word count: 5356
italic+grey means flashback

Jongin tried to smile, as if he wouldn't care. The members shouldn't notice his screaming thoughts of Kyungsoo. Obviously, everyone worried and the atmosphere was tense, but Jongin was dead certain that his headache was incredibly painful. He never thought that it is possible to miss someone this much. Kyungsoo has always been just a friend to him. Sure, it's normal to miss a friend that is gone. But a throbbing temple isn't commonplace.

Jongin was aware of Kyungsoo's feelings for him. The older boy had to nearly endure the friendship, since he was totally in love with Jongin. Unfortunately, this love was one-sided and apparently forever unrequited. Back then when Kyungsoo confessed, Jongin started to avoid him. How frigid had he been? He was just too shocked to deal with it in a mature way. They both knew that it would never ever be the same again.

However, Kyungsoo apologized every day, every time he saw Jongin. He begged him to forget his confession. Eventually, Jongin agreed because he felt a pang of conscience and simply because he was indescribable sorry. Kyungsoo was probably convinced that Jongin would forget it. What a pity that Jongin would never lose his remembrance.

Close by Kyungsoo, Jongin started getting along with the awkward mood between them. Though he felt weird sometimes, he enjoyed the warmth of the older's aura and it was not once uncomfortable. In fact, the former loner got used to Kyungsoo's constant companionship and took it for granted. But Jongin never wanted to admit that there is a chance that he might as well like Kyungsoo. They were just friends and thus, there was at least one whose heart was aching the whole time they were together. Jongin realized everything way too late. Only when Kyungsoo was gone, Jongin realized how much he liked, and above all things needed him. Only when he had lost the seemingly most important thing in his life, his eyes began to open. Now he wandered around like a blind man who could suddenly see again. He couldn't deal with the new world that had opened up in front of him. His heart lost his rhythm. He was no longer responsive.

“Kai, have you seen Kyungsoo lately?“ Chanyeol leans against the doorframe. Currently, Jongin is busy tidying his room, so he forgets to answer.
"Is that a no?“
"No, but-“ Chanyeol cuts him off by turning on his heels and running towards the kitchen. Jongin's chest rises and falls unnaturally fast. It means that his thoughts revolve around Kyungsoo again. Should he tell him what's crossing his mind? No. Some day these strange feelings will vanish. Jongin doesn't want to regret anything. Maybe the arguing voices in his head mean nothing. He isn't familiar with love. Perhaps it's all just an illusion.

Sighing, Jongin stuffs the last shirt in his wardrobe before he casually follows Chanyeol.
Joonmyun, Sehun, Baekhyun and Chanyeol are standing behind the bar, discussing and gesturing intensively. Jongin wonders if something relevant has happened. Or if they are debating because of kid stuff again, like they do for usual. Jongin approaches them to eavesdrop.

"And he really knows nothing at all?" A clear voice asks, which matches with Joonmyun's.
"Nope." Chanyeol.
"What the hell should we do now?" Even the leader is clueless.
"I have no idea, hyung." Chanyeol's almost sobbing. The situation seems to be really serious.
"Baekhyun, do you have something to say?“ Jongin hears nothing, so Baekhyun probably shakes his head.
"Suho, I'm slightly afraid..“ Jongin can identify the lisp, which belongs to Sehun.
"We all worry, Sehunnie. Everything will be all right.“
"Do you promise?“
Joonmyun groans. It looks like he can't promise it. Indeed, it's a serious matter. But what exactly happened? Did something occur that involve Kyungsoo? Jongin's heart skips a beat. The lump in his throat is getting more and more unbearable. Where the is Kyungsoo, goddamn?!

