Chapter based on UNANG ARAW and TULOG NA.

UNANG ARAW

Ngayong wala ka na
Now that you're gone
Kailangang masanay na muling nag-iisa
I should get used to being alone

Wag mo akong sisihin
Please don't blame me
Kung minsan akong iyakin
If I'm sometimes a crybaby
Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na
This is the first day that you're gone

TULOG NA

Tulog na mahal ko
Sleep now my love
Nandito lang akong bahala sa iyo
I'm here, I got you
Sige na, tulog na muna
Go on, sleep first

Tulog na mahal ko
Sleep now my love
At baka bukas ngingiti ka sa wakas
And maybe tomorrow you will finally smile
At sabay natin haharapin ang mundo
And we'll face the world together

--------

Yifan wakes up the next morning around 9. He's supposed to be in Busan enjoying some time away from the city after attending the convention yesterday yet here he is inside his apartment with Tao sleeping on his bed again. The older watches Tao as he sleeps and he thinks of last night. After Tao showered, he just laid next to him and slept.

Tao didn't cry, because if he did, even under the shower, Yifan will know.

Tao groans and slowly opens his eyes. He blinks and stares at Yifan. They stay silent and stare at each other until Tao is breathing heavily and mumbles, "We're really over..."

Tao starts to sob and covers his face with his hands. He doesn't say anything and Yifan can only watch him cry his heart out, the reality of the break-up finally sinking in after almost 24 hours.

"It's three years, Yifan. Well, almost three years and I just..."

Yifan pulls Tao in his arms and just hugs the younger. Tao cries on his chest and Yifan runs his hand on the younger's back to soothe the pain.

When Tao calms down, Yifan pushes the younger to look at him, "Are you up for breakfast?"

Tao nods.

"What do you want to eat?"

"I don't know. I'm just hungry and my heart feels heavy..."

"Stay here okay?" Yifan pats Tao's cheek and jumps off the bed. He heads to the kitchen and prepares a hearty breakfast for the both of them. He wonders how he'll deal with this because for the record, they never dealt with this kind of situations before. Sure, there were times Tao and Jongin fought but they never even challenged each other for a break-up. And as for Yifan, he only had Kevin he can say he was involved with during the course of Tao's relationship with Jongin and it's not like they were as serious.

He returns to the bedroom to find Tao walking aimlessly. Looking at the window, looking at Yifan's pictures, and then sitting back on the bed when he notices Yifan by the door. "I never noticed how boring your bedroom is. Our bedroom has tons of our pictures..."

Yifan rolls his eyes and Tao smiles, though Yifan knows it's quite forced. He tells Tao to sit on the floor and he puts the tray in front of the younger, "Protein-riched breakfast for the big boy."

Tao laughs and hits Yifan's arm, "You served me food fit for a wrestler."

"Fine then, I'll eat them all."

"Did I say I won't eat?"

They share their breakfast in silence and when they finish, Yifan takes the tray and dirty dishes back to the kitchen. When he returns to the bedroom, Tao is talking to somebody on the phone.

"Yeah. I still have the key... Yeah. I'll get them, don't worry. Sure. Have fun and take care okay?"

Tao ends the call and smiles bitterly at Yifan, "Jongin. It's his flight out to Japan and he's asking when I'll get my stuff. He said he was worried about where I am today..." Tao trails off as he wipes his cheek to dry. He doesn't realize he's crying already, "He called me today to check up on me when he won't even text me if he's coming home or not after a tour."

Yifan sighs and sits next to the younger, "Don't you want to try and reconcile?"

Tao shakes his head, "This is for the better though. If you saw how relieved he was that I brought it up, I just knew, it's over."

Tao cries again and wipes his face, "I'm sorry I keep crying. Can... Can you help me get my stuff? The sooner the better."

"Yeah. Let me change my clothes."

Tao wipes his face with his shirt, "Oh, I'm moving here for the meantime, is it okay?"

Yifan pinches Tao's nose, "You're asking now? If you haven't noticed you have stuff here already."

Tao laughs a bit and hugs Yifan, "I will crash and burn without you, ge. Thank you."

