Somewhere closer I can hear the wedding bell
It's a fine day I am wearing a blue shirts like the sky

I can practically hear the wedding bells now. Yes, I know the wedding is still a year away but, the preparations make it seem closer. Besides, a year really isn't much time at all right? I mean, it isn't even as long as they have known each other. But, it isn't any of my business is it? Of course not! I'm not the one getting married. My sister in law's best friend is getting married. My first love. The girl of my dreams. And here I am smiling, wearing her favorite color blue, pretending that I am absolutely thrilled that she is going to marry the king of my old high school.  

I know what you're thinking. Why don't I just tell her how I feel? I thought about that, too. The thing is, whenever she is planning, she just looks so happy. Why don't I just stay away from the planning? I would if it weren't for my brother's wife who always talks me into coming with her. Why do these things always happen on my days off? And by days off, I mean days she makes me take off just to them around to different venues and catering companies. 

I'm a busy man these days. I have my responsibilities at the company I work for, I have to be responsible for their safety while we are out, and I have to be responsible for my own feelings. Trying to hide your feelings from someone you are around almost all the time is hard enough, but I tend to get carried with my little fantasy of her marrying me. This may seem harmless, but it's actually quite dangerous. I've had to catch myself several times to keep from replying 'Yes' when these caterers and store clerks would ask if I was the groom. 

Now you are probably wondering where the actually groom is. Well, for your information he is "busy." And by busy I mean he goes out with his friends or he claims his coach has too much for him to do.  You see, he is a soccer player. He isn't even the star of the team but he still acts like it. He has always acted like it. It's my own opinion but I think he is only marrying her because she has always been the beauty of the town. Long brown hair, big hazel eyes, and a healthy figure. But, that isn't all there is to her. She is gentle, kind, and she has the most amazing smile...

I'm getting carried away now. Anyway, here I am sitting in the fifth bakery of the day tasting cakes and icings. There is free cake involved so you won't find any complaints there, but Jae-Hee my sister in law skipped out on me at the last minute. Now I am alone with my first, and only, love trying to decide on the best cake for HER wedding. And on top of that, she is wearing my favorite shirt. It's a light blue color, very much like mine, so we match. The multitude of cute couple comments and congratulations on our marriage have really made my day. All these people think we look good together, they think I am marrying her. 

After the first few times, it was a mutual decision to not even try to explain our relationship was only that of friends. It became a hassle to correct everyone and after three weeks of it happening, it became normal....wait, wait, wait. I've gone off on a rant again. Back to the topic at hand. I still haven't told you her name.

She is Jung Mi Rae. Everyone in high school called her Mi-Mi or Rae. She runs her own daycare and is loved by everyone she meets. Even the ones who say they hate her, actually secretly like her. Right now she lives in an apartment in Seoul and her mother lives in Busan with her stepfather and younger brother. Her real father died of natural causes when she was in high school. He had worked and lived in Seoul which is how she went to school here with me and her fiancé. So, now that you know about her, let's get back to today.

I am standing in the line while holding confetti
I see the girl of my dream is shining like the sun beside him

After taste testing what seemed like 100 different cake and icing combinations, Mirae finally decided on a chocolate cake with buttercream icing (a very good choice if I do say so myself). From here we are going to try on dresses. Luckily for me, JaeHee noona will be meeting us there. I don't know anything about wedding dresses. I'd probably end up telling her I hated each one she tried on just because I don't want her getting married. I'm pretty sure she will be beautiful in anything she puts on. We finally reach the dress shop and noona is waiting for us.

"Finally! I was beginning to think you got lost. Let's hurry, there isn't anyone in there yet." Jaehee loops her arm with Mirae's and drags her into the store. If you ask me, she is a little too excited about the whole thing. Shouldn't she be the voice of reason in this situation? It seems more like she is the one getting married and not Mirae. As I walk into the shop a woman comes up to me and blocks my way.

"The groom isn't supposed to see the bride in her dress before the wedding. I suggest you stay in the waiting room while she tries on the dresses." I can't help but  laugh at how absurd this entire situation is. I'm not the groom! I'm a fool that can't let go of his first love!

