able to conceive.

    “…I know,” He looked down. It was written on his face. He, too, was tired of the disappointing news each and every time, but he endured it because he felt that someday the two of them would get good news…news that would change their lives forever. “…but we can’t cancel the appointment. They are expecting us later. We should just hear them out…at least to hear what they have to say. We’re making progress. We can’t stop now. We just can’t…”

    “We can’t what, Chanyeol?” Suddenly snapping her head up, Soon Bok looked at her husband. “…we can’t miss an appointment that we already know the news of?”

    “…that’s not what I meant and you know it. I’m just saying…maybe there is hope. With each doctor we go to we’re bound to get one step closer. I just know it.” Chanyeol tried to be optimistic for his lovely wife. It was difficult for him to do so when they both knew what was going on—when they both knew their situation. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t have hope. “Please. Let’s just get through today and then we don’t have to think about it for a while.”

    Soon Bok looked back down at the pillow before deciding it was best to oblige to her husband. He was being so supportive in her current situation—she couldn’t let his efforts go to waste. Sighing, she pushed the remainder of the covers off of her body and sat up in bed. Almost immediately, she felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around her shoulders pulling her closer to a lean, muscular frame. She abruptly closed her eyes and held her breath. His touch was comforting, yes, but the feeling she was getting in the pit of her stomach seemed quite uneasy. It wasn’t behaving as it should; turning in knots. She almost felt as though she had to throw up, the sensation suddenly washing over her but she ignored it. She’d prolonged the inevitable long enough.

    “You said breakfast downstairs, right?” She asked; her voice a little more upbeat from what it’d been only seconds earlier.

    With an eager nod, Chanyeol smiled and lightly peppered a kiss against her neck. “Uhm hmm, I did. I hope you like what I made.”

    “If you cooked for me, of course I’d love it.”

__

    The ride to the doctor’s was something that worried Chanyeol. All day he’d attempted to occupy his wife’s thoughts with things other than that of the appointment, but he knew that it would be short lived. Two in the afternoon arrived quicker than he’d expected, and the closer the time came to their departure, the quieter his wife became—the more she felt unwell—the more she became sick to her stomach. Literally.

    He would have cancelled the appointment due to her constant throwing up, yet she urged him to not do so. She was fine; at least that’s what she told him. Last minute jitters. That had to be it. She’d heard nothing but disappointing news for the last couple of years and now they were about to endure another potential let down.

    Chanyeol was definitely apprehensive. He had every right to be, yet he wouldn’t allow his wife to realize this. If she knew how he genuinely felt on the inside it would deter her from wanting to attend the appointment—especially if she already had anxiety surrounding it. Now that the two were on the way to the actual appointment, both of them had butterflies. Not only was Soon Bok questioning the potential results they would receive, but Chanyeol was, too.

    What will the results be?

    Will we finally have good news?

   Did I make a mistake booking this appointment?

    Chanyeol let out a shaky breath as the two of them pulled into the parking lot. Turning off the engine, Chanyeol’s hand went from the wheel to his wife’s hand. Grasping it gently, he gave it a squeeze and smiled reassuringly to her. Her deep brown eyes looked back at him, glistening not from the sunlight but from the tears that were threatening to fall. Shaking his head, Chanyeol reached over and brushed them away with his index finger. No words were exchanged between the two of them. There was none needed.

    Soon Bok knew that Chanyeol would always be there for her…

    Chanyeol knew that nothing said would ease her through this situation…

    Just his presence was enough for her.

    As though a silent message was exchanged between the married couple, Chanyeol released her hand and opened the driver side door, briskly running to the passenger side to allow his wife an escape from the enclosed car space. Taking her hand, and brought it to his lips and kissed it. His eyes read ‘I love you’ as the two walked into the building, being greeted by the receptionist, Chanyeol released his wife’s hand and double-checked the time of the appointment. Taking his place back beside his wife and placing his hand on the lower of her back, he ushered her to the waiting area.

    As though coming to the doctor wasn’t painful enough for the couple to endure together, sitting in the waiting area surrounded by children playing with the various toys positioned around the place made it worse. Chanyeol could see in his wife’s eyes the longing, the desire to have a child of her own which she could bring to the doctor for constant checkups. Though many parents looked fed up with the wait they were enduring for their children to receive a clean bill of health, Soon Bok would have loved coming here often. She would have been patient. She would have understood.

    But most of all, she would have been grateful.

    Grateful for the opportunity to bring a child that’d come out of her womb to be seen by a doctor.

    Grateful for the chance to gaze upon her child interacting with the other children in the waiting area.

