“Are you ready?”

She’s the only one who knows everything about me. She knew I can’t dance because shame was swallowing me. She knew I love to listen to music whenever I’m in a bad mood. She knew I don’t like any sports because I don’t want to get tired.

“More than ready,”

She loves to dance. And because of that, she promised to herself that she’ll make me like it. Every afternoon, she would force me to learn how to dance. She would teach me.

“Hey, my brother’s excited!”

“Of course, it’s been five years… I promised her that I’ll be back.”

My sister flashed another smile before she went inside her car. I smiled as I felt my heart beating rapidly. This only means that I’m more than excited to see her finally again. I went inside my sister’s car and she started driving. While we were on our way, I can’t help but reminisce the days I had with her.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want.”

“Who told you I’m giving you a choice?”

“Jessica, I told you—“

“Whether you like it or not, you’re going with me!”

Yes, she’s naughty. And I’m the complete opposite of her attitude. I refuse to socialize with people before. I don’t want anyone to be with me. And because of that, she decided to enter my life.

“Hey, try to move your body!”

“I’m moving it, don’t you see?”

“It’s like you’re just waving your hands!”

“I hate this!”

Everyone must think that I hate her for making me do something that I don’t want. Well, they are wrong. Because when I’m with her, no matter how hard life can be, I feel like I can live life happily.

“We’re done! Now I still have to study… we have a quiz tomorrow don’t we?”

“I don’t care,”

“Jang Hyunseung, you don’t care about your studies? Then why the hell are you in school?”

And guess what? She even volunteered to tutor me. Everyone must also be thinking that I’m the kind of student who just doesn’t study hard. Well they are wrong, because even when I don’t study, I get high grades. I don’t even know why she volunteered to teach me even though she knew I was a top student and she’s not.

“Euthanasia is… it’s something that is not acceptable. Because… people who are sick doesn’t chose to just die like that!”

“But some of them fully accepted it.”

“Really?”

“You must know that, you’re teaching me don’t you?”

And that started our routine. After classes, we would go to the gym for her to teach me in dancing. And after that, we’ll go straight to my house and she’ll teach me on our assignments. She became a best friend. She became an important person in my life. And that’s when I realized… I fell for her already.

“Hyunseung…!”

“What?”

“My crush likes me too! Ah, I’m so happy!”

“R-Really…?”

My smile faded that time. That’s when reality slapped me and told me I was just a best friend. There’s nothing special between us for her. I was just a best friend she likes to hang out with, a best friend she’s teaching how to dance, a best friend she could lean on when she’s crying, a best friend and just a best friend.

“Hey day dreamer! We’re here!”

My sister shouted as she immediately opened the door and went out of the car. She turned around and took a deep breath. I went outside and looked around. This place changed a lot.

“You reckon she’s still here?” I asked.

“Of course! My friend told me! I’m certain of that!” my sister replied as she grabbed my arm and started dragging me.

We stopped in front of a house. My sister started knocking on the door. The door opened revealing my sister’s high school friend. She welcomed us inside her small house.

“You’re so pretty now!” she complimented my sister. “And your brother changed a lot.” I just smiled and looked around. I wonder why we are here. We’re supposed to be at her house.

My sister’s face changed into a serious one. They started looking into each other as if they are hiding something from me. I don’t know but I feel nervous.

“So…” my sister started to say. “Hyunseung, listen carefully.”

“What is it?” I asked out of curiosity.

Her friend took a deep breath. “Jessica... she’s not living here anymore.”

“WHAT?” I asked in a high tone. “Then… why are we here?” I asked my sister with a mad expression.

“We’re here to know something about her.” My sister replied.

“Last five years, when you left… she got pregnant suddenly… she became a in front of everyone’s eyes. She wasn’t able to finish her studies…”

“W-Who’s the father?”

“Her first boyfriend… after knowing that she got pregnant, he left her… she carried her problems alone… there’s no one on her side, nobody believes her…”

“W-Where is she now?”

She took a deep breath, “Hospital...”

“WHAT HAPPENED?” I asked with my heart beating rapidly.

I stopped in the middle of walking. I refused to believe. I doubt if everything’s just a joke. I was thinking harder. I was thinking if things would turn out like this if I haven’t gone away from her. I was thinking if I was just the one she loves… maybe she’s happy now.

