Flight KR 752 bound for Incheon...... now boarding, read the red dots flashed on a black screen of the NY airport. I am so busy watching the memories of him flash behind my eyes, even the busy airport couldn't interrupt my reminiscing. Unsure of where that figure of him is coming from, a shallow sigh escaped my mouth as I gave my thought a time or two to make the final decision– should I board on that plane and witness him getting tied up with the luckiest girl in the history of milky way? or to turn on my heels, leave the airport and continue my life, ignoring the invitation.

      The invitation I got  two days ago. The last thing I wished to be knocking on my mailbox, wedding invitation. Electricity bills, telephone bills, apartment rentals, all of these would've been acceptable but an invitation is too much. Moving my gaze back at that letter, I held it losely hoping that a strong hurricane will blow it off my hand so I can have the reason not to show up. Bitter. Yes I am. I love him and still hoping that he does too. One percent of me still holds on to the hope that he'll call off the wedding immediately after it was postponed, but no. That one percent eventually negated, evidenced by this invitation.

The honour of your noble presence is requested

at the marriage of 

ZHANG YIXING

and

       It was legibly typed in blue cursive font like it was made full of love, much to say the obvious, and a couple dove clipart sealed on the envelope represents their union. Though different forces of nature drive me to pull out the entire card out of its case, my hand defied the nature for that matter, managing to read halfway and stopped at the short space after his name. It was undeniable, Zhang Yixing's marriage.

♫ music: JOJO - Fly Away ♫

      A MONTH AGO

      It was coincidence that brought them together at the least expected place. Ahn Jae in, as wedding coordinator, visited a church up the hill for her clients. For 2 years she's been away from her hometown, Korea, for some reasons. Moving on is one of that. She was on the process of moving on, living peacefully and just busy herself with her dream job when all those efforts were thrown into nothing as he appeared in front of her without any warnings. She saw him. He saw her. Meeting him was the last thing she ever hoped for, however, fate outsmarted her, it may be the last thing but it's still part of the list. Zhang Yixing was on that very same church.

       He wasn't what he looked like two years ago. He was handsomest out of the handsomest if that word even exist and he has this vibrant smile spreading all over his face which makes it even harder for Jae in to hold back the emotion dwelling within the corners of her eyes. But the very question that alarmed her head was not 'Why is he here?' nor it is 'What is he doing here?', no. She didn't care of his reasons for being there, she cared more on 'of all the people she could possibly meet, Why does it have to be him? Why him?'.

       They intently exchange gazes like it could magically lighten those idle candles on the church candle stand. It was meaningful but they weren't able to decipher. Jae in inwardly cleared finding the guts to talk to him and flashed a contradicting smile.

       'It's been a while' she firmly stated without looking at the other side of the pew.

       'Ye~ It's been a while. How have you been?' he retorted with a slight breathing.

      'I'm good, at least' the awkward ambience kept on building up between their short replies. It was one question, one word conversation, afraid that Jae in might not be able to contain herself and unleash the words which is not supposed to be said, so she rather stick on the minimal words. From the very beginning she knew that she doesn't have the right to talk about her feelings eventhough yixing already knew about it. Specially now that Yixing is married, or so she thought.

        'You have clients?' she nodded, factual. 'You?'

        'Doctor's convention. I just happened to pass by here and you suddenly crossed my mind' he chuckled with all gladness, lowering his head.

        She smiled eventhough her heart's ripping apart. Dead silence. Dead awkward silence.

        'ahmmm~ so how's your wife?' It was a bit eerie to mention the last word of the phrase but she guessed it was the right term for it. There was an unreadable expression in his face: flattered?, surprised?, indifferent?, confused?, flustered? only him knows.

      'We're not married' his brief answer activated those dead cells from her heart. No jae in, maybe it was postponed for some reasons. Don't get your hopes up just like that. She scolded the limerence that just won't leave the hell out of her.  She looked away. Soon thereafter, church-goers flooded the once was empty church.