"You're mistaken. I'm not the groom. I'm just a friend of the bride." She looks me over as if she doesn't believe me. "I know we match, that was a coincidence. It really isn't me. I'm just a chauffeur today." She still doesn't seem to believe me but she gets out of my way. I wish I were lying, too. I wish I was the groom. I sit in one of the chairs outside the dressing room I saw the two women go into and I wait. 

As I sit there, I try to imagine which dress style will look the best on her. My sister in law wore a dress that she deemed 'princess style', it definitely wasn't something that Mirae would choose. If I know her she will decide on something simple and elegant. And she will look amazing. Just then, as if she saw into my mind, she steps out of the room in a long ivory gown with a v-neck, illusion back with lace details, and tulle skirt. To be put simply, she was gorgeous. She seemed to radiate light like the sun in that dress. It fit her perfectly and I was at a loss for words. How could one person be so beautiful with so little effort? I watched her twirl as she looked in the mirror. 

Then she turned to me, asking for my opinion. But I don't know what to say. I don't want her to wear this unless she is marrying me. How could I let that man see her when she looked so beautiful? Still, she isn't going to marry me so I clear I throat and give her the answer she wants.

"You look absolutely beautiful."

Won't you marry me if I could be a rich boy
Won't you marry me if I could be very handsome
Won't you marry me if I could be a tall guy
Don't you marry him if I could be in the next life

After seeing her in that dress, I began to think back to high school. I had always wondered if she would look at me if I came from money like Hoseok did. Maybe she would marry me then. Or maybe if I were more handsome, she would give me a chance. Or maybe if I were a little taller she would see me as a man. I wasn't like her fiancé Hoseok. I was never athletic in school, I paid more attention to my studies. I was never popular with the girls because of my looks like he was, I kept my hair long and wore glasses all the time. I was the definition of a geek. I even got bullied for it by none other than Hoseok. I was even short compared to most of the other boys in my class.

Why would she even think twice about a guy like that? I was nothing compared to him in high school. I doubt anyone would even remember me if I saw them on the street. I was just the smart kid that everyone picked on and cheated off of. 

All that doesn't matter anymore. She is getting married to someone that isn't me and I am too much of a coward to do anything about it.  I guess I will spend my day complaining to my best friend Kris about it tomorrow at work. What else could I do when I knew I would never be able to tell her?

And that is what I do. I complain to Kris for two weeks about how much of a coward I am and how much of a jerk Hoseok is. Even with the engagement party tonight, I still can't convince myself to tell her. Even without a date to bring (unless you count Kris) I still have too much pride. She is still too far out of reach for me to even hope that she would ever feel the same. But, here I am again, wearing her favorite color, and fantasizing that I am the one standing next to her and not him. Kris thinks I'm insane. He always tells me that I should just say it. I should just let her know. But I can't. Or I won't. Either way I keep making myself miserable over her.

You're an idol in high school He was a quarter back
He has sold me a photocopy of your photograph

The engagement party brought up stories about high school. She had been the idol of our high school. Every girl wanted to be her and every guy wanted to be with her. At first I would pride myself on being the only one that could resist her charms. But then one day, after receiving a particularly good beating, she assisted the school nurse with tending my wounds. She was genuinely concerned over my injuries and I fell for her right there. My first love was realized while I sat there with tissues in my bloodied nose and an ice pack on my jaw. 

She was beautiful. As close to perfect as any girl could be. I found myself going to the nurse frequently so I could talk to her. I lied when I said she was just my sister in law's best friend. She is mine, too. Of course, we were the only ones who knew that in high school. I wouldn't let her talk to me outside of the nurse's office. I didn't want her to lose her popularity. We often fought over it, she would tell me I was being stubborn and that she didn't care if she lost her popularity. But I didn't want her to be hurt because she was friends with the loser in class. It wasn't worth people knowing that I was her best friend.  

