The air felt little bit of cold but it was relaxing in it's own way. It was night and the only light around me was bright moon and the little starts around it.  I've never really liked being alone in the night. Speacially outside of the walls. But I knew I could this night feel he near me so I wasn't scared. 

Everyone were sleeping in the city while I was walking without my 3D maneuver gear and weapons and - without permisson. I didn't have a anything with me, which was really stupid but I didn't feel like it was necessary. It would have been necessary if Titans were awake in the dark or would evenexist anymore near our walls.

I was wearing a thin white blouse and white thight jeans - I knew he liked these clothes on me the best. 

I saw the familiar forest a little bit of further. The nervousness in me grew all the time bigger and my heart felt heavy. He had said that he would be at our tree tonight. I never had doubts about finding our tree. It wasn't different from the other but I knew where I was going. 

My footsteps began move more faster and I began come more nervous when I thought I could see his smile, I could talk to him, I could feel his existence near me, I could feel him.

It had been a long time since when I last time saw him. 

 

 

The tall trees peacefully swung with the wind making trees leaves rustling. Very bright light from the moon tried to come trough the trees.  It was so peaceful that even I felt like I could be happy just for that. 

But I wasn't.

Not until I was with him again. 

 

 

''Jean! Do you remember our promise?'' he asked brigtly smiling for me. He looked so beautiful when the summer sun shone to him and he lied on the grass light-heartdely next to me. 

Today was again one of ours little secret meetings.

''Tell me about it again. I'm not sure.'' I answered lightly smiling because I remembered really well the promise but I just wanted to hear his voice. 

He rolled his body into me and smiled his dark eyes shining lively. I never get used to his closeness. Everytime it felt more better, more real.

I lied on the ground on my back and he climbed on me.

''When you're done.. with fighting the Titans...'' he started but little sorrow grew in his eyes. I knew really well why. I had said to him that I wanted to fight the Titans as long as I could be sure that my job was done.

''You and me...'' he didn't look into my eyes anymore. His eyes travelled on my body slowly. He his pink lips more slowly like teasing me. It was hot as .

''We'll runaway.'' he said determinedly and put his hands on the ground both side of my head and gave me that little flirty look like he was going to do something. 

''So I can love you every day more and more.'' I looked into his face fascinationly counting every freckle on his cheeks. Sun beautifully shone behind him making his beautiful black hair look like silk. Everything about him made my heart flutter. I never thought I could fell for someone this strongly.

He came closer to my face his short black hair tickling my cheeks. I felt his breathing on my lips softly and his clean scent made me calm. 

With one more move I felt his soft and little bit of wet lips on my lips. It wasn't one of those cute little kisses. Never with him. Passion was the word to describe our kisses.

He let his body crush on my own and he lied on my stomach when our toungues were playing with each other. I brushed my lips hardly on his own making he moan suprisingly. 

His hand went under my shirt rubbing and my pale skin roughly. My lips vibrated on his lips from my moan. He must really like when he made me feel like this. 

My hand for revenge squeezed his what made him kiss me with more passion. 

''Jean..'' he broke our mess kissing and looked into my eyes like I was the most perfect living thing on earth. I really hated that look because I was tragedy on my own with my quick temper, aggressive, cold-heart.

''What if I die?'' he was serious what made my heart sink. Why he was talking about this now? The chance to see him die in front of my eyes was so big that I could die if I didn't have the courage and self-control to think something better.

I hated to talk about this since I had done everything until now that I still had him alive. 

''I will come with you.'' 

 

 

Everything looked so familiar around me. It was kind of sad how I could tell memories every part on my way. It was sad I didn't have these memories from yesterday or day after that. It was weeks. 

I knew that tonight was going to happen the most important memory of all time.

I could be his forever.

''It's coming!'' I heard the scream of Armin who was now coming back now from the wall of Wall Maria with that horror look like something ing bad was going to happen. 

The king had made the best of soldiers to keep eye on the wall for weeks now because he just had the feeling something bad was going to happen. There wasn't been any Titans for last two weeks which was werid. 

Until now.

I stood up from the ground next to Eren who was in a shock like me. 

At that time something hit the wall so strongly that the ground we were standing on shook strongly. I fell on the ground strongly my head feeling being crushed from the hard as rock hit on the ground. Everything start to shook on my mind and eye sight. Everyone used their 3D maneuver gear to excape while I tried to stood up.There was so much screaming but I still could hear from the voice of Armin that every slow watchman got hit from the Titan.

He was watchman with Armin. 

My heart felt a strong hit like I was losing my own life. I tried to forgot the pain hardly when I stood up. I didn't have the time to think about myself anymore. 

My head got clearler from the hit and then I saw it..

The class of 30 meters tall Titan was destroing by itself the city. I was only 100meters away from the hole of the wall and from the hole was coming more and more other Titans. At the wall was no alive soldiers anymore. 

The Hell had been released.

 

 

''Jean!'' someone screamed my name when I flew on some buildings roof. I turned my head in panic to that person. I just ing needed some information about him. 

The person waw Armin, his blue eyes filled with horror. I almost exploded from curiousity and need to see him. Armin was with him so he should know where he is.