Finally, the curiosity outweighs and Jongin goes into the kitchen. Four faces faces, no facial expressions. Everything seems empty.
“Er, what's going on?“ Hectically, Jongin tries not to sound scared, but his trachea is abruptly tight. He doesn't have enough air to speak at full power.
"Kyungsoo disappeared.“ Chanyeol can't bite back a small, sparkling teardrop. Baekhyun pulls the giant to his chest and wraps his arms around him.
Jongin grits his teeth. His face cramps up. He tells himself that he would have to look as if it's indifferent for him.

“Maybe he's visiting relatives or something like that.“ Jongin mutters softly.
“No, he just wanted to go to the bakery on the other side of the street. But he is away for more than four hours.” The lump becomes even larger. So large that Jongin can't control himself anymore.
“Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why only after four ing hours?!“ Jongin screams, while his eyes are burning.
“Jongin, calm down!“ Sehun wants to persuade his angry friend, but at the moment Jongin doesn't care about his so-called image. Jongin has always been the type of person whose chin is up. Who never stood up against a member. Not obtrusive, not unobtrusive. But right now, the accrued rage blurts out and pushes the damn lump aside.
"I won't calm down! Shut your face, man!“ Jongin feels how liquid oozes out of the corners of his eyes. The members gaze at him with surprise. They've never experienced this side of Kim Jongin.

After all, it's about Kyungsoo. The guy, Jongin has irrevocably and unconditionally fallen for.

Since three weeks he was gone, gone from their lives. Every day they walked through each alley, scanned every possible place, but they never found him. They called his parents, his grandparents, aunts, uncles. No one was up to date. Even the police did not know what to do. They wanted to place ads in the newspaper or make a report on TV, but SM Entertainment wanted to clarify the incident without the publicity. It would've costed too much money and it would've caused a turmoil.It was like running in circles. No sign of life. It was as if he was wiped out of this world.
As if he had never existed...

His legs ached. Actually, every part of his body ached because of the ropes.
Many scratches, open wounds and fresh blood adorned Kyungsoo's body. He couldn't see them, but they burned like hell. He didn't know how long he was able to survive. Trembling, he gasped and tried to regurgitate saliva to moisten his mouth cavity, but he didn't succeed. The more he moved, the higher was the pain. Kyungsoo could hardly breathe because the strong punches on the chest had almost crunched his ribs. His entire milky and usually so intact and pure skin was probably covered with bruises and red thin strips. His wrists were slit open by the brittle metal that cut them sharply every time he moved. Although he was frightened, he kept his eyes wide open. However, it was dark. Dark? No, it was ebon. He was in a black room, whose floor was disgusting cold and damp. Nowhere was a chance for light to get through to him.

Kyungsoo heard a regular drop sound throughout the whole time. How long had he been here? A day? A week? A month? A year? He had lost his sense of time. No, he had lost all his senses. He couldn't think straight. Too emaciated to use his head.

Kyungsoo let the world pass by. Anyway, if the world still existed! He did not know. Was this the world he knew?

At first Kyungsoo had struggled to scream for help but he gave up soon. It was pointless. He would die here, on the edge of a cruel torment. Nobody would notice something. Seriously, had someone even noticed that he was gone? He could cry no more, no sob left his chapped lips. He was just too weak.

His head rested on his neck and he tried to breathe intently. His nose had been bleeding so it was plugged and sticky. He could only breathe with his mouth, what hurt terribly. He didn't dare to shiver, it would only hurt more.

Where the was he? And much more important: why?

Jongin lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He refused to believe it. Kyungsoo still wasn't back. Would he ever see the older one again? Because of this dumb thought, he slapped himself. He screwed up his eyes and told himself to sleep, but it just didn't work.

Absolutely like the day before and the day before. Overtired and absent-minded, Jongin lay on his bed and gazed into space day by day. Now the others weren't only worried about Kyungsoo, but about him as well. But he didn't matter at the moment! Kyungsoo should finally come back so the younger could tell him how sorry he was. Jongin would embrace and squeeze him wailing. He would never let him go. Everyday Jongin thought about this scenario and pictured how beautiful it would be to hug Kyungsoo. He even planned every single word of his confession.

