'There's a person who I loved for 10 years now'

 

                                                                           'I'm sorry, summer'

 

'The person who always makes me cries and laughs…'

 

                                                                              'Now, Goodbye'

 

'He is my first love and also......'

 

                                                                  ‘Summer is going to end’

"My best friend..."

 

 

 

 

 

1.

 

"Yah! Yoda, stop sleeping!" Baekhyun said while trying to wake Chanyeol up from his slumber, Chanyeol blink a few times before recognizing the annoying person who disturbed him from dreaming good things.

 

"Teacher will scold you!" Baekhyun avowed, Chanyeol rolled his eyes at his nagging best friend.

 

"Ok! Ok! I'm awake" Chanyeol said while rubbing his eyes.

 

"Go take a nap in break time not in Lectures!" Baekhyun hissed, but Chanyeol just ignored him while yawning and stretching nonetheless Baekhyun glared at his lazy yet handsome best friend.

 

"Ok! Fine" Chanyeol said slight annoyed cause Baekhyun is acting like his mom.

 

"Good Yoda" Baekhyun mocked while messing Chanyeol's hair like a some kind of a dog, more like a puppy, Chanyeol pouted at his annoying best friend.

 

"Yah! do you want-"

 

"Mr. Byun and Mr. Park! are you done talking to each other while I am here speaking in front??" the teacher said pitch getting higher because of annoyance, Baekhyun immediately scoot back and sat properly, their fellow students drifted their gazes on them.

 

"Yes, Mrs. Kim sorry" Baekhyun apologized while his head down, and Chanyeol looks so relaxed, Baekhyun only sighed when he saw Chanyeol he is used to his jerky attitude, that he even grew feelings for the said boy.

 

"Good, now get out" the teacher ordered, on the other side Baekhyun widen his eyes in shock, the teacher is ordering them to get out, being the scholarly kind of student Baekhyun is, he can’t believe that he’s being scolded by a teacher for the first time in his life.

 

"Eh.." Baekhyun said not believing what he heard

 

"I said get out!"

 

 

'I remembered when we were yelled at because we were talking in class'

 

 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol is now in the hallways

 

"I hate that old woman!" Chanyeol groaned in annoyance, they stood in front of their room with hands held high, no one dares to rest them down, and if they do their punishment will be more harder that Baekhyun really doesn’t want to happen.

Anyway, I really like you
you hugged me when I was quietly smiling.

 

"This is the first time I’ve been punished like these; it’s your entire fault!!" Baekhyun states while groaning in pain, he felt his arms in real pain he wanted to let down his arms but he can’t, Chanyeol noticed Baekhyun’s face so he grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist and he instead held it high.

 

"Yah! why is it my fault??Huh??" Chanyeol countered.

 

"Whatever!! I regret waking you up!" Baekhyun said while glaring at Chanyeol.

 

"I didn't tell you to wake me up!" Chanyeol said while glaring at Baekhyun too, they both exchanged glares at each other.

 

"Whatever! I hate you!" Baekhyun stated slight yelling at the giant beside him.

 

"You can't hate me~" Chanyeol start tickling Baekhyun, on the other side Baekhyun is dying because of laughter, their moment were interrupted by their teacher again who came out of the room because of the noises the two of them is unconsciously making.

 

"You two! can't you stay quiet??!!"  Chanyeol and Baekhyun straightened themselves and bowed while saying sorry to the teacher, while smiles stretched on their faces.

 

 

'I don't know why it's so fun even we were being punished'

 

 

'I guess because I have time with you alone'

 

 

"Baek!" Baekhyun turned around to see who is calling him.

 

"Kris!" Kris walks to Baekhyun and hug him, causing Baekhyun to yelp in surprise.

 

"I miss you so much my love~" Kris stated while rubbing his cheeks hard on Baekhyun’s cheeks.

 

"Yah! Kris let go and we just met this morning and you missed me already?!" Kris let go and started acting sad in an overacting manner.

 

"Yes..I've missed you so much, my dar-" before Kris could finish he saw Baekhyun walking away from him, Baekhyun can’t take this kind of guy.