Armin ran to me but I was in too big concer to listen to him. I grabbed to his collar and looked angrly to his big eyes.

''Where is he?'' I screamed over all the other screams and crushes. Armin looked for awhile really clueless but then his look got brighter.

''Marco?'' Armin asked softly in a shock his little body not moving even an inch. My heart was struggling about Armins answer. How did he know it was Marco who I was looking for? 

I nodded to him but not looking him into his eyes. I was scared what he would say. Marco couldn't be dead - right? 

''Where is he?'' I almost screamed again through my heartpain. My breathing became heavy. I needed someone to tell me Marco wasn't dead or I was losing my mind. Why Armin wasn't answering?

''He is not dead, isn't he?'' I asked so angrly that I was ready to hit the boy. I shook boy from his shoulders to make him answer.

''I don't know.'' 

 

-

While the others were fighting I was looking for Marco. It was going to be hard work since the city was so big. What if Marco had been eaten? 

No. 

Someone would had seen it and told to somebody.

I would know if it happened.

 

 

 

The air felt heavy and fresh flesh smelled in the bloody city when I flew through the air looking for Marco. 

I didn't believe in God. If God was real he shouldn't have made these Titans to this planet. 
But that day I prayed in my mind for God to save Marco.

 

 

The war between humankind and Titans was going over control. The Titans were winning in that point of view that everywhere you went inside Wall Maria you always saw Titan or two. It was really feeling like the Wall Rose was in danger now too. 

The bells rang everywhere to warn people that there was now big danger. 

My eyes travelled around every part of streets, roofs, grounds to trees but I didn't see Marco anywhere. 

I bet it had been three hours since the attack now. 

Still, I tried to be strong. 

 

 

But how the hell I was going to find someone in this war anymore!? 

I had been so deeply in my thoughts that I bumped into something hard. It was painful as hell and I spinned in the air countless times until I crashed into the roof losing my 3D maneuver gear and other weapons too at that hit. 

My face rubbed into sharp roof bricks and I felt how my clothes ripped making my skin bleed. I didn't wanna open my eyes but I realised that it wasn't even possible. Everything felt so heavy. 

I felt awful. 

I couldn't move and breathing felt like trying to breath thourgh the paper. 

I thought that now Titans would do the end of me.

Like I cared anymore. 

 

 

''Jean!'' I heard my name from somewhere. I wasn't dead yet? I tried to move my finger and it worked suprisingly well. I was alive?

Who was it?

Slowly I turned my head to forward to the light - more likely the sun. Slowly I made my eyes open and I faced steam, clouds and dusk. How the hell I wasn't eaten yet? 

I heard running footsteps on the same roof as I was. 

Someone trying to save me? 
That's cute, but Im already like dead.

''Jean!'' the person was crying and I don't know why but my heart felt like beating again. I saw tall guy running into me and throwing his weapons away when kneeling next to me crying. 

Could it be...?

''What happened...'' the crying quietly person mumbled to himself while seeing my stituation. My eye sight came back slowly and I regonized those dark familiar eyes above his adorable freckle cheeks. 

''We need to go now, Jean. I don't wanna see you die.'' Marco said when putting his arms under my body to lift me up. He was thinking to get me to safe with his 3D maneuver gear?

That wasn't going to succes. 

''Marco and Jean! Watch out!!'' 

Who ever the screamer was 

he was too late.

Strong Titan fist hit just next to us. Obviously trying to hit us but failed. Still the hit was so strong that I fell on Marcos arms and rolled to roofs border. I used all my strenght to not fall from the roof since I didn't have my 3D maneuver gear. 

My will to live came back for knowing Marco was still alive. 

I used all my sleepy muscels to lift myself to the roof where Marco could see me.

I saw that this Titan was the class of 16 meters and it made my lungs shiver. I looked for Marco and I saw him hopelessly trying to kill the Titan alone. 

I lift my self to the roof when seeing that Marco was going to lose this battle. I knew that I wouldn't be any use if I didn't have my weapons so I tried to look for them. It wasn't hard to regonize big mess of 3D maneuver gear and swords on the roof - everything broken. 

''Marco. Stop it! We need to go!'' I screamed top of my lungs but Marco didn't listen to me. He just looked me seriously back while standing at the further roof. I saw how the Titan was following Marco and not me.

This was his plan and I didn't like it.

''Marco! Come back right now!'' I screamed so loudly I ever could. He didn't even look at me anymore. I knew Marco couldn't win that Titan on his own. I wasn't ready to watch Marco die. I wasn't ready to lose him.

 

But Marco countinued his plan until the end. He left me alone that roof to hide myself from the Titans. I was hurt still and I felt like half of my face was on fire because it hurt so much. I had blood everywhere on my body but the pain wasn't nothing compared what happenend inside me.

I couldn't run or fight. 

So I prayed and hoped.

 

I thought I would die just sitting on that roof but my comrades saw me and made sure that I didn't get eaten. 

 

 

 

I saw the tree - the tree where we first time kissed. It sounded every time as cheesy as before. I had a little smirk on my lips when I thought about that night. How long has it been? Two years? Yeah,two years since I had met the better side of me.  