-----

Tao is taking out his clothes from their shared closet while Yifan puts them in bags. Yifan watches as Tao does his task and notices how the younger sometimes stops and brushes his hand on Jongin's jacket or hug Jongin's shirt and cries. Yifan lets him because he knows, even if the break-up was mutual, Tao really loved Jongin.

Yifan retracts his gaze and folds Tao's clothes instead. He's trying to put all of Tao's clothes inside the bag when the silence breaks, "He said I'll have a hard time packing all my clothes should we move out of here because I have too much and I guess he's right."

Yifan raises an eyebrow as he keeps pushing the clothes down so the zipper can close, "Couldn't you have invested on a large luggage bag?"

"Jongin has a lot of bags since he travels a lot. I thought I'd use some of his when we move out of here. I just... I never thought we'd have to breakup, y'know?"

Yifan closes the bag and walks over to Tao, "What's your plan today?"

Tao shakes his head and shrugs, "No idea. I called the office earlier and told them I need three days off. I guess I will just mope around the apartment once we're done here."

Yifan nods and soon the both of them are taking out Tao's stuff from the apartment. They're driving back to Yifan's apartment when Tao notices the change in route.

"Where are we going?"

"You can't ask. You just have to trust me."

Tao nods and keeps his silence. Moments later Yifan parks in front of a local amusement park and Tao raises an eyebrow at him, "Are you serious?"

"Why not?" Yifan grins as the older removes his seatbelt.

"You're too old for this." Tao chuckles and Yifan flicks his forehead before heading out of the car. Tao jumps off the vehicle and looks at park, "And this place could be older than you."

"I'm only turning 26 in a few months so will you please?"

Tao shrugs and they enter the park together. Tao thinks it's rather nostalgic since the park doesn't have an entrance fee nor a ride-all-you-can ticket. Yifan pays for the tickets to the carousel and Tao is only a tiny bit embarrassed to be six feet tall and riding a children's ride with a much taller man.

Tao watches Yifan goof around with the horse, rather, a unicorn with a broken horn. He laughs when Yifan really does goes unbalanced and almost falls off.

"You're so stupid, gege."

Yifan grunts and pushes Tao off his horse but the younger grips on the pole too hard for support and it crumbles in his hand. ", Tao! You broke it!"

"Shhh!!!" Tao hushes Yifan and he jumps off his horse and drags Yifan through the rotating ride to transfer to the empty (and boring) sled. They sit properly as if nothing has happened when they pass by the ride's operator who is looking at them suspiciously.

"Man, I'm surprised this ride hasn't murdered anybody yet..." Tao comments and Yifan slaps his arm, "So mean. Look at how happy the kids are."

Tao smiles and sighs, "Yeah... I guess you're right."

They run out of the ride immediately after the carousel stopped and Yifan drags Tao to the bumper cars after and the younger almost jumps off his car to hit Yifan on the head because the older is obviously with an upper hand given that he really drives an actual car and Tao doesn't.

"You're a cheater, gege." Tao pouts as they walk along the park after the bumper cars. "You just at it." Yifan laughs and Tao bites his shoulder.

"Sore loser." Yifan pinches Tao's nose and the younger pinches the shoulder he just recently bit. "Mannn, I'm gonna have you hurting me all day, huh?"

Tao nods and then drags Yifan to a stall swarmed by children.

"Come on! Cotton candies!"

"I'm on a diet." Yifan tells him as he tries to pull Tao away from the stall. Tao punches Yifan's arm and drags him back. The younger buys them cotton candies despite Yifan's protests because sweets are a no-no but what Tao wants, Tao gets, thus, Yifan is now munching on candy clouds in lavender.

"It's so sweet!!!!" Yifan cries as he takes another bite of the confectionary. Tao eats his share and shoves a large piece on Yifan's mouth again. "You already took me here, let's at least do and eat what we should be in here."

They're walking aimlessly when Tao excitedly points to a booth, "Best of three?" Tao challenges him and Yifan crosses his arms over his chest, "You are so ON."

Tao smirks and drags Yifan to the shooting range. What Tao lacks in driving skills he makes up for his shooting skills. He successfully beats Yifan on the shooting game and he laughs as he compares Yifan's tiny alpaca keychain to his gigantic panda plushie he can barely carry.

"You loser." Tao teases Yifan and the older punches the panda plushie in the face, "You're hurting my baby!"