         'I have to go. I still have some things to organize for the wedding' It was a good excuse for her, the church-goers. She wanted to escape from his scent, from his gaze, from him and prevent herself from falling in love even deeper than the abyss.

          'It was good meeting you. Hope to see you again' She bowed shortly. Her words were like a glass of water, half-filled like her hopes, half-empty like her lies to herself. Of course she was hoping not to see him again. The pain she's feeling right now is even more unbearable. But she was lying to herself again.

         'I'll expect you to attend my wedding' his voice faded in the middle of the crowd. He tried to follow her to make sure she heard the invitation but she was gone like a feather being blown into the air.

***********************************************

        I heaved a weary sigh before I decided to pull myself up off the cold metallic seat of the waiting area. I stood up garnering all the courage left in me that I'll be needing and boarded the plane as the announcer called out for the passengers for the last time. I finally decided to attend the wedding for various reasons: One, It would be a waste not to wear such wonderful package sent (a laced dress). It would be inappropriate to send it back without stating the reason for not attending and I couldn't think of any excuses yet as of the moment. Two, because I still have respect for him and for myself and respect for my feelings. It would be unfair for him, all he wanted is for me to attend but because of my bitterness it wouldn't be an excuse. Finally, because I have to restart the moving on process. The last wave of my feelings, I wanted to leave it all on his wedding and attach all the memories I have with him together with my congratulatory word for them.  I know it would take years and years to mend a torn-up heart but one thing's for sure, It'll heal... if you chose to. 

     FLASHBACK

          Jae in got herself a glass of wine after making sure that the reception was all according to her plan. Her eyes wanders from the corner down to her clients, Luhan and Nara. Satisfied, she rewarded herself a smile at another success and raised her glass as the newly wedded couple waved at her. How she wished she could have a husband as sweet and handsome like Luhan, not that she likes him, just that she wished for a man like him.

         Throughout the entire time of looking around from the corner, her eyes landed on a certain someone whom she didn't noticed earlier at the wedding. She was starstrucked. Too mesmerized by him, she didn't notice him walk towards her and the next thing she remembered, he was there, waving a palm on her face.

      'Oh glad you're still on earth' he cackled as she got ahold of herself. 'You know, spacing out is a symptom of boredom'  he adds. She simply smiled at the embarrassment and took a long swig on her wine as though it'll help prevent her face from getting flushed. In all honesty, he was way to gorgeous in closer perspective than he was few feet away and the fact that she almost ran out of words eventhough she haven't even said any is something far from normal. In the first place, why would he even talk to me? I didn't even do something to hi.... oh wait I did do something to him. Does staring at him count?

        Hand outstretched, he took the initiative to introduce himself 'I'm Zhang Yixing. I'm a friend of Luhan. I hope you didn't mind I interrupted your little fantasy about me' Damn it! Why do you have a dimple over there?? The very first smile from him took her minutes to get it over with.

       'Fantas..' Okay he was a bit conceited but since he's not someone known to her she let it slide for the moment.

      'heh~ It's fine. Don't worry about it. I'm Ahn jae in' she paused. A little hesitant whether or not it is impolite to ask but she did anyway. 'I uh~ didn't catch you at the wedding ceremony earlier... or were you there but...?'

       'Oh yeah, I didn't get to attend earlier because i had surgery to finish'. the ! he's a surgeon? Why in the world is he handsome  and particularly intelligent?

        'wow! A surgeon. Right! of course saving lives is the priority but it's still a good thing that you're able to join in the reception. If I wasn't a coordinator, I would have been a surgeon too'  she said and they both chuckled for I don't know what reason. Seriously, no reason at all. They just chuckle because they felt like it.