 

"Baek wait up" Kris catch up on Baekhyun, they walked to the cafeteria together while chitchatting, there he saw Chanyeol with that Kyungsoo a few table away from the counter, and they looks so happy though, Baekhyun's heart started to ache, he unknowingly touched his chest, that Kris noticed.

 

"Are you ok Baek??" Kris asked worryingly.

 

"I'm fine" Baekhyun said while giving Kris a smile to indicate that he’s okay, that there’s nothing to worry about, but deep inside he’s not okay.

 

"Baek!" Chanyeol called for Baekhyun, Baekhyun only waved at him with a forced smile.

 

"Oh! Kris why are you with Baekkie??" Chanyeol asked.

 

"Cause I want to see my Baekhyun, that's all" Kris stated with his nose up, he attempt to hug Baekhyun but failed when Baekhyun elbowed him right into his chest, they both watched Kris groaned in pain.

 

"I won't disturb you two then, see you later at your house Baek! Bye!" Chanyeol bid goodbye while waving and grinning at Baekhyun, Baekhyun waved back and forced a smile again, he felt more pain as he saw Chanyeol walking away from him to go to another person, and it looks like he has feelings for that person.

 

'It hurts when your with another person rather than me, I’m so selfish..'

 

 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol are on Baekhyun's house roof stargazing, they used to do that every night when they were kids, telling stories about gods in the sky, where dead souls became stars to guide and watched their loved ones from afar.

I know Appa is watching me..

 

"Do you have someone you like??" Chanyeol suddenly asked, making Baekhyun choked at his own saliva.

 

"What's with the question??" Baekhyun widened his eyes at Chanyeol's sudden question; Chanyeol turned his gaze at Baekhyun.

 

When the stars drawn out on the night sky bring up your memories,
I take you out of my old diaries.

 

"Nothing...I just want to know we've been best friends for almost 10 years now Baekkie of course I want to know and also didn't we promised to tell each other secrets??"  Chanyeol asked while stretching his brows up, Baekhyun heaved out a pressured sigh, he hesitates if he’d tell Chanyeol about it.

 

"Yes I have…" but in the end, he admitted.

 

"Who?!" Chanyeol asked looking really interested, making Baekhyun scoots a little away from Chanyeol.

 

"Not telling you Park Dobi~" Baekhyun teased while sticking his tongue out at Chanyeol, Chanyeol gave Baekhyun his infamous death stare to the greedy elfin beside him.

 

"Yah! you dwarf stop calling me that!" and another tickling battle began between them, Baekhyun was dying in laughter, he can’t fight back because he doesn’t have long arms unlike Chanyeol to tickle him who keeps scooting back so Baekhyun can’t reach him.

 

'It's you stupid'

 

"If only my long-time hidden secrets were revealed. I would hold you in my arms forever and never let you go."

 

After the tickling session, Baekhyun is the only one panting trying to catch to his breath from the laughter he made, after catching his breath he checked what time it is and saw that it’s already past 10 o’clock Baekhyun is going to study first before he sleep for the unit test tomorrow.

“Aren’t you going to review?” Baekhyun asked even though he knows Chanyeol’s answer.

 

“Sorry but it’s not my style, I’ll just copy” Chanyeol braggingly stated, Baekhyun rolled at his arrogant best friend, they bid goodbyes at each other, Baekhyun offered Chanyeol to take the front door, but he just jump out from the balcony like some kind of a spider man, he rolled his eyes at Chanyeol.

 

He closed the glass door of the balcony and start placing his lecturing books on his study table, after half an hour of reviewing he got a bit tired and sleepy, he rested his back for a minute while thinking about Chanyeol and his one sided love for the other, until something crossed his mind, he scanned through his shelf of books, he collected many books as he can and read every last one of them over and over again and remembered every page of the books he read, he picked out the most favorite book of all, and read some sentences.

 

When the warm and scented wind passes by my cheeks, I think of your face that I used to love. Oh, when the wild, unknown flowers bloom hidden on the streets I think of you, whom I hideaway in my memories.

 

 

 

Summer

 

'It's Summer that day when I felt my heart skipped a beat for a boy'

 

 

'The day I met him..'

