-----Tita’s POV-----

I open my eyes
My head is woozy
My breath is heavy
Cold is wrapping my body
I am trembling
Everything’s black, everything’s so far away
I am in an empty world
Is this the feeling of dying?

Suddenly I feel like thousands knives are chopping my head. I am so dizzy that I can’t help but want to scream and then it suddenly gone. I feel my head becoming light, my breath flowing well and my body stopping trembling. I feel so peaceful. I feel warmness crawl from my toes up to my head. I am in a calm land. But there’s one big question in my mind.

Am I dead?

Everything’s going to be fine, right? I won’t die. I still have so many things to do. I need to say sorry to my mom, I need to meet my dad and I need to help Eunhwa. I cannot die just yet.

There’s a light that catching my eyes. Everything starts to be seen by my eyes, but everything’s still blurred. Little by little, my vision’s becoming clear. Then, I’m not dead, yet, right? I look around, still lie down here. I started to recognize the blues and blacks room theme. I realized I fell asleep in Mr. Puppyface’s room with this thick blue white stripped blanket covering me. It’s perfectly comforting me. Everything seems familiar, this room looks like my room in my home, but the differences are the color. This room has blue and black and my room has blue and white.

I turn my head to the right and surprised to find a guy –that I think– named Donghae is sleeping on a chair beside my bed with head on top of my bed. I’m backing away. What is he doing here? Is he taking care of me all night? Where’re the others? Where’s Mr Puppyface? Why there’s only this guy here?

Hmm~ they should have schedules. Well, they’re all superstars, right? I’m watching his sleeping face, really calm and peaceful. I guess he’s a nice guy, nee? Nah, I better not wake him up. I get out of my bed. I feel better now. I need to take a bath, I smell bad. Hhhh. Everything feels normal now, though.

*Pluk*

Huh? Something’s fall from my forehead, it’s a small and wet handkerchief. Whoa, on the left side of the bed, on top of small table there are many drugs! What kind of drugs are these? I read one of its names, fever palliative. Wait, did I faint again? Don’t tell me I really caught cold last night. I’m not really hate medication, though. Umm, it’s hard to admit, but I actually like to be sick, I think it because I’ll get attention I never get when I’m in perfect condition. But I shouldn’t like sick. It makes people around me troubled. Eh, anyway, it’s really strange. I’ve never been fainted before, but these days I’ve fainted twice. Now I knew how exactly it feels, “not good at all”.
I’m becoming weak, huh? *sigh*

I was going to the bathroom when I’m passing a human-size mirror that perfectly stands beside the black closet. Wait, something is strange. I take three steps back and here I am in front of the mirror, looking at my body reflection. Hmm, I am all messy~

I tidy my hair. Hey, I am in over-sized shirt and shorts. Nice, it’s looking cute on me~ <3

Hmmm~

!!!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” I am screaming on top of my lungs.

FOR THE SAKE OF GOD! HOW COULD MY CLOTHES CHANGED??? But doesn’t everyone in this dorm are guy?? Then-then who was the one who changed my clothes??? How is this? Why is this happening to me? Who has done this? Do they see my~ ANDWAEEEEEEEE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

I keep screaming inside of my head as I look at my feet. I feel like I am going to cry. Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder, I see Donghae-sshi stand behind me from the mirror. His expression is really scary. It feels like he’s going to stab me from behind. I become scared. “My sister, Alex, is the one who changed your clothes.” I hear him say so. I am so relieve as if all my burdens have been lifted. Guess, it may just his after-sleep look, nee? Well, well, he’s really is a nice guy.

I’m about to thank him when he said, “Hhhh. You’re really troublesome, you know? Stop making everyone tired because of you. Why do you have to come here? Why don’t you just go when you feel better yesterday? You thick-faced! Don’t you feel embarrassing that you’re staying here? In this all-guy dorm? Don’t you feel bad that you make others troubled? Huh?! Doesn’t your mom teach you a proper attitude?? Get out from here now before it’s too late. You’re going to see what you will see in hell. I’ll show it for you.” He is smirking when looking at my scared face.

My smile is faded away as his words are stabbing, throbbing my heart with no rest. Wh-what? What did he say?

I heard heavy steps and loud bang of the closed door.