Of course, I wanted to say something when Hoseok began to pursue her. He was the schools top athlete, destined to be in the national soccer league. It was only natural that they should date. The idol and the soccer star: a high school power couple. Mirae would often tell me how annoying his advances were because he was insincere.  It seemed the less interest she showed in him, the harder he tried to win her over. So, when he came to me for advice on what he should do (I was his last option, he had already taken the advice of every other guy in class) what could I do but tell him what she liked? It wasn't like I was good enough to be her boyfriend. Besides, she didn't like him, right?

Wrong. After taking my advice they began to date. Everyone in school was jealous of them. Presents were given to the new couple and every guy in class made sure to keep their distance from her. Except for maybe me. I still went to the nurse to see her. She would tell me all about her relationship. She was my junior so I would even tutor her in classes she had trouble with. Then she stopped coming. I gave it a few weeks, maybe she was busy? 

That's when I found out that she had started seeing Hoseok during that time. They would go to the rooftop and talk. She ditched me, the one who knew her secrets, the one who had been there for her when she was upset, the one who loved her. It didn't change anything. I still watched her at school, still asked the teachers how she was doing in her classes. Still gave her my notes from classes she struggled with. Still left her little anonymous notes of encouragement when something would happen to upset her. Still loved her. 

When graduation came along, I saw her again. She was there to see Hoseok. I stared at her from my seat, wishing I could somehow tell her everything. My speech was dedicated to her in a way that only she would understand. I saw her smile and that was all that I needed. It was my goodbye to her. I thought I would be able to let her go for a little while so I could become someone she wouldn't be ashamed to know or love.  

I went to college in the U.S. at the urging of my parents. I took all the classes I could each semester so I could graduate sooner. I didn't even go home during the summer. I wanted to get a job and become successful as soon as I could so I could be a better man for Mirae. I graduated after two years with a four year degree and immediately went to work for a small company. I saved my money as much as I could and that's when I had my big break. With the money I had saved, Kris and I bought a small building and started up our own entertainment company. 

Things were pretty shaky at first but we started managing talented bands and solo acts. We would find small gigs for them to build their popularity. Then, a miracle happened and we made it big. We continued to sign more and more talent and moved to a bigger building. We were successful within a year. It was something that only happens in movies. 

In that short year I heard that Mirae's father had died in the hospital after a heart attack. Jaehee told me all about it and told me that her mother barely had the money to pay for the funeral. The money was coming from Mirae's college fund, one she willingly allowed her mother to use. This was before our company had taken off but, I had money in my own account and a car that I could sell. I used that money to anonymously pay for the funeral expenses and even their bills for a year. It was the least I could do for the girl who helped me realize my own dreams. 

I made JaeHee keep me updated on how they were doing and that was when I found out that Hoseok had taken credit for my act. I realize of course, that it is partially my fault for doing it without wanting them to know but, really. He took credit for something he had no hand in. At this point he had more money than I did and the most he HAD done was buy flowers and take her family out for dinner. They say that was when Mirae really fell for him. Without being asked he had used his hard earned money to help her family. 

It was a joke. He was a joke. I wanted to tell them the truth, but I thought I would sound like I was being pretentious. I could only imagine what she would think of me, if she would have even believed me in the first place. 

My anonymous sponsorship didn't stop there, though. I continued to help them out until Mirae had finished college and started her own daycare. She didn't need my help after that. I guess I forgot to mention that we caught up after I came back to Korea. We went for lunch regularly and she told me all about her 'Daddy Long-Legs' and her relationship with Hoseok. It was like old times. And I still loved her. In fact, I loved her even more than I had when I left. 

I am standing in the line while holding confetti
I see the girl of my dream is smiling like the sun in her wedding dress

But now here I am, at her engagement party, shooting confetti rockets as everyone cheers for her imminent wedding. And she smiles that sunny smile. I love it when she does that. Even when it isn't meant for me.  I just wish it wasn't him. This is the first thing he has attended. He didn't help her with the venue, the food, or the decorations. I'm pretty sure he'd miss the wedding if he didn't have to be there. It's terrible, but I keep hoping they break up. It's my cowardice. If they break up, it gives me more time to tell her. 