    Chanyeol felt his wife’s hand tightening around his own, clasping it so tight that it began to throb. He knew what she was thinking—he could see it in her eyes—yet he said nothing. What could he say to console his wife? What could he say to cheer her up in this darkened moment? He could only sit there in silence, waiting for their name to be called over the intercom if an elderly woman wouldn’t have appeared next to them. Her breathing was slightly raspy; her body looking frail, yet a smile was etched onto her face.

    Taking a napkin from the brightly colored clutch sitting in her lap, she brought it to her lips and coughed into it. The cough proceeded for a little bit of time before she leaned over to Chanyeol, her face apologetic, yet the smile never left her pale lips.

    “I do apologize, young man, for disrupting you and your loved ones’ silence.” She wiped the corners of with the napkin and sighed softly.

    “Oh, no ma’am—you aren’t disrupting or disturbing us. My wife and I are just watching the children, is all, patiently waiting to be seen.” Chanyeol looked over at his wife, who had yet to be stirred from whatever her mind was on, her eyes still locked upon the children playing with the others. The sight beside him hurt him slightly. If only he could do something that would help her through this wait—but he couldn’t find the right words.

    “Oh. You’re here with your child? Which one is it? Perhaps it is the gorgeous little cutie in the lime green dress. Or maybe it is the handsome young fellow with the flannel and jeans? Maybe even both…? Are they here for a checkup, too?”

    “N-no…it isn’t—“

    “I’m here with my grandson—he’s so handsome. I feel bad that I brought him here. See, he’s the one over there standing alone by the window. I’m afraid I’ve caught the flu and I fear that he’ll get sick, too. He’s a little…weak. Hopefully having him get a shot, as well as me getting a checkup, will help in that matter.” She leaned back in her seat and rocked slowly. “Young man, it’s important to bring your children here often. The world is full of sickness, viruses, flus, and much of the like—it’s great that you’re here with your wife to do so.”

    Chanyeol couldn’t quite bring himself to let the woman know of the dilemma he and his wife were going through—yet he was thankful that his wife was so into her thoughts that she heard nothing the woman said. It tugged at his heart that his wife wasn’t the mother of the cute little girl in the lime green dress, or the handsome little boy in the flannel and jeans. If only…

    “Park Chanyeol, Park Soon Bok…”

    Their names interrupted his thoughts as did his wife’s. Chanyeol didn’t mean to be so eager to escape from the presence of the elderly woman—he was terrified that she’d end up repeating anything that she said to him previously. His wife couldn’t hear any of that right before the meeting with the doctor. Quickly grabbing his wife’s hand, Chanyeol rushed out of the waiting room. He followed the receptionist that led the two of them to where they’d meet the doctor. Once they arrived, she bid them farewell before closing the door behind her, leaving he and his wife alone.

    “Soon Bok…” He whispered, not wanting the two of them to be silent much longer. “How are you feeling?”

    Blankly staring up at her husband, Soon Bok suddenly wrapped her arms around his waist, her face buried into his chest. “Anxious…scared…but I’m sure you know this alrea—” …was all she had time to say before the door opened, revealing a man with large eyes and dark hair. He didn’t match up to Chanyeol’s height, yet Chanyeol could tell that he had the type of presence that gained everyone’s attention once he stepped into the room.

    The man’s eyes lingered on the couple occupying the small space before looking down at the clipboard in his hands. When he found the information he’d been searching for, he suddenly smiled, his lips pulled back exposing a pair of pristine, white teeth.

    “Park Chanyeol and Park Soon Bok, correct? My files indicate that the two of you are new patients of mine. I’m sorry to say this, but I come across so many patients I have to refer to names and can rarely remember any of the patients that frequent my observation room.” He glanced at Soon Bok who released her tight grip around her husbands’ waist, yet was avoiding eye contact. “My name is Do Kyungsoo and, as you can plainly see, I am your doctor for the day. I am…aware of a problem that the two of you face…?”

    “Yes,” Chanyeol spoke up, knowing that his wife would be unable to. “The two of us are…aware that we have been unable to conceive. We were told various things by various specialists. Many have said that it is possible that the two of us will be unable to have a child…together. We have done all that we can thus far to change said results, yet nothing has occurred. I don’t want to give up. I refuse to give up. I think we deserve to be able to…have a child together…to create something as a symbol of the love that we, as husband and wife, share together. Is there anything at all that you can help us with?”

    “...a problem as far as reproducing? And you say you have done everything?”

    “Yes…that is exactly what I am saying, Kyungsoo-sshi,” Chanyeol felt his wife’s grip on his waist tightening. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. The action brought tears to his eyes, yet he didn’t want them to fall. He had to be strong; if not for himself, but for the woman by his side. “…we have done everything, but we’re willing to continue anything needed to be able to have a child.”