My body is trembling. I am afraid. Tears fall from my eyes. What have I done? I stand still, can’t move even for an inch. I slip off to the floor. What do I do? What do I do? I keep asking myself. I-I think I’ve done the biggest mistake in my life.

***

I have to get out from here. I have to, right now! I keep thinking as I wash my face, change my clothes and pack all of my things. I think about what I’ve exactly done to him so that he treats me like that. Spit it all out with words that hurt like hell. I was just met him, right? Do I met him somewhere before and make him get mad at me without I realized it? It’s impossible. But everything he said is absolutely right!

Why I’m really stupid to think that maybe I can live here for a while. For a while what? When do I am going to get out from here? Forever? OH MY GOD HOW FOOL I AM!!! I have to get out from here, now! I don’t care if I become a bum or die on the street. I just have to go! I am a thick-faced girl. Everybody must have thinking the same way as he did. OH MY GOD! HOW STUPID I AM TO THINK THAT I COULD LIVE IN HERE AND BECOME THEIR FAMILY! IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN! GET UP!

*Life couldn’t get better. Nan nol pume ango nara. Purun darul hyanghe nara~~~*

The sound’s waking me up from my deep thought. What’s that? I am searching through the room and found a phone ringing on top of the black study desk. Whose phone is it? I pick it and see Mr Puppyface name on it.

Huh? I swear it says ‘Mr Puppyface’. I better pick it up, right?

“Yoboseyo?”

“Yah! You’re finally waking up. You scared me to death, you know?”

“ I-I am so sorry. Eh, whose phone is it?”

“Yah, don’t be so serious. It’s strange, you know? Oh, this phone’s yours from now on. It’s my old phone, you can use it. You know how hyungs lecturing me to ask for permission if I am going out. Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, hyungs and I can breathe easily because we can contact you from now on wherever you are. You are our family, right?”

“N-nee.” I am their family? What a big lie!

“You’ve met Donghae hyung? He’s such a nice guy, isn’t he? Because he’s the only one that doesn’t have any schedule today, he said he feel a little sick. But hey, he’s really nice to agree to take care of you while we work.” Yeah, he’s really nice, really smart in choosing words.

“Yeah. I’ve met him and y-yeah he’s uh- nice. Uhh, by the way I think I am going to g-get out from your dorm.” I think it’s not a right attitude to leave without say good bye?

~silences~

“Okay. Wait, WHAT? WHY?”

“I just have to go out from here. I am so sorry, thanks for everything. Say my goodbye to your hyungs.”

“Whoa! Wait, wait! Just wait a minute! Why you’re going to leave so suddenly? Where are you going to stay, Tita? You can be dead in the street. Just wait, I’ll go home soon with hyungs. Promise me you won’t go anywhere. Let’s talk about it first, okay?”

Ups, I shouldn’t tell him, now he’s gonna stop me. What should I say? Okay, if I tell him that I am going to leave no matter what and don’t wanna discuss it with him, he would rushes to home and I would lose the chance to leave. No no no, it shouldn’t be happen. I’ll just –gulp- lie to him.

“O-okay, maybe you’re right. Maybe I just a little dizzy from the cold.”

“That’s good. Be a good girl and wait for us okay? See you later.”

“See you.” I put down the phone. I should leave now. It’s now or never.

I run, grab my bag and go out.

-----Kibum’s POV-----

What happens with Tita? Really, I don’t understand. She wasn’t like that yesterday. Why she want to leave so suddenly? Something is definitely wrong. I’ll go talk to hyungs.

“Come on! It’s your time, one minute to go!” The crew shouting at hyungs and I, want us to get on the stage for a talk show. I run to hyungs and walk to the stage. I hear claps and girls voices yelling our names. We sit on the sofa and the hosts keep talking about something I can’t concentrate to. Hyungs shout our usual introducing and I follow them. The hosts are talking and laughing with hyungs but my mind is just in somewhere else. I keep thinking about Tita. There’s no way she would keep staying at home like what I told her to. Oh my god. What is wrong with her?

“Eh, Kibum-shi? Kibum-shi?” I hear someone is calling me.

“Ah, nee?” I turn to face the host and fake a smile.

“I’ve been calling you for many times. You seem to be in another world. Thinking about someone? Hahaha.”

