~Lee Ji Eun's P.O.V.~

 

              I took a sip at my warm coffee, while sitting at the loveseat couch. It’s raining outside and all I could hear in the room are the raindrops that kept pouring at the roof. It made me think of how lonely I’ve been here in this house. It sent memories of me being all alone in my small apartment before I got to live here.

 

              Almost all my life, I’ve always been on my own. I lived in a small apartment that I always come home to when I’m done for the day as a trainee. While my parents are back in my former house. Just like today, I’m sitting beside the window as I stare the environment outside, holding a cup of warm coffee to warm me, and thinking about stuff that has come to past.

 

              Now, I’m thinking how life is pretty fast for my taste. It felt like yesterday, I just debuted as a solo artist at the age of 15. I remembered how happy I was that my life as a trainee was done and I could live my life as an artist and share my music. Everybody loved me back then.

 

              But all of those are before, in my younger days. I’m already 29 years old and many things happened back then. For an example, I became one of the most famous solo female artist in my age, my songs which I made by myself became a hit towards the people here in Korea and over the world, I got many awards for my songs, and released many albums with my name on it. Somehow along the way, I finally met him.

 

              I met the man who would someday be my loving husband, Kim Joon Myeon. Everyone knows him as Suho, The leader of the uprising Korean boy band, Exo.

 

              He came into my life like the first sweet day in spring. He managed to give me a new perspective in life. A life that I thought was plain and looked like a broken record. He made me see that somehow life is beautiful if only I had someone to share it. I did, with him. He and I shared this life and I can’t live my life without him. He’s my gravity. He keeps pulling me towards him, even without him knowing.

 

              He’s just like me, in a way. He’s also working in the field of music. We met because of some events that kept making the two of us see each other. We made small talks at first. He was shy those days around me because he was just starting to become famous, unlike me, I’m pretty much known by that time. I never really at first noticed his handsome features until we became close through texts. He somehow got my number to one of my friends.

 

              We became friends and somehow, he asked me if I could meet him from time to time. I said yes, even though I’m busy with my dramas and my unfinished album. Months came and those small text and conversations turned into much more. He called and texted me when he was free and I also did it back to him, every single day. He texted me every single morning when I wake up to smile and have a good day, He texted me every lunch hour if I ate already, and he was the last one to tell ‘Goodnight’ to me.

 

              All those things that he did to me, somehow made our relationship closer.

 

              The day he asked me if he could court me was pretty much one of the days I would never forget. He asked if we could meet secretly in his favourite place, Han River. We were both Idols that time and it would be a big issue if someone saw us meeting in such a place like that. Even though the risk is high, I said yes. He did something to me that every request that he made for us to meet and talk to each other personally, I would agree. I never wanted to admit it to him but I really do want to see and talk to him every time back those days.

 

              We talked while we’re walking at the park that day. He made me laugh as he told me what s did. ‘How could he easily make me laugh?’, that was the question that bugs my mind back then. He led me to a bench and made me sat there. He told me that he would be gone for about a minute and told me to stay there. I agreed as he smiled to me.

 

              A minute passed, I saw him walking towards me with a big smile on his face and bouquet of roses on his arms. I felt my heart beat turned fast as I saw him walking towards me. He’s handsome face smiling on me as If I’m the most beautiful creature on earth sent shivers down my spine. I can still remember the thing he said as he gave me those flowers.

 

“Here, take it.” He said with his soft voice, “I hope that you will find it pretty, just like you”.

 

              What he said made my face turn red. Most of the people I met told how I had a pretty face but unlike them, they never did have these effects on me. They never made my heart beat fast and make my face turn red with just their compliments. I never believed them but this man, his tone of voice and the way he looked at me made me truly feel that it’s true, that I am pretty.

 

              After that, he asked me if he could court me. He confessed how he finds me a very different woman, unlike others out there. He showered me with compliments about me being funny, true to myself and the most beautiful girl in his eyes. He told me how he can’t stop thinking of me and how he wants to hold my hand when we walk with each other. He also told me how much he wanted to hug me and kiss me, every now and then.

 

              In the beginning, I was afraid. I was afraid because of the future. What if I answered him, yes? Would he still be there even if we’re both busy with our careers? Would our relationship bloom even if our fans out there might shower us with their cruel words? But all of those fears and confusion went away, when I saw his eyes. Those eyes that touched my heart as it look me with hope.

 

              Somehow, I saw an image of us in his eyes. He would call me and he would ask us to have lunch in a secret place only we would know. We would be talking for hours until the sun came down. He would caress my face and tell me again, how pretty I am in his eyes. Then he would kiss me with his soft and perfect lips. I would feel safe and happy in his arms as we kiss in the moonlight. Everything would be fine, he made me feel.

 

“Yes” I answered him.

 

              That made him act as if he won the lottery. He fisted his hands in the air as he laugh in happiness. I laughed but when then he hugged my body and spins me around. Everything felt fine and great. He put me down as we both laugh in unison. I told him how he made me dizzy when he spun me around. He countered me by saying I loved it.

 

              He was right. He always was.

