i remember when i first found you, taeil. your body laid on the bathroom floor, completely still and as pale as a ghost. i remembering feeling my heart drop when i realized what you had done. when i realized you were gone. i remember running to the front door of our dorm, throwing it open as i yelled down the hallway for the others to come and help. i remember holding your small, cold body to me tightly, pleading for you to wake up as i sobbed. i remember every detail, taeil hyung. 

i'll never be able to forget it.