"Stupid, goofy-looking panda." Yifan grunts and Tao frowns at Yifan. "Come on, let's try more booths, gege."

They try more of what the amusement park has to offer with Yifan successfully winning a Totoro plushie in which Tao gets in the end after pouting cutely at Yifan that he must have the friendly forest god plushie. It's a bit late in the afternoon and they're both eating hotdogs and drinking carbonated drinks while watching the children play and run around the park. The bench creaks when Yifan turns to look at Tao.

"Happy?" Yifan asks and Tao nods. "Thank you, gege."

Yifan stands and takes the empty cup and stick from Tao's hands. He throws away the garbage and drags Tao to the ferris wheel, "It's almost sunset. This will be the perfect time to ride it."

They're sitting silently across each other as the ride slowly moves around. Tao sighs and smiles at him, "Thank you. Today, I forgot I'm alone."

"You were never alone, Zitao. I've always been here."

Tao nods and looks at the horizon, "Jongin and I never had the time to go to places like this. Jongin and I lost... We lost time together and by then... By then..."

Tao starts to sob and Yifan hands him a handkerchief silently.

"By then... We're just there. Like... There. We love each other but we're just going through our everyday lives almost as strangers living in the same place..."

Tao cries harder while the skies turn orange and their cabin reaches the top, "I really love him Yifan. And we were together for three years... I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"What if I don't find somebody else? I was so used to Jongin. I was so used to him being near. He was safe... Until we started drifting apart."

Yifan stands and carefully sits next to Tao, "Rest your heart for a while Zitao. You're only 23. Some people find their true love in their thirties. You have seven years to go."

Tao laughs and hits Yifan's arm, "And you have four."

"Exactly."

Tao sighs and smiles at Yifan. The older wipes the tears from Tao's cheeks and pinches him lightly on the nose before patting the younger's head, "Hey, Zitao?"

"What?"

"Promise me one thing."

Tao nods as he slaps away Yifan's hands from his face, "What is it?"

"I want today to be the only day for you to cry over the breakup."

Tao raises an eyebrow and Yifan continues, "You have until midnight when we get home. I will even leave you alone to cry your eyes out. I wouldn't like you to be the only one who's hurting like this."

Tao nods and tears start forming in his eyes again, Yifan ignores them.

"Tao, you wouldn't want Jongin to move on faster than you, right? As you said, he was relieved and you're miserable, even if you were the one who wanted to breakup."

The ride stops and their door is opened, Tao keeps his head down while Yifan drags him out and back to the car. Tao keeps crying silently while Yifan drives back to the apartment. They decide to leave Tao's stuff and the plushies inside the car for tonight and head directly back to the apartment. True to his words, Yifan leaves Tao alone in the bedroom after he changed his clothes.

Yifan steps out of the apartment and walks to a nearby bar where Minseok and Luhan are already waiting for him. Yifan takes the beer Minseok offers and drinks. Luhan clears his throat and finally asks, "Why are we here?"

"Tao moved back in with me again yesterday."

"They broke up?" Minseok asks and Yifan nods. Yifan tells the story of what he knows and what he did with Tao today. "So you took him on a date?" Minseok asks after he tells his story and Yifan shrugs his shoulder, "I don't even know what to call it. From an outsider's point of view, it's clearly a date. For Tao, I'm sure he thought I was just cheering him up, which I was, actually. Though y'know, the selfish and part of me was thinking it's our first date that whole time."

Luhan chugs his second bottle and pats Yifan's back, "What's your plan?"

"I don't know."

Minseok lights up a cigarette and crumples the empty pack, "Well, weren't you planning on dating that Taemin guy from your Sales Department?"

"I wasn't. Where did you get the idea? Besides, I'm not planning on dating anyone after Kevin."

"Dude, we all know it was you who broke it off with Kevin."

"He was getting married."

Minseok raises an eyebrow and shakes his head, "Yeah and he told you that if you'll make what you have official, he will come out to his parents to be with you."

Yifan shakes his head and drinks the rest of his beer, "I don't want to be his reason to come out. I don't love him enough for me to fight for him against his parents."

"You're so blunt." Minseok tells Yifan and the youngest of the three shrugs, "Can we not talk about Kevin anymore? We dated eons ago, okay? Last I heard, his wife's pregnant with twins."

