Part 1

Chorong fixed the creases on her shirt and carefully pressed them flatly while killing her time- anxiously waiting to be called in for the job interview. She thought she was going to let the creases slip away but looking at how other applicants dressed more presentable than she was, she couldn’t really let that pass.

I can’t screw this up. I’ve gambled too much to lose.

Chorong kept tangling her hands together during the seemingly long wait, and then forced them apart, only making her fingers redder and painful. She was feeling very fidgety and there was no way she could sit still.

Chorong looked around the busy information counter right across from where she and other applicants sat, hoping to catch something that might distract her mind from being pulled into negative thoughts of what-ifs.

“Applicant number 247, please step forward. I repeat, applicant number 247, please kindly rise and step forward.”

Chorong quickly raised her hand and jumped forward upon recognizing the number being called in front.

“Yes! I’m here!”

“Come quickly, miss,” the petite staff with greased black hair gestured her hand towards the glass door behind her. “Your turn is up.”

“Okay,” she breathed. “Easy now Park Chorong.”

Chorong mustered the last remaining strength to trick herself into thinking that despite the fear she felt, she should just do the interview and move on with it. It was that simple.

And she wanted to believe that desperately until she sat down on the single chair that was encircled by a round glass table in the middle of the meeting room. She looked up to meet the eyes of the questioner, until she realized the very pair of brown eyes was holding her gaze just as intensely.

“Park Chorong,” the firm voice came like a bullet through her numb head. Chorong jumped a little when another male voice from her left side called her.

“Park Chorong, I believe you are aware of your situation right now. You are here for an interview, right?”

Chorong stifled a small smile, embarrassed suddenly to be reminded of why she was there in the first place. She tore her gaze away from the grinning guy that was sitting right across her and she never felt infuriated and cheated in her entire life like now.

What in the ing world is Luhan doing here?

Luhan crossed his legs and let a sigh escape from his two lips, and that small movement alone made Chorong scream inside. She was losing her concentration. She could hear voices but couldn’t really make out the words. She listened to the questions but she was uncertain if she could give the right answer.

“It seems like you have come unprepared, Park Chorong,” said the lady wearing a loose bun pulled back on top of her head with a crooked smile. She leafed through another page of Chorong’s documents and stopped halfway when she heard no response from Chorong.

“Park Chorong, you do realize-”

“I’m sorry,” Chorong suddenly spoke out. She was sitting straight, clutching a fist while eyes were trained firmly on Luhan’s face who finally came to life. “I believe that, erm, maybe I have miscalculated.”

“Excuse me?” Another lady sitting at the end of the glass table asked spitefully. Chorong turned to face her, and the lady quickly flinched.

“I’m sorry,” Chorong repeated, fully aware of her own shaking voice and racing heart. “It seems like I have gotten to a wrong interview. This isn’t some kind of food company, right?”

Luhan tilted his head, amused and clueless at the same time. He thought his plan was flawless. He thought Xiumin did him the favor he asked. Now what was up Chorong’s sleeves? She couldn’t possibly be mad at him now, could she?

Luhan cleared his throat and raised his arm when he saw Chorong getting up.

“We have your resume, Park Chorong. You sent it to us earlier, remember? I don’t understand how you could’ve have gotten to a wrong interview.”

Chorong clamped shut her eyes and counted to 10 to manage her breathing. Her face was getting redder, and if Luhan were to speak one more word she might lose her self-control and just spill every profanities she has in store from the moment she saw him sitting there.

Chorong turned her back and walked out of the room, ignoring Luhan’s curious question.

Chorong stomped out of the enclosed, airless square and quickly undid her blaze button. She slammed the door and walked away towards the elevator. Other applicants who have yet to do interview were feeling more anxious looking at how furious Chorong seemed when she left the room. Little did they know what was actually going on in her heart.

That was not funny. She didn’t like what just happened at all.

Chorong punched the down button repeatedly, and she was getting more impatient to leave the building. Some guys were giving her the weird look but Chorong has bigger concern to think about.