Kris laughs at the expressions I make during the party. I can only imagine what murderous looks I gave Hoseok. When he finally leaves Mirae's side I take my chance to go and congratulate her. Just because I don't like her fiancé, doesn't mean I can't be a good friend. 

"Ya! Jung Mirae!" She smiles when she sees me and I am nearly floored.  Why does she do that? Does she realize how beautiful she is? She couldn't, because if she did, she wouldn't do this to me. In an instant I am engulfed in a hug that would've left me breathless, had I not been training myself to stay in control.

"Oppa! I'm so glad you came! I know you and Hoseok have never really gotten along...but I'm glad that didn't keep you from coming." I hug her tight then pull back to hold her at arms length.

"Wow....I didn't know you could clean up so well. Why would it matter whether Hoseok and I get along? I am here for you, not him. Also, I helped you pick everything here, so I couldn't really miss it could I?" I let go of her completely and smile. She smacks my arm and laughs. "I just came by to say congratulations. Kris and I have to get back to the company. There's a lot going on because of the festival next month." Why do you have to frown like that? Really, you are killing me. 

"You're going to leave so fast? But the party just started. And I have a lot to tell you." I pinch her cheeks, something she hates, and laugh.

"You can call me later. I really have to go. You look beautiful, Hoseok is a lucky guy. I hope he realizes that." She smiles at me and I notice something a little different in her eyes. They almost look....sad. It can't be. Why would she be sad? "Call me later, okay?" I kiss her cheek and leave the party after saying goodbye to her family and the others I knew.

My fantasies were really getting to me. Why would she be upset if I left early? She still had plenty of people she cared about around, including her fiancé.

Won't you marry me if I could be a rich boy
Won't you marry me if I could be very handsome
Won't you marry me if I could be a tall guy
Don't you marry him if I could be in the next life

I told you before about the person I was in high school. I had never really given much thought to my looks or my family's status at that time. But, when I left for college I told myself that I would never be that person again. 

I invested in nice clothes, a nice haircut, and contact lenses. You wouldn't believe how things changed for me. Before, girls would laugh at my appearance but after, I had many admirers. I even began to work out, which helped my case even more. I made more friends because I became more confident, and I still had time to focus on my studies. 

The only thing I couldn't change about myself was my height. But I found out that just because I wasn't as tall as Hoseok, it didn't make me any less of a man. It didn't mean she would want to marry me though. I could be rich, handsome, and tall but if she didn't love me, none of that would matter. 

Not that you care about any of that. You probably think I'm just a coward who doesn't even deserve her. Maybe you're right. Maybe I am. But I might just tell her tonight when she calls me after she leaves her party. Until then I guess I will continue to sit here and reminisce on the past. 

Maybe not... She don't remember me
Maybe not... She don't know how I feel
Maybe not... She don't even know my last name

When I came back to Korea with a dream and a plan, the first thing I wanted to do was see Mirae. So, I went to the high school and waited outside the gate for her. I had wondered what she would do when she saw me after two years, I made up little scenarios in my head.

Boy was I surprised when she walked right by me like she hadn't even seen me. It was only after I called out to her and she looked at me for a minute that she recognized me. My plans for confessing to her were crushed then and there. Maybe our friendship didn't mean as much to her as it did to me.  So, she didn't find out about my feelings that day.

There were so many maybes that ran through my head that day. Maybe she would always be too far out of reach. Maybe she wasn't who I thought she was. Maybe I would never get to tell her how I feel. Maybe not.

Won't you marry me if I could be a rich boy
Won't you marry me if I could be very handsome
Won't you marry me if I could be a tall guy

Now I just had to wait for her call. Everyone had already gone home and I was here going over papers over and over again. Everything needed to be perfect for the music festival. I don't even know how many times I've read this sentence. I guess I should stop and take a break. Coffee. I need to get coffee. 

As I walk to the vending machine, I think about her again. I must be really tired. I'm even seeing her now. Even after rubbing my eyes, she is still standing there. I need some sleep. 

