To the dearest you,

Life’s rough like a crushed candy, hurts like stabbed, and unhealed. Cloud nine isn’t as good as what it feels to be.

I didn’t mean to be like that (I just don’t even feel). To be somewhat like a monster.

I know that I’m a troublemaker, destructive, unlucky, attention seeker, rebel, stubborn, and many more. I always know. But, I didn’t mean to. I just don’t mean any bad. In the end, guilt’s over me.

I don’t want you to be in this situation, where you’re inside – in front of me when I told this. I don’t want to have comments. I don’t even want to.

Maybe, if I’m gone, will you be happy? Will you feel cloud nine without me? I’m sure it is, because you used to feel all hell with me.

I know that I’m not a good person by heart. But, it’s all useless for me if I tried to be better, to be good. Can you just forgive me?

I can’t say this is the end. I don’t know when God will take me away. I just don’t know okay. I don’t need a pity, even just any heal. Because I have, always have a shoulder to lean on. Not you because you couldn’t understand what I felt, what I wanted to say, and what’s wrong with me. I have someone, and it’s with me.

Of course, you don’t understand. I know. You don’t need to figure everything out, as if that you care about me. As if that you know those everything’s in life. Why?

Because you were just another stranger to me. Just say hi, ask why, and going out from relations with me. Not even caring, and know the situation, know what was hidden behind my eyes. I hate to tell about them, at all. I don’t need any sympathies.

Lastly, I know that sorry is not enough to cover all your disappointments, my bad things, everything that I’ve done. You have become a stranger in my life, is enough for me. A thank you will be good so.

I’m sorry for everything and anything.

Sincerely,

Your best friend.

[June 20^th, 2013]