"Will you stay with me forever, hyung?"

"Yes, Sehunnie. Just promise me the same. I love you."

"Sehunnie!"

 

I woke up that morning screaming and crying out for his name.

 

"Luhan, wake up! Wake up!" Minseok hyung raised his voice while shaking my body to wake me up from my bad dream. I opened my eyes with tears drizzled on my face. He sighed as I woke up.

"You're crying again." He paused a little, lowering his head. "Screaming Sehun's name."

I managed to wipe the tears on my face. "I dreamnt of him again, hyung."

"You always did." He said staring at my eyes. "Do you still have the hope that he's coming back? Wake up Luhan, its been ten years. Ten years of nothingness."

 

I was shocked at his reaction. This was the first time he scolded me about Sehun.

 

"But he promised me to--"

"To stay with you forever?" He sarcastically chuckled. "Where is he right now? Do you know? Does he made a way to see you again? You never see anybody's worth because of that kid. I'm so tired of this ing thing, Luhan." He left the room slamming the door.

 

I got up off my bed and prepare myself. I'm going to our secret place today even if Minseok hyung didn't want me to go there. Hoping to see Sehun swinging happily on the *duyan* just like the old times.

 

I walk on the street slowly. I can feel the breeze touching my pale cheeks giving me nostalgia. I passed their old house. It wasn't as good as but I still remember how he always wait for me outside their gate, how he ran towards me and hug me when he saw me walking near their house.

"Hyung, you're finally here! You are two minutes late." He pouted.

"Sorry Sehunnie, I prepared snacks for us that's why I'm late. And I bought this just for you." I grabbed something on my bag and gave it to him.

"Bubbletea!" His eyes were glittering. "Thank you."

He always held my hand and ran going to our secret place.

My eyes started to itch as I drenched myself to those memories. Memories I'm praying to come back to life again. But for 10 years without anything... I'm still believing.

 

I finally reached our hideout. It was a great relief to see it maintained just as the same like what it was before. I want Sehun to see it like this whenever he will come back. I rested on the hammock and closed my eyes for a couple of minutes.

"Hyung, can you build a hammock here? I want one, please?"

"Okay, I'll make one tomorrow for my Sehunnie."

After I took Sehun to his home, I came back to our place and made a hammock just for him.

"You made this, hyung? It's beautiful." He excitedly ran to the hammock I made and rode in it. He signalled me to sit next to me. 

"You liked it?" I asked him.

"Yes, hyung! Thank you." He cupped my face and kissed my cheek. My face turned crimson red. He just kissed my cheek. I don't know what to feel. My heart was beating very fast.

"Sehunnie, do you still remember everything? Will you still keep your promise?" I uttered to my self. An airplane crossed the sky, "How I wish you were riding that plane and come back here to see me." I sighed heavily.

The closeness between us got stronger as the time passed by. I know we're just kids but who cares? We enjoyed each other's company. We loved each other like more than brothers did.

 

"You will never go out with him."

"B-but mom--"

"No more buts, Sehun. You will never see him again. Do you understand?"

 

I heard her mother shouting as I stood in front of their house. I saw Sehun crying as he walked upstairs. I knew that there was a problem, so I just went home. Am I the one his mother talked about?

 

That night, my mind was troubling with the image of Sehun crying. I never seen him that way before. I want to hug him that time. I don't want to see him crying. Suddenly, there was someone throwing stones at my window. So I take a peek and saw Sehun there standing.

 

"Sehunnie, what are you doing here? It's so late." I shouted to him from my room.

"I want to see you now, hyung. I need you now." His eyes were swelling.

I immediately went downstairs to meet him. He readily hugged me tight while crying very hard.

"Hyung! I thought I will not see you again!" He still managed to talk while sobbing and sniffing hard. "Mom told me not to see you again."

That statement shocked me. "But w-why?"

"I don't know. I don't know."

"Okay, stop crying Sehunnie. Hyung is here." I patted his back to make him calm. We went to our hideout even though it was dark outside. We walked hand in hand towards our destination.

 

As we arrived, we sat on the hammock and speak no words.

 

"Hyung." He uttered.

"Yes, Sehunnie?"

He turned to me​ and said, "Will you stay with me forever, hyung?"

"Yes, Sehunnie." I caressed his lovely face. "Just promise me the same. I love you."

He pulled me into a kiss. A childish but a passionate one. My precious first kiss.

