But you didn’t.

 

-

 

I clearly remember the first time that yoda-ish boy followed me afterschool like a creepy stalker.

 

I have to admit that he was—in the matter of fact, creepy especially when he flashed his ear to ear grin to people around. I didn’t even know him, yet he always flash me a big weird smile every time we bump to each other or even when we walked in the same corridor.

 

I wondered whether he have a neuron problem or was it just his habit to always smile.

 

But nevertheless, I didn’t expect to be friend with him months after he started to always stalked me form school. That particular day, I stopped in my track, looked back at the ridiculously tall boy and asked him what he wanted.

 

He was blabbering as he tried to choose words while rubbing his nape. I have to admit that he was a stupidly awkward boy. After minutes of mumbling, and as I grew tired of him. I turned my back on him and said something I wanted to say for a long time ago.

 

“Go away.”

 

I didn’t expect him to say something back.

 

“Wait! I-I want to be your friend.”

 

He said he want to be my friend.

-

 

I ever swore that I’d never need anyone in my life except myself.

 

But stupidly, Chanyeol came along.

 

After we graduated from high school, I didn’t really have much to do. Chanyeol and I had been friends for about two years back then and we practically did everything together. It’s just that he had a life goal, while I had none. I was kind of homeless after the graduation because I couldn’t afford to pay rent.

 

I never imagine someone to be as stupid as Chanyeol, sacrificed his army test just to pulled me out of the train as I was about to leave Seoul to go back to anywhere that would accept me. He pulled my hand off the luggage as he stared at me, panting from what I thought would be running and cupped my cheeks.

 

“Chanyeol what are you doing here?! What about your-“

 

“I can have it next year.”

 

“But-“

 

He cut me with one desperate sentence though.

 

“Please don’t go.”

 

-

 

 

 

I remembered it was winter because my hands were freeing as I sat awkwardly on the couch in Chanyeol’s house.

 

I had been living there for more than three weeks that time, yet I still couldn’t adjust to the whole new situation from me.  Chanyeol had been too nice to me, told me that he couldn’t live by himself and told me that I shouldn’t live by myself either. He told me that we could take care of each other and stuffs.

 

