Krystal slammed her bedroom door as Sulli quietly exited to her room. Amber sat down on the couch and put on her headphones and opened her laptop. Even though she didn't say anything, Luna know how the tomboy is feeling. Victoria glanced worriedly to Luna, who in turn gave a reassuring smile. The older woman gave a small smile, thankfully that she could depend on Luna whenever she needs. 

"I'll make the dinner," Luna volunteers; Victoria nods and heads to Sulli's room. She goes to the kitchen and opens the refrigerator and got the Ben and Jerry's Dark Belgian Chocolate. She heads back and sits near the tomboy, trying her best to show her puppy eyes. Amber notices the younger girl with her favorite ice cream, and she can't help but smile when she realizes that Luna is trying to cheer her up. 

"How do you do this?" Amber asked, her mood slightly better after eating her ice cream. "Do what?" Luna asked back, still into eating her part of ice cream. 

"Being optimistic during this?" 

She knew what she was referring. Her eyes met the older ones' and wondered if she could talk. But instead, she just shrugged because she didn't think she could. That moment, Victoria came out with Sulli and Krystal. Luna gasped as she remembered something. "I forgot to make dinner," she said, feeling guilty. 

The oldest smiled instead, and said that everyone could help making the dinner. Although the two maknaes weren't as mad as before, they certainly felt much better. Even though this wasn't much, by making the dinner together and bonding after a long time, everyone felt happy. 

At least one seemed to be happy. 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Sunyoung leaned back against the door after she shut herself from her members and her persona. Her eyes looked at the reflection of herself in the mirror, and she could pick out all her flaws instantly. 

Their hoobaes are going to have one before them. That hurt a lot. 

Was it because of her that her group was not popular? She knew that she is the least popular member in her group. Is it because she is ugly? Or fat? Or is she really that unattractive? 

She felt really useless. Should she leave f(x)? Maybe if she did, then they could be more popular. Then the company would pay more attention to them. They would have more fans, a concert, a tour... If only she would disappear. 

Stop it, she told herself. She closed her eyes shut, blinking back the tears that threatened to leave. She went to her drawer beside her bed, and took out a small pocket knife that she hid from the members and everyone. Sunyoung took off her shirt, and right below her s, she slowly cut in a straight line, watching her blood sprit out. 

She welcomed the pain, a distraction from all her fears. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to drown in this feeling. As the rush faded away, she wondered if she should do it again, but then decided against it. Too much could cause attraction, and Sunyoung hated that. 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Onew had just finished his practice for SHINee's comeback. The other members had already left before since he wanted a bit more time to perfect his dance. As he started to pack up his things, he heard the door open and turned to look Luna coming inside. It didn't take much long for her to lock the door and crash her lips against his. 

He knew who is Luna and who is Sunyong, after accidentally finding out her scars. He was going to tell someone else to help her, but she stopped him. He could help her too, by giving his body to her. And he did, since he was ready to help her at that time. 

It was an healthier way for Sunyoung than cutting and hurting herself. She was playing around at first, messing around with Onew and was just having fun. But things started to get serious, and she liked it when he held her when she suddenly started to cry. She liked how his strong arms wrapping around her body, and the comfortable silence after their time. Maybe she could get cure, and maybe Sunyoung could be Luna. 

But their relationship was a forbidden one. Not because of their idol status or their company wishes, but because Onew's relationship with Jungah. 

He loves Jungah, she knows that very well. She knows that he would do anything to kept her from leaving her. Jungah was about to when she found out his "past" and "current" relationship with Luna, but she gave him a warning. If Onew was caught again with Luna, Jungah would officially leave from his life. 

Onew knows he won't able to get Jungah back again. Sunyoung knows that too, but she will keep pushing until it will reach the point where it will break. 

It took a while since Onew noticed that Sunyoung was already on top of him and had taken off her shirt. His eyes saw the new scar above her stomach, the red line screaming for attention. She did it again, so even with "being" with him isn't helping her, then why should he take a risk?

"Stop it Sunyoung," he said softly as he gently pushed her away. He has been seeing a little glimpses of Luna when she is Sunyoung, and her eyes were getting bright with something. But now her eyes are cold as ice as she stares back at his guilty-filled eyes. 

She thought that if she is with someone normal, maybe she would become normal as well. Maybe he would be able to make her feel okay. Maybe everything would turn out to be fine and then she can be happy. Maybe Onew would make her feel like Luna, and she wouldn't need to fill any pain to feel relief. 

But there are some times when it didn't help when she was with him. Even after spending some time, those feelings would still rush back into her. She wasn't cured at all; maybe she is incurable. She realizes that she can never put the broken pieces back, even with his help. 

She allowed him to put her shirt back, noticing how careful he was not to touch any skin. She knew that some day this would be over, but she had hoped that she would cured by then. She had hoped not to love him. Deep inside, she had hoped that he would fall for her, and everything would be okay. But this isn't a fairy tale, and it's time for her wake up, or be put back into sleep. 

If he can't cure her, then who can? In shows, they show how doctors or people help others, but can they understand something they never felt? Would hearing these fake words and advises actually work on her? Or would she be judged because of her feelings? 

As Onew got up and picked up his stuff, she knew that there is no hope. And for the first time, she felt in peace. He looked one last time at Sunyoung, and was about to leave when her words stopped him. 

"Jinki, you know I love you right?" 

He looked back at her eyes, which seemed dangerous. He had a gut feeling that something bad was going to happen. He pushed that thought away, Sunyoung isn't that stupid. His gut feeling wanted him to stay with her, but his brain wanted to walk away. He took one last look at Sunyoung: in a small smile, her black hair falling softly on her shoulders. Her eyes were a mixture of happy and sad, as if she expected this reaction from him. But there was also a pleading expression in them, asking him to stay with her now. Her face had that look too, as if his action right now would make her future decision final. 

He loves Jungah too much, and he couldn't afford to lose her again. So he walked away without another word. But he promised himself that he was going to find someone else to help Sunyoung, even if it is not him. He was going to help her in some way but telling some who could be trusted, and everything would be alright. She would be happy without him, and they both will look back at this with a positive feeling with no regret. 

What he didn't know was that those are going to be her last words..