“Ah, anyio, anyio. I may still have jetlag. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, haha, it must be hard for you, you just arrived but have to work now.”

“Anyio, it’s okay. I love my job.”

“I was asking you about when you arrive in Korea. So, when did you arrive, Kibum-shi?”

“I arrived in Korea two days ago and go to the concert directly. I couldn’t wait to meet hyungs.”

“Ooh, you heard him, ELFs. He came to the concert; you have missed the chance to see him.”

***

“Hyung!” I go near them after we change to our casual clothes.

They look at me. “What’s wrong?” Leeteuk hyung asked me.

“You’re strange today, you realize that?” Heechul hyung added.

“It’s about Tita, hyungs. You all know she was sick this morning right. Before the talk show, I make a call to check her condition.”

“Oh, that’s why.” Yesung hyung said.

“Husssh! Listen to him.” Heechul hyung is telling Yesung hyung to stop meddling and listen.

“When I call her, she sounds like something wrong had happened. And I was right because she tell me she wants to leave the dorm. I calmed her down and told her to wait at home and discuss it with us later. But, she possibly wouldn’t wait at home like what I told her to do, right?”

“Why do we have to care with that girl? She’s nobody, right? We have nothing to do with her. Just let her go, let her do what she want. It may be the best decision; we don’t have to feed her anymore. Everything she’s doing is just eat, get sick and makes you all worry. We don’t need her!” Sungmin hyung said.

Everybody seems in a deep thought no one saying anything.

“What is wrong with hyungs? Don’t you all understand how it is my fault that she’s in this way?” I said.

“It’s not your fault; it’s her problem, even if you weren’t there. It would be that way anyway.” Yesung said.

“Where’s your humanity? She could be dead out there!” My anger started to crawl.

“Hey, hey. Stop it, okay? It’s not anyone fault. It may be her fault, but did your heart petrified?? So, you all want to see her die? That’s what you want? Huh?!” Leeteuk hyung said.

Everybody in silence, they lowered their head like they admitted that Leeteuk hyung is right. But still feel everything’s wrong with her around. I don’t understand why they’re being like this. I thought they have accepted her.

“It’s enough, hurry. Let’s go to the dorm, we don’t have any schedule after this right?” Siwon hyung said.

“Sungmin, Yesung, Heechul and I still have schedules. You go home first, okay? Don’t forget to inform us of what happen later.” Leeteuk hyung said.

I look at Kyuhyun, Siwon hyung, Ryeowook hyung, Eunhyuk hyung and nodded.

***

I open our dorm’s door and rushes inside. Searching in every room but find no one at home except Donghae that was cleaning the ramen cup in the dining room.

“Hyung, did you see Tita?” I asked him.

“Huh? I don’t know, isn’t she in your room?” he answered flat as he wipe the table.

“She’s trying to leave this dorm and live on her own while she doesn’t know anything, hyung. You should have stopped her.”

“But I didn’t know she’s gone.” He increased his pitch. He calmed down and continued, “And so what if she went out. It’s not like she’s a five year old girl. She won’t die. She’ll find her way home. She may have realized what she was doing – staying at all-guy dorm and ashamed of herself. Just let her be.” And just like that he went to his room, leaving me and hyungs in silences.

Really. What’s wrong with everyone??????

I saw something strange about him. It’s like the light I usually found in his eyes is gone. It’s like his heart already turned off. He’s not the usually Donghae hyung.

Aargh! What am I going to do?

“Do you want us to help you find her?” Siwon hyung asked.

“But it’s almost 3 hours after the call. She must have gone far. Where should we search her?” Eunhyuk hyung said as he sat on the dinning chair.

“I can’t imagine what happen to her, now. It’s going to rain soon, too.” Ryeowook hyung said as he open the window’s curtain, watching the grey clouds.

We’re all in silence, not knowing what to do.

“Let’s go, Kyuhyun!” I grabbed his hand and pull him, leave other hyungs in worried.

“Wh-why me?” Kyuhyun asked but he wasn’t trying to escapefrom me. I went with Kyuhyun only, beside because we will get recognized by our fans if everyone is coming too, Kyuhyun have less job today than hyungs, so he isn’t really tired.

“I know where she’s going.” I tell him as I pick an umbrella and get out of the dorm.