    “I see,” Kyungsoo brought the clipboard towards his chest before rubbing his chin. “You’ve tried in vitro?”

    The couple nodded slowly, both silent.

    “What about varying medications that could jumpstart fertility between the two of you?”

    “Look, Kyungsoo-sshi, I am not trying to be rude, but for the sake of my wife’s feelings, could you please look at the documents on file? I’m sure every method and procedure we took on is in those documents. We don’t need to go through a check-list. We just want to know what else we can do.” Chanyeol looked down with his wife, eyes furrowed with concern and laced with worry.

    “Well, I noticed that the two of you,” Kyungsoo flipped through the pages in search of the information that he was searching for. “…did not even consider a surrogate. Could that be something that you two could reconsider? You two do want children, right?”

    “Does it look like we want to have someone else produce a child for us, doctor?” Soon Bok looked at Kyungsoo, her eyes narrowed, though her voice didn’t hint at any anger. She’d always been like that—soft-spoken. “Why would I want another woman to carry a child that I should be carrying? I will not allow another individual to be involved with my marriage. There should be something else we could do…? Please. Anything else but that.”

    “Well…there is something else. Aside from a surrogate, the two of you could partake in gestational carriers.”

    “…and that is?”

    “Well, instead of the egg of another woman being present in carrying a child, your wife would be using her own eggs which would be fertilized by you, her husband. After such a procedure is done, the embryo would, then, be placed into the carrier’s uterus. So, instead of the genes passed on consisting of your husband, Soon Bok, and another woman—it would be you guys’ instead. She would just, well, be the carrier of that embryo. Her genes would have no matter in the development of the child.” Kyungsoo looked between the duo, noting their exchanging glances and questioning expressions. They understood what he’d said—they just weren’t sure if they wanted to have someone else be involved in the matter. Soon Bok’s own parents had no idea that their daughter couldn’t conceived, nor did Chanyeol’s.

    “Would we have a choice in whom we wanted to be the carrier?” Chanyeol suddenly asked. If this meant that the child would be of his and his wife’s—then there should be no reason why they would attempt such a thing.

    “Of course. We actually have women on file that would love to help a couple in need out. The only thing is…well, the next step is slightly touchy…especially for Soon Bok.”

    “…nothing could be touchier than me being unable to conceive, doctor.”

    “Before we proceed to the next step, I will have to ask Soon Bok to take a pregnancy test.” Kyungsoo seemed slightly uncomfortable asking a woman who had trouble conceiving to do such a task. He knew her reaction wouldn’t be a good one, yet it needed to be done. “B-before either of you chew my head off—it is protocol. We need this so that we can add the results on file. We cannot go through with the procedure if Soon Bok would, perhaps, be pregnant.”

    “That’s impossible, doctor. What with all I have endured, I am sure that I am not pregnant. But for the sake of the file, I will oblige to your protocol. That doesn’t mean I like it, though.” Soon Bok brushed her hair out of her face before glancing up at her husband who remained silent in the last couple of minutes. It was so unlike him to be this way. Maybe he was just taking all of this information in.

    “I appreciate your cooperative nature, Soon Bok. I will just be a moment. I will have a nurse call for you and she will help you administer the test.” Bowing to the couple, Kyungsoo gripped his clip board closer to his chest and, upon standing upright, exited the room. He had no idea of the perspiration that’d caked onto his forehead. Of all of his patients and the various predicaments they had been in, this had to be the worst. Coming across a couple that’d tried literally everything, yet saw no results was heartbreaking. Yet, he found their persistent nature to be…inspiring. Maybe he, too, would be able to act in such a way with his own situation regarding his own wife. But that is another story—and right now the focus was not on him, but on his patients.

    “Babe…” Chanyeol paced around the room. Somehow he’d made it away from his wife’s side. “You’re making me nervous…” Soon Bok placed her hands in her lap, her thumbs trailing against one another. Her voice was drowned out by the sounds of Chanyeol’s shoes against the marble floor.

    “Soon Bok…are you sure you want to do this? I don’t want you to feel any pressure. I don’t want to hurt you with bringing you here only for us to be disappointed again.” He bit his bottom lip, yet continued to pace around the room.

    “Yeollie…we can’t back out now. I want to do this…I need to do this…for us.”

    As soon as the words escaped her lips, Chanyeol was back at her side, embracing her, his lips covering his wife’s in an instant. The kiss was soft, sweet, and loving. He wished he could have kissed her longer, more passionate, yet was unable to with the interruption of the nurse, who realized what she’d done and immediately poked her head back out of the room.

    “I’m so, so sorry!”