But he didn't come back. Jongin felt horrible. His heart remained silent, filled with eternal melancholy. Nothing productive was done.

Maybe he left of his own free will. Maybe he couldn't stand being just a friend anymore. If this was the case, it would be Jongin's fault.
A severe, inner pain flashed through his brain - it was his fault. Kyungsoo ran off because he rejected him.

Jongin had to do something. He had to retrieve Kyungsoo. It was his duty. Destiny wanted him to take action. Hence he could confess his true feelings, hence they could get back together and hence Jongin would be able to give Kyungsoo everything back what Jongin had received.

But how? Jongin didn't know where to start. It was forbidden to go public. Where could Kyungsoo be? He rummaged in his memory. Had Kyungsoo ever told him something about a favorite place? Probably. And Jongin would've answered with a 'yeah yeah' without paying attention. Why was he so damn stupid?

If only he listened to him once...

If only he tried to understand him once...

Like a child, Kyungsoo had always followed him, clinging to Jongin. The older was happy to be with Jongin's humble self and told him his deep thoughts. He shared his life story with him. But Jongin ignored him, seeming to be annoyed.

Suddenly, Jongin found himself regretting his behavior. Too late, everything was too late. If Jongin adhered to Kyungsoo since beginning he would cuddle with him on this bed now instead of being alone. Kyungsoo would whisper how lucky he is. And Jongin would smile and think the same thing. What's the use of what-if questions? They are burdensome.
"Kyungsoo” Jongin called out. “As soon as you're here again, I'll be by your side. I'll give you all the love you gave me back and so much more.“ For Kyungsoo's sake, it was the fairest thing to do.

Jongin sighed and got up with the ambition to find Kyungsoo. He wanted to everything in his power. Everything possible on this world. Regardless of how far he had to go for it, maybe he even had to travel abroad. Kyungsoo had relatives in the USA. It might be that he had escaped to them. 

Jongin was about to turn on his computer to look for air tickets, when he heard a loud scream from the lounge which came from Chanyeol. Jongin jolted up and ran, supporting his balance on the wall falteringly, following the noise.

“What's up?” Jongin asked and expected peanuts again. Anyhow, Chanyeol was shaking like . Paralyzed, his eyes looked at a small note. He began to sob, like frequently. News about Kyungsoo? Good ones or bad ones? That was Jongin's first thought.
Kyungsoo was always his first thought.

The giant couldn't speak so he threw the slip of paper away and crumpled on the floor. Cautiously Jongin picked it up and began reading quietly.  And what he read made the ground fall out from underneath his feet.

After the address had burned into his brain, he quickly rumpled the paper with the dreadful message and threw it in a corner somewhere. Do you call that a joke? That's a bad one.

Jongin snorted, no longer minding Chanyeol who squatted on the tiles. He went to the basement straightaway. What for? To begin to cry. Down here, nobody heard his squalls. The thick walls dampened the piercing sounds. Acidly, Jongin kicked the mats that were left from the last training. Then he flopped himself, still shouting like crazy while trying to pull out his hair.

We have kidnapped him.

"No!"

We are paining him.

"Hell no!"

We will kill him.

"Kyungsoo, no .." Jongin's cries fell silent. What should he do? He had to save his beloved friend. 
Well, Kyungsoo had been forced to leave. But yet, Jongin felt guilty. He could've taken care of Kyungsoo. He could've protected him. Reproaches hailed down. What befell Kyungsoo? It hurt. Jongin's chest hurt, literally. His fingers dug into his shirt and his nails pierced into his skin until the inner pain was flimsy covered.

"If he's dead ..."Jongin whispered with glassy eyes. Even if there was no echo, it echoed through the room. And it couldn't have been any louder. The image of a dying Kyungsoo went through his mind- again and again and again. Couldn't it stop? Kyungsoo mustn't die. Never. Jongin couldn't live with this guilt. He couldn't live without him.