 

              Then he did something that made him different from all the other guys. He leaned in and kissed me on my forehead. My heart was bursting with a feeling that I never felt before in my life. I understood back then, why I said yes to this man. He was honest. He truly did love me and somehow.. I knew in my heart that I too, love him.

 

              He never stopped making me feel that as time went by.

 

              We secretly dated for two years back then. We acted differently in front of the media. We would not talk to each other but we can’t help but to look and stare at each other, occasionally. If we managed to be alone, just the two of us, we asked how the other one was doing, if they’re all right, even steal a short kiss.

 

              It all ended when some fan got a picture of the two of us, having dinner in a famous restaurant. Our company tried to hide these pictures but at the end, they got publish and we faced one of our biggest problem. They asked us if the pictures are real, if we were really dating and what were we doing that night.

 

              We finally told them our big secret. Everyone was shocked about our relationship. His co-members knew about our relationship and our families, they were the only ones who didn’t got shocked about us. We told the media that we’ve been dating for a while now. Some of our fans accepted and supported our relationship, but others, kept on saying things that we should break up because they’re thinking that we are not suitable for each other.

 

              I almost believed them. I was ready to fly to the idea of us being not perfect for each other. He was too nice and good for me. He would find many other ladies that are much prettier, smarter and special rather than me.

 

              But just like gravity, he pulled me down to the ground with him before I flew from those ideas. He kept me down with him, told me that he doesn’t care if there are women out there that are much greater than me. He told me that he can’t get rid of me in his life. That something makes him bring himself back to me. He told me again that he loved me.

 

              I cried in his arms as I noticed my stupid thoughts. He made me see that loving a person doesn’t mean he/she has to be perfect. But love works the other way around, True love would find the imperfect person and see them as perfect in their eyes.

 

“Don’t let me go.” I told him back those days.

 

              He chuckled and told me that he won’t ever set me free, only if I told him to. He told me how he would never leave me and always be there, even if every one left me. He would be always there, loving me and keeping me safe.

 

              I was falling deeper and deeper to him. Every word he told me made me love him even more and every action he made to me became proof of his love to me. It made me realize how I love him so much and that he’s all I need. I was drowning to his love and now I knew that I’m already a goner way back then.

 

              Years later, I retired from my career. It is all because of the question he asked me when he brought me for the first time to Jeju Island. I’ve been there before but being with him makes the trip new and fun. He prepared a fancy dinner date at the beach. It was summer when we went there. He prepared, lights, food, and a guy that played music with his violin.

 

              It was such a romantic dinner. It made me feel so special. The stars covered the black sky as we ate and talked about things. After we’re done eating, he made me cover my eyes with his handkerchief. He led me while holding my hands as we walked at the beach. He laughed and told me to trust him. I really do trust him. I trust him with my life.

 

              After a short walk, He whispered to my ear how he loved me again. It sent butterflies in my stomach. He commanded that I should open my eyes. I got rid of the Handkerchief and gasped as I saw what he did. He led me to a part in the beach where there were many different lights that created letters in the sand. It said, “Ms. Lee Ji Eun, Will You MARRY me?”.

 

              I was speechless back then. Everything felt unreal because of the things I’m seeing. He got into one knee and took a small box from his pocket. He showed me what was inside and I saw a ring, a ring with a big diamond in the middle. It was beautiful. I remembered what he told me back then.

 

“I love you, Lee Ji Eun.” He said, “I love you so much that it pains me if I never got to see your face at least once a day in my life. I always imagined what it would be like if I wake up in the morning seeing your beautiful face first. The thought of you walking at the altar in a wedding dress, knowing I’m gonna be the man that waits you at the end. Even the image of you, being pregnant as you make me find food for you makes me fuzzy at those thoughts. You said before that you don’t want me to let go of you, and I will. I will never let you go. This ring represents that promise. I want to marry you, Ji Eun. I want it so bad that I don’t care if my fellow EXO members tease me, Mr. IU or I got whipped by you. At least, that means your mine. All mine because you’ll be my wife.”

 

              I stared at his face for quite a long time as my brain process everything that he just said. His eyes were just like the day he asked me to let him court me. Full of hope that my answer would be yes. And I did. I hugged him so tight and he laughed as I say over and over to his ear the word, “Yes!”. He lost balance and that made both of us fell from the ground. Good thing that the sand is to soft and I fell on Joon Myeon’s body.

 

              “Yes.” I answered him again.

 

              He smiled so wide and took my hand even if we’re lying on the sand. He placed the ring on my ring finger. It felt perfect there. I heard him saying I love you to me. I answered him back with an I love you too. He was smiling like a dork but in my eyes, he’s still handsome.

 

              We kissed while lying in the sand, being his fiancé.

 

              We were both happy back then. It all felt like blur because time went fast. Once we were engaged, then a year after we were getting married. Everyone was shocked to know that the newly retired singer, me is getting married by the famous leader of EXO. Everyone was happy when they saw me walk at the aisle. Our marriage was the biggest hit back then. When I walked all I saw was the man at the end of the aisle. He was dressed in a black tuxedo. He looked so handsome and the thought of me getting married to him a few more minutes made my heart thump crazy.