    “Oh, no problem; we’re finished.” Chanyeol smiled apologetically when she walked in the room, her cheeks flustered at what she’d witnessed.

    “I’m here for a Park Soon Bok…?”

    “That’s me…” Soon Bok raised her hand and smiled politely, embarrassed.

    “Please follow me. We will be back shortly. And the results will be back sooner than you think.”

    “Thank you so much.” Soon Bok quickly turned around and pecked her husband on the lips. Though nervous, she didn’t want to be away from him too long. “…I’ll be right back,” She whispered before slipping out of the door with the nurse, leaving her husband to wait patiently for results he already was sure of.

__

    It seemed like forever for the results to come in. Soon Bok sat on the examination table with Chanyeol closely standing by her side, his arm wrapped around her waist, her head against his chest. They knew the results; they were just ready for the next step to kick-start the process. It just seemed like the doctor, Kyungsoo, was taking his sweet time to inform them of everything they needed to prepare for. It got to the point where Soon Bok could barely keep still and Chanyeol was whispering lightly into her ear to wait patiently. It was at that moment that Kyungsoo walked back into the examination room. He didn’t look as he did earlier. His hair was tussled, his eyes wide, his tie loosened.

    Something was off.

    Something wasn’t right.

    Something had happened during the time that he was away from the two of them.

    …something…surprising.

    “Well, we already know what the results of the pregnancy test will say—we just want to know the next steps to go through in order to get this ordeal over with.” Chanyeol spoke first, waiting on Kyungsoo to respond, yet he hadn’t. “…excuse me? Did you not hear me? I said—“

    “I know what you said…I just…”

    “…doctor, please!”

    “…there will, indeed, not be a need for us to continue on with the plans to find a carrier for the two of you. You two do not need someone else to carry an embryo.”

    “Why not? You were confident in the possibility earlier. Is it possible that you were unable to find anyone available?”

    “Chanyeol…you’re not listening to me. I’m saying that you two are no longer in need of such a complicated process.”

    “…what?”

    Kyungsoo slipped a document from his folder on the married couple and, with shaky hands, handed it to Chanyeol. As soon as he received the still warm document from the doctors’ hands, Chanyeol could only catch a glimpse of the bolded words before the paper slipped from his hands, his mouth fell open, and his breath stopped completely. He felt like he had died and he was in heaven. Maybe he…maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he had yet to wake up and the events of the day was playing through in the form of a dream—something unrealistic…something impossible…something of a pleasant surprise.

    “Yeollie…w-what does it say?” Impatiently, Soon Bok jumped down from the table and grabbed the document on the floor. Her reaction wasn’t nearly the same as Chanyeol’s. No. Instead, the girl stood there thinking about everything that’d happened in the recent weeks before looking back at the paper; the words clear and in bold print.

Park Soon Bok’s Pregnancy Results:

Park Soon Bok – Pregnant

    “With the track record of that file I have on the two of you I could barely believe it myself. However, we tested the samples of urine you gave us multiple times. Each time the results were clear—as vivid as the words on that paper. You, Park Soon Bok, are pregnant. Somehow…you were able to conceive, though everything else failed. Your patience certainly paid off.” Kyungsoo was trying to maintain his professionalism. Looking at the young, married couple, his heart was laced with relief, joy…and sadness. “I-I’ll leave you two alone to deal with the results. I will be back shortly.”

    Walking to the door, Kyungsoo was nearly out before turning towards the Park’s.

    “Oh, and congratulations,”

    When the two of them were alone, Chanyeol sneaked behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her waist and bringing her closer to him, his eyes glued onto the document. He…he couldn’t believe this. His wife…the woman whom many doctors have said was infertile…had conceived. And this had been done without any treatment, any pills—anything.

    “I-I can’t believe…Yeollie…I can’t believe…” Her voice cracked, and sure enough, tears were sliding down his wife’s cheeks. Instead of wiping them away like he would have done had she been shedding sorrowful tears, Chanyeol cried with her, too.

    “…neither can I, but I am thankful…” He wanted to say more—he should have said more—but in that moment, all that mattered was the woman wrapped in his arms—the woman who was carrying his child. He was speechless. Without realizing, his hand slid down towards her stomach which was still flat. Soon her stomach would be large enough to display her pregnancy to the world and he was sure that he would dote over her with every passing moment.

    His wife…the woman who had always been so beautiful to him throughout the years…had this glow about her that made her…more beautiful. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to snatch the paper from her hands, throw it behind them, and display his happiness in a way that his words were unable to do. Chanyeol, in shock, could do the only thing his body would allow him to do…

    …shed tears for the serendipity that came with the sweet revelation of his wife’s shocking pregnancy.