Two years since I was born as a better me.

I sit on the ground my back on the tree thinking my memories with him and waiting. 

Waiting for him.

 

 

The attack had last from dawn to dusk.I walked on the streets of Wall Maria after the attack. It was ugly everywhere. From old people to newborn kids lying on the streets crushed and bloody. Seeing so much sorrow and dying made me think of Marco.

I didn't know where he was. 

No one did.

Dust and steam was flying in the air as I sorrowly walked on the streets. I had a talk with Eren couple minutes ago. 

''Jean, you have to listen to me now. Marco may not be alive. You need to understand that now before you see it on you own and it will hurt more.''

It hurt the most when someone other says like that to you. I had respected Eren for a long time so it really hit my heart. Should I start to believe Eren? Why Marco wouldn't be alive? He had been through worse.  

I still couldn't earse the scene on my mind where Marco alone fought with the Titans.

I couldn't earse the thought about Marco being dead since it reached me now. 

I bit my lip hard. 

I wouldn't cry now.

 

 

 

I didn't let myself to cry even when I saw familiar body struggling on the bloody ground with his last power. 

I felt like I was watching myself dying in front of my eyes.

It hurted much more than any hit or fall.

His black hair was covered with dry blood, his always so perfect and pale face was now full of bloody sores, his eyes were closed, his face looking really painful. Like he was trying to escape from dying - tying to keep moving even it hurt.

I couldn't move.

It was surreal.

 

But still true.

 

While he was still in his pain I reached closer to him with shaking heart. How long had he been suffering and trying to be alive? 

I didn't wanna see him die but how the hell I was supposed to turn my back to him in this stituation we both always feared of?

''Marco...'' I called his name swallowing my tears in a shaky voice. It still had a strong reponse in Marco. His eyes opened in a speed of light and he watched me from the groung with those sleepy, painful, dark puppy eyes. 

''Am I dead?'' he asked with so serious and husky voice tone that I knew that he really was living on his last. He chocked some blood from his lungs.

This was the nightmare I had always dreamt of. 

My heart started to panic while swallowing and breathing came all the time more hard for me. I went slowly on my knees next to him. 

It hurted more than I could have knew when I took his ice cold hand on my own. It felt like some part of Marco was already left from here. 

''No you're not.'' I said trying to calm myself with these words. I didn't wanna let Marco see my sorrow so I closed my eyes as I tried to make his hands warmer with my hands but nothing helped. Even when I kissed his dry and cold hands it felt like I was kissing a rock. 

Why I didn't runaway with him earlier? This wouldn't had happen!

The tears start to fill up my eyes.

''You don't have to be so strong anymore.'' Marco said with that comforting voice that made me always keep going. When I opened my eyes to look at him the tears rolled down on my cheeks.

'' I'am so sorry.'' I said with shaking voice as I pulled him to my embrace from the ground. His body had stop fighting over the pain a time ago which made me concern. 

''It's not your fault Jean...'' he whispered softly to my ear as I tried to drown my sorrow into that hug. That hug that I hoped would bring Marco back to this life, that hug that felt like the last, that hug that led Marco allthe time further from me.

''Promise to fight.'' he said evenly his cold face against my chest while my tears dropped into his silk hair. 

I really felt like fighting against Titans was the only thing I could manage to do anymore in my life. I would kill everyone of them for taking Marco from me.

Marcos body start to feel more heavy when the time passed. I pressed my face into his soft and tickling hair trying to smell his soft and clean scent for the last time. 

So now I was waiting for Marco to die..

I couldn't  believe it.

''It's so cold and dark Jean...'' he said sorrowfully, whining like a little cute child to his mother in winter. It wasn't even dark so I knew it wouldn't take much time for him anymore.

I tried my best to press him more thigtly to the hug but even I felt the coldness now. 

Is this the way he's going to leave me?

''Remember that our promise is still alive.'' 

With those words he left me.

 

 

It was the day when I had released from working in Survey Corps. There wasn't big danger anymore since big amount of Titans were killed with this poison that Special Operations Squad found and developed awhile ago. 

There were Titans but not like they were risk for humankind anymore.

I personally thought that there was just going to be again another 100 years and the Titans would come again. 

But that wasn't my worry anymore. 

I was free
                                       free to runaway.

 

 

Everytime I closed my eyes I saw Marcos face so brightly in front of me. The miss towards him was making me sick - physically and mentally. I had started to see delusions for every day since two weeks. I sometimes just saw Marco sitting on my bed, talking to me. I didn't know was it true or was I going just crazy.

The heavy thing in my pocket started to feel all the time for heavier. Slowly I put my hand on my pocket to feel the pistol under my fingers. I couldn't help the doubt inside me.

Was I really doing this?

Would Marco really want me to do this?

Could I live any longer without him? 

 

But our promise would keep on living.

I had thought about Marcos last words a lot and this was my last decision of my life.

 

''What if I die?'' he was serious what made my heart sink. Why he was talking about this now? The chance to see him die in front of my eyes was so big that I could die if I didn't have the courage and self-control to think something better.

I hated to talk about this since I had done everything until now that I still had him alive. 

''I will come with you.''