 

 

                                                                     'My beautiful summer…'

 

 

"Yah! Stop walking so fast Chanyeol!" Baekhyun whined half running half walking.

 

"Where are we going anyway its weekends I want to sleep on my comfy bed all day...” Baekhyun states while messing his hair.

 

"Stop complaining and follow me" but Chanyeol just ignored him.

 

"You’re too fast! It's not my fault if I don't have long legs like you!" Baekhyun exclaimed, Chanyeol rolled his eyes at his being lazy friend.

 

"You’re too slow!" Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun's hand and start dragging him, behind Chanyeol is a now blushing Baekhyun.

My heart is pounding really fast again…

 

"Were here!" Baekhyun looked around and saw a familiar place, oh! That’s right this is where Baekhyun and Chanyeol first met, Baekhyun's favorite place.

 

"Do you remember this place Baekkie??" Chanyeol asked with a sweet smile started to stretched on his face.

 

"Of course" around them is a beautiful green fields it's so beautiful and peaceful.

 

"I never imagined a place like this can exist in the first time I went here accidentally" Baekhyun started brushing his fingers through the green and comfy grass beneath them.

 

"Want to play again??" Chanyeol asked while looking really excited.

 

"No I don't want to" Baekhyun said while crossing his arms

 

"Why??" Chanyeol furrowed his brows in confusion.

 

"Cause the first time I met you, you were crying cause there's a frog on your head" Baekhyun teased while giving Chanyeol an evil smirk.

 

"Yah! I was a kid back then, I'm not afraid of frogs anymore" Chanyeol bragged, Baekhyun suddenly got an idea.

 

"Omo! there's a frog on your shoe!" when Chanyeol heard the frog word he start screaming and running hysterically while on the other side Baekhyun is also laughing hysterically at the coward giant, Chanyeol stopped running when he realized that he’s been tricked, and he looked really dumb shouting and running like that.

 

"You dwarf… You’re dead!" Chanyeol then started to chase Baekhyun, they chase each other and start playing in the fields, until their hearts content, they got tired and lay down on the grass still giggling

 

 

'I wish this moment will never end'

 

Because first love is beautiful, a first love is a flower
Blooming widely when spring comes – dazzling like a flower
Like a young child, a first love is inexperienced
Because you can’t unconditionally give and take love

 

 

 

-------------------

 

 

Baekhyun is now walking in the hallways bag hung on his shoulders he is heading for the music room to practice, later on he finally reached the room and opened it he unexpectedly saw Chanyeol and Kyungsoo inside that hit hard on his chest. Chanyeol is playing guitar while Kyungsoo is singing they look perfectly fitted for each other, he closed the door slowly for them to not notice he’s there, he clenched his chest he felt a pang on his tired heart, tired of feeling pain almost every day, and legs suddenly becoming numb.

It hurts…

 

Baekhyun just walked away from the said room tears are threatening to fall from his fatigued eyes.

 

"I'm so stupid, Baek stop loving someone who loves somebody else!" Baekhyun said while patting his cheeks, he placed his hands on his aching chest and closed his eyes, trying to drift his mind elsewhere to stop thinking about earlier.

 

"Baek?? What’s wrong??" Baekhyun immediately opened his eyes.

 

"You again? Kris why are you here??" Baekhyun asked      

 

"Are you alright??" Kris said looking really worried, Baekhyun felt shock he never realized Kris is just there beside him waiting to love him back, but Chanyeol is the one that Baekhyun’s heart is shouting not Kris and it’s hard to move on for Baekhyun, to forget about his 10 years first love.

 

"I'm fine, thank you Kris cause your always there for me" Baekhyun said smiling sweetly at Kris making Kris blushed, then Baekhyun noticed Chanyeol and Kyungsoo watching them, Kyungsoo is waving at them while Chanyeol is looking serious. Baekhyun quickly evaded his gaze away from them, pain is all he can feel right now so he tagged Kris’s shirt gesturing him to go away from here.

 

"What's with Baekhyun?" Kyungsoo whispered while slowly putting his arm down, and his other arm was s around Chanyeol’s.

