Black and White

The end of the world isn’t really the end of the world. But when his view turned black and white, Jongin’s world started crumbling down. Or maybe not…

*****

The world was black and white. It was never full of colors. Ever since Kyungsoo was born, all he ever see was black and white and gray and black and white and nothing else. It was boring but Kyungsoo could never do anything about it. He can’t see the world in full color unless he meets the person that is destined to be with him, he won’t be able to live life fully unless he meets his soulmate.

Kyungsoo was walking in a crowded place that spring, he remembered the people he encountered – those business men and students looking very tired and a young man wearing a hood while kicking a small can and the poor beggars near the sidewalk –  and then in a sudden, the world showed him colors, he couldn’t help but be amazed. Kyungsoo cannot forget how it felt that time, he was just simply walking alongside people he doesn’t know when he felt like the world was turning upside down and his head hurt – a lot. Kyungsoo wanted to faint that moment but when he opened his eyes, his jaw dropped to the ground in an instant. The trees weren’t gray anymore. It was green. Well, there were different shades of green. The flowers in bloom were glowing. The colors of the stoplight, green and red and yellow. The flashy red cars on the road and the colorful clothes of the young girls passing by him. It was amazing.

People turned to look at him when he squealed in delight. But many of them knew why. They were used to it. Kyungsoo ran happily while shouting. Those people that saw him only smiled saying “Congratulations, boy.” Because hell yeah, it was lucky for someone to be able to see the world in full color. There were some who didn’t have the chance to see it before they die. It was weird really. Because they believe that for every person in this world, there is someone meant for him or her. But maybe they just weren’t lucky enough to meet them fast.

But then Kyungsoo stopped.

Who was the reason for this change? Who made him see the world in full color?

*****

Jongin kicked the can of juice with too much power. He was frustrated. Sehun was as lazy as like the usual and they need to repeat the whole dance routine for almost ten times because the younger wouldn’t move and Jongin was already tired and he’s close to fainting.

He grunted and frowned and cursed but that won’t do him any good. He continued kicking the can while muttering profanities under his breath. He was looking at the can while imagining it was the face of Oh Sehun and when he kicked it, it went somewhere far away and once again, he cursed. He walked towards it but when he was about to pick it up, he was frozen on the spot.

He saw it. The can turned blue. Not dark gray, but blue. Jongin opened his mouth to try to say something but nothing came out. He was out of words. He can’t even process what had happened but he knew it. He knew that he found someone that he was destined to be with.

But who?

There were hundreds of people on the same street as him. The whole place was crowded and he even heard someone shouting like a retard but he scanned the whole crowd hoping that maybe someone will catch his attention this spring day.

But no one ever did.

*****

Ever since Kyungsoo was able to see the world fully, he was always seen smiling. His smile never wavers even though he still doesn’t know who changed his world. He would try to find that person hoping that if he looked hard enough, someone might catch his attention. Someone who would make him feel different. But so far, no one ever did.

School was never the same the next few days. Those lifeless sides and edges of their building looked a lot nicer than before and he managed to appreciate the structure of the place much better than he did days ago. It was really good to finally be able to see things the way it is, not just to be confined in some monochromatic dimension.

Kyungsoo was too engrossed in being utterly amazed by the change that he didn’t notice a guy running towards his direction. It was lunch time and Kyungsoo was carrying his hot chocolate that got a little colder because he was walking around too much, so when the guy bumped into him, the drink was splattered on the guy’s white shirt.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth and apologized for a thousand times while he was being over acting and he was panicking. The guy smiled at him, a great number of teeth was shown and Kyungsoo suddenly felt chills. The guy looks creepy but he must admit that he kind of looked good.

“No, don’t worry it is fine. It is actually my fault because I was too stupid to run in the hallways when it’s obviously not allowed.” His voice was deep, too deep and it doesn’t match his face. Not one bit. “By the way, my name’s Park Chanyeol. Nice bumping into you.” He smiled again then he extended his arm hoping that Kyungsoo will extend his as well.