Later on that day.
"Jongin, are you here?" Joonmyun slowly walked into the basement and looked around. When he caught sight of Jongin, he sighed. It didn't matter anyway- the younger started giving a about his cool image. Everyone was now aware of his feelings. Let them think what they want! Jongin liked Kyungsoo, finito. He actually even thought about loving him. But what is love?

Jongin wanted to know so badly.

Everything will change when Kyungsoo's back.
Jongin will make him happy. Jongin will be forever in his debt.

"What are we going to do, Jongin? You decide." Joonmyun asked.
"Do you think I know the answer?" Jongin relaxed his muscles again and sat up, but he couldn't recognize Joonmyun because his vision was blurry. His whole world was too blurry.
“We should let the police-” Jongin cuts him short.

“No way! They are going to kill him, you moron! We won't tell anyone, got that?”

“They won't kill him! They only want to threaten us. These are only words, letters without meaning.”

“So you say.” He hissed, whereupon Joonmyun crouched down to look into Jongin's eyes, but the latter turned away.

“Don't worry, huh? He'll be fine. Everything's gonna be fine.” The leader tried to say calmly, but you could easily hear his fear.

“And what if not?” Jongin asked with a gleam of hope. Nevertheless, Joonmyun wasn't able to reply. He stood up, put his hand on Jongin's shoulder and before he left, he stopped in the doorway and mumbled something that got lost in the void filled with their dispair.

Maybe it was relevant, maybe not.

“Kiddo, you'll be released today.“ Someone laughed. Whose voice was it? From where did it come from? Could Kyungsoo trust it? He wanted to demand, but his lungs were crushed. His parted lips didn't let out a tone, which surprised him not much. After that, he only felt how someone tugged at his arms. The metal dug even further into his wrists and he noticed his stomach twisting. This Someone pulled him up and pushed him in a direction that he could not interpret. Hell, it was too dark. Or he had completely lost his eyesight, as well as any kind of emotion.The voice commanded that he should get up himself, but it was almost impossible.His muscles had tightened up or they were possibly even torn apart. He no longer felt them.

The unknown punched Kyungsoo's back and his ribs somehow cracked, which is why he fell down on his knees. They started bleeding immediately. He wanted to hold his pelvis with his hands, but they were laced together. Rapidly Kyungsoo tried to get up and stumbled further away.

Would he finally get out of here?

Would he finally wake up from this nightmare?

Nervous, Jongin held the suitcase in his wet hands. He tried not to sweat, in order to not drop it. But if Jongin would do that, would he give up Kyungsoo? He clutched the handle firmly.Not for anything in the world he was allowed to think pessimistic. In less time Jongin would be reunited with his other half. His soul mate, best friend, love. Intangible. Unimaginable.

Well, only, he was afraid that he would lose him again. His soul too would be destroyed.

The police accompanied them. Of course, that contradicted the threat. Baekhyun and Sehun were absolutely blank, acting like they had no fear. Suho kept silent. Only Chanyeol shared Jongin's concerns. The latter heard his whimper, so he put his other arm around his waist and pulled him close.

Rather Jongin wanted to calm down himself.

Behind the four ran three policemen who just once again discussed the course of action. Then they signaled the car which went at walking pace that they were ready.

They all stopped briefly, nodded and Baekhyun rose the speak.

“Are you seriously ready?” Nobody said anything. The answer was clear. They weren't ready. Not at all. They needed time, time that would never tick away. Everyone was soaked with anxiety. Still, Kyungsoo was their friend. And they would risk many things for him, especially Jongin.

Said one couldn't restrain from gazing at his watch off and on. 11:28pm. They had to go through six minutes.

Six minutes suddenly became an eternity.

The boys were already at the temple, observing the broken stones. The building once had been a symbol for justice, but this night would change that.