 

"He’s happy…" Chanyeol mumbled but Kyungsoo didn’t clearly hear it.

 

"What?"

 

“Nothing, he just wanted to be alone with Kris” Chanyeol stated while smiling at Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo gladly smiled back and tightened his hold to Chanyeol.

 

“But it’s so mean to not show up in your practice good thing I came to take his place instead” Kyungsoo avowed.

 

‘The friend label is a label that I got to hate…’

 

 

-----------------

 

Baekhyun slowly walked upstairs to his room, looking really dull and gloomy that his mother noticed, Mrs. Byun asked why is he like that, but just been ignored by the brunette who just walk straight to his room with no words spoken.

 

He threw his bag away and slump on his bed, staring at the white cold ceiling he think about the scene earlier, the two of them would do duets, but seems like he’s been replaced.

That was supposed to be me…

 

He shrugged his thoughts instead and starts digging some books to read his favorite book again, with pain still in him.

 

All day, I cried then laughed; like a crazy person
did you want me to be like this as well?

 

Then a sudden loud knocks was heard on his balcony's glass door there he saw the person he loved for 10 years, again he felt pain in his heart, Chanyeol is knocking on his glass door, his lips and nose pressing on the glass making him looked ugly.

 

"Haha! You looked really ugly!" he mocked while laughing and pointing at him.

 

"Shut up! Let's go up I want to tell you something.." he only nod and followed Chanyeol up the roof.

 

"What is it??" he asked with arched brows.

 

"It's Kyungsoo…" he waited, while gulping his own saliva in nervousness at the mention of Kyungsoo’s name "He confessed to me and I.."  Then he suddenly stops, and also Baekhyun breathing stopped.

 

"I accept him" Chanyeol stated, and the whole world of Baekhyun was completely destroyed by those simple words of Chanyeol, Chanyeol has this serious and slight happy expression on his face and slowly Baekhyun can feel his hands and legs are shaking…

'It's over'

 

"Congratulations! Channie!!" he congratulates him with a forced smile and laugh.

It hurts… this is my entire fault!

 

"Thanks Baekhyun…" Chanyeol smiled to him sweetly that cause Baekhyun more pain…

 

“I hope you’ll find yours too...” Chanyeol then patted Baekhyun’s head, Baekhyun only remained silent he wanted to cry but he mustn’t.

 

"The feelings I’ve hid still remain as a painful secret memory"

 

 

 

When Chanyeol left he cried so hard it aches so much, he cried all night until his eyes are swollen and decided not to go to school he’s afraid he might see them and start crying again.... he didn't go to school for 3 days, they were all worried about him for being the unusual Baekhyun to disappeared just like that without any permission and to also be absent in class is really not in Baekhyun’s vocabulary, every time Chanyeol would visit he only shoved him away he’s afraid he will burst into tears in front of him, he have to move on... to forget about everything. To forget about him.

 

Its Tuesday now he finally decided to go to school or else his grades would be in danger if he doesn’t show up but until now he still can't move

On I guess that's the result for loving a person almost 10 years..

 

 

He’s now standing in front of our classroom door, afraid to open it. What if can't control myself?

 

He was about to come in when Kris stopped him by hugging me tight "Baek! I missed you what happened to you??!" Kris said with a hint of worry in his eyes, so he simply patted his head and said.

 

"I'm fine, I just got sick, thank you for caring" Baekhyun stated to ease Kris’s wariness until the door beside them opened, Chanyeol is there standing behind the two of them he looked at Baekhyun with a cold and expressionless face.

 

"Class is going to start" before he could speak or protest, Chanyeol already pulled Baekhyun in and shut the door closed on Kris.

 

Baekhyun glared at him and quickly pulled his wrist harshly, Chanyeol got stun at the sudden action Baekhyun made, Baekhyun didn’t looked at his eyes, and he averted his gaze on Chanyeol.

 

"Sorry..." Baekhyun’s wrist is now red, because of the tight hold of Chanyeol. But that doesn’t change anything at all he just added another pain on Baekhyun again.

