I can't sleep tonight
wide awake and so confused
everything's in line
but I am bruised

3am.

It's been a week.

"I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy," she whispers in a frantic attempt to calm herself.

It's been settled. She left the police station with a warning, nothing more. Everything was fine, almost normal.

And yet, she was broken, broken into many pieces.

"I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy."

I need a voice to echo
I need a light to take me home
I kinda need a hero
is it you?

"Unnie?"

Noises. Shuffling feet. It's getting closer.

"H-Hyoyeon unnie?" Her voice trembles at the sight of her roommate.

"I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy! I'M NOT CRAZY!" She reaches the breaking point, collapsing in a heap of exhausted sobs. "Save me Joohyun. I'm not crazy."

Can you be my Nightingale?
Sing to me, I know you're there
You could be my sanity
Bring me peace, sing me to sleep

The maknae held her precious unnie in her arms, singing the tune of some comforting lullaby, until Hyoyeon fell into her much needed slumber.

Say you'll be my Nightingale

 

"Unnie, she's not recovering well."

Whispering. So much noise.

"Joohyun-ah, give her time to recover from her all this. He should have done that. Let her heal from this heartbreak."

Heartbreak.

Is this how it's supposed to feel like?

Somebody speak to me
cause I'm feeling like hell
Need you to answer me
I'm overwhelmed

"I heard that he got bailed out. Obviously didn't want to face the harsh media."

"We could have done something if we weren't sonyuh shidae. We could have sued him."

"It's too late now Joohyun. We signed the contract not to ever mention it again."

The noises were getting louder.
It paused momentarily, and suddenly the door opened cautiously, revealing the young baby-faced member. "Hyoyeon?"

Silence.

"Hyoraengi, I know how it feels." Taeyeon sat on the edge of the bed, carefully avoiding the tissues.

More silence.

"But you can't sit here waiting for him to come back, he's not good enough for you." She continued, not daring to even mention his name. "You have to move on."

A tear slid down her cheeks.
The silence lingered.

"DAMN IT, KIM HYOYEON! It's been a week! You don't talk, you move to schedules like a robot, you don't even eat properly! I'm worried for you, we're worried. Stop acting like a crazy, psychotic patient from the mental hospital!" The leader snapped, her tears falling too. It was hard to make their calm leader cry, and yet in this week alone it became a common sight.

Crazy.

"I'm not crazy." her voice broke.

"I'm not crazy." She repeated, looking up with dazed, sore eyes.

"I'M NOT CRAZY!" She drove into hysterics, sobbing her heart out, dragging everything she could find and slamming it to the ground.

I never see the forest for the trees
I could really use your melody

Taeyeon fled out of her room, crying her heart out, as Tiffany rushed to help the crying Hyoyeon.

I could really use your melody
Baby I'm a little blind
I think it's time
For you to find me

"I'm not crazy."

"No you're not, sweetie." Tiffany whispered, humming a soothing tune that slowly brought Hyoyeon into deep slumber.

 

"Why didn't we realize?" the pink princess murmured as she left the room.

"It's our fault. She covered up so well." Composed but definitely worried, Taeyeon found her way back.

"But the bruises were there, Taeng. We could have stopped it earlier. We were too foolish to think that it was made from her clumsiness." Tiffany sniffed, her emotions getting the better of her.

"I... I even bought oilment for her injuries and she smiled weirdly at me I should have known better!" Seohyun cried out, her pain evident in her eyes.

"She'll get better. She's a fighter. I know she will."

Can you be my nightingale?

Eventually, she found the best road to recovery.

Dance.

Rehearsals were scheduled for certain days of the week, but Hyoyeon attended all the training schedules, and even added more to occupy herself.

Intensive training became her refuge. She tried to join in conversations, just to fake her happiness. She squealed when Tiffany told them that Nickhun was taking her to LA for a holiday. She laughed when Sooyoung and Yoona accidentally swapped flower bouquets sent by Kyungho and Seunggi.

Yet the girls knew how broken she was. No one was fooled, not even the usually clueless Jessica.

"Hyoyeon you need a break?" The ice princess questioned after non-stop rehearsals that went on until 2am.

Her voice stressed that it wasn't just a break from dancing, but a break from everything.

"No, I'm fine." Hyoyeon replied wearily.

"Let's continue, shall we?"

 

I don't know what I'd do without you

3am.

It's been so long.

Still some nights she couldn't help but let out a lonely sob under the safety of her blanket.

Either Seohyun was used to it, or she gave up caring after awhile.

"Hyoyeon unnie?"

A different voice. Not the maknae's.

She stopped mid-sob, pretending to sleep.

"Hyoyeon."

Yet another voice.

Your words are like a whisper cutting through

Slowly, she lifted the covers up, revealing two worried members, Yoona and Yuri.

"What is it," she attempted a cheerful tone, but failed miserably as her voice cracked.

"Unnie, I missed you." Yoona whimpered as she hugged the blonde one.

"What are you talking about I see you everyday!" Hyoyeon tried to laugh, her tears threatening to fall again.