The door finally gaped open, and Chorong took no time to step inside. She pressed button ‘B1’, where she parked her car, and slammed her body against the wall. The door began closing slowly before her eyes, until one hand held the door unexpectedly.

Chorong gasped, and rolled her welled up eyes when Luhan entered the elevator with a snigger. Luhan bowed at the guy who was riding the elevator along to excuse him for his rude interruption.

“I’m sorry,” Luhan pressed the open button. “But would you mind wait for the next turn? I need some private time with my girlfriend here. It’s been awhile since we last met, so we have a lot to talk about.”

Chorong smirked, unamused, as she took out her phone and pretended to occupy herself with Facebook. The guy wearing a red shirt on the other hand was glaring at Luhan as-matter-of-factly and scoffed as he continued to plug his ears. Luhan bit his lips and stared blankly at the guy.

Okay, so that didn’t work.

Luhan took out his wallet and fished out his business card and handed it over to the guy. He took it and quickly bowed 90⁰ degree at Luhan once his eyes fell on the second line written on the card.

“Yes boss!” He then got out and gave a broad smile to both of Chorong and Luhan.

Luhan waved slightly as a friendly gesture to the strange guy and drew back his hand when the door finally shut. He turned to Chorong, who was too engrossed replying comments, and took a closer step towards her.

Chorong, apparently, was not feeling tad bit attracted to whatever Luhan had in mind as she dismissed him completely when they finally arrived at the B1 floor. She walked past his shoulder and gathered her steps carefully and quickly towards her car. Luhan, feeling outcast and distressed, decided to follow suit.

“Chorong wait up! I need to talk to you!”

He ran and grabbed Chorong’s hand was who reaching for the door handle.

“ing touch me and I will scream,” Chorong warned under her breath without even glancing at him. Luhan froze, but still had his fingers wrapped tightly around her wrist.

“I need to talk to you,” he almost begged. “Please.”

Chorong shook her hand but she knew her effort was futile and meaningless compared to the strength of a grown up man. Chorong flickered up her eyes at him, and turned away quickly when she saw the same longingness displayed in his eyes.

“Chorong, I really need to-”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“What?”

“Do I know you? Who are you, sir? If you continue to harass me like this, you leave me no choice but to call the police. Now, either you let me go or we shall settle this matter in court.”

“What the -”

“Okay,” Chorong muttered breathlessly. She inserted her hand in her handbag and scrambled for her phone earlier. “Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.”

“It’s in your pocket. I saw you kept it in there.”

“Shut up,” she snapped harshly and Luhan shut his lips right away. He watched her took out her phone and tapped something on the flat screen, but before Chorong could utter another word, Luhan took away her phone and stick it in his back pocket.

“Give me back my phone, sir.”

Luhan pressed his body against the door and gave her a winning grin. “Seriously now,” he said. “Stop playing games with me, Chorong.”

“I need you to give me back my phone.”

“Chorong,” Luhan leaned forward. “Say my name.”

“Give me back my phone,” Chorong’s voice was beginning to shake.

“Chorong,” Luhan called softly, loosening the grip around her wrist because he was afraid of hurting her, and hurting her was the last thing he would ever do.

“Dammit Luhan just give me back my phone!” She finally cried and the tears that have been welling up in her eyes broke out and formed a line down her rosy cheeks. “You heartless dickhead, give me back my ing phone.”

Luhan gasped, fairly surprised and dumbfounded by Chorong’s unknown capability of using such strong profanities against him. But he knew deep inside how much he deserved it for all the pain and sufferings he had put her through.

Luhan handed Chorong her phone back, and without even looking at his direction, Chorong snatched her phone away and walked off. She wiped her tears and pushed her body into the car. She started it up, and stepped on gas right away before Luhan has any chance to stop her.

That mothering , I will never forgive him.

Part 2

“Heartless dickhead,” Luhan gasped, wild eyes stared intensely at the marble floor. “She called me heartless dickhead.”