 

-------

 

School ended Baekhyun stumbled his way out of the school building, he can feel his legs becoming wobbly, he just walked straight with a dreary look on his face, head still hanging low on the ground.

 

Then it suddenly start raining, other students around him started to run to find some shelter and got their own umbrellas, but Baekhyun didn’t care, about the rain, or anything about anyone around him he just wanted a time for his self, to resolve his own problem that he supposed to do a long time ago.

 

 He doesn't care if he’s wet, as he walk straight not looking on his tracks he then bumped on a certain giant, the giant he wanted to forget, the giant who caused him more pain every time seeing him.

 

"You idiot! Why are you walking out here with no umbrella?!" The soaking wet Baekhyun stared at him for a second then changed his direction simply avoiding Chanyeol. Right now he might look like so pitiful, Chanyeol then grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist and as expected Baekhyun shoved his hand away again.

 

Seeing as a first love is painful, a first love is like a fever
because after you are mindlessly sick, you become an adult
because a first love can never be, a first love is lingering attachment.
 

 

"Don't touch me! Don't come near me! Don’t ever talk to me!  I hate you! I HATE you Park Chanyeol!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN EVER!" Baekhyun avowed while closing his eyes, fist rolling in distress, Baekhyun started crying again but because of the rain Chanyeol luckily can't see tears Baekhyun cried, when Baekhyun opened his eyes he saw a shock Chanyeol because of his sudden outburst, he is looking at Baekhyun with a hurt facial expression.

 

You can’t see the tears I cried, behind these hazel eyes.

 

"Baek…"  Chanyeol tried to confront Baekhyun again, but to no avail Baekhyun run away from Chanyeol, he stared at the running elfin away from him with worried yet hurt eyes.

 

'It hurts so much....I feel like my heart will explode, but I have to be happy for him...as a friend'

 

 

                              'Goodbye my summer’

 

After their so called fight or maybe not, Baekhyun rarely see him in school and sometimes he figured out that he's avoiding the brunette, it’s good anyway so that Baekhyun will easily forget about Chanyeol but the thought of their friendship being ruined is also a bad idea, however whenever Baekhyun see him together with Kyungsoo he felt pain as always that he’s now really tired of feeling the word ‘pain’ Baekhyun become numb and more worse at the time being, sometimes he wished that he never met Chanyeol or the both of them, he then sometimes felt guilty about what he have said to Chanyeol, Baekhyun admit it that the wounds on his heart is too deep that it can’t possibly heal that easy, but he needs to be happy for him as his...best friend.

 

"Kris I have something to tell you…" Baekhyun suddenly said to him while were walking in the corridors.

 

"What is it Darling??" Baekhyun’s fist starts to roll again and ready to punch him when he heard the word darling coming from Kris’s big mouth.

 

"Don't call me that!" Baekhyun whined.

 

"Aww don't be shy my Baekkie is so cute~"

That’s it Baekhyun is already at his limit, he can feel his nerves clenching in annoyance.

 

"Kris here's my question" Baekhyun calmly asked yet with a dangerous tone.

 

"Go on! Go on!" Kris said while clapping like five years old.

 

"Don't you have any hobbies besides annoying the out of me??" Baekhyun stated making Kris to fell agape for a minute.

 

"None darling~" Baekhyun is really going to kill this guy with his bare hands, right here right now.

 

"You bastard..." Baekhyun started chasing him with a large stick, that he himself don't know where he get it either, nevertheless until Kris out balanced and fell on the bushes, Baekhyun tried not to laugh but it's so funny in the end he burst out of laughter at first Kris pout but decided to join the elfin’s laughter at least the pain was lessen, after their minutes of laughter, Baekhyun helped Kris to stand up and, the next thing they saw is Chanyeol looking at them with a serious facial expression, he looked at them in one whole minute then he turned his gaze coldly.

 

'Chanyeol…'

 

I can still feel you but like a burnt out flame, burnt and destroyed all of my love.
It hurts so much, but now I’ll call you a memory. A sweet memory.

 

Baekhyun can really relate to his favorite book, the book where he can learn something about his situation, the book who can only understand what he feels whether it’s not alive it can still help him in anyways.