"I must really be insane. Why would she be here at this time of night." There I go talking to myself out loud again. I really am crazy. My hallucination just laughed. Is that possible? Well, I guess it is seeing as I'm insane and practically a stalker. "You should go. It's hard enough to let go of my feelings without seeing you everywhere I go." When she doesn't leave I just walk back toward my office. "I really will be insane if this starts happening often." Wait, wait. What's this? There is a pair of arms around my waist.

I must be dreaming. That's the only explanation. I hope I wake up soon. It feels like I'm about to pass out. But, how could my dream be this clear. Can you feel things in your dream? Oh, she's speaking now.

"Junmyeon Oppa. Why didn't you tell me how you feel before?" I guess there is no harm in talking to her in my dream is there?

"You were already dating Hoseok. And you never showed any interest in me. I was just a coward I guess. I should've told you in high school, then I wouldn't be having this very real dream." As I turn to look at her, I think about all the times I could've confessed. "I wanted to tell you but I wanted to wait until I felt like I compared to you. Like I was good enough for you...." I look into the eyes of my dream and realize that she is, in fact very real. Oh gosh, maybe I am insane. I thought I was dreaming. What kind of idiot thinks their dreaming? Stepping away from her, I scratch the back of my head in embarrassment. "I just confessed..."

"You did. I don't know why you didn't before..." I step back when she steps forward.

"I meant to tell you...I just couldn't find the right time. Hoseok was all you talked about. I know you love him and I don't want to get in the way."

"You won't. I don't love him...I thought I did but I was just trying to forget you. You left for two years and came back as this new person. It didn't seem like you cared about me, I thought you cared more about your business. And when my father died... Hoseok was the one that was there for me and my mom...or so I thought." When she looks at me I notice the tears in her eyes and my heart breaks a little. "Unni told me. She told me that you used up your personal savings and even sold your car so you could give us money for the funeral. All these years I thought it was Hoseok. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want you to know it was me sending the money. I didn't want you to feel burdened...I didn't want you to feel like you owed me anything." I reach out and wipe away her tears. How can she still be beautiful when she's crying? Is she even human? "Gosh, you're beautiful....I said that out loud. Well, my sanity and self control have finally reached their limit." That makes her giggle. Why is she so perfect? "Since we are talking about it, I guess I should just tell you that I have loved you ever since the day I first talked to you in the nurse's office." She takes my hand in her's and I can't help but blush a little. 

"I loved you before that. You were the first boy to ignore me and the first boy to listen to me. Then you were my best friend and I didn't  want to ruin that." I must be dreaming. How else could this actually be happening? "And, I have to say, I kinda miss the glasses..." I pull her into a hug. How can this be real? The girl of my dreams just confessed to me. She feels the same. 

"Wait. What about Hoseok?" How could I forget she was engaged?

"I found him in the bathroom with the receptionist. Apparently it wasn't the first time...I should be upset. But, for some reason I'm relieved. I had been trying to think of a way to break it off...and now, I have a reason." I guess that means I do have a chance then. I have all the time in the world. She knows how I feel and she feels the same way. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life.

Don't you marry him
He's just another stupid in the next life

Now that Mirae is no longer going to marry Hoseok...that means she can marry me now, right? I know, I know. It's a little too soon for that. We both agreed that we would date for at least a year before getting engaged. Who knows, maybe we will get tired of one another. But that would never happen. I've loved her and only her for six years. I don't think my heart will waver now. 

I'm glad she isn't going to marry that jerk though. He's the type of person who would never improve even if there was a next life for us.  It may sound unfair but, it would take several tries for him to be anything other than stupid.

(AN. I really like song fics. If any of you have a request, leave a song and an idol and I will write you a little one shot. I hope to improve my writing with each story. Just leave a comment. As long as I can find english translations on the internet, any song is fine. If I'm not familiar with the idol, I will do my research. I hope you enjoyed this little story! PS.  I will not write any or . I'm just not comfortable writing it.)