“Uhm. I’m Do Kyungsoo, nice to be bumped by you, too. But are you sure it’s fine? Your shirt is white after all and it will be very hard to get the stain off that shirt. It may take a long time. If you want then I’ll take care of that then I’ll give it back after. I’m really sorry so please accept my offer.” Kyungsoo said looking very guilty and persistent, his eyes were shining as well, maybe because he was attempting to do aegyo to make Chanyeol say yes, so in the end, the taller of the two wasn’t able to decline.

*****

Having weird friends was something Jongin was not ashamed of. In fact, he’s proud of them. Even if sometimes, he really wants to wring Sehun’s neck or hang Zitao or choke Jongdae to death, he can’t because he loves them so much and he can’t imagine his life without their stupidity.

Jongin was not surprised when his weird friends decided to celebrate his luck. He was only sitting in front of his laptop when Sehun barged into his lone apartment carrying cans of coke and some bubble tea, followed by Tao and Jongdae with packs of snacks.

Jongin could only shake his head and sign before giving in and letting themselves enjoy the rest of the night.

“So Kkamjong, what does that person look like?” Jongdae asked while grinning like an idiot.

“Like I told you before, I don’t know. I was just kicking a can thinking it was Sehun,” a loud ‘hey’ from Sehun was heard from one corner, “and when I was about to pick it up, everything was in color.”

“Wow, you’re lucky yet unlucky.”

“I know.”

It was near midnight and the four of them was getting loud and the whole place was already a mess when Sehun received a call from someone – his boyfriend, Jongin thought – and he seems worried. When he hanged up, he only sighed.

“What’s wrong, Bulgehun?” Jongdae asked while drinking his coke. “Why the sad face?”

“It’s Luhan. He was worried of his friend that escaped the hospital this spring. Someone named Bakhyung or whatever that hasn’t returned for days. He’s crying while talking to me.” Sehun sighed, bringing his phone back into his pocket.

“Oh. That’s very unfortunate. Let’s just pray that they’ll find him.” Zitao said, noticing the sudden change in the atmosphere. Everything suddenly became awkward and they’re not used to this.

“Don’t worry about it too much Sehun. Everything will be alright soon.” Jongin assured his friend while patting the younger’s back. He understands Sehun. He’s worried about Luhan since the elder was the one that made him see everything in color. Luhan is Sehun’s soulmate so whenever Luhan's sad, Sehun will be too.

And seeing his friend sad and worried, makes Jongin feel the same.

*****

Their celebration ended earlier than expected. Sehun was looking very worried and Jongin couldn’t take to celebrate when one of his friends was not feeling well. He let them spend the night in his apartment not wanting to risk their safety this late at night.

But when Jongin closed his eyes that night, he dreamt of a person with big eyes and heart shaped lips that owns the most enchanting voice he had ever heard his whole life.

****

Kyungsoo never thought he would get so attached to Park Chanyeol.

Chanyeol was a very happy and cheerful person, he was a social butterfly unlike Kyungsoo who wants to keep himself in a low profile and he never talks to anyone unless he needs to. Both of them didn’t expect that they would get this close to the point that Kyungsoo was starting to think that he likes Chanyeol more than a friend.

Chanyeol managed to catch Do Kyungsoo’s attention and that rarely happens. His feelings didn’t falter especially when he knew that Chanyeol vision was in full color as well and it started on a spring day while he was walking on a crowded street like him. There could be a great chance that Chanyeol was the reason for the change in his vision.

Kyungsoo wanted to confess to his best friend. He really wanted to. He planned to do that on the first week of summer but then before spring finally ends, Chanyeol started to change. He was no longer cheerful, Kyungsoo would even find him spacing out and staring at nothing.

It was a few weeks later that Kyungsoo figured out why.

They were shopping for some paint on their way home and Kyungsoo asked Chanyeol’s opinion about which color was much better for him to buy. “I don’t see any color. Everything's black and white.” was Chanyeol’s answer.

Kyungsoo cried himself to sleep that night.

*****

The first week of summer was something Jongin will never forget easily.

The first reason was that it was the first time he saw Oh Sehun cry like a baby. Jongin doesn't know what to do that time. Even Jongdae and Zitao was speechless as they watch Sehun sobbing in front of them. The sight was new since Sehun was known to be strong but since Luhan entered the picture, his weak spot was found.