It was a place Jongin would never want to return to. A place, where pure fear spread all over his skin. Time didn't think of passing that night. Usually, every day would disappear and no one would notice. And now, Jongin counted the milliseconds. His heart pound a little faster each additional second. Time is a killing thing, huh?

“It will go well.” Jongin said as he saw Chanyeol breathing heavily. He hoped Chanyeol would believe him. In particular, Jongin hoped he would believe himself. Unfortunately, his faith was not very strong.

Sehun stood there rigidly, looking down with hands in pockets. His face was stressed. A bitter taste sat down on Jongin's tongue, what made him feel giddy. Luckily, his legs were firmly fixed on the ground. He looked around: the police were already in their positions, they were hiding behind a wall, and were ready to take action at any time, and Jongin hoped that they would really do that. He couldn't trust them, but he forced himself to. Forced himself to optimistic thoughts.

All over sudden, a shadow appeared. Jongin now clutched the suitcase with both hands. Black shades came from nowhere. Colorless fabric decorated every inch of their bodies. You could see nothing. The gloominess did his bit too. Jongin gulped extremely. Joonmyun and Baekhyun stepped forward. How brave were they?! Jongin was glad he wasn't alone.

"Where is Kyungsoo? " Joonmyun spoke in a deep voice, emotionless.Jongin on the other hand wanted to squinny, turn around and run away. But he couldn't, as he stood there rooted to the spot, with the money in his hand. Not enough for Kyungsoo anyway, he thought. Far too little.

The silhouette made ​​a gesture that you couldn't see through the long cape, and another three people came out. As Jongin recognized one of them, his breath stopped, and his pulse, which was previously impossible high, froze. They had Kyungsoo's arms tightly enclosed and kicked him literally along the track. He looked despicable. His face was scarred, stained and his eyes had incredibly deep circles. His appearance was fragile. No, it was broken. He could barely stand on his feet, his walk was crooked. Arms laying on his back, surrounded by handcuffs that had already caused a lot of crack. But his eyes were closed. He looked halfdead.

For Jongin, Kyungsoo looked like he was dying.

Once again, Jongin swallowed, shifting from one foot to the other. Leaving behind footprints on this unholy ground.

He threw the case to the creatures. How could a man be that vicious? Is that human? He stopped the question flow in his brain. No time for anger.

 Jongin went back to his previous position and waited for a reaction of the opponent. The brute bent down and glanced into it and turned to the others. He said something that was drowned in the silence of the night. When he snapped with his fingers, the figures rammed Kyungsoo's calves and pulled him by his hair. Jongin clenched his fist, unwitting. He could hardly hold in his wrath. What they did to Kyungsoo... He wouldn't forgive them. Not ever.

They pushed him again, so he slumped to the floor. That was the moment. The only thing he could still perceive was how tires squealed and a loud siren banged to his drumhead.

“Stand still, hands up or I'll shoot!” The police focused their guns on the shapes. Please, damn it, please. Don't hurt Kyungsoo, Jongin was thinking the whole time. He had never been that scared.

Jongin's heart skipped. The culprits rose a knife and held it up. He closed in for the kill.

“No!” Jongin screamed with abandon and ran, threw himself in front of Kyungsoo. All he could feel was something sharp in his pit of the stomach. Needless to say, it had to be the knife.

Jongin fell to the ground and the world completely.

Chanyeol bent over the coffin , but could not believe it.He was still too young to understand it. It was an unique experience, for sure. But he was able to live without this experience in his memory doubtlessly.

Hewas dead. It was their fault, right? What if it would have proceeded differently?

He was such an idiot. Why couldn't he stick to the damn plan? Why did he want to be the hero so bad?
Chanyeol felt blue. He had known him since he was a little child, they've seen each other almost every day. Well, until now. Now he was gone til doomsday.

Deep in thoughts, Chanyeol felt a tear rolling down his cheek. It dripped down on his folded hands that were holding white flowers. He wished his friend back. He had been such a good person. He was like a brother. Was. He'll never come back again. He forsaked Chanyeol. All of them.

