~FIND ME A HAPPY PLACE?~

"Arrival"

My nightmares began when I dream of myself back inside my house. I don't know why but instead of going outside, I walked towards the living room. I knew that I would see my father there but somehow, he was gone. I didn't found him lying in his couch as he was supposed to. Instead, I found nothing but an empty room. Then I heard cries coming from the kitchen. That made me walk towards it and then I froze at what I saw, It was my mother.

She was standing beside the table, covering her face with her hands as she cry. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to kiss her on the cheek and just be with her. I missed her so much but I can't. My feet seems to be stuck like glue on the spot. 

I heard her say the words, "He's dead! MY HUSBAND IS DEAD!"

Those made me realize that in this dream, the one who got shot in the head was my father. 

Then mother let down her hands. I gasped at what I saw; her head is bleeding as her hands are. No! It seems like she got shot in the head but somehow lived.

"AND YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KILLED YOU'RE FATHER! HOW COULD YOU!" She started to scream at me as she started to lounge at me. Her eyes are no longer looking at me with love but with pure hatred. I wanted to run but my feet can't move. 

"I DIDN'T! I SWEAR I DIDN'T" I screamed.

"YOU PUNCHED HIM TO DEATH! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO YOUR FATHER! HOW COULD YOU!" she screamed even more. She started to throw the plates in the kitchen to me. Somehow the plates didn't hit me she kept on throwing the plates to me. I'm crying like hell as I saw her angry at me.

"MOM! HE LEFT ME WHEN YOU DIED!" I reasoned out, "HE ING LEFT ME ALONE! YOU DIED AND I ENDED UP ALL BY MYSELF!"

The last thing I saw from my dream was my mother trying to strangle me as she said the words over and over, "MONSTER! YOU ING MONSTER! YOU DESERVE TO DIE!"

I woke up with beads of sweat in my neck and forehead. I can feel my heart beat running fast because of the nightmare that haunted me. This was the first time since months for me to dream my mother like that. I wanted to talk to her about my feelings why I left my father but I know I can't, she's dead.

"Are you alright? You don't look so good" a soft voice asked beside me. I looked and saw Ji Eun. Her face shows concern for me. She was tugging my arm and for an instant, I felt a little better knowing she's here beside me. 

I tried to sound ok by saying, "I'm fine; Just a nightmare.”

"You want to talk about it?" she asked,

I smiled as I shook my head and held her hand, "Where are we? What time is it?"

She told me that the announcer said that we'll be arriving Seoul in about 15 minutes and it's around 6:49 in the evening. I asked if she slept while I' passed out. She answered me by telling me that she slept but she woke up about an hour ago. She told me about the things she saw in the road over the window. She told me she saw a field that has a couple of barn animals like cows and goats, a car that had a sign at its back "We got married", and many other more. I nodded and listened to her but I can't help but think about how attractive she looked. The more she saw new things, the more she smiles and looks like a happy person.

"... I even saw a mansion on the road. It's big and I loved it because its color is yellow." she told me.

"Would you like a house painted by your favorite color?" I asked her.

She nodded and said "Of course but... It would be unfair for you if we painted our house, yellow because it's my favorite color. What about yours? I know you would like to paint our house, violet since it's your favorite."

Our house?

That would be nice; me and her living in a house that is completely ours. Kind of like we're married and living together. That would be a dream come true to me. The idea of me working as I come home and seeing Ji Eun in a violet apron made my stomach feel fuzzy and warm. She would cook at me and---

"Joon Myeon, You're daydreaming again!"

"Ah? What?" I snapped.

I saw her face as she pouted her lips while saying, "You didn't answered my question. You blanked out."

"Sorry" I blushed.

She smiled and said, "Its ok. Just tell me what color we would paint our home when we get there."

I thought about an answer for a second.

I looked at her and said, "I don't care what color we would paint our home, just as long as you're in there to be with me. I'll be fine whatever design you choose"

"Oh", I could see a taint of red in her cheeks, "If you say so.. "

Then a voice said a loud inside the bus, "GOOD EVENING PASSENGERS. WE ARE NOW ARRIVING AT THE SEOUL BUS TERMINAL. WE HOPED YOU ENJOYED THE RIDE. E.T.A. IS ABOUT A COUPLE OF MINUTES. THANK YOU AND GOOD EVENING AGAIN."

