Deer Luhan,

Is it just me, or is Sehun a dark horse just waiting to join Lay’s little band of erts?  Just how did we end up discussing kinks?

Leigh

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been contemplating the white, flat thing in front of me, but it still hadn’t moved, and at this stage, I reckoned it wasn’t going to move.  It was about two metres away… I thought, and there was a large grey spot that darted around it whenever I moved my eyes.

“Ceiling,” I said.  “That’s the word I was looking for.”

There were muffled chuckles all around the room.

“The novelty of the morphine is never going to wear off,” D.O. said with a grin.

“Shut up, D.O.racula.”  I turned to Kai, who had decided it was his turn to sit in the chair today.  “Can you help me out of bed?  I want to walk around.”

It had to be at least the fifth time I’d asked over the past couple of days.  I wasn’t sure if ten days in a coma had added to it, but a full week awake and confined completely to bed was making me very restless.  Which was ironic, because I was getting plenty of rest.

Kai bit his lip and looked around to Luhan, who was sort of in charge as to what did and didn’t happen to me when the nurses and doctors weren’t there.

“No.  The doctors don’t think you’re ready yet.”

“But it’s not fair!” I whined.  “I want to get up!”

“Leigh….”  Kai sighed.  “You can’t even sit up yet.  I don’t think you’re going to be able to walk.”

I felt like throwing something across the room.  Unfortunately, there was nothing nearly close enough for me to reach, and I also had so many tubes and wires sticking into me that I wouldn’t have been able to throw something even if I hadn’t had a cast on my throwing arm.  But I needed fresh air.  So badly.  So I tried a different tack.

“What about in a wheelchair?  One of you can push me around.”

Kai glanced at Luhan again.  Luhan’s firm gaze faltered when I shot him puppy eyes.

“Please?  I’m going to turn into a ghost and the air here is so stale.”

Reluctantly, Luhan unhitched himself from the wall.  “I’ll go ask.”

The second he was out of the room, Chen bounced onto my bed and started smothering my face with kisses.

“Congratulations!  You finally got rid of limpet number one!”

“Chen!  Get off!” I protested, trying to twist my head away.  “You’re like a rabid dinosaur!”

Chen started laughing, but didn’t let up on his attack until he was forcibly hauled away by Sehun.

“Don’t.  You might hurt her.”

“Ah, limpet number two!”  Chen clung to Sehun, wrapping his legs around the younger boy’s waist.  I personally thought Chen was the one who was being the limpet, but I wasn’t sure how much morphine or whatever the painkiller was (I’d been told it was stronger than morphine) was still in my system.  “Sehun, are you going to kiss her better?”

“No.  Go away.”

“But Sehun, she’s in pain!”

“I don’t condone voyeurism,” he responded with a straight face.

“That’s fine.”  Chen let go of him and dropped lightly to the ground.  “We can just all clear out.”

“Do you want me to hit you?”

“Sehun!” I objected as he took a threatening step towards Chen.  “Don’t be a bully.  Why are you always a bully?”

Silence fell.  Chen’s sh*t-eating grin faded as he and Sehun turned towards me, Sehun faltering as he lowered his arms.

“W-what?”

Kai pressed a hand to my forehead.  “I think she’s still confused.”

“I’m not.”  I tried to gesture to the tablet Kris had lent me last night.  Or maybe it was a few nights ago.  “I was reading it on there yesterday after you all left.  Sehun’s always a bully.  And you’re going out with D.O.”  I shifted my gaze from Kai to the boy in question.  It was the best I could do in lieu of pointing.

There was another very long pause.

“Have you been reading fanfics again?” Luhan asked from the doorway.  “Because I am not letting you leave the room if you have.”

Kai took the tablet off the nightstand and checked through its internet history.

“Yep, she has,” he said, turning it around to show the others.

Lay closed his eyes with an expression of pained tolerance.  “Kris, if you encourage her to do this again, I will personally ensure you’re incapable of having kids.”

Kris grinned brightly.  “Guilty.  But I thought she should have something to entertain her.”

Suho looked between the EXO-M members, confused.  “Wait.  What’s so bad about her reading fanfics?”

“Kris gets her to read all the rated ones,” Chen explained.  “Or he tries to.”

“Yeah, we got attacked by her because of him,” Lay added, jabbing a finger in Kris’ direction, “because he got her to read one where he was a freaking serial killer.  I thought I was never going to breathe again.”

“Whoa, Kris,” said Kai, “why is there a sh*tton of linked on here?”

“Tao reads it.”

“What?  I do not!”

“Okay, okay, they’re all links fans have sent me.  I don’t actually know what’s in half of them, and I don’t intend to find out.”

“A lot of , from the looks of it.”

“BaekYeol are the kings,” I agreed, making them all cringe.  Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun.

“Baek, get yourself a girlfriend quick,” Chanyeol told him, deadly serious.

“And Luhan’s always either pregnant or the secret jerk,” I continued.

“What the ?” Luhan spluttered.

“And Lay’s always the world’s best doctor or something and there’s always a unicorn in there somewhere—”

“Wait, you’ve actually read some of these?” Kai demanded, putting the tablet down.

“And you’re either a total ert or playboy or both,” I told him.  “Actually, you’re basically the EXO version of Harry Styles in fanfiction.  It’s kind of disturbing.”

They all just gaped at me.

“I only read the descriptions and comments!” I defended myself.  “Do you really think I could read that many fics in one night?  Not to mention how dist