For the last time, Chanyeol looked at his peaceful face and grabbed the polyester shirt of the person standing next to him. Trying not to let out crying sounds, Chanyeol pressed his face against the someone's chest. Latter ran his fingers through the giant's hair and whispered a “It's okay” in his ear. But it wasn't okay. Yet, it reminded him that it was, in fact, actually okay. It was probably fate. He would've died anyway, because he suffered from another lethal illness. Maybe it was better this way.

Chanyeol looked up, sniffed his nose and saw Jongin's reassuring face that tried to smile.

Howsoever, he couldn't miss the pain in the younger's expression.

"Well, come on. We have to go now.” Jongin said slowly, but Chanyeol saw the excitement in his eyes. One week had passed since the incident that altered all their lives a little. Jongin had been silent, said nothing, ate nothing, only the most necessary. They all knew what he was thinking about. At first, he was in the hospital and he still had to wear a bandage over his entire upper body, but he did not once mention that he was hurt. He always thinks of Kyungsoo, right? Chanyeol wondered. If you adressed him about it, you'd see his agonized countenance.

 Anyway, Chanyeol nodded to Jongin, and made ​​it clear that they could go. Altough it's too ing sad to handle, Chanyeol had to attend this funeral, he just had to. Otherwise he would have been seized with remorse.

 Eventually, they left the church and stayed in front of the entrance for a moment. They read the golden sign over and over and bowed respectfully.

“Honorably died for justice in this country: Rest in piece, Policeman Lee Hwan-young.” was engraved there.

The drive to the hospital was longer than Jongin thought. Joonmyun, who drove, turned countless times and it felt like spinning. Or was it just an illusion that they were looking for the goal endlessly? The leader should just hurry up!

Kyungsoo had woken up that day. They got a call from the doctor in charge. Finally. Jongin couldn't believe his luck. Kyungsoo, his Kyungsoo lived. He managed to survive. Jongin didn't want to sound conceited, but well, he had saved him. Though the members were angry because he had acted selflessly, but there was no help for it. At the end, they didn't blame Jongin. They were too relieved that everything went fine.

Jongin had explained it with “Until that special moment, I was stiff- but then suddenly, my body moved by itself. I saw nothing but Kyungsoo.” A day ofter the accident, Jongin had already woken up with no serious damage. But Kyungsoo was in a state of shock, because he has a truly weak heart. Nevertheless, Jongin was just so glad his love was alive.

On that day, he wanted to confess to Kyungsoo and pay back everything.

Agitated, Jongin held the doorknob of room 143 in his right hand. Joonmyun, Baekhyun and Sehun stood at his flank, faltering their arms in consternation.

He took a burning breath, moving his hand down, and the squared door opened with a mute creak.

“Soo?” Jongin said eagerly with a peppy smile. There was no answer, so he decided to pad into the room. Perhaps Kyungsoo was asleep.

But he was awake, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey!” Jongin waved, but there was still no sound of the older male. Had he forgotten how to speak?

“Kyungsoo~” He walked up to him, leaned over him and looked directly into his eyes. His clear, significant and wonderful dark brown eyes.

Doesn't he notice me? Would he hug me now, like he always did? Jongin thought. He hoped so, but it turned out in another way.

“Oh, Jongin.” Ineloquently, Kyungsoo stared at him.

“Did you miss me?” Jongin tried his best to cheer him up since Kyungsoo didn't look happy at all.

“No, not really.” He mentally slapped him in the face then. Horrified, Jongin jumped up, because his tone was dead serious. Kyungsoo was serious. He was sincere. Jongin's eyes widened. Did he hate him?

“Kyungsoo, I have to tell you something.” Exactly, he should finally confess to him. That he was sorry, that he had treated him so poorly. And the most important thing, the thing Jongin had realized too late: that he loved him back.

