One day, Kyuhyun decides that he’s not coming back. He plans a route throughout the world meticulously, organising visas and tickets and immunisations. It takes him months, but when he is done, he says goodbye to everyone; friends, family, even the dog, and sets off. He knows that they expect him to come back, that he will tire of this exploring in a few months, but he’s not so sure. He doesn’t know why he’s leaving, he just is. There is a hollow sense in the pit of his stomach that never quite goes away, and it used to be filled at university, where the constant knowledge being thrown at him never allowed him to let up and made him forget his loneliness.

To be honest, he doesn’t know why he’s lonely. His friends are always there for him. He knows that Sungmin would come with him if he asked, but he doesn’t want to drag Sungmin away from the job he loves and the girl he’s interested in. It’s the same with Ryeowook, but Ryeowook is too caring for this journey, Kyuhyun thinks. He wants to be properly alone, to see if he can fix this feeling and make it go away. Since his degree, he’s been lost, adrift, because he doesn’t know what he wants to be and he’s not quite sure what his philosophy degree is useful for. He could teach, like his parents suggested, but that’s always been more their thing than his. He doesn’t have the patience for nurturing minds, or whatever teaching actually is.

So he leaves, at 5am in the morning, on a Thursday, for Thailand. His parents have given him far too much money; he feels guilty about spending it, but really, they told him too, and it’s not like he’ll get anywhere without it. He ends up stuck in plain little hostel, and he meets another Korean, strangely, a loud, pretty transvestite, who decides to show him around Bangkok. He sees many things, and ends up drunk more often than not, but he decides it was worth it, even though he has ended up with a strange tattoo on his backside. Still, he has learnt that Thailand isn’t the place for him, and he bids adieu to his strange tour guide, who makes him promise to stay in touch, muttering his real name, Heechul, in his ear. He does, and finds himself on the phone to Heechul when he is standing in the airport. He is on his way to India, next and while on the plane, meets a strange man called Jongwoon, who has a variety of odd habits (one being the touching of the space between upper lip and nose), but who is also quite entertaining.

In light of saving money, something both he and Jongwoon are keen to do, they share a room, and Kyuhyun finds himself another partner to wander around a country he does not know.  Strangely, while visiting the Taj Mahal, having lost Jongwoon for a minute, he finds a tiny sense of peace, lost in the throng of hundreds of tourists, in a famous landmark. It’s fleeting, but sweet, and he wonders how he can get it again.

But once again, he realises that India isn’t the place for him, so he says goodbye to Jongwoon, hugging him and narrowly avoiding being touched oddly (again), as Jongwoon leaves for Indonesian islands, to see the Komodo dragon, he says. Kyuhyun hopes he has a nice time, and finds himself alone in an airport again.

This time, it is America, and flies over to California. His English is rudimentary at best, but he gets by, and meets Kibum, a quiet, thoughtful man trying to become an actor. They agree on a road trip, which Kyuhyun finds exciting, and he knows that Kibum finds his delusions of being a cowboy hilarious, but he can’t quite help himself when he buys the cowboy hat in the store, somewhere in Texas, and he pretends to shoot Kibum who shakes his head, and pretends to shoot Kyuhyun right back.

The last part of their tour ends in New York, because Kyuhyun has always wanted to see it, and Kibum has friends there. They worry that they’ve killed the car from all their driving, but Kibum smiles easily and tells him it was worth it, although Kyuhyun is careful to pay for the next lot of petrol and the hotel room, because he doesn’t think Kibum can afford a new car.

The regular phonecalls from his family and friends become less stressful, and everyone remarks on how much happier he sounds. Kyuhyun doesn’t quite know why, but he doesn’t want to leave just yet, so he leaves for his next trip. He wishes Kibum luck with his acting, and sets off for Canada.

While in Toronto, he meets Henry, a dancer who has an adorable face with chubby cheeks and is affectionately termed “mochi”. Henry is easy-going company and Kyuhyun finds his month in Canada strangely cheerful and happy, because whatever he does, Henry does happily, and he was more than willing to tug Kyuhyun along with him, despite the language barrier. (Although, secretly, Kyuhyun thinks his English has improved dramatically).

In France, he meets two people; a pair of best friends called Hyukjae and Donghae who are childish and silly and very good dancers, and who enjoy taking Kyuhyun out to clubs and embarrassing him a little. He doesn’t mind, though, because they’re good people, and always willing to help him out. They are also on a journey around the world, he learns, and when they leave Paris, it is together, Hyukjae and Donghae for Florida, and he for Italy.

It is there he meets Shindong, a jovial, happy man who has settled in Italy and who has a love of food to rival Ryeowook’s. His experience of Italy is a culinary one, because Shindong enjoys taking him around the tourist sites (Kyuhyun really likes the Coliseum and has a brief fantasy of being a gladiator) and then for good food. Shindong’s wife, Nari, is also very sweet, and finds Kyuhyun’s sarcastic wit funny, which makes Kyuhyun feel strangely happy.

In Russia, he takes the Trans-Siberian railway, and finds Youngwoon, who is also a traveller, and they visit St Petersburg, both finding the Vodka museum a lot of fun, and then to Moscow, and Novosibirsk, enjoying the pretty, onion-like domes and the culture. They say good-bye in a bar, both taking one last farewell shot of the stronger Russian vodka, and laughing as it burns their throats.

Next is Kyuhyun’s more experimental trip, as he flies to Tanzania, where he has volunteered himself to help build a school. It’s an oddly altruistic thing for Kyuhyun to do, but seeing as this trip seems to be about finding himself, the least he could do is help others out. He finds that the people he meets are kind, and soon, he finds Siwon, a missionary who is overly helpful and gestures with his hands an alarming amount. However, he’s good company, and the children love him. When his three months are up, Kyuhyun is proud to say that a lot of that building work was his, as he hugs Siwon good-bye and wishes him luck with his missionary work.