 

I dream every day of holding your hand and flying forever.

 

Baekhyun was about to turn the page of the book to read some more, when Kris suddenly came up to him panting, Baekhyun was startled.

 

“Yah! What’s wrong with you?!” Baekhyun held his chest in grief because of Kris, Kris put his hand up to Baekhyun indicating him to wait up; he’s catching his breath first.

 

“I-I was- I was just passing by the music room when I noticed people started to crowd up around the bulletin board so being me, I was curious so I took a peek too.” Baekhyun frowned at Kris, why the bulletin is involved?

 

“I saw a poster of a singing contest and-“

 

“So?!” the impatient Baekhyun cut in.

 

“So being the supportive shining armor I am, I put your name in the contestant list!!” Kris stated while throwing his hands up, trying to sound as a happy surprise to Baekhyun, but it’s a complete opposite, and his mouth fell agape he can’t believe Kris did that. Baekhyun’s hand automatically smacked Kris’s head hard.

 

“Ouch!!” then followed by another blow from Baekhyun again.

 

“Why did you do that?!” Baekhyun yelled.

 

“Because you have the angelic voice suited for your face, and after all you like music right?” Kris grinned again, making Baekhyun’s head to boil in anger again.

 

“Even if I had you don’t need to do that, didn’t your parents told you to think about it before doing something?!” Baekhyun scolded, Kris’s grin slowly fades instead he hang his head low while mumbling ‘sorry’ to Baekhyun, on the other side Baekhyun face palmed in exasperation.

 

“Then let’s erase my name” Baekhyun grabbed Kris’s wrist to take him to where he wrote his name, but Kris pulled Baekhyun making Baekhyun arched his brows at Kris.

 

“Too late…I already dropped your name on the contestant box” Kris stated, Baekhyun’s ear suddenly felt hot, he felt hitting the taller guy more and more until he’s satisfied.

 

“What?!” Baekhyun screamed again, almost crashing Kris’s eardrums, the teachers from the rooms near them went out to scold at Baekhyun who suddenly shout, and Baekhyun apologized while bowing at the teachers he kept mumbling and cursing Kris right now, he was really not oblige by Kris’s doing.

 

---------------------

 

“I’m having a problem on what to sing! When I think about singing in front of many people, I feel my stomach went upside down that I wanted to throw up!!” Baekhyun stated while messing his hair in irritation. Having problem about the contest, Kris was sitting beside him at the back of the building to think about the contest.

 

“It’s okay just be yourself, it’s going to be alright, just t sing the song as you feel the message of it” Kris wisely made an advice, Baekhyun made a face and start groaning.

 

“This is your entire fault!” Baekhyun started blaming Kris again; Kris didn’t countered because he might get another hurtful blow from Baekhyun.

 

“Okay! You can do this Baek!” Baekhyun encouraged himself following by a powerful support from Kris, they practiced almost every day but Baekhyun more often practices alone, he prefers being alone he doesn’t want Kris to see him cry if ever.

 

He wanted to see Chanyeol right now but it seems so difficult to approach his best friend, even himself can’t come near Chanyeol he only stayed from afar watched as Chanyeol was happy with someone he loved and the hurtful truth is, it’s not him, that was supposed to be with him, he was the one who was always by Chanyeol’s side the one he shared tears and laughter with, the one he spent 10 years of his life, but where is he now?

Don’t be selfish Baek, it’s not like you at all don’t blame Chanyeol if he doesn’t love you back after all he doesn’t even know that you’re in love with him.

 

Today is the day when the contest is going to held, the day when he can fully express what he really felt.

 

Number 14 was on his right chest, he nervously waited for his turn, and Kris was already on the crowd to fully watch Baekhyun’s performance as he heard the number 13 was called, Baekhyun tightened his grip on the microphone while sighing a few times, after finalizing his self.

 

“No.14!” his number was called, he can hear wild screams from the audience followed by the supportive Kris, after stepping in he let out the last sigh.

 

When he was on stage the crowd started lessening the screams waiting for him to start singing, he scanned the place to find a certain giant who he was singing for, but none he saw no Chanyeol so instead he land his gaze on Kris he smiled at him before starting.

