“Can you please drive faster, sir?” I demanded, directing my temper to the cab driver taking me to my destination today. He looked at me from the front mirror of the car and I think I saw him roll his eyes. I’m not sure though. But I’m not about to find out since there wasn’t really a development on the pace of the taxi.

“As in today, please?” I pressed, gesturing at my watch for emphasis. I saw him huff once, and then the car went from a snail pace to a camel phase. I massaged my forehead and tried to comfort myself by thinking that hey, maybe camels had this hidden speed in them in case of emergencies. I am not comforted.

I might sound like a little brat but trust me I’m not. If you were here in this car, you’d probably say worse. You know when it feels like you’re an inch reaching your toes but you still couldn’t because your stomach had this little bump called fats and it’s making everything difficult for you, especially wearing that y dress bought to you by your mom? That was exactly how I feel today. I am, what, an hour away from Seoul Astrodome but the travel time I had to undergo feels like three hours in the least.

Today was EXO’s ‘Miracles in December’ goodbye stage. And it would probably be over six months in the least before they make another comeback, which basically means I’m not going to see them for looooooong. And six months of no EXO might as well be a day without water, food, and TV. Okay, maybe not TV but you get the point. I was thoroughly convinced that in every fangirl’s life, their fandom was at least one of the basic necessities in life: food, water, shelter, oppas.

Aside from that, I will not let my A++ effort go to waste because I almost had to say goodbye to my iPad just to get the VIP seat for this performance. You see, when you ask parents for food, they were willing to give you just about anything (even though they may not notice that you’re starting to look like a hot air balloon), but when you ask for concert tickets, it feels as if you’re not entitled to any fun in the world at all. So I had to say goodbye to my allowance meant for food for a week, and break three little oink oinks (piggy bank) just to get one last good look at the deer’s face.

A deer’s face, that’s right.

If you’re not a fangirl, then you might as well close that little red button at the corner of your screen because you cannot relate to the next blabbering you’re about to read.

If you were one of those boring little kids who only knew geography, chemistry, trigonometry, or anything ending in ry, then you’d probably say ‘if you want to see a deer, why don’t you go to a zoo or just get a picture posted in the four corners of your room?’ Trust me I’ve done the latter suggestion. But if you want pizza, and there’s an endorsement of it playing on the TV, with those extra cheese and pepperoni stuff, would watching that endorsement satisfy your hunger? Or if the Converse you’d been eyeing for so long, had just been worn by your idol in a photo shoot, would you sigh and say, ‘I’ve seen the shoes of my dream in the guy of my dreams I can die happy now’?

Of course not.

You’d want to see them in person, alive and moving and tangible. Maybe not tangible within your reach because security is tight and you wouldn’t want to be confused as a saesang, but at least you’re breathing the same air as he does.

As for the deer, no he’s not a deer, as in with those antlers and stuff, but yes he’s a deer with those pretty little eyes that sparkle and shine. He’s one of the 12 members of the boy group called EXO that debuted on April 2011, and well, the rest is history.

 

 

Finally, finally, after about two hours of excruciating travel, we arrived in front of the Seoul Astrodome that looks like as if millions of people from around Washington, D.C. had joined forces to kick Barack Obama from the White House. I had always thought that if you join all Kpop fans from all over the world, we can beat the Guineas for the most number of crowds ever.

From the safe haven of the taxi, I can see mass of bodies swaying and jumping and screaming inside the astrodome even though I’m pretty sure the concert hadn’t started yet. I gave the driver roll of bills and got out of the taxi as soon as I can.

I most definitely, did not tip him.

 

 

After I’ve given the precious VIP ticket in the attendant at the entrance, I went straight to the designated spot my best friend and I had agreed. I do not know what I’d do without her at times like this, to be honest. We agreed to meet two hours before the concert, and I’m two hours late but she still did the liberty of finding both of us a good spot, just right to see the godly faces of our idols. Given the fact that she was never punctual, whether it is for school or for some sort of shopping her dad bribes her with, her punctuality for every EXO concert was always a subject for a treat to the nearest bubble tea shop the next day.

She waved at me from a distance and I immediately recognized her from that ridiculously bright orange hair. I told her it looks ludicrous but she told me that in case of emergency, it would be of advantage since her hair will stand out and she will be found immediately. Now I understand what she was saying. I still think it’s ridiculous though.

“Wow baby, two hours,” she greeted in disbelief.

“Hi to you too,” I said, taking the handkerchief away from her grip and wiping my sweat-covered forehead.

She rolled her eyes and muttered, “Gross,” before taking her DSLR and adjusting the lens, probably for a good focus.

Kim Yoon Soo had been my best friend since we were in third year high school. She was a transferee and a little of the ry kid (trigonometry, chemistry) when she arrived, but after about three months of showing pictures of EXO, Shinee, MissA and other Kpop groups; I dragged her into my world, and we were inseparable since then.

We always joked about how our mothers were twins. Like mine, her mom would most definitely not tolerate her fangirl absurdity and stalking tendencies. Our mothers also had these moments when they will buy us dresses with frills and flowers when it is obvious enough that our wardrobe was mostly consisted of tee shirts, jeans and sneakers.