“Hyunseung, she’s waiting for you.” My sister said softly.

I looked up to her with teary eyes, “I… I don’t know what to do when I see her! I don’t know what to say!”

“Why would you think about that in this situation? Why don’t you think of who she needs in this situation? She needs you! She needs you even before! Now it’s your time to pay those times when you’re gone.” She said with a serious expression.

I nodded and forced a smile. “Right,”

I started walking until I reached the room where she was. I twisted the knob slowly with my heart beating rapidly. I forced my feet to walk inside. As soon as I entered, I saw her.

She was lying there. She looked so weak.

“Jessica,” I whispered.

Her lips crept into a small smile. “You’re back.”

“I’m sorry,” I said with pitiful eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jessica.” I ran to her and hugged her tightly. She didn’t say anything but hugged me back. “I’m so sorry if I didn’t say good bye to you… I’m sorry if I just went away without telling you…”

“It’s okay. It already happened.” She said in a low voice. She sounded so weak.

I pulled back and looked at her directly into her eyes. “How are you? I mean… How’s your son? Where is he? Is he in good hands? Do you want me to get him?”

She just smiled. “You’re really my best friend.” Then tears started to fall on her cheeks.

“Hey…” I called her as I wiped her tears. “Don’t cry please… It’ll be bad for you…”

“Hyunseung… they don’t believe me… they call me … they don’t want to help me… no one wants to help me… nobody’s visiting me… nobody knows…”

“Shhh…” I tucked her hair behind her ear and wiped her tears. “I’m here now. I believe everything you say. I don’t care whatever they call you. I will help you in any way I can. I will visit you as often as I can.”

She rested her head on my chest then I wrapped my arms around her shoulder. “I missed you… I wish you’re here in all those times… I would have been much stronger… I should have fought this disease…”

“We’ll fight together now. I will never leave you alone again.” I whispered and kissed her forehead.

“Hyunseung…”

“Let’s talk about happy things Jessica… Let’s forget the problems… Let’s escape the reality for once…” I said as I tried to fight my tears from falling.

“Okay,”

“Do you know… that it has always been my dream to dance with you..?” I said with a soft smiled. She looked up to me with a shocked expression.  “When you used to teach me before… even though I’m saying I was so annoyed of you, it’s not true… The truth is… I’m enjoying those times… I enjoy being with you…”

“Then let’s dance,” she said with a light smile.

I stood up and searched for my phone. I started searching for the song I wanted to dance with her. “Shall we?” I asked her for her hand. She smiled and reached for my hand. I helped her to stand up. “Are you sure you can stand up?”

“Yes, I can.” She smiled.

She placed her arms around my neck while I placed mine around her waist. We were looking into each other’s eyes while the song started to play. The song was Jason Mraz’s ‘I Won’t Give Up’.

“My son… I named my son after you…”

“Really? That’s great. I should see him soon.” I replied with my heart aching.

“Won’t you ask why?” she said.

“Why?”

“That day when you left… I was so depressed… Do you know why?”

“Because you don’t have your best friend anymore,” I answered.

“No,”

“Why?”

She smiled and hid her face. “I don’t care about his father, actually… I don’t care if he won’t be back to take responsibility anymore… I don’t care about him… I don’t know but… I was thinking he was you… I want him to be you… I thought he was you… I… Hyunseung, I love you…”

I closed my eyes and that’s when my tears fell. “W-Why didn’t you…”

“Do you know why I was always talking about my crush? Because I want you to get jealous!” she laughed softly. “He wasn’t actually who I like…”

“Jessica… I don’t want to leave that day… but… you proved me that you don’t need me anymore… You proved me that you can live without me… you’re always with him, right?”

“Because I was trying to know what I would feel if you’re gone… I was trying to know what I was actually feeling for you… And I realized that it was too late…” She started crying again. “Hyunseung, have you never loved me?”

I shook my head and pulled her closer. “Jessica, I loved you… I love you up until now… and I will love you… forever.”

She smiled, “That’s enough…. I think I can go now…”

“W-What are you saying?”

She closed her eyes and slowly, she started to let go as if she’s gone unconscious. “Jessica? Jessica?” I shook her shoulders as she fell on my arms. “Jessica, please wake up!”