 

After a few seconds the instrumentals finally played.

In that space where memories linger

Still as warm on my fingertips

You are here, here

Your scent, your face

 

Please, look at me, look at me, look at me

I can feel you, like this, feel you, feel you

Struggling to catch your expressions

Struggling to catch your smiles

 

You, who I struggled to understand

In the place where we were together

In the moment where I resembled you

When it felt too good being soaked in the rain

You are gone, gone

 

How am I supposed to erase you alone and live

In those moments where we once walked together

Like that, the things we made beside each other

Even the memories, even those regrets

 

Lingered there with me, missing you so much

Please, look at me, look at me, look at me

As ever, I can feel you, feel you, feel you

 

Merely resembling your words

Merely resembling your smiles

Merely resembling you

 

In the place where we were together

In the moment where I resembled you

When it felt too good being soaked in the rain

You are gone, gone

How am I supposed to erase you alone and live

When I miss you so much

 

Your name, which I was barely allowed to speak, can’t be erased

My name, only used by you, is asleep here

 

In the place where we were together

In those moments where we could’ve walked together

I’m holding onto myself alone

In this place, even our future, my wishes have stopped

I’m standing here and you are gone

Sudden tears fell from his eyes unknowingly, surprising Kris and the crowd, the tears won’t seem to stop he stood on the stage for a couple of minutes gripping tighter the microphone in his hand while he bit his lips trying to stop the tears, he felt his legs feeling numb that he can’t move a muscle, as the crowd started whispering and gossiping because of Baekhyun, his legs started to feel wobbly like he’s going to fall on the ground any time, the emcee himself let Baekhyun alone on the stage not knowing what to do.

Kris scurried his way to the stage to get Baekhyun, as he held Baekhyun in his arms, Baekhyun mumbled.

“I was so stupid…” Kris widens his eyes at what he said, at the backstage Baekhyun was stumbling, Kris can’t take it anymore what’s with the sudden Baekhyun?! Kris shook Baekhyun shoulders furiously.

“Snapped out of it Baek! What’s wrong with you?!” Kris half yelled at the still crying Baekhyun, but what he did made Baekhyun cried even more, he start punching lightly Kris’s chest, as Baekhyun’s fist landed on his chest he felt pity on Baekhyun, he grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist and pulled him for a hug.

“Stop crying…”

“I’m such an idiot!” Baekhyun stated again while clenching Kris’s shirt.

“He doesn’t even here anymore” Kris remained silent he just held Baekhyun tighter in his arms, while feeling pain after seeing the usual bubbly and violent Baekhyun like these. But little did Baekhyun know Chanyeol was watching him performing, when he heard Baekhyun’s angelic voice he quickly made his way to where the voice is coming, he saw Baekhyun sang the song whole heartedly, then after the song ended what surprised Chanyeol was the tears fell on his eyes, he wanted to go to Baekhyun but before he could, Kris already had.

-*-*-*-*-*-

 

These past few days he rarely sees Chanyeol and Kyungsoo together

"Is there something happened??" he whispered to himself but decided to shrug it off and continue what he is doing, he started mumbling things about that teacher who ordered him around.

 

"I hate that old hag always ordering me around who do he think he is huh??! That old hag I will-" his mumbling stops when he heard a voice behind him, the voice he wants to avoid hearing.

 

"Kyungsoo? Why are you here??" Baekhyun asked looking really surprised.

 

"Did I scare you? Well do you have a minute??" he hesitate at first to talk to Kyungsoo but he ended up talking to him, he take Baekhyun to the rooftop to have a quick talk in private.

 

"What do you want to say??" Baekhyun asked while fidgeting a little feeling uneasy towards Kyungsoo.

 

"It's Chanyeol…" I widen my eyes at what he heard off all the things they have to talk about why him…?

 

"What's with Chanyeol??" he asked not looking directly to his eyes.

 

"I'm giving Chanyeol back to you, even though I don't think there's us in the first place anyways" Kyungsoo said while forcing a weak laugh.

