ice

„are you ready?“

junmyeon is extremely vulnerable to the cold, but he could never refuse minseok.

he nods and flinches when the latter carefully cups his cheeks with both of his hands, shuddering as he feels the cool sensation slowly spreading through his entire body. he's about to freeze completely, but he doesn't try to escape. junmyeon really wishes he can bring himself to lean into minseok's touch, who's holding him like a fragile piece of glass, but his palms only emit biting frost. although it doesn't exactly hurt, junmyeon can never will his heartbeat to slow down either, and panic arises. junmyeon looks up to lock their gazes, desperately searching for any form of reassurance. he finds it in minseok's eyes which naturally have an icy color, but right now, junmyeon is met with a rare warmth. it's comforting.

„i'm sorry, junmyeonnie. just go to sleep and i will handle the rest.“

so junmyeon closes his eyes, and lets himself get trapped within minseok's solid layers of shining ice. he never stops getting scared of this, and he is ashamed of himself for reverting back to feeling like a lost child again. it's silly and irrational, since all minseok means to do is protect him. however, when slumber eventually pulls him down and junmyeon's mind starts to fade into plains of soft white and sparkling snowflakes playing through the air, he is finally able to let go of his fear.

minseok will always keep him safe, just like the way junmyeon will always be minseok's source of strength.

 

 

telepathy/telekinesis

there's mirth in junmyeon's eyes as he observes luhan playing around with those heavy silver orbs in a childish manner, letting them float in the air as if they weigh nothing. when the latter notices a familiar gaze linger on him however, he turns around and stares right back with puffed cheeks, annoyed.

what?

even though luhan is older than him, junmyeon often finds himself thinking that he doesn't exactly act his age. he doesn't particularly mind, though. in fact, junmyeon finds it rather cute.

why you little- …don't look down on me!

junmyeon's lips curl upward in an apologetic smile, but truth to be told, he doesn't feel sorry, not really. luhan always looks incredibly youthful like this to junmyeon, when he tries to be authoritative and acts bossy, or when he gets all upset about his supposed manliness that he feels the need to prove. besides, junmyeon knows that luhan secretly enjoys it, being teased like that.

oh shut up, stupid.

something hard suddenly hits the back of his head – not too cruelly though – and a soft laugh escapes junmyeon's mouth. it is a sincere one this time. junmyeon likes luhan just the way he is, and luhan can't help but break into a smile at that silent declaration.

 

 

flight

sometimes, yifan carries him in his arms and takes him out to fly. the first time he did, junmyeon had been so very afraid, helplessly clutching at the other man's broad shoulders, and yifan had held him even closer. the wind was blowing harshly against their faces back then, so jumymeon didn't dare to open his eyes.

„have faith in me, junmyeon-ah,“ yifan said, and junmyeon has been having faith in him ever since.

they stand still in mid-air for a while, watching far away galaxies above and their familiar world beneath them. a strange feeling takes hold of junmyeon, when he thinks about the fact that they are as close to the sky as they can be, yet they can never really touch it.

„i like you a lot,“ yifan suddenly confesses, and junmyeon blames him for the fluttering heat burning his cheeks with bright red.

it begins to rain, so they decide to get back down. junmyeon always ends up a little dizzy afterwards, and he isn't quite sure if it is the heights they reach or simply yifan that affects him. he lingers just a little bit longer, heavy raindrops coming down on them as their wet clothes melt into one from standing too close to each other. a much bigger hand wraps itself around his own, and it feels warm.

the only thing i can do is fall, junmyeon thinks.

 

 

healing

even though junmyeon feels like it isn't really his place to do so, he teaches yixing all he knows about medical arts. the first few lessons had been somewhat productive, consisting of junmyeon introducing yixing to basic first aid and showing him alternative cures and treating methods.

junmyeon's heart warms when he thinks of the way yixing's eyes sparkle with enthusiasm and admiration, or how he pays attention to anything with such sincerity. sometimes, when junmyeon catches the other's gaze for too long, he feels as if he's being deeply cherished, and he wonders if this is how yixing's healing powers actually work.