I smiled and looked at the window. We are now entering the city of Seoul, capital of South Korea. I saw how Ji Eun smile as she saw the lights in every building lighted the city even if it's night. The city felt like it's our own version of New York City in America. The way that it looked as if the city is filled with stars because of the lights in every type of color made me happy. All in the entire city is wonderful and amazing.

After a minute, all of the passengers started to get their luggage because the bus is slowly entering the terminal. I stood up to reach our bag. I saw Ji Eun smiling by the window. She looks like a child as her fingers touch the window glass. The bus parked and a minute more, Ji Eun and I finally got out of it along with the other passengers of the bus.

"Oh God!" she gasped at the beauty of the city, "It's beautiful. Everything is beautiful"

She looked at me and I guess that is also my expression, amazed to the beauty of the city. She raised her hand as if asking me if I would want to come with her. She's smiling at me and I could not help but be mesmerized by the beauty that is in front of me. Even if she's wearing just her normal clothes, she looked breath taking with that smile, those eyes that sparkles, and everything about her is breath taking.

"Come on" she says, "I haven't got all night. Let's go!”

I smiled and took her hand as she dragged me all over the city. I'm filled with happiness even moments before it was filled with terror because of my nightmare I had with mother. It's all because of the woman who kept making my miserable life a happier one when she's there. I would be forever grateful to Ji Eun. She made me realize that a person like me could experience happiness even though I lost the right to be one many years ago.

~FIND ME A HAPPY PLACE?~

We walked everywhere as we travelled the city. Good thing we saw this lady at the terminal where she gives free map of the city. We took one to be our guide for the days to come by. As we walked, I can't help my heart skip a beat and blush because of our hands. She never let it go and of course, I won't be the one to let it go since I love holding hands with this girl.

Somehow, we decided to go to this park near at the terminal. As we went there, I noticed that Seoul is much bigger than I expected. I thought that Seoul would be just big as our former town but it wasn't. It's three times bigger and a lot more industrialized than I thought. Kind of stupid of me since this is the capital of South Korea. 

As we entered the park, It reminded me of the park in our former town. It was bigger but the crowd seems a lot more here. The lights also are pretty much everywhere so there won't be any places here in the park that is dark. There is a fountain in the middle and a lot of benches around. Ji Eun dragged me to the fountain and made the both of us seat.

"I like it here" she began,

"Why?"

"Because it reminds me of the park we left in our town. It makes me happy" I smiled at her. 

Then I saw something shimmer in the water inside the fountain, a coin. There were a lot of coins.

"Look!" I said to Ji Eun, "There are a lot of coins. Maybe we could take it and use it as our money". I grabbed a handful at the water but I felt a hand strike my arm. It made all the coins go back to the water. I looked at Ji Eun and saw her glaring at me while her hands are on her hips.

"What?" I asked, "It's a pretty good Idea".

But she just glared at me and said, "You can't take those coins. Don't you know that they're wishes that came from different people? They believe that if they throw a coin in this fountain, their wishes would come true."

"But we don't have any money." I reasoned.

She sighed and looked at me like I'm some sort of a kid, "Joon Myeon, I know your finding a solution to our problem in money. That's sweet of you but you can't take those coins for our selfish reasons. We will have to find a solution to that problem without taking any kind of money here in this problem."

I understood her point. 

"Ok, I'm sorry."

She sat beside me and said, "Now, Let’s think of an Idea to get us some money."

I thought of an idea, "We could rob a bank."

She looked at me like she doesn't believe what I just said, "JOON MYEON!"

I laughed and said, "It was just a joke."

She finally smiled and said, "Ok let's find a way to get us some money that would be pretty realistic and easy without any illegal doings."

"The idea of us robbing a bank is pretty funny. I'd be screaming like, GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES. While you point your finger to them because we don't have any kind of money to afford a gun."

She chuckled and said, "Sorry but I more of a loving person not trying to kill them."

I playfully asked, "Yeah? You don't seem to be a loving person". I'm a liar in every way.

"I am!" she smiled,

"Then give me once person in your list that you love?" 

That made her smile froze. I re-read what I said to her. I guess what I said made it look like I'm asking who she loves. Her face is blushing and I have a feeling that she's not the only one with a crimson face by now. She's suddenly became interested with her shoes as she tries to answer my question.

I wonder who she loves or even like…. Could it be I’m also a part of those people she liked?