 

              We got married by the month of May. He carried me to the car that has a note behind it that said, “We Got Married FOR REAL!”. It was his idea to put the FOR REAL part. He said that people might think that this is for the show WGM and think that we’re just pretending. I agreed because he insisted back then. It was kinda stupid because everyone knew that we love each other but I let it be because he’s funny; in a dorky sort of way.

 

              We spent our honeymoon at the beach in Hawaii. He was gentle and slow in our first time because he knew I was untouched. That night was very special; he said and did things that made me feel like a real woman. We spent a week there and flew back to South Korea only to find out that he already prepared this house for us.

 

              Everything was well and happy. Until the day he told me that he had already signed his name in the military.

 

              In Korea, a man should serve at least two years for his country or he would be arrested and put into Jail. This is the reason why I’m all alone sipping coffee in our house.

 

We fought that night so bad. It kind of defeated all the fights we ever had. I screamed to him about his promise about never leaving me. I told him how he’s breaking the promise he said to me. He said to me that he needs to do this for our promise to be fulfilled. I cried so hard because of the thought of him being away from me that night.

 

He tried to comfort me even though I pushed him away from hurting my feelings. I was scared and hurt that he’s gonna leave me for 2 years just to serve the country. I told him that he could just stick the country into his mouth and leave me be. I want to cry and be alone because I knew I would be like that once he leaves. I knew I should get used to the feeling of it. But he didn’t.

 

Being Kim Joon Myeon, He didn’t left but approached me as I sat on the ground while I drown in despair. He took a sit beside me and after a few moments, he was holding me and hugging me as I cry in his chest. I kept on crying and punching his chest to at least get the stress out but it didn’t.

 

All he did back then was hold me and kept on saying words that would calm me down with his soft voice. He saved me again that night. He saved me from drowning at my sorrow of him going away for 2 years.

 

“I’ll come back,” He promised.

 

After a few days, He left. He was not alone though. His friends were there with him, Xiumin, Kyungsoo, and many others decided to enter their names in the military.

 

I was alone again. He left me and took a piece of me as he went to the military. The first weeks were very hard for me. I kept on crying every night until I fall asleep. I was holding his pillow as I lay at our bed, alone and cold. My friends and family tried to visit me but even they cannot fill me with happiness that something Joon Myeon can only do.

 

I tried to visit him in the military like how I sang songs towards the military before during my trainee days. I had no connection for him for almost two years. I got better a few months after he left. I rarely cried in the evening because of the thought that someday, my Joon Myeon would come home. There were some nights where I would dream of him and somehow I would cry if it’s a nightmare about him being shot in the field. That made me wake up and cry until the sun came up.

 

He always told me that he would never let go of me. Now, I’m the one who would never let go of him. I thought as the days come by that I’ll always believe that one day, he would knock on that door and he would come back.

 

He will come back.

 

It’s been two years since he left. I don’t know when he will come back but I kept on reminding myself that he will come back. He promised and he will fulfill it.

 

I still feel him here, in this house. Sometimes I would go to our bedroom and take his clothes in the drawer. I held it in my arms as I imagined myself hugging him while I breathe into his smell. His sweet smell that always made me feel warm inside. It’s pathetic but I can’t help it because I need to feel him at least once in a while.

 

              As I finished my cup of coffee, the rain stopped pouring from outside. The clouds in the sky were slowly disappearing as the sun finally showing itself to the people. I smiled as I saw a rainbow in the sky. It made me feel happy even if my happiness can only be found in a military base miles away from me.

 

“He’ll come back” I reminded myself.

 

              Then, there was a knock on the door. I put the empty mug in the table as I walked towards it. I opened it and saw a man. His back was facing me. He wore a military suit and I gasped as I saw his face as he turned around.

 

              It was him.

 

              It is him. The same face that I loved for a long time and I still do. Same height that was always been made fun by people but for me, I think it’s perfect for kissing me when we stand up. His body got a little big, maybe because of the exercises he got in the military. What made me teary eyed was his smile. I really missed that smile of his. The way his eyes shaped like a crescent moon and he’s perfect teeth showing as he smile.

 

“Hi” he says, “I missed you so much, Ji Eun.”

 

              I jumped at him even though he’s wet from the rain. I started to cry as I hugged his neck and cling to him. All the stress, frustrations, and sadness are slowly fading away as I slowly believe that this is real. He came back to me, alive and well.

 

“I missed you too. You came back. You fulfilled your promise” I said as he hugs me. The smell of his scent and his warm body hugging mine felt heaven to me. He’s here, really here and this is not a dream.

 

“Of course I came back. You know there’s something that brings me back to you” he said.

 

I laughed and said “Right.. kinda like gravity. Welcome home, Suho”

 

“I’m home now, Ji Eun. You don’t need to cry again. I won’t leave you. Now that there’s no reason for me to leave you again.”

 

“Never again?” I asked.

 

He kissed me on the lips. He pulled back and chuckled, “Never again.”

A/N: It's not that angst much. I'm new to this kind of genre. Sorry for being inexperienced. Hope you still liked it.