„yixing,“ junmyeon chuckles softly, „why are you just being nice? you are an amazing healer already. you are more capable than me and there isn't anything left for me to teach you.“

„that's not true, hyung,“ yixing says, „everything i know, i learned it from you. you have so much kindness and patience. you care so much about us all. i notice how you always clean our bruises and wounds first, without ever tending to your own.“ yixing gently brushes his thumb over junmyeon's cheeks, and only then he realizes that tears had been sliding down on them.

„one day, i hope i'll be able to look after you for once.“

 

 

light

everything about baekhyun is bright, so bright that junmyeon's afraid to get blinded by him. baekhyun's voice is powerful and loud, his eye smile playful and mischievous. without much effort, he is able to shine for the entire team, lifting up their spirits and infecting everyone with his cheerful personality.

however, junmyeon has also seen the younger boy at times when his light is gone, and his lips are set in a stiff, downward curve. junmyeon can't stand the way baekhyun doesn't like himself much when he is like that.

„baekhyun, it's alright to be sad,“ junmyeon says, which only makes said person's frown deepen. he's always been one that's a little tougher to approach, and maybe, junmyeon is one of the very few who ever even manages to. junmyeon loves baekhyun's obnoxious laughs, but he has learned to look past them from time to time, just to check if baekhyun's okay, to make sure he is not suffocating in self-doubt and carefully hidden sorrow.

„look at me,“ junmyeon clutches gently at baekhyun's sleeve to make the other face him.

usually, junmyeon is scared of this, too, to reveal painful pieces of his soul to show that nobody is truly alone in feeling this way. but even so, he is willing to do anything to let baekhyun recognize his own light again in junmyeon's reflection.

 

 

lightning

when junmyeon heard jongdae sing for the first time, he felt as if electricity was streaking through his entire body, paralyzing him in his every movement.

ever since, junmyeon indulges himself listening to jongdae's melodic voice every time he gets the chance to, even if it's just soft humming in the mornings or during the times they do some chores together. somehow, it charges junmyeon with energy and good mood, though he likes jongdae's silly jokes and teasing just as much.

jongdae is lighthearted and easygoing by nature, so oftentimes, junmyeon ends up wondering how he, of all people, deserves his seemingly unconditional adoration. but junmyeon is more than grateful anyway, and it only seems like perfect harmony now, for them to be such close friends, sharing both calm and calamity.

they sit together in comfortable silence, and junmyeon waits for jongdae to break it with his mellow singing, just like he always does. however, jongdae's smile is unnaturally soft today.

„hyung, i really want to hear you sing for once.“ junmyeon startles, and he searches jongdae's gaze for any signs of jest, but there is none.

thus he sings, voice weak and unsteady, but jongdae is there and always appreciates nonetheless.

 

 

fire

there are burn scars and dark bruises marring delicate white skin on junmyeon's arms, but this isn't the reason why he's in pain. chanyeol is crying, so junmyeon lets himself getting pulled in for a desperate embrace. as he listens to chanyeol's low and muffled sobs and watches the taller man's shoulders shake uncontrollably, junmyeon feels as if his heart is being crushed.

„i'm so sorry, hyung, i'm so sorry,“ is all chanyeol manages to choke out, and he squeezes junmyeon's petite body even tighter to himself.

despite the iron grip, junmyeon frees one of his injured arms to place a hand on the other one's back, rubbing soothing circles on it. chanyeol is by default the most cheerful person junmyeon has ever had the luck to know, and seeing him like this is like drowning in an ocean of tears he feels he is responsible for.

„silly child. don't worry about it, chanyeol-ah. i will never blame you.“

chanyeol doesn't let go of him for a long while, as if he's scared to lose junmyeon for good. earlier, junmyeon refused to defend himself against the raging flames that chanyeol is still unable to control, because he really can't bring himself to risk it, to harm chanyeol instead with his own powers one day.

they are destined to hurt each other without meaning to, and it's so unfair, but junmyeon couldn't care less and would bear it all if it means staying by chanyeol's gentle warmth.