Jongin loved Kyungsoo.

Somehow, Jongin's courage was gone. Perhaps Kyungsoo had given up on him.

“And that is?” The older said coldly.

“I, uh, Soo” Jongin grabbed Kyungsoo's wrists tenderly. How should he express his feelings? “I'm so so so glad that you're alive. Seriously. During the period when you, uh, were gone... There I noticed how much you mean to me. That you are so precious, and I mean, I need you, Soo. I really cherish you now. I feel so guilty, because I realized that I was a douchebag. I should've never ever ever rejected you, because you're the most beautiful person I know and I'm so lucky to have a friend like you. Actually, I've thought about this. So please, Soo, think about it too. I don't joke about this. My heart talks to you at the moment and, , it's beating insanely. You know, I'm not a good talker, because I never find the right words. And currently, there's only one thing I'd like to tell you what I learned. Listen and forgive me. I'll make you the happiest person on earth. It's fateful we're here. Kyungsoo, I'm now going to say three words and eight letters and oh god, this is so cheesy. Well,Soo, I-” Just as Jongin was about to say the essential, Kyungsoo interrupted him.

“Have you quite finished?” Jongin froze. Had he forgotten who Jongin was? Had he lost his memory? Jongin knew Kyungsoo. He would never be so repellent. Even if he was annoyed, he'd be kind to others. It's not like him, behaving sassy. Jongin couldn't find an explanation.
“Actually, I wanted to say-”

“Actually, I want to sleep.”

“Kyungsoo?”

“What?”
 

“Are you mad at me?”
 

“Nope, why?”

 

“Then, why are you like that?” Jongin pointed to Kyungsoo's face that looked up so impossibly empty.

“Should I act different?”

“That's not you.”
 

“Well, I'm here. I'm me. Can you leave now?”

“Do you really want me to go?”

“Get out.” Pleading, Jongin exhaled. Let this be a hidden camera prank. Jongin's world seemed to sink. An older man in a white coat came in, the doctor. Without averting his gaze from the notepad, he aimed at Jongin. “Are you Kim Jongin?”

“Eh, yeah.”
 

“You're probably confused about his state.”

“What's his deal?” Jongin blurted out.
 

“He suffers from Alexithymia.”

“And, what's that exactly?” Jongin wished that it's not that bad. He only wanted Kyungsoo to continue living. Jongin demanded no more. He wanted to be by his side forever.

“He can't sense emotions anymore. Sadness, joy, anger and such, all that is erased from his brain.” Jongin held his breath. He was on the verge of crying. Had they exchange their roles? Now Kyungsoo rejected him. For how long? Forever? It was all Jongin's fault. He could've saved his feelings. He was an idiot. A pathetic idiot. And he didn't deserve Kyungsoo anyway.

Kyungsoo was now so cold to Jongin as Jongin was to Kyungsoo. They wouldn't be more than friends. Or, would they even be friends? Probably not even that.
 

But as long as Kyungsoo lived, as long as he was doing well... Jongin was simultaneously thankful that the older was breathing.

“So he's like a robot?” Jongin asked, although he knew the answer and he didn't want to heart it.

“Yes. And we do not know if he will ever be able to overcome this trauma.”

So their love wasn't destined?

A/N: i've read it over and over and over again and i killed any kind of mistake my eyes could recognize as a mistake.
apart from that  i'm sorry for typos and such
and since english is not my native language i tend to make fatal syntax and time errors and yeah
AND HELL I DON'T GET YOUR PUNCTUATION RULES OK
if you find a mistake you may keep it!
no seriously, please tell me. i'd be grateful.
anyways! i'm proud of this story because it was one of my first. (orginally a jongkey fic)
if there are requests i think about writing a (chaptered) sequel where Jongin tries his best to heal Kyungsoo or something like that.
please check out my other on-going one shots as well!

comment, subscribe and whatever.

Fare thee well peasants lovely you
love kimi ♥