Hankyung…

Every year for the past 3 years on the same day, Valentine’s Day, I would write a love letter. I would arrive at school very early in the morning to place the love letter on your desk only to take it back a few minutes later because I decided to give it to you personally instead. During the whole day, I would observe you and look for a good chance to give the love letter to you. Every time I see a good chance, I would take a few steps towards you only to take a left, right or perhaps a U-turn because I would often lose my courage. By the end of the day, I would feel regret and disappointed. I would hate myself for being such a chicken, for not being able to confess to you or do such a simple act of giving this letter to you. Today, I feel that this letter will have the same fate as the other letters.

But even if you don’t get to read this letter, I still want to pour out my feelings. Since the moment you stepped inside our classroom and introduced yourself as a new student, I was one of the people who instantly got a crush on you. I wanted to be your friend but I’m shy back then as I am right now. I couldn’t even do a simple thing such as introducing myself to you. Every day I kept my distance but I was contented watching you from afar. Because from afar, nobody would suspect me from having this silly crush on you.

As time passed by, my feelings for you got deeper. I learned that you aren’t such a great person as everybody thought you are. You were intelligent and always top in class. However, you are considered as the less intelligent child in your family. You were skillful in Chinese martial arts, always emerging as the winner in battles. However, you were such a cry baby when the nurse attended to your wounds. You were a great dancer and a fast learner but if there’s one dance you can never learn, it’s fire dancing because you have experienced it once and the burn left a scar on your arm. All of your good sides have its own bad sides but still, I accepted and loved all of them.

I love you. I want you to know that from reading this letter. I also want to tell you personally. But you’ll never know because this letter will never reach you. If I can’t even have the courage to give this letter to you, then what are the chances of confessing to you personally?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hankyung’s reply:

I want to know who you are but it’s going to be hard because I’m sure that a lot of people would claim that they wrote this love letter. I’ll just wait for you to have the courage to tell me personally and prove it to me that you are truly the one who wrote this letter.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was March already. One month already passed by since Valentine’s Day. During the middle of every month, an issue of the school magazine will be released. Right now, Donghae can’t believe that he was reading the love letter that he wrote in the school magazine when he actually remembered throwing it in the trash bin. He was just grateful that he didn’t write his name because he’ll probably die from embarrassment. But then again, if he wrote his name, Hankyung wouldn’t have published the love letter and would have gone straight to him instead.

“Are you okay? You don’t seem to look good.”

Donghae assumed that he probably looked pale or about to have a heart attack or something from being so shock. He looked up to the speaker and got more shocked because for the first time, Hankyung actually spoke to him.

A while ago, Hankyung was actually busy talking with his friends. But then, he noticed Donghae enter the classroom. Ever since he read the love letter, he had been observant of his classmates because the love letter was found in the trash bin of their classroom so he was sure that the person who wrote the love letter was one of his classmates. But today was the first time he had noticed Donghae. He knew that there was person named Donghae in his class. His other classmates mentioned Donghae’s name a few times before but he never really knew how Donghae looked like until now.

Hankyung watched how Donghae slipped inside the classroom silently as if he was invisible. He carefully placed his bag down and sat on his seat. He flipped open the school magazine and paused. His eyes getting wider. His skin getting paler. It also looked like he was having a hard time breathing. That’s when Hankyung stopped talking with his friends and decided to go to Donghae and ask if there was something wrong. While asking about Donghae’s state, he got a look at what Donghae was reading. It was the love letter page in the school magazine.

Donghae looked away quickly as soon as his eyes made contact with Hankyung. “Just fine.” Hankyung was finally acknowledging his existence but what was he suppose to do now? He became tensed and moved away as Hankyung leaned close to observe him.

“Can you write something for me?”

“Huh?”

“Write my name.”

“Uh…okay….” Donghae was clueless and confused but still wrote Hankyung’s name on a piece of paper.

“Thanks.” Hankyung smiled and took the paper. Donghae wondered what that was all about. But Donghae’s thoughts were cut off when a female student entered the classroom and claimed to have written the love letter to Hankyung. It was not the first time this happened. In fact, there had been a lot of students who claimed to be Hankyung’s secret admirer but Hankyung was never convinced.

“You should all know that I really don’t like liars so please stop claiming to have written the love letter.” That’s what Hankyung would always say when he rejects the person. But today, he had something new to say. “I already know who wrote the love letter. He’ll never be the type of person to come straight to me and confess in front of the entire class just like what you and the others did. Right, Donghae?” Hankyung held up the paper in which Donghae had written his name. That’s when Donghae realized that Hankyung probably recognized his handwriting from the love letter.

All the people inside the classroom turned their heads to Donghae. Donghae simply sat there in shock. “Hahaha…I don’t know what he’s talking about…excuse me…I need to use the toilet.” Donghae laughed nervously and left the classroom hurriedly. As soon as he got inside the comfort room, he hit his forehead on the mirror. “Gawd…that was too obvious…” He closed his eyes and wished for the mirror to just swallow him up.

Donghae decided to just skip his classes and hanged out at the school’s rooftop. How the heck was he suppose to go back in the classroom now that everybody knows? He doesn’t know how to face his classmates. He never existed to them but now, everybody knows him. All because of a stupid love letter.

“Donghae…” Donghae turned and saw the Hankyung was just standing right beside him. He tried to walk away but Hankyung had a tight grip on his wrist, not allowing him to escape. “Don’t you think it’s time for you to stop running away? Stop distancing yourself. Stop trying to be invisible.” Donghae stopped struggling but he still had his head hung low.

They stood like that for a while. Hankyung’s tight grip started to loosen but he was still holding Donghae’s wrist. After some time, Donghae finally to lifted his head up. He winced at his stiff neck. “It’s your chance, you know.” Hankyung spoke, which made Donghae look at him questioningly. “It’s your chance to confess to me personally.”

Donghae blushed and opted to look at the houses and other buildings instead. Hankyung could clearly see that Donghae was struggling with himself. “I…uh…well…” Donghae started to sweat. His heart was beating way too fast to count. He took a deep breath and somehow got the courage to look at Hankyung straight in the eyes. “You said it yourself that I wouldn’t be the type of person to confess to you personally.”

Hankyung grinned. “You’re too shy for your own good.” Hankyung’s hand that was holding Donghae’s wrist moved to hold Donghae’s hand and clasp their fingers together. “But I guess that’s what attracted me to you.”

A short article in the latest issue of their school magazine.

Donghae’s shyness and handwriting were proofs that he was the real secret admirer who wrote the love letter. He still didn’t confess to me. He still didn’t say the three special words. But I guess that doesn’t matter. Because he never fails to write ‘I love you’ in his love letters to me everyday.

I never wrote a love letter to Donghae so I decided to take advantage of my position as one of the writers for the school magazine. I’ll just write it here instead and let all the people in school know about it.

I love you too, Donghae.

THE END

A/N:  If you liked this then I think you'll like my Hankyung/Sungmin fic titled "Because I'm Just a Fanboy"  and also my Kibum/Ryeowook fic "Writer Of Love Letters".  

Last but not the least.... comment please~!!! <3