 

 

earth

„you should take a rest, junmyeon-hyung, you look tired these days“, kyungsoo says, concern lacing his smooth voice.

junmyeon looks down to his fidgeting hands as he secretly smiles to himself. it is rare for kyungsoo to express worry that openly, since he is a very private person himself. but sometimes, on random occasions like right now, kyungsoo softens the sharp edges he has drawn around himself to let junmyeon in. and junmyeon is thankful, because even though he knows kyungsoo is strong on his own and very much capable of everything by himself, he can't help but constantly worry about the other as well.

„i probably should. but so should you.“ he raises his gaze to meet a pair of wide and doe-like eyes glancing back in reservation.

„i'm good,“ kyungsoo says almost automatically, and junmyeon regrets that he predicted this answer correctly yet again. for being one of the youngest, kyungsoo is probably the most competent of them all, but junmyeon thinks he shouldn't be this hard on himself all the time.

„let me help you prepare dinner, at least? you know you can trust me not to burn the kitchen like those other morons, right?“ junmyeon wiggles his eyebrows in a silly manner while reaching out to hold kyungsoo's hand with his own. hearing the latter erupt in a burst of laughter makes junmyeon's heart soar with kyungsoo's happiness.

„i'm not so sure about that,“ kyungsoo teases, and his lips finally form that beautiful heart shape junmyeon longs to see more often.

 

 

time control

junmyeon usually comes to regret giving in to cuddling with zitao in bed when they wake up too early, because those times can stretch into eternity. he tries to wriggle his way out of the younger boy's smothering hug, but it is in vain when he realizes that it only results in zitao holding him even closer. junmyeon groans in frustration.

„come on, we need to get up now if we don't want to be late.“

zitao still doesn't seem to care at all, shaking his head underneath junmyeon's chin and tickling the latter in the process with his messy morning hair. perhaps it helps becoming a little more stricter with the kids, junmyeon thinks, but before he even knows it he catches himself smiling at zitao's cute gesture.

„five more minutes, eomma,“ zitao mumbles with exaggerated sweetness while nuzzling his nose further into junmyeon's neck.

although junmyeon rolls his eyes and sighs once more, he has to admit defeat yet again. realization hits him that he's actually totally whipped when it comes to the kids acting all adorable and fluffy around him just to get what they want. he is almost sure that they learned how to use it as a weapon against him, melting him on the spot until he caves in to do all of their bidding.

„fine,“ junmyeon futilely tries to sound annoyed, but zitao already figured out that it's simply not in his nature, „but no time manipulation.“

there's only a mischievous snicker in response, and junmyeon decides that yes, it is rather troublesome that he can't ever seem to resist aegyo.

 

 

teleportation

„hyung, it's always this place. you always want to come here.“

they stand next to each other, right in front of the wide ocean, their bare feet tickled by soft sand and their faces caressed by gentle breezes which carry that pleasant salty scent. junmyeon knows this sensation all too well, it's like it's been imprinted in his heart ever since he was born. he's destined to be drawn to the sea, a natural affinity that may never die until junmyeon does, and jongin understands.

„thanks for coming here with me anyways.“

visiting the beach together has almost become a tradition for as long as they'd known each other, which might as well be forever. but something about the way jongin stares straight ahead into the distance today makes it feel like farewell.

jongin is troubled, just like he always is of late, and joonmyun understands, too. soon enough, the happy and carefree days will be over, with all of them scattered across this gigantic world, alone and lost in unknown places. jongin will be left to gather them again, but by then he'd become kai. junmyeon will probably have another name as well, though it won't help him take the crushing burden off jongin's shoulders, yet he so desperately wants to.

jongin shuffles closer to bury his face in the crook of junmyeon's neck, and junmyeon's eyes begin to sting from tears threatening to fall. before they do however, he remembers that he's supposed to be the older one, and wills them back. his grief is nothing compared to what jongin must feel.

„at least you know where to find me,“ is all the comfort junmyeon can offer, but it sounds like a painful, indefinite goodbye.