 

"Eh.." Baekhyun hummed not believing what he had heard but this time he looked at him straight in the eyes.

 

"I can't take it anymore...” Baekhyun only looked at him; he remained silent and let him do all the talking.

 

"My heart is breaking apart whenever I’m with him...cause I felt like I’m getting in the way to the both of you" Kyungsoo states, Baekhyun saw his expression  that Kyungsoo was about to cry so Baekhyun decided to just held his hands and let him continue.

 

"I have feelings for him Baekhyun, I tried to hide it but I ended up confessing to him and got rejected" Baekhyun widen his eyes at what Kyungsoo had said.

 

"Rejected?? I thought he accepted you?? He said to me that he accepted you" this time Kyungsoo is the one looking at Baekhyun with a confuse frown.

"He didn't, he just said that were just friends" Kyungsoo avowed.

 

"Why are you telling me this??"

 

"Cause I don't want to see Chanyeol crying again, I don't want to get hurt again, sometimes I told to myself that 'Why are you still beside Chanyeol even though you’re not the one he loved' it hurts Baek to like someone who loved someone else.. " Kyungsoo states, this time he is now crying.

Do you think I don’t know?

 

"Why did he lie to me why did he say that he accepted you??" Baekhyun was sounding a bit too loud; he was confused why did Chanyeol do that?

 

"Because you’re the one he loves" Baekhyun gasped because of what he heard, he felt his voice suddenly disappeared.

 

"He wanted you to be happy with the one you love, I always pity him for he's just watching you from afar, I admit Baekhyun that sometimes I envy and hate you for making Chanyeol cry" Baekhyun froze at the moment Kyungsoo stop talking.

 Chanyeol likes me all this time?? All this time??

 

"Go see him Baek and straighten things up!" Baekhyun immediately leaved Kyungsoo alone without speaking any words he run fast as fast as he could, he went to the infirmary room to see if he was there but none no Chanyeol to be seen, Baekhyun also checked the court, cafeteria, locker room, and other places that he might go but still no Chanyeol to be seen until something crossed his mind there is a place that he haven't checked yet.

 

"Music room" Baekhyun again started to run fast not minding the teacher who is scolding me for running in the hallways, he don't care anymore if he break the rules, Baekhyun just want to see Chanyeol now, he reached the Music room's door at first hesitant was on Baekhyun’s mind, but it's no turning back, he opened the door slowly and saw the person he love playing guitar his eyes are red and swollen it looks like he cried earlier.

 

"Chanyeol" he called out for the giant, he looked up and stops playing, he looked at Baekhyun with those eyes, those eyes that he love for so long and gave Baekhyun his angelic yet forced smile.

 

"Hi, Baek long time no see" Baekhyun walk to him while slowly panting and stood in front of him, not talking anything just looking at him straight in the eyes.

 

"How are you and Kris??" Chanyeol said while putting his guitar down to have a proper talk with Baekhyun.

 

"What are you doing he-" before Chanyeol could finish his sentence, Baekhyun already smacked him on the head and pulled his collar.

 

"Ouch! Baek what are you do-"

"I love you!" Baekhyun finally said it! he looked really shocked though.

 

"Wh-what??" Baekhyun didn't dare to speak those embarrassing words again instead he did a more embarrassing thing he kissed him not letting go of his collar, until the kiss ended and they look each other’s eyes for a long time until Chanyeol broke the silence himself.

 

"Baek...?? Is this true??" Baekhyun’s tight hold on Chanyeol’s collar slowly loosened.

 

"Of course STUPID!! Ugh this is embarrassing…" Baekhyun said while fiddling his finger, he does that when he’s embarrassed, he also felt his cheeks are burning hot.

 

"I love you too Baek...but I thought you love Kris that's why I hid my feelings for you…"

 

"Who said I like him??!!" Baekhyun avowed while crossing his arms and felt a little annoyed.

Now what made him think that I like that person!

 

" Even though he’s always beside me when I felt dishearten-" Baekhyun stopped his sentence when Chanyeol pulled him in a hug.

This is the best day of my life...

 

'I love you..'

 

'I love you too...Chanyeol'