”____!”

You shouldn’t have turned around. Maybe he would’ve walked away thinking he made some sort of mistake. But it was too late now. You naturally just turned your head to find the exact person you were not looking forward to seeing.

But still, you tried. Snapping your head back forward, you not-so-subtly walked the hell out of there.

Unfortunately for you, your luck was as short as your legs, and you were pulled back into the one person that you just couldn’t get away from within the five seconds you were trying your hardest to basically sprint like a freaking Olympic athlete on steroids.

Well, you had accomplished one month of absence, but it was clear now that whether you liked it or not, Taemin was going to find you somehow. Even if it did take him one month of sitting at the same places you two used to visit all the time, just hoping that you’d show up for him to finally sit you down with him and talk. Really talk this time around.

See, what Taemin didn’t understand was that you weren’t ready. Talking’s not fun. You don’t talk much. Only so much time in this world for silly distractions like talking.

You didn’t know why you thought you’d be able to get away with taking a breather in the same park you and Taemin met in. It was close to where you lived after all so you had easy access to it and you liked to visit it whenever you had time. Maybe you had hope that he’d leave you alone. It was getting to the point in the day where the playground was desolate and there were only a few people remaining in the park too.

You’d think that he’d understand that you couldn’t talk to anyone without somehow being reminded of your problem and have to desperately fight to keep the tears at bay. That was kind of why you’d been living like a hermit for the past month.

This thought might as well have been a myth, because it had obviously just been busted. The proof was staring you right in the face. Which, reminded you. Don’t look at the very attractive boy gripping onto you and staring at you like a lost puppy.

Oh, look, what an interesting tree that was over there!

”____…”

You could feel him staring holes into your face. Now you were grimacing at the oh-so interesting tree when it hadn’t done anything to you. At least the tree wasn’t pulling you away from the park and to the nearby restaurant against your will.

You were not going to open your mouth. You just wanted him to leave you alone. There was no use in having a conversation with someone who would refuse to give you any sort of reply.

And that was the thought that kept your lips sealed as Taemin continued on as if you weren’t resisting him. Just keep this up, you thought to yourself. Eventually… he’d just stop giving you more weight to add to the one crushing your chest at the moment.

But Taemin said nothing to you, simply just holding onto your wrist. His grip was pretty firm. Actually, if you tried to resist, it’d probably be pretty useless. And you didn’t want to waste anymore energy on trying to escape.

You let him open the door for you, following close behind you with his hand still wrapped around your wrist. He reluctantly let your wrist go, watching for any sign that you were going to run away and finally sat down across from you when you sat down at the table and fixed your eyes to the window on your right.

A few minutes passed slowly. All Taemin could do was alternate looking at the table, the window and a few snuck glances at you. And you…

No.

No…

Don’t.

Don’t. You. Dare.

You were resisting the urge to take a little peek through your peripheral vision at the boy sitting across from you.

One teensy little glance, the little voice in your head whispered.

Wha-what. Wait. Isn’t that voice supposed to keep you out of trouble?

You wanted to tell that voice to screw themselves over. And… Oh, yes. This was just what you needed. Evidence of your eventual insanity.

When the waiter came to take your order, Taemin ordered for you because he at least knew that you were keen on keeping yourself closed to him and the poor waiter who had nothing to do with anything (who actually kind of did because he was listening to Taemin, which in turn meant he was on Taemin’s side, and anybody on Taemin’s side was not on yours).

And of course he knew everything that you wanted but didn’t at the same time. It was what you always got when you came here, plus an extra strawberry cheese cake because he knew how much you couldn’t resist sinking your teeth into something sweet, especially when you were in a bad mood. Maybe he thought it would help get him on your good side again.

But you didn’t need him to do this for you. You spent the whole month thinking. Of those thoughts, Taemin was the most prominent one. As in thoughts that involved convincing yourself that you didn’t need said person in your life, period..

The silence was actually getting to you now. You should be used to it since you’ve accustomed yourself to just staring at walls for extended periods of time and sure you probably brought that upon yourself, but Taemin had been quiet for the most part. It was too weird. A month ago, he was still talking your ear off about the most random of things. You were content to listen and add in comments when you deemed necessary.

You hadn’t realized you had been staring until Taemin stopped away the remainder of the milkshake he had above his upper lip. And just in case you didn’t feel awkward enough, you hadn’t realized you’d been staring at specifically his lips either.

LOOK AWAY. LOOK AWAY NOW, YOU FOOL!

All you could manage was lifting your eyes slowly to his own. There was some surprise that you were giving him the slightest amount of acknowledgement, relief that he could see a crack in your defenses, but then you were surprised yourself when there was something else in there.

Taemin was always an open book. You wished that wasn’t the case.

Instead of searching any further, you looked back to that little blob of pink still resting on his face.

Just clean it off already, Taemin. Can’t you tell that it’s just… there?

Taemin was paying way too much attention to you to even care.

It seemed like he wasn’t receiving all of your telepathic messages either. You would think that he’d take a hint eventually since you were so eager to fixate all your attention on that one spot on his face.

It was seriously annoying the crap out of you now. So you did what you had wanted to do and reached over the table with your napkin in hand and gently dabbed it off.

And then you were doomed. Your eyes had strayed a little too far and had landed right on Taemin’s again.

But they looked so lost, confused, conflicted.

"I don’t know what you want me to do."