His second to last stop is England, and he finds it a bit of a rest after working hard. He stays in a nice hotel, and while visiting Chinatown, he finds Jungsoo, a Korean teacher with a goofy laugh and a cute dimple. He soon learns that Jungsoo is fun, and he takes Kyuhyun under his wing. Kyuhyun finds that he likes Jungsoo’s almost motherly concern, and he also likes how fun Jungsoo is. He sees a lot of things, and when Jungsoo takes him to the Tower of London, they spend an amusing hour pretending to be soldiers. Kyuhyun discovers that he enjoys the freedom of acting so childishly, once more.

His last country is China and he leaves Jungsoo, who ruffles his hair and tells him he’ll miss him. He lands in Beijing, and meets Han Geng, a mischievous man who knows about a million traditional dances and who makes great fried rice. Han Geng is amused by his stuttering Mandarin, but he isn’t any better in Korean, and he is helpful, showing Kyuhyun around the city happily. He even goes to the panda sanctuary, and watches the gigantic fluffy animals, thinking his sister would be laughing at him right now. He leaves Beijing, thanking Geng for all his help, which Geng brushes off, telling him he was happy to help.

Next, he visits the Great Wall of China, and has great childlike fun, exploring it and being awed by the amazing views. When he tires of it, though he thinks it has made him feel better, he starts up his meandering path through the country, and he finds himself in Hubei province, and in the capital, Wuhan. And it is there that he stops in café, because it has begun to rain and he doesn’t quite feel like finding a hotel just yet.

The café is warm and inviting, and as soon as he steps in, a remarkably tall waiter flashes him a huge smile and sets him down at a table, where Kyuhyun sits damply, his case deposited on the floor. The man tells him his name is Zhou Mi, and he asks what he would like to drink. Kyuhyun doesn’t say anything for a minute and stares dumbly at the man, because he is very, very bright. However, Kyuhyun thinks he likes the dyed auburn hair and chunky black glasses. He orders some sort of coffee, wondering if his Mandarin has improved any, and soon Zhou Mi is back with it.

He takes his time drinking it. He tells himself that it is because he doesn’t want to go out in the rain, but when he has ordered his second drink, he knows it’s all because he wants to stare at the beautiful waiter.

And over the next week, he finds himself always in that café, in the evening, staring at Zhou Mi. He is transfixed, he thinks, and he wonders if he’s actually going to develop the courage to say anything to other man.  But he doesn’t, instead noticing all the little things about him, like how his smile always appeared wide and happy, just as a customer came, and how his laugh was so endearing. He also noticed how he was always in tight jeans, and Kyuhyun suddenly found he had a for those long, long legs.

After the second week, Zhou Mi decided to take action, seeing as the man was most likely never going to make the first move, and he was intrigued by him. And that was how Kyuhyun found himself pressed up against Zhou Mi in a bar downtown, his shirt sticky with sweat as he ground his hips against Mimi’s, as he learned to call him. It was a little presumptuous, but considering the kisses they’d shared on the dancefloor, Zhou Mi thought it was okay to invite Kyuhyun back to his.

So Kyuhyun found himself in a relationship with the waiter from the café. It was a about three weeks later that Kyuhyun discovered that the empty feeling…just didn’t seem to exist anymore. Instead, it was replaced by that new, tingling sensation that he felt whenever Zhou Mi smiled at him, and the cheerful laughter of his new friends from his trips, and the concern of his family and friends.

And that was why, when it came to end of his stay in China, he found himself still entangled in Mimi’s arms, unwilling to go. He knew that they hadn’t been together long, but Mimi made the feeling go away, and that was what he’d been trying to do.  He doesn’t want to go back, and have that loneliness return, although he misses his family and his friends.

He’s found somewhere he belongs, and that place is bed in an apartment above a clothes-store, in the arms of a lanky Chinese man. He’s unsure what to do, until Zhou Mi wakes up and sees the glum look on his face. He doesn’t ask why he looks so sad, because he doesn’t need too. All he does is wrap his arms around the younger man’s waist, and kisses his cheek.

Kyuhyun tells him he doesn’t want to leave, that he’s happy here, and Zhou Mi only holds him tighter. He murmurs that he doesn’t want his gorgeous Kui Xian to leave him either, and they make love one last, intense time, in the already rumpled sheets. Zhou Mi watches him leave, waving goodbye as he sets off back home.

It is a couple of months later, when Kyuhyun is on the phone with both Hyukjae and Donghae, who are now in Egypt, when a knock on his door interrupts his call. He thinks it is probably Ryeowook or Sungmin, who have barely left him alone these past few weeks, as they tell him they have missed him a lot, but when he opens the door, it is neither one of them. Nor is it his family.

It’s Zhou Mi.

Kyuhyun has to end his call quickly, and he promises to call them back soon. Zhou Mi comes inside as Kyuhyun steps aside for him, lugging in a huge case in with him. Kyuhyun stares at it, until Zhou Mi announces that he has come to stay with Kui Xian, if that’s okay?

Kyuhyun can only nod slowly, as his heart thumps painfully fast. He has had to content himself with only phonecalls to Zhou Mi (interrupted by ones from the people he met on his travels), and he is struck by how much he has missed his physical presence, as Zhou Mi pulls him in a tight embrace. It must be love, Kyuhyun decides.

And love must have been what he was missing, that year ago when he set out on his journey. But he managed to find new friends and Zhou Mi, along with a lot of interesting experiences.  And as Zhou Mi holds him a little closer, he thinks he can figure out what to do with his life, as long as Mimi is beside him.