As expected, the reason behind Sehun’s tears were Luhan. He would never elaborate what really happened so Jongin and the others chose not to pry. Whatever happened should just be between the people involved.

The second reason was that the boy invading his dreams – the one with the heart shaped lips and big eyes – finally appeared in front of him. Jongin was simply walking, earphones hanging around his neck and he’s humming some kind of tune when he suddenly passed by a children’s park. That’s where he saw the guy from his dreams with someone else. Someone taller and manlier than him.

Jongin didn’t do anything the whole time he’s staring at them. He just admired the beautiful eyes of the stranger and he watched how his lips move whenever he talks. Jongin was simply mesmerized at the other’s beauty that he didn’t notice that the tall companion of his dream guy was already staring back at him with a sly smile on his face.

“Kyungsoo, I think that guy’s looking at you.” Kyungsoo stopped talking the moment Chanyeol told him that. He followed the direction Chanyeol was pointing at only to see someone staring at him intently. Kyungsoo tilt his head and stared back. After a moment, the boy looked he was out of trance and Kyungsoo saw how be bit his lip and how his face turned red because of being caught.

“I think you should approach him. He might be who you’re looking for.” Chanyeol said, a small smile on his face. That smile made Kyungsoo think about it. He knows Chanyeol isn’t his soulmate and the guy just across him might be who he’s looking for. Maybe he should try, was what his head was telling him.

Jongin was still blushing when he noticed the guy from his dreams was slowly approaching him. He wanted to run, he wanted to hide, he wanted to say something but his brain wouldn’t let him. He was standing like a retard with his mouth open when the guy smiled at him and extended his arm.

“Hi. My name’s Kyungsoo.” Jongin almost melted at Kyungsoo’s beautiful voice.

“I-I’m Jongin.” Kyungsoo felt his heart race at the simple introduction.

Kyungsoo and Jongin don’t know how they knew but they just knew. They found the person they’re looking for. They found their soulmate.

***** 

“Park Chanyeol~” Kyungsoo called his best friend who remained busy with his guitar even with the loud music playing in the apartment. “Yeol!” Still no response. Kyungsoo sighed deeply before starting his plan, “C-chanyeol… why is everything turning black and white? CHANYEOL.” With that Chanyeol dropped his guitar and headed to Kyungsoo’s aid, not knowing that his best friend only did that to get his attention.

“Kyungsoo, keep it together.” Panic was noticeable in Chanyeol’s voice and that made Kyungsoo guilty. Chanyeol was shaking and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but embrace his friend. This isn’t about him anymore, he knows that as Chanyeol turned pale and was continuously shaking. Chanyeol was afraid because he remembered the feeling of seeing black and white again.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry Chanyeol. I’m just joking okay? Stop shaking you’re scaring me.” Kyungsoo held the taller one in his arms tightly, not wanting to let go. “I’m sorry, Yeol…” But Chanyeol didn’t stop. Tears started forming in the corner of his eyes making Kyungsoo’s heart hurt.

*****

It took Chanyeol half an hour to finally calm down. Kyungsoo didn’t stop saying sorry even though Chanyeol told him to stop because he’s okay. But Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel bad for making Chanyeol remember a not-so-good memory.

“If say sorry even one more time, I’ll kick you.”

“Sor– I mean, okay I’ll stop.” Chanyeol smiled at him, and ruffled his hair.

“I forgive you the first time you said sorry so don’t mind it. You know I hate hearing apologies. It’s also my fault because I wasn’t paying attention to you and you ended up lying to make me look at you. I’m the worst best friend.” Kyungsoo shook his head and embraced him once again, “No you’re not. You’re like the brother I never had. I’m lucky to be your best friend, Yeol. I’m stupid to scare you like that.”

“I just don’t want you to experience what happened to me. I was never able to meet the person I’ll love before he died. But you, you met Jongin already and it will be a lot more painful for you. I won’t let that happen. I’m willing to protect him for you.” At that moment, no more words were needed. The smiles and hugs were enough to assure both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol that everything will be alright.