 

 

wind

perhaps junmyeon should really stop spoiling their youngest that much, especially when he does a fantastic job acting like a perfect brat towards him most of the time. it seems the kid will never get tired of testing the waters, trying and discovering just how much he can push his boundaries, even though he should know by now. unfortunately, he also knows that junmyeon is soft.

the latter huffs when he finds himself cleaning up after the mess sehun has left behind in their shared dorm room. the worst part of it though, is the fact that said culprit is lazing around on the couch in the parlor this very instant, and it makes junmyeon want to pull his hair out. to be fair, he is partly at fault himself, for never having the heart to scold that kid and compel him to attend to his duties for once.

„hyung, i'm sure you're thirsty now, get us some bubble tea, yeah?“ sehun says when he notices junmyeon walking by the sofa, on his way to take out the enormous trash bag he's managed to fill throughout these past two hours.

junmyeon halts and stares. and judges of course, not quite believing this brat still has the nerve to even request anything more from him right now. sehun can be an aggravating storm sometimes, and the whirpool he creates plays a ruthless game with junmyeon's patience.

but suddenly, as if he senses the older one's discomfort, sehun jumps to his feet and pecks his lips lightly on junmyeon's temple.

„just kidding. i'll get it. sorry for the trouble hyung.“ this is when junmyeon's tension clears and he knows that they enter a peaceful lull again.

 

 

water

all his life, he has dreamt it for countless times, but it is happening now. junmyeon's drowning.

it's not like he's struggling in despair like others would, though. there are no instincts kicking in that tell him to hurry back to the surface and find solid ground again, or to gasp for oxygen to fill his lungs with. instead, he lets himself sink into the cold and dark depths of the sea willingly, not quite sure if he will be conscious still when he reaches the very bottom of it, as his life seems to slip right through his fingertips.

water is never cruel to him, it is his element to own after all, only his. it's a symbol for serenity and peace, but sometimes, it also means painful loneliness and heart-wrenching sorrow. these have always been parts of junmyeon's soul, and he can't help himself but forever accept it all.

as he dwindles further down, he feels his skin prickle from disintegrating, slowly turning into nothing more but foam. junmyeon decides to keep his eyes closed until the very end, because tears are useless in the midst of the ocean, and he rather wants to keep those feelings inside his heart instead of letting them bubble back up to the surface.

for junmyeon, precious memories are his air to breathe down here. with the few remaining moments of his mind, he tries to hold onto the way he loves, so much loves the people that mean the world to him. junmyeon remembers how they also cherished him in return, and how very lucky he felt to be with them. his family.

he thinks of protective minseok and playful luhan, who always looked after him in their own ways. he recalls how it was like to fly with and fall for yifan. he is glad that he was able to teach yixing and baekhyun how to heal others and just as important, themselves. he wishes to hear jongdae's voice one last time, or feel chanyeol's warm embrace around him. he hopes kyungsoo will be able to relax and smile more, while zitao and sehun will grow to take on some responsibilities from their hyungs. he longs to see brave, loyal jongin again, but somehow, he knows it to be soon, because he has faith in him.

they appear in front of his inner eye, it's like they are right there with him. junmyeon takes this final opportunity to thank them for everything and say goodbye.

it's the last drop that stirs his emotions until they are overflowing, and he thinks he can let go now as he doesn't feel alone. it's okay, he tells himself and he knows it's something they would tell him, too. everything fades, and he finally merges with the sea.

'we are one' are junmyeon's last thoughts, but he doesn't mean the water.

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(kai can't seem to tear his stare away from the delicate-looking boy in front of him, lying on the shore just where the small waves can't reach any further to touch soft, white sand. as curious eyes look up to him and transform into lovely crescents the moment their gazes meet, kai isn't so sure if it's indeed his hyung or if he actually mistakes him with an angel from another world. he almost forgot how beautiful junmyeon's smiles had been.

 

„we meet again. i'm called suho now, it seems, though,“ the happiness is still too much however, and they are afraid their hearts will combust and beat right out of their chests.)