“Well you did deserve it,” Xiumin tried to pat Luhan’s shoulders but retreated when Luhan lifted his chin. “I mean, Luhan, you were the one to leave her, right? It’s only normal if she’s mad at you. Look at the bright side, she’ll skin me alive tomorrow when I go meet her.”

“At least she wants to have a physical contact with you. Xiu, you should’ve seen her face. I’ve never seen that look in her face.”

“You only came back from China last week after 5 years, Luhan. And you only saw her yesterday. What were you expecting after pulling such jokes on her?”

“It was not a joke. I was serious of hiring her. I was serious of getting her back.”

“Dude,” Xiumin heaved a sigh looking at Luhan’s pathetic state. “Give her some time. You can’t expect her to fall head over heels for you after years of zero communication. Seriously man, you cannot just shove love and physical contact in her face after years long of not talking to one another. Chorong was nice enough not to kick you face. If it were me, God knows where you would end up by now.”

“Oh God,” Luhan leaned back, wry-faced and frustrated. “I just missed her. That’s all.”

“I know,” Xiumin said calmly. “Just give it some time. You’ll get her back, okay?”

“I don’t know, man.”

“Trust me,” Xiumin leaned close to Luhan and squeezed his shoulder. “I know.”

…

“I really should hire someone to take out your life by now,” Chorong crossed her arms across her chest and slouched in the first thing Xiumin opened his mouth. He was willing to come to 20-minute long drive to the coffee shop as told by Chorong only to have her pulling a face on him.

“I was reluctant, Chorong,” Xiumin almost pleaded. “But you both are my friends and you cannot expect me to sit still when Luhan asked me a favor.”

“What about my favor, huh?” Chorong swallowed bitterly. “What about all the times I told you not to even speak of his name? Have you forgotten that already? Do you take my words lightly because you’ve been friends with Luhan longer? Is that it?”

“That is not true,” Xiumin grunted. “I love you both equally and I appreciate this friendship we have now-”

“Well guess what? It’s over now,” Chorong said finally in red eyes. Xiumin fell silence and rubbed his tired eyes.

“Chorong,” he called weakly. “I didn’t mean- “

“Shut up, Xiumin. You know what he did to me. You know how much he hurt me. How could you do this to me- to our friendship? I trusted you, but I guess I shouldn’t have done that.”

Chorong wiped her tears in fury and grabbed her purse. Xiumin turned and shouted her name but Chorong never bothered to glance back.

“Dammit,” Xiumin spat harshly and pounded the table. ”.” Despite the curious looks he received from the customers, he managed to brush it off. He was more concern of how he should tell Luhan about this matter- and basically how he should get his friend back.

…

Chorong pushed open her apartment door and slammed it hard behind her. She was gasping for more air after running up the stairs to reach her loft located on the 4^th floor. She was going out of her mind. She couldn’t think straight. She didn’t have the patience to wait for the elevator that was held up on the 6^th floor. She forgot for one moment the password to her loft. As patience was severely thinning out, Chorong finally rummaged through her purse and forced her key in. When she finally she got inside, the loud slam of the door startled her so deeply that she felt the ground was shaking and opening under her feet. Chorong closed her eyes, and tears finally broke out.

It came back. That same painful longingness came back, and she never felt so lost and lonely inside.

Part 3

Chorong felt a loud battering ring went off in her head when she heard loud pounds outside her apartment. She looked around, and realized that she had fallen asleep unknowingly on the cold kitchen floor. She was still dressed in her morning attire, the same outfit she wore to meet Xiumin. Chorong jumped when the loud pounding came back, reminding her that someone was still outside, expecting her open up her door. She gathered her pace slowly because of her numb feet towards the door.

“Hi,” Luhan breathed finally when he saw Chorong’s tired face appeared behind the ajar door. “We need to talk, please.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you. Go home.” Chorong looked down and pushed the door cloe but Luhan held it with his own hand out of sudden that it made Chorong jumped backwards.

“!”

“Chorong” Luhan called again and the firm tone in his voice got her electrified. “Please.”