You began to lower yourself back to your seat and he looked as if he was going to stand up and grab you, but he remained still, only and biting his lip and blinking his eyes at the table.

"I’m sorry if I did anything wrong."

But that was exactly why it was so hard for you to give up on Taemin. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was perfect. Just not for you, especially not at that time.

"I’m sorry for kissing you. You probably weren’t ready for that, and I…"

Your hand on his mouth stopped him midway through his sentence as you sighed. You swallowed slowly as you opened your mouth.

"Taemin, you wouldn’t understand."

Warm, sweaty palms that were clasped on his lap before were holding yours as he searched your averted eyes.

"How would you know? You’re not even letting me try!"

Breathing was getting exceptionally hard now. By the sound of Taemin, it seemed like he had the same problem.

"You’re still like a child…" you murmured under your breath. "It’s just-" you began, but movement from the entrance caught your gaze.

Taemin watched as you quickly ducked under the table. It would almost be comical to you if you weren’t feeling like you were going to puke the strawberry cheesecake back up.

”__-“

You shushed Taemin and clutched yourself as you motioned weakly with your finger for him to turn his head. When he seemed to get the message, you tucked your chin to your chest and bit your lip almost hard enough to pierce the skin.

He hesitated, but he looked exactly where you wanted him to. It was then that he understood. He understood what you needed and what he needed to do to make that happen.

You were surprised to see a nice pair of shoes stop at your side of the table and were even more surprised to see that these specific pair of shoes were Taemin’s. Instead of grabbing your wrists like earlier, he intertwined your fingers and wrapped your arms around his torso.

That was how you walked out of the restaurant. It was a little difficult to walk, you were duck-waddling for the most part, and you accidentally stepped on Taemin’s heels more than a few times causing the both of you to stumble, but as you buried your face into his warm back, you couldn’t help but feel guilty.

Guilty because this one moment felt a lot better than the many good times you had with your ex-boyfriend whom you had escaped from the restaurant not too long ago.

You felt your full body press against his as he came to a stop.

It wasn’t until Taemin felt you shaking that he turned around in your embrace to find you sobbing. He had managed to remain calm this whole time, but when he felt your head burrow itself further into his shirt his head took refuge against your neck and his hands clutched at the back of your jacket and brought you even closer to his form.

"I was wrong," you said quietly as you slowly began to calm down. Your words were a bit muffled by the now wet fabric of his shirt, so you laid your chin onto his shoulder.

Taemin’s only response was his hands slipping down your shoulder blades to your waist.

"When you confessed to me right after my boyfriend broke up with me, I thought you didn’t understand how I was feeling at all…"

You could still feel the gentle press of soft lips against yours.

"I was so hurt. I thought you were acting immature and trying to take advantage of me when I was at my lowest point."

"Taemin!"

"I thought you couldn’t be serious. Just a kid speaking about things he didn’t know about."

"You should be with me, ____. Please."

"I thought you were my best friend. I thought you were the only person who wouldn’t hurt me."

"Why are you doing this to me…?"

"I am your best friend," Taemin murmured, probably not meant for you to hear, but his mouth was next to your ear so it was loud and clear to you.

Yet you continued, “But then I realized I would be the one to hurt you.”

"Because I love you…"

"It scared me. Things were moving too fast for me."

"And I’m the one."

"So I ran. And I hid from you. Because I didn’t think you were ready."

"You don’t return my feelings, I understand. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. You don’t have to force yourself to pretend you can tolerate me anymore. I’ll leave you alone," he mumbled against your shoulder.

"You really don’t understand," you shook your head.

Taemin lifted his face enough for him to get a clear view of yours, eyes widening as you came closer and leaned your forehead against his. He could feel appendages sliding along his arms to hold his face affectionately.

"I didn’t want to burden you. You have so much of your life to live. I can’t anchor you down like that."

His lips opened and closed a few times as he contemplated what he could say to you. When he finally spoke, he settled for, “What do you mean?”

”I’ve always known that I loved you, Taemin,” you laughed breathlessly. “And because I love you, I didn’t want you to have to support me.”

"But I honestly want to.”

You moistened your lips and let your eyelids close as you chuckled sadly. “You know, when my ex-boyfriend left me, he didn’t just leave me with an apartment full of his crap.”

Both of your hands fell from his face and untangled his arms. Cautiously, almost shyly, you placed them on your stomach.

"What-"

"I know him well enough to be sure that he’s not going to be the sort of person I would need him to be."

Taemin blinked.

"Do you really want to be called ‘Appa’ so soon?"

Taemin’s hands fell from your abdomen as he stared at you, slack-jawed.

"You’re…"

You nodded and waited for a swift rejection. Or just another apology and another man out of your life. Maybe even no words at all, just straight to the running away.

Taemin picked the last option. Without the running away part.

Instead, he grabbed your shoulders and brought you back to earth. Because you must have been floating out in space to not see that Taemin was more than capable of being your pillar. And more than capable of being your future child’s appa.

You breathed in his scent. His shirt was still stained with your tears, but you didn’t care. You had stopped caring about anything else but the knowledge that you wouldn’t be alone.

"I’m the one who should take care of you."

And then you were truly at ease.

-

AND IT’S FINALLY FINISHED.

lolz for bad titles

For the anon who asked for a Taemin scenario where you are super stressed and nervous but he isn’t sure how to help you.