*****

“Jongin!” at Kyungsoo’s voice, Jongin automatically smiled and he enveloped Kyungsoo in his arms. It was winter and yet what he’s wearing wasn’t enough. But when he embraced Kyungsoo, it was more than enough. It felt like summer again.

“You smell like strawberry, hyung.” Jongin held Kyungsoo tightly and sniffed the elder’s hair before kissing his forehead. Kyungsoo giggled like a high school girl but he didn’t mind. He laughs cutely anyway.

“You know, you look like a ert while sniffing my hair.”

“Hmm, don’t care. I’ll smell you all I want. You’re very addicting.”

“Disgustingly sweet.” Kyungsoo pulled himself away from Jongin when he heard Chanyeol’s voice. They saw him standing just a few meters away from them. He was carrying his guitar and he was smiling at them.

“Hyung, don’t ruin the moment.” Jongin said while trying hard to hide the pout on his lips. Jongin and Chanyeol got along quickly that sometimes, Kyungsoo would get jealous of Chanyeol when he’s spending too much time with Jongin in playing video games.

“Can’t help it. The two of you decided to do be sweet on a public place. There are kids everywhere that might see you. You can’t corrupt their innocence or else, a mob of mothers will attack our apartment. I know none of you would like that.” The three of them laughed, even when Kyungsoo smacked Chanyeol’s head, he shrugged it off and laughed. From other people’s view, the three of them looked like they don’t have any problems. They looked like they’re enjoying their lives.

*****

It was Christmas Eve and Jongin decided to spend the night in Kyungsoo’s apartment. He arrived there a few hours before midnight and he came in time to hear Chanyeol singing a song he composed himself to Kyungsoo. Jongin admits he was a little jealous but he shrugged off the idea and just embraced Kyungsoo tightly the moment he saw him.

“Oh~ Being extra possessive tonight, I see.” Chanyeol couldn’t hide the smirk on his face, “I think this will be a long and painful night for you, Kyungsoo. Unless Jongin was prepared and brought some lu–“

“Oh my God Park Chanyeol! What are you talking about? Stop corrupting Jongin’s thoughts. He’s an innocent little kid.” Both Jongin and Chanyeol raised their eyebrows at Kyungsoo.

“You don’t mean that, Kyungsoo.”

“Yeah I don’t.”

*****

Kyungsoo was busy in the kitchen and both Chanyeol and Jongin was at the living room, playing some game that requires cursing whenever someone loses. Actually games they play possess that requirement. Kyungsoo almost threw the knife he was holding because of shock when Chanyeol screamed saying that he wants a refund and that the game . Without asking, Kyungsoo knew Chanyeol lost.

A pair of familiar arms embraced Kyungsoo from behind while he was chopping off the carrots for the soup. “Hyung, when are you going to finish?” he felt Jongin’s warm breath near his ear and he shuddered. He turned to face his boyfriend and smiled at the younger, “Just wait a little more, Jonginnie.”

“Still disgustingly sweet.” Chanyeol commented before grabbing an apple on the table, washing it then taking a big bite. Kyungsoo scoffed and threw a pot holder at him which he dodged without problem.

“Instead of commenting how disgustingly sweet we are, why don’t you go to the market and buy me some chocolate cake for the dessert?” Kyungsoo said, trying his luck and throwing a plastic spoon at Chanyeol this time. Unfortunately, he dodged it again.

“Okay okay, I’ll go ahead.” Chanyeol frowned and grabbed his jacket, “By the way, look above you!” he said before heading out.

Kyungsoo shook his head and sighed the moment Chanyeol left the apartment. Jongin laughed and embraced him once again. The elder looked up and that’s when he saw what Chanyeol was talking about. His face flushed pink and when Jongin notice that, he followed the direction where his hyung was looking at. He only smiled and turned Kyungsoo’s body so they’re facing each other.

“A mistletoe.” Kyungsoo blushed more when Jongin smirked. The younger leaned down meaning to kiss Kyungsoo but then he heard him gasp and Jongin was pushed away.

“What? Did I do something wrong, hyung?”

“No. It’s just…” Kyungsoo pointed something on the counter and when Jongin saw it, he sighed in defeat before grabbing his jacket, “Chanyeol hyung is stupid. Why did he leave his wallet here?” He grunted and kissed Kyungsoo’s forehead. “I’ll be back later. The mistletoe will be waiting for me.” Kyungsoo only smiled at him and that was enough for Jongin to feel warmth.