         From then on, they became good friends. They would go-see some places together: him, for their hospital's community outreach and her, for wedding locations. They would bicker at small things like taking a cab or subway to get to their destinations or whether to eat at a seafood restaurant or just ramen for lunch but at the end of the day still manages to keep their friendship in good terms. He would share his experiences in the hospital. She would story tale her successful wedding events. There were some romantic moments as well like being mistaken the two of them as couples.But the interesting part is... He got fond of her. She got fond of him. She thought for the very least that that was it. That he was the man she was gonna spend her forever with but happy endings only happen in fairytales. When she learned about his  fiance, all her world collapsed. His fiance, Kwon Da eun.

            After a week of being distant with Yixing, Jae in received a call from Luhan saying that Yixing will get married soon and that Yixing is requesting her to be their wedding coordinator. That request was denied. How could a guy, aware of a girl's feelings towards him, ask her to be HIS wedding coordinator? Did he thought it was that easy?  Was he doing it on purpose? Or was he showing off how sweet they could be? For some reasons, she started to despise him.

           She was somehow glad upon hearing the postponement of his wedding with Da eun. This was because Da eun has to attend some important business in France. She thought of getting in touch with Yixing once again. She thought maybe she could snatch his feelings away from Da eun. But when she met him at the church, hearing an invitation from Yixing himself, she lost it, her hope.

***********************************************

           The flight back to Seoul didn't seem to take forever. It's as if the plane went on a time warp and shortened the travel so I would arrive faster despite the distance of Korea and New York. Too bad I can't turn back time and let my travel be longer than ever. But eventhough the flight felt short, in reality, It was an hour later than the ETA. I luggishly changed on the laced dress and went out. The chauffeur waving his placard on the airport made me feel like I was some kind of MAFIA daughter, getting all that VIP treatment and led me to a white opirus car, like the one the president in korea rode on. Is it his way of apologizing? If it is then I'd take it, but this will be the very last time. It was painful, my feeling. But I tried to be strong because it's only a quarter of what I'm about to see in a moment. On second thought, I wouldn't be able to go to his wedding because I didn't get to finish reading his invitation, at least this car would lead me there.

          I was brought to a garden. It was a labyrinth, a maze, a puzzle, whatever you call it, confusing like him. I stood at the very foot of that puzzle and told myself that this will be the last game I'm gonna play. Unconsciously holding both my breath and my tears as I was taking the path. The location was romantic, it was how I want my wedding to be like. The sad part is that I could only say 'If only it was my wedding'. I was like the ball in ball-in-a-maze game, but unlike the ball in the game, it was easier for me to reach the finish line. The red carpet blanketed on the grass-walled passage led me to it. I spotted the decorative entrance and I could hear a sweet wedding music from where I was standing. I bit my lower lip and prepared my entirety for the scene I'm gonna witness. I have reached the finish line.

           Everyone stood up the moment I entered the flowery entrance. There were his 11 friends and their girlfriends slash wives. My senior consultant was there, as well as some couple in which wedding I coordinated. The guests' seats were in a heart-arranged, with the gazebo at the very point of the heart and a music fountain resides behind the gazebo. My eyes glistened at the wonderful scene. It was only in movies, scenes like this, but a question raised my head.. where is the bride? Why hasn't the wedding started? Arriving an hour late, I should be attending the reception at this moment, not the wedding. Yixing walked to where I was.

     'You look gorgeous' he grant me the best smile I've seen so far. He was way too gorgeous than I look right now. I'm speechless

      'Chukahae~ but where is your bride?' at least my brain managed its composure but I wasn't looking straight at him.

     'My bride? She's an hour late.... but at long last she's here. Standing in front of me' he proudly announced. He was able to earn my gaze and his eyes caught it. I was flustered and bricked. My mouth wanted to curse him for lighting up the resting hope in me. It wasn't a good prank to begin with. I was angry at him because he's making my heart beat off its rate. Instead I sent him my angry stare.