Chorong raked her brown hair as she glared at him. “What is it?”

“Can I come in?”

“No,” she snapped and held her ground as firm as possible. “You can’t come in.”

Luhan took a deep breath as he looked into her red eyes, and it seemed crystal clear how much she has suffered from his wrongdoings when he sensed how withdrawn she had been around him.

“Please don’t drag Xiumin into this. I made him did it. I was the one to plan everything, so please don’t ruin your friendship over someone like me. This mess we have right now- I will fix it and I will make everything right, so if you could please forgive Xiu, I would be very grateful.”

Chorong scoffed, dumbfounded by Luhan’s strong will to make things right for Xiumin but not for her. It made her hate Luhan even more.

“I’m touched” she spat in disgust. “You want me to forgive Xiu? Okay. I’ll do that. Do me favor, though,” she said, gritting her teeth. “Answer my final question okay, and be honest with me please.”

“What?” Luhan asked, feeling shocked inside but he fought hard for his composure.

Did I matter to you, sweetheart?

When you left, did it hurt you so badly you thought death was suddenly a pleasant ending?

Did you miss me every time you close you your eyes?

Did you miss me when the night came and the moon was bright behind the stars?

Have you tried finishing your day without feeling like breaking apart from all the endless torment you feel every time you think of me?

Was it the same to you? Did we feel the same pain?

Or was it only me?

“Never mind the question,” Chorong shook her head finally after minutes of keeping her lips close together. Her aching heart suddenly grew numb behind her rib. “I already know what your answer’s gonna be.”

She stepped out her house, reached for him, caressed his back ever so perfectly and that one moment alone, they both were taken back to when they were 20- when they were neighbours, when things were perfect for them to talk about life and laugh at the same jokes.

Chorong looked deeply into his twinkling eyes, and her heart crippled by the old memories when she used to hold his gaze. Chorong drew closer and placed her trembling lips on his own and kissed him.

Luhan was startled, but he was finally relieved Chorong was ready to forgive him. He pulled her close and kissed her back with all the longingness he has for her.

Chorong cried when he cupped her head. Her grip around his coat grew tighter but she thought this fairytale should be over by now. If they were meant to be, there will be ways for them. But for now, she needed to give her heart a break.

Chorong pulled back and smiled at him. “Luhan” she said, leaving him breathless when she took another step back. “Don’t fix our mess okay. Don’t change anything. Just- don’t. Be it 5 years or 50 or 500 more, I never stopped thinking of you, I never stopped missing you and I never stopped having feelings for you. But I want nothing to be fixed about this mess we have, okay. You don’t have the right to come back and have me for yourself, Luhan. And I’m not mad at you. I’m just mad why things have to change between us in the first place. Go home, Luhan. I will now hold on to the beautiful memories we shared and I want you to do the same, okay? If we are meant to be, we will be. But until then, stop making plans.”

Luhan felt tears were coming out when she stood there and spoke those words calmly. He wanted to nod and agree with her but his heart felt like dying inside. He knew he ed up. He knew he was responsible to put them together into this state, but he couldn’t understand why she was strong enough to do this.

“Chorong,” he called in his shaking voice. Luhan was looking at her and she looked breathtakingly beautiful despite her tousled hair and her creased white shirt. “I still need you. I know I messed up. I know I broke your heart when I didn’t return your calls or send you letters. I know that, I do. And I’m sorry, but please don’t shut me out. I still love you and I’m more than willing to make things up to you. Just don’t give up on me now.”

“Luhan,” Chorong cried as well, and she had to lean against the door for her knees were losing strength. “Stop it.”

“Chorong, please, don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

“Goodbye, Luhan. Have a happy life for me, okay,” Chorong stepped inside and closed the door behind her. And instead of crying, she wanted to start smiling now. She walked into her bedroom, broken but composed. Finally, she has managed to free her heart.

Goodbye Luhan. I’m sorry you killed us, but my love for you never died. May life brings nothing but happiness too you. And pray for my freedom too.