Yoon Soo was my untwin though. While I am fair-skinned and straight-haired, she had skin like Kai’s and wild, curly hair. I am also almost full Chinese and she’s pure Korean. Well, she’s 1/8 Malaysian, if that counts for something. We are both talkative and noisy, but she had like, two times of my total energy, both potential and kinetic. She likes metal rock and I have always been the ballad type. There were probably about hundreds of differences to be listed off, but most importantly, she likes Zhang Yixing and his spacing-out tendencies and his dimpled cheek, and according to her, ‘just about everything in him is perfect!’. While as all of you may have already guessed, I bask in the glory of Lu Han, his sparkling eyes, his ‘manliness’, his perfect voice, and just everything about him.

“HOLY UNICORNS!” Yoon Soo’s shrill pulled me out of my reverie. I looked at the stage at once and turned my head wildly, automatically in search for the doe eyes and button nose.

“Where? Where?” I shouted at her in panic. All I could see were bright lights and smoke in front of the stage, and I so did not buy a VIP ticket just for these stupid lights.

“Here, in my heart,” she pointed at her chest and grinned at me wildly. I almost wanted to smack her. “Will you stop it?” I demanded. Her grin just grew wider. She knew that I hate it when she acts all saesang-like, or whenever she shows her obsession in public. “I am so not with this lunatic,” I muttered. I looked down, and noticed the black wedge almost stepping on my converse. I followed whose feet it belongs to and ended up staring at Yoon Soo’s face. I raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you wearing high heels?” I stared at her in disbelief. So that was why something was off. She was three times taller than me and –

“And why are you wearing short shorts?! And what’s that? unicorn shirt –”

“What?” she shot back defensively. “Don’t you think I look hot?”

I brought my hand in my face. “Oh dear God.”

Just as I’m about to wallow in grief because I’m only wearing my usual pair of jeans, with red Converse and Cookie Monster shirt while my best friend was here, all dressed up (girly eww) and so ready to show some skin to her bias, there was a loud explosion and everyone started their ear piercing shouts and shrieks and yells.

“Kai-oppa!”

“Kris-oppa kyaa~”

Everyone was chanting their bias’ name. As if in instinct, I immediately searched for Luhan’s face and in instinct again, found it by one sweep of my eyes. He was waving wildly at his fans, smiling brightly like it’s the first time he’d ever seen such a crowd. Which was of course, a lie.

Everyone knew that they’d been to places, performed in different stages and gathered millions of fans right from their rookie days. That’s one of the things I loved about Luhan. He never failed to be grateful to his fans. He always looked at them like they were the best thing that ever happened to his life. He always worked hard (well every EXO member does) and it looks as if he never wanted to disappoint just a single girl from the crowd.

“Luhaaaaaaaaaaan!” I joined the mob of fangirls screaming, waving my arms in the air in unison. “Isn’t he perfect?” I muttered (which is more of a shout) at Yoon Soo’s direction. There was no response. I chanced a glance at her and almost wanted to snatch the DSLR away because her face was priceless. There was a dreamlike look on her face, and was wide agape. You know Mr. Crabs when he sees wads of money in the cash register of Krusty Crabs? That’s how she looked like right now. Not with moneys in her eyes but hearts and unicorns and clouds. I snapped shut because I am pretty sure she’ll drool if I didn’t.

“Zhang Yixing is perfect~”

I rolled my eyes. I was too busy with Luhan to notice any other perfection aside from his’ right now.

 

 

The concert seemed to last for only about thirty minutes even though my wrist watch begged to differ. Time moved so fast whenever EXO was involved. Three hours later (according to my watch) and EXO was saying their goodbye and thank you messages already. As usual, they never failed to express their gratitude and promised to give a better performance on their next comeback.

They gave one last look at the crowd, and when Luhan happened to look at my direction, I thought I’m experiencing a cardiac arrest.

They said that when you look at the eyes of the person you dreamt of having, time stops. They said it would be as if everything is in slow motion, and there was nothing in this world but him and you, your hearts beating at the same rate as each other.

Whoever it was who told that was a ONE BIG FAT LIAR. Or maybe he or she really had no idea what looking at the eyes of that special person felt like. I’ll tell you how it was.

It seemed as if the world had rotated 360 degrees in one second. Everything was a blur, and the air was knocked out of your lungs. The world did not stop for you. Maybe it just kept on moving at its own steady pace, but it felt like Earth was trying to chase the Moon, moving at a fast-forward speed without any specific destination.

That one-second glance Luhan had given me felt like 16 jiffies at most. Because just as how fast his eyes met mine, was also just how fast it shifted to another place.

And then he was gone.

With only remnants of my winded heart left for the fangirls to stomp on.

 

 

 

Author's Notes;  First chap woooooh. I had a hard time with the layout to be honest. But it's so pretty so you better click that button below to check it out. Anyway, this is sort of, Kyu Ree's background. Tell me what you think? Also: grammatical mishaps may happen so please tell me if you spotted some and i'll fix it.

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