"You're not Kim Hyoyeon. You're different. You used to tease me about being too dark. You used to hug Seohyun every morning, but now you just greet her halfheartedly! She's hurt too you know. You're hurting everyone around you." Yuri, being the blunt one, blurted out.

"Where's Seohyun?" The blonde one ignored Yuri's words.

"She decided to stay over at her parents house. You don't even know that your roommate is gone?"

"..."

"Come back home, Hyoyeon. I should hate him for causing your pain, but I know that you wouldn't want me to. The past is over, he's gone. Don't let him change you into someone we don't know." Yuri's brown eyes met Hyoyeon's teary ones, and the room mates left the room.

 

The following night, all 9 members sat down in a circle in front of their dorm.

It was a rare occasion, and the first time in years, since most members slept at their parent's house now, and not at the dorm.

Sooyoung was hugging her stuff toys that she hadn't seen in months.

Jessica was texting her sister Krystal, as if one night without the younger ice princess would kill her.

Hyoyeon lay down with pillows surrounding her, pretending to be sleeping, but secretly she was afraid of what this was going to bring.

"Ok! We used to do this every night last time but um..." Taeyeon trailed off, obviously reminiscing about their fun filled (but tiring) nights.

"Let's start simple. How was your day?"

Sooyoung nudged the maknae, as everyone stayed silent. Sighing, the maknae smiled. "Today umma treated me with barbecued goguma, so I'm feeling great today!"

"You should've invited us," Yoona pouted, her inner shikshin side showing as Sooyoung nodded enthusiastically.

"Today Taeyeon made us stay in the dorm for some 'bonding' even though we see each other every day already, so I'm feeling annoyed." The ice princess glared menacingly at the dork, making her gulp and look away.

"Ok.... Um Hyoyeon, how about you?" Sunny broke the ice as she gave a pointed look at Taeyeon, silently screaming:

'Don't mess this up. It's our chance to ask her what's wrong.'

"Today I went for dance rehearsals, and then I ate sandwiches, and then I-" Hyoyeon started, before she was rudely interrupted by Yuri.

"We meant what you felt about today. Not what your schedules were." She spoke bluntly, and was eventually nudged by Seohyun's pointy elbow, making her wince.

"Oops," Yuri muttered as she watched Hyoyeon tear up.

"Fine. I'm feeling crappy ok? I don't want to talk about it, and neither should you be digging into my life. You're worse than those bloodsucking paparazzi." She snapped, but when she realized what she just did, she broke down into tears. "I'm sorry..."

"Awwww unnie!" Seohyun was the first to react as her useless unnies sat at the side watching Hyoyeon cry. Being the good maknae she was, she went over to give the dancing queen a huge hug.

Soon the rest of the girls piled on to the 8-way hug (except Jessica; she wasn't hugging - she was squeezing Hyoyeon to death).

As long as you're with me here tonight, I'm good.

They waited for her to share more, and she did,

"I tried to be a good girlfriend and all he ever did was tell me how ugly I looked. Even after I changed my makeup style he t-told me I was a troll," she sniffed, grabbing Sooyoung's stuff toy (that she had kindly lent). "I ignored the... b-beatings b-but it hurt, it really did."

"Well screw him! We tell Yuri she's ugly everyday," Tiffany rolled her eyes and smacked the dark kkab.

"YAH! I'm still hurt over that ok!" Yuri pouted and was immediately bombarded with pillows.

"And you know what unnie? I think you made the right choice in defending yourself that night. If you hadn't hit him, you would still be in his hand now," Seohyun smiled, using her wise maknae knowledge.

"Who cares if he made a police report? He basically just turned himself in," Sooyoung scoffed.

"Yeah! Who needs boys when you've got girl power?" Jessica grinned, grabbing tissues for the poor dancer.

Sooyoung, Yoona and Tiffany giggled awkwardly as the ice princess glared at them.

Her glare was so cold it probably froze the whole of Korea.

"Y-yeah sometimes I ask Khun to carry my bags," Tiffany offered, gulping when Jessica's expression became colder, it probably froze Korea and America. 

"Whatever Jessica's saying, is that we're here for you. It's been so long and you've just locked yourself up we really miss our choding," Taeyeon  quickly spoke before Jessica started world war 97272 with the other American again.

"We'll share food with you and give you pointless makeup and fashion advice! And who cares what he thinks? He's missing out on a blazing hot girl," Yoona laughed with that alligator mouth she has opened widely.

"THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!" Sunny and Sooyoung sang (quite terribly to be honest) while Jessica whacked them menacingly.

The 5-minute talk turned into a full blown sleepover, but who would have complained?

Say you'll be my nightingale, oh

I'm sorta back? I've been so busy with work and everything, it's my major exam year, and ugh stuff just aren't working out.

I wrote this before the Sewol incident, and after it occurred, I didn't want to be disrespectful and upload something so dark.

I'll try to finish switched, I really promise to!

But thanks for reading this, I'll be back...

- SNSDobsessions