Luhan rests his head against the backrest and stares at the dimly-lit ceiling of the bar, "You're just gonna be back again to the same person you were years ago. You're gonna live together without you saying anything to him. Knowing Tao, give him a few months and he'll come looking for The One again. And it won't still be you if you don't say anything."

Yifan takes another bottle of beer and mirrors Luhan's actions, "I don't think this is the right time to tell him how I've always felt about him."

Minseok tsks and throws the empty pack of cigarettes at Yifan, "There you go again. Fine. This isn't the right time but you at proper timing. You for more than a decade now."

Yifan shrugs his shoulders and takes a cigarette between his lips, "I'm really pathetic, aren't I?"

"Yes." Minseok and Luhan says in unison. Yifan blows out smoke and Luhan sighs, "You deserve to be happy, Yifan. If you're being held back by your friendship with Tao, maybe it's best to look for someone else."

"It's been years, man. Years. You even dated and had Kevin fall for you so I guess you aren't really stiff or something. Think about it, Yifan. Maybe your happiness doesn't really lie on Tao." Minseok tells him and Yifan faces his friend.

"Give me a bit more time. I want him to have completely moved on from Jongin before I tell him I love him."

"If he rejects you, what then?"

Yifan laughs bitterly and kills the rest of his cigarette on the ashtray, "I'm gonna date that Taemin guy from Sales."

Luhan faces Yifan with a determined look on his face, "Six months, Yifan. Tell him within six months because if you won't, we're setting you up with another guy, okay?"

"A year?"

"Stop stalling, ." Minseok laughs and Yifan tells them that it's a deal.

-----

Yifan walks silently inside the apartment around two in the morning. He reeks of alcohol and cigarette although he isn't really drunk. The conversation with his two good friends have gone longer than just his situation with Tao since the three of them haven't seen each other in two months, at least.

Yifan heads straight to the shower and takes a quick one to at least remove the stench before going to bed. Thirty minutes later, he walks to the bedroom and sees Tao awake and staring at the door.

"Welcome home." Tao's voice hoarsely greets him and Yifan smiles, "I'm home."

Yifan changes into his pajamas while Tao keeps his eyes fixed on the door. Moments later he slides next to his best friend and Tao turns to him.

"Had a good cry?" Yifan asks and Tao nods.

"It was exhausting, to be honest. I don't think I have any more tears to shed in the coming days."

"Why are you still awake...?"

"I keep thinking of things. A lot is in my head and I can't even close my eyes for a second because it hurts..."

Yifan pats the space between them and Tao moves closer and wraps an arm around him, "It's been a while since you willingly let me sleep like this with you." Tao chuckles and Yifan flicks the other's forehead.

Tao looks up with glassy eyes and takes a deep breath, "I close my eyes and all our memories play like a movie on repeat..."

Yifan places a hand over Tao's cheek and it gently as a stray tear falls again, "Go to sleep, Zitao..."

"It hurts to close my eyes..."

Yifan smiles at him gently, "I'm here. I'll make the hurt go away. Close your eyes, Zitao."

Tao nods and buries his head on Yifan's chest. The older Tao's hair as he feels the front of his shirt getting wet, "Go to sleep. The memories can't hurt you when you're asleep. Sleep now and just let the memories go on repeat. Ignore them until they can't hurt you anymore..."

Yifan feels Tao relax against him and the grip of the younger on his shirt loosens, "Go to sleep, Huang Zitao. When you wake up, things will be different. When you wake up, I hope there's a smile on your face. We’ll face tomorrow together."

Yifan Tao's hair a few more times and looks at the figure wrapped around him. Tao is finally asleep and Yifan places a soft yet tentative kiss on top of Tao's head.

'Sleep now, my love.'

--------------

Author's Notes: Very quick update as this was supposed to be part of the previous chapter. There are probably four more chapters to go before this story ends and I hope it really, really doesn't end up with another year for an update.

Also, do listen to the songs each chapter are based on, although it's in my native language ( TДT)!! How I wish it were in English just so everyone can understand why and how these songs were so emotional and inspirational to me. Anyway, see yah next update whenever that may be! (ﾉ*>∀<;)ﾉ♡