*****

The wind was cold even when Jongin was wearing three layers of clothing. He knows Chanyeol will go to Yixing’s pastry shop so he hid his face and started walking. The distance was far, he soon realized and Jongin decided to call a cab not wanting to catch a cold in this freezing night.

“Oh Jongin. What are you doing here?” Jongin was in time to see Yixing handing a box of cake to Chanyeol. He smirked at his hyung, “Where’s your wallet?”

At Jongin’s question, Chanyeol fished out his pockets and the change in his expression when he realized that his wallet was not with him, clearly amuses the younger. Chanyeol was starting to panic when Jongin decided to make his hyung calm down and threw the wallet to his face.

Yixing laughed at Chanyeol’s panic attack and in the end, he gave the cake for free and greeted them a Merry Christmas. It was when Jongin noticed there’s half an hour left before Christmas. Jongin tugged Chanyeol’s arm saying he needs to see Kyungsoo and the mistletoe was waiting for him. The taller of the two laughed and followed Jongin, this time he was the one laughing.

The two of them didn’t know what they’ll see once they reach their destination.

*****

Kyungsoo went back to his work after Jongin left. He started singing while cooking. He was focused on what he’s doing that he didn’t realize that a chaos was already starting downstairs.

*****

Everything was like in slow motion. Jongin couldn’t move. Chanyeol was frozen. They were out of breath. Oxygen left them the moment they laid their eyes on the burning building in front of them. The box of cake was left on the ground as Jongin ran towards the building only to be stopped.

“I NEED TO GET INSIDE. KYUNGSOO IS IN THERE. HE’S STILL ALIVE.” There can never be anything that can calm Jongin down. He was starting to get hysterical. He was hitting anybody that tries to touch him. Chanyeol was not any better. He was screaming and shouting at the firemen to do their job and kill the fire or else, he will bring down everything he touches. 

“Let me go! I need to save Kyungsoo!”

“I’m sorry sir. You can’t go any further. Our men are doing their best to rescue those people still inside the building.”

“Best?! Are you ing kidding me?! Let me in! Kyungsoo needs me!” This time, Jongin didn’t let anyone stop him. He ran towards the building, only grabbing someone’s helmet and a blanket for safety.

Chanyeol called him telling him what he’s about to do was dangerous but Jongin doesn’t give a anymore. He’s willing to risk his in exchange of Kyungsoo’s.

The whole building was on fire. Jongin was thankful their apartment was only at the third floor of the building and it won’t take that long for him to reach Kyungsoo. He ran as fast as he could. There were times when falling objects hit him but he didn’t mind. All he could ever think of was Kyungsoo. He needs to save his hyung. He said he’ll come back. He said the mistletoe will wait for him.

“KYUNGSOO HYUNG!” Jongin kicked everything in his way. He didn’t stop calling out Kyungsoo’s name. He knows he’s still alive. He knows because he can still see the burning red flames all around him. He can still see how things turned to ash and their color become grey.

“Kyungsoo hyung! If you can hear me then please answer!” Another piece of wood fell from the ceiling and it hit Jongin’s arm. He screamed in pain and that’s when he started feeling suffocated. He couldn’t breathe properly. But he can’t give up. He needs to look for Kyungsoo. He needs to get up…

He tried his best. He used all his remaining strength to stand up and keep going. His vision was starting to toy with him. He started seeing double. But he wasn’t able to see the cabinet falling unto him. But Jongin wasn’t surprised. He didn’t show any emotion at all as he fell to the floor. He could feel the blood coming out of his head.

“Jongin!”

Someone was calling him. He knows he should answer but he couldn’t open his mouth. His lungs was out of oxygen. Maybe he’s going to die here…

“ Kim Jongin! Open your eyes!”

But Jongin couldn’t.

*****

2 years later

This was probably the worst spring ever. Or maybe not because Jongin says that each spring.

