Luhan stared at Nanami as she smiled towards her mothers grave. She turned to him and studied his blank expression "do you want me to leave, were you not finished talking to her?" she asked shyly when Luhan didn't reply Nanami stood up to leave.

"wait" Luhan muttered grabbing her wrist 

Nanami stayed still as Luhan clutched onto her without saying anything more. It felt like a life time before he finally spoke again "You can stay, just don't look at me when i talk"

Nanami turned to him and frowned slightly "maybe i should just leave.. i think that would"

"Sit" he ordered letting go of her wrist 

Nanami did as she was told and sat down with him again. Luhan let out a small sigh and continued talk to Renka. 

"Sorry that i never wrote to you when i promised i would keep in touch, moving from country to country constantly i didn't think it would be so hard to stay in contact but i was, it was harder then i imagined and i didn't know that you passed away from a long time, i didn't find out till i was back in England and for that i am eternally sorry"

Nanami stayed quiet as he talked comfortably with her there. Never would she think that Luhan would actually want her to be around him at such a sentimental time when he didn't want her around at normal times like at school. She stayed looking away as he had asked not wanting to offend him when he was willing to share such a moment with her. However she really couldn't help herself and she looked at him through her peripheral vision. She saw how genuine he was with his words, a spectrum of emotion was over his face, something she had never seen before other than his usual blank and once in a blue moon smile. Without realising she had completely turned to him and was staring at him in wonder. 

Luhan hadn't noticed yet and was still apologising to Renka for all the years of negligence and the loss of contact. In his heart Luhan felt terrible because even though his last encounter with Renka he made her think he was moving on but in reality he hadn't moved on at all. Even with the name of someone who he was connected to he didn't nothing with that information for almost 17 years. He continued to love her no matter where he went. When he found out that she had died when Jongin called him back to England. The guilt he felt over the fact he didn't bother to stay in contact with her, that he never visited, that he never sent a single letter or anything made him feel so overwhelmed that he moved as far away from Korea as he could, he didn't want to face the music of his own guilt, he didn't want to imagine someone he loved with every inch of his heart was dead. He couldn't and he refused. However the longer he stayed away the more guilt he felt till he couldn't take it anymore and he decided that he had to move back to South Korea to let the dust lie and settle his feelings for Renka once and for all. Little did he realise that he was going to be meeting Nanami on the very same day that he finally mustered up the courage to visit Renka.

"I'm sorry for it all Renka, and.." he finally stopped talking after what felt like a life time he took a long breath "wo ai ni, dan wo bixu rang ni zou" 

Nanami continued to stare at him with confusion, she wanted to ask what he said but she stayed quiet "Gaobie" he said standing up and bowing to her

Luhan let out a deep breath and smiled to himself "I told you not to look at me and you did the whole time" Luhan muttered turning to her "I ask one thing of you and you can't even do it"

Nanami laughed awkwardly "I'm sorry, i just.. i uh"

"Doesn't matter" Luhan continued to smile digging his hands into his jacket pockets "I'm gonna go, you talk with your mother"

Luhan stared to walk off away and she turned back to her mothers gave "Eomma, hello, i love you, i miss you every single day but i feel like Luhan needs me right now, is that weird? i think it's fate, like you said, the whole time he was talking the string was turned a deep red especially when he started speaking in Chinese, as much as i want to stay and talk, i need to go. I will be back tomorrow, i'll tell you how it goes Eomma, i love you i hope you're happy where you are, bye bye" Nanami quickly got up and started running after Luhan who was already at the gate of the cemetery 

"LUHAN!" she called loudly sprinting towards him at full speed

Luhan looked over his shoulder and stopped walking "yes?"

"I know" she puffed standing behind him "I know this is going to sound weird but do you want to go do something?"

"Do something?" he repeated looking ahead again 

"You don't.. you don't have to if you don't want to i know tha-"

"Okay" he replied walking ahead 

She stayed in still not believing what she had just heard "Okay?"

"Okay" he repeated 

"Okay!" Nanami smiled widely as she ran after him.

"How long do you plan to play with Nanami?" Jongin asked serving up his dinner 

Sehun looked up from his book with a raised eyebrow "Play?" he asked thoughtfully "I wouldn't call it playing, i purely enjoy her company"

"From what i have been seeing, it's more than simply enjoying her company"

"I don't see why you care" Sehun retorted going back to concentrating on his book 

"How much damage do you intend to do before you are satisfied with the result?"

Sehun smirked a little "stop digging around in my head Jongin, i can feel you in there, get out" 

"If you'd just tell me then i wouldn't have to, i don't like not knowing things Sehun you know that" Jongin replied

"Why do you always make me out to be the bad guy? Maybe i just want to have someone to love as well" 

"You don't love her"

Sehun smiled again closing his book and resting it on the table "How can you possibly fall in love with someone you barely know Jongin? Of course i'm not in love with her, not even in the slightest but she has my complete and undivided attention, something no one has had for many many years so can i just enjoy it without you think i'm maliciously trying to ruin poor little deer Luhan's life for once? I get it he's the youngest, he's the last person to have to drink the water and i understand that you are worried about him but you can't protect him from everything Jongin "

Jongin frowned as he grabbed his chopsticks "Sehuna, i don't think as lowly about you as you think i do, Sehun you are one of the most talented of the eleven i have a great respect from you, i treasure you like a son but it is also like that with Luhan, you two are very important to me whether you think you are or not" Jongin bit into his beef and smiled a little "I know i can't protect you both but i can try" 

Sehun let out a sigh and rubbed his temples "Being a dad must be tough"

Jongin laughed loudly and looked at Sehun "I wouldn't call myself a dad more like a cool uncle right?"

This time it was Sehun's turn to laugh "Yeah okay" 

"Do you think you could love Nanami?" Jongin asked calmly 

"No" Sehun replied reopening his book "She isn't mine to love" 

Jongin nodded "That never stopped Luhan"

"I'm not as weak as Luhan" Sehun replied reading his book again 

Jongin muffled his laugh and nodded again "yeah of course" 

Sehun ignored Jongins comment and continued reading. The two sat in silence till they both heard the door open "I'm home" 

"Luhan, are you hungry? i made dinner" Jongin smiled as Luhan walked into the kitchen 

"I have a question to ask" Luhan replied ignoring the question as he went to sit at the table

Sehun put his book down recognising his serious tone "what is it?" he asked curiously 

"When's the right time to tell Nanami about us?"

Word Meanings:

wo ai ni, dan wo bixu rang ni zou = I love you but i have to let you go 

Gaobie = Goodbye

((accuracy with the first sentence could be off))