"I promise, hyung. I love you too." And we walked home together.

 

Without his mother's knowings, we met each night. We thought we were safe but we got busted. His mother confronted me one day.

 

"Luhan, can you please stay away from my son?"

"But maam--"

"I want a good future for my only son. And I don't want him to be in this kind of relationship. You're older, I know you understand me. If you don't, I'll make sure you will never see each other again."

 

Sehun and I met that night. I want to become strong in front of him even though I can't take all of this things anymore.

 

"Sehunnie!" I hugged him so tight when he arrived.

"Are you crying, hyung? Why?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Don't mind me. I'm okay. Just remember that I love you so much." I hugged him as long as I could but he needed to go home.

 

I took him home but to our surprise, his mother was outside their house waiting for him.

 

"Sehun, get inside the house. Now!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. "And you," he focused on me, "I told you to stay away from my son but you didn't listen." He turned back and walked inside their house.

"Luhan hyung!" Sehun continuously shouting for my names. His voice broke my heart into pieces. Tears started to fall from my eyes as I walked home. I never thought we will get at this point. I just want for both of us to be happy.

 

That was the last time I saw him. Days and weeks have passed, he didn't showed up. I knew he will do the hardest ways just to be with me. I always visit our place but no Sehun appeared. Until one day...

 

"They went overseas last week." A neighbor told me.

 

My world fell apart. He just left me like that without farewell. I ran through my room and cry all night. But I kept his promise until I grew up.

 

Hot tears flowed as those bad memories came back to my senses. It was 10 years later but it felt like it was happened yesterday. My chest tightened up making for me to breathe harder.

 

아직도 너의 소리를 듣고
Still, I hear your sounds

아직도 너의 손길을 느껴
And still, I feel your hand

오늘도 난 너의 흔적 안에 살았죠
Even today, I lived within your tracks

아직도 너의 모습이 보여
Still, I see your image

아직도 너의 온기를 느껴
Still, I feel your warmth

오늘도 난 너의 시간 안에 살았죠
Even today, I lived inside your time

 

길을 지나는 어떤 낯선 이의 모습 속에도
Even in the images of strangers passing through the streets

바람을 타고 쓸쓸히 춤추는 저 낙엽 위에도
Even in the fallen leaves dancing lonely in the breeze

뺨을 스치는 어느 저녁에 그 공기 속에도
Even in the air brushing past my cheek on some evening

내가 보고 듣고 느끼는 모든 것에 니가 있어 그래
In all the things I'm seeing and hearing and feeling you're there, so...

어떤가요 그댄 당신도 나와 같나요 
How about you? Do you and I feel the same?

어떤가요 그댄
How about you?

 

지금도 난 너를 느끼죠
Even now I feel you, like this,

이렇게 노랠 부르는 지금 이 순간도 난 그대가 보여
Even while I'm singing this song I see you

 

내일도 난 너를 보겠죠
Even tomorrow I'll see you

내일도 난 너를 듣겠죠
Even tomorrow I'll hear you

내일도 모든게 오늘 하루와 같겠죠
Even tomorrow everything will be the same as today

 

길가에 덩그러니 놓여진 저 의자위에도
Even on that empty chair sitting alone on the roadside

물을 마시려 무심코 집어든 유리잔 안에도
Even in a glass of water picked up inadvertantly

나를 바라보기 위해 마주한 그 거울 속에도 
Even in the mirror I'm facing to see myself

귓가에 살며시 내려앉은 음악 속에도 니가 있어
Even in the music that slowly settles in my ears, you're there

 

어떻하죠 이젠 그대는 지웠을텐데 
What now? you must've moved on

어떻하죠 이제 우린
What do we do now?

 

그리움의 문을 열고 너의 기억이 날 찾아와
I open the door of longing and memories of you come out at me

자꾸 눈시울이 붉어져 
Over and over the corners of my eyes turn red

그리움의 문을 열고 너의 기억이 날 찾아와 
I open the door of longing and memories of you come out at me

자꾸만 가슴이 미어져
Over and over my heart is torn apart

"Sehunnie.." I saw our old photograph pasted on the wall of our mini hut. "I'm a grown up man now. How about you? Do you still remember my face?" I sighed. "I still keep our promise. I will never lose hope that someday we will meet again. I hope you're also holding to the promise you've given to me. I miss you my Sehunnie. I love you. I will love you as long as I could."