     'Ahn Jae in, last month when we saw each other at the church, It wasn't just coincidence. I intendedly went there because I knew you were going there. Da eun personally called off the wedding and made her business in France as an excuse, that was because she knew that someone has taken my over my heart. Jae in~ah the very first wedding I attended, I was a ring bearer. There I met a flower girl, the very first girl friend that I had. She was really noisy, mischievous, talkative and she kept on running around even if the wedding is on-going but when I was able to talk to her, I learned she was a huge dreamer. She told me that when  grow up she wanted to organize big weddings and that she wanted to have her very own wedding, like the one we attended' he paused, giving himself a chance to giggle at his reminiscing.

     'I could still remember how that flower girl got wounded after she tripped when I chased her with a frog on my hand. I was regretful and told her that I will heal that wound. That was then when I decided I wanted to be a doctor. I gave her a lavender flower as collateral to that promise. She also made me promise that when we grow up, we would be at each others wedding. Now, we are on each others' wedding.'

       He was evil, I tell you. Melting my heart so he could mold it into gold bars. After all this time, the person I was waiting for was him. That ring bearer who left a scar on my knee was him. But how did he...

     'I learned that the girl was you a month after you left Seoul. When I visited your office, I saw our picture, as ring bearer and flower girl, on your table. I was worried I wouldn't be able to see you again after that time. You know, the world is too big and I don't have my entire time to search for you because I have lives to save. I was thankful to Luhan who helped me find you and to your senior consultant who prepared all this. Jae in~ah, I'm here to fulfill my promise, to be at your wedding, even more than that... to be your husband. I want to marry you. I have to. I need to.' It was on cue that everything went clear. My mind, my heart, my vision. It's as clear as seeing my reflection on a still water.

       Tears roll down my cheeks, overwhelmed. I was, at last, the luckiest girl in the history of milky way.

     'I can't marry you' I said straightforward. He got stoned at my reply. His face grew dull, like his world went backwards. Murmurs pass around the place that Luhan has to walk over us so as to get a clearer view of the situation.

      'Jae in~ah' Luhan mentioned. His voice was asking me indirectly as to why i'm doing this. Why I'm making things complicated when my dream is actually right in front of my door knocking, that all I have left to do is to open it.

      Yixing remained silent but his eyes were talking to me in millions of language I couldn't understand because my brain only deciphers morse code. He lowered his head for a minute and raised it back up nodding after a minute with a sniffing like as if he cried but with no tears running. He faked a smile.

       'I understand. Thank you for..' I didn't let him finish and kissed him

      'I can't marry you...with a dress like this and a worn out make up? I look like snow white's witch. See my eyeliner's all messed up because you made me cry earlier. I should at least look like a princess because you look like a prince with that white suit.' I mocked after we broke the short kiss. I contained my laughter at their reactions when I said I can't marry Yixing but that's the truth, he looked like a prince while I looked like a miserable antagonist in a movie.

       He chuckled and pulled me to a tight hug 'Paboya! I'm not marrying your dress, I'm marrying you. Even if you're when you walk to the altar, I'd still marry you but I'd prefer you don't do that, the part'

         I pushed him away and hit his chest lightly and laughed at his tease before hugging him once again.

      'You know I personally chose your dress because I want you to show your beauty as you are. You don't have to wear those extravagant, fancy, heavy bridal gowns because that doesn't measure one's love. You'll only struggle and feel discomfort by it. But if you really want to wear those extravagant, fancy, heavy bridal gowns, you'd have to marry me again. BUT...today let's get married' he said offering his hand as . Together we walked down the gazebo where the priest is ready to give his blessing.

♫ music: 2Young-Serendipity ♫

The honour of your noble presence is requested

at the marriage of 

ZHANG YIXING

and

AHN JAE IN

In the long-run of life, you will encounter hurdles

If you don't pass through the hurdles, you won't get to the next smooth ground

If you keep turning your back from it, you won't be able to move on and remain on the withered ground

Have the courage to pass over those hurdles, a smoother path awaits after it.

If Jae in became a coward and didn't went to the wedding, she would've remained single and miserable. She would've been regretting her entire life and remains wishing she should've went there.  But she learned to face the painful things in front of her and now getting the benefits of her courage. Time forgone can never be undone.

Thank you for reading ^^