It’s not that he hates spring. It’s just that every spring, Chanyeol would smile at him but it was obviously fake and then he would say something like, “This is Kyungsoo’s favorite season.” Each time he hears that from Chanyeol, his heart would heart and he doesn’t know why.

He doesn’t even know anyone named Kyungsoo.

And this spring wasn’t any different. Chanyeol visited him in his apartment early in the morning but he wasn’t alone. Sehun, Zitao and Jongdae was with him which made his morning a lot worse than he expected.

“Good morning, Jonginnie.” Jongin cringed at the nickname Sehun just called him. He couldn’t remember when he let his friends call him that. It sounds new yet familiar to his ears like someone else called him that before.

“My morning was good but then you guys came.” He frowned before going to the kitchen to fetch something to eat.

“Oh my. That hurt, Jonginnie.” Jongdae made a pained expression as he hold unto his chest acting as if he’s having a heart attack. Jongin only glared at him.

“Stop calling me Jonginnie. It’s bothering me.”

“But Kyungsoo used to–” Whatever Zitao was trying to say was cut off by Chanyeol. “Okay. We’ll stop. Let’s just go and watch some movie or play any game that doesn’t require colours.” Jongin looked at him weirdly. Every time someone mentions Kyungsoo, Chanyeol would act strange, like he was hiding some secret.

But Jongin trusts Chanyeol. He’s like a brother he never had. Chanyeol was the one who took care of him the moment he woke up in the hospital. It was hard for him at first, Jongin felt like something was different when he opened his eyes. But nothing really changed. He was very thankful of Chanyeol that time. He just met him that summer and yet, that winter night, he took care of him.

Jongin would never forget how he met Chanyeol at the park the first week of summer, two years ago. He was there, sitting alone and he was strumming his guitar and Jongin was amazed at how he could play it very well. Chanyeol smiled at him and approached him.

As Jongin watch his friends search for something to play, he started thinking about his surroundings.

What would it feel to finally see things in color?

*****

No one knows how it happened but Jongin couldn’t remember anything about Kyungsoo. It wasn’t amnesia or any sort of memory loss. It was just… magic?

Jongin woke up from being rescued from the burning building and Chanyeol was thinking how he could explain to Jongin that Kyungsoo was gone. He just stopped crying and his eyes were red but the moment Jongin smiled at him, he found it weird. He wasn’t looking for Kyungsoo.

“I’m glad you’re safe, hyung.” Jongin said while smiling, relief present in his eyes.

“What are you saying? Aren’t you supposed to be looking for Kyungsoo? You’re supposed to panic and ask me where he is and why is your vision black and white. Jongin what the are you saying about me being safe?!” Chanyeol wanted to cry that time. He couldn’t take what Jongin answered him. It removed the burden of how to explain Kyungsoo’s death to him but he couldn’t accept the truth.

He would never forget that moment.

“Why? Of course I’m glad you’re safe. The building was on fire and you were there. You sent me out to buy something for dessert and when I got back, the whole building was on fire. I ran inside and I called you but you weren’t answering… Maybe I fainted or something that’s why I’m here. And what are you talking about, hyung? My vision was always black and white.”

Chanyeol’s heart stopped. He wanted to curse Jongin and beat him until he’s once again unconscious but he couldn’t. He couldn’t hurt the person his best friend loves very much.

“D-do you know Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol’s voice was shaking. He’s afraid of Jongin’s answer. He didn’t know where he got the courage to ask but when he did, he wanted to take it back.

“No. I don’t know anyone named Kyungsoo. Is he your friend?” Jongin looked so innocent. He looked so sincere and it pains Chanyeol more.

“Y-yes. Yes he is.” And he’s your boyfriend.

“Why are you crying hyung? Is he in the building too? Is he safe?”

“N-no…”

It was like Kyungsoo never existed in Jongin’s world.

******

No one could explain to him why each winter, Jongin would feel like crying as he look up to the sky. No one could tell him why he every time he sees a mistletoe, he would feel like he had broken a promise. No one could explain why his hurt would heart whenever he eats chocolate cake.

No one but Kyungsoo.

No one but the person who never existed in Kim Jongin’s present world.

No one but the person who Jongin had loved more than his life.

No one but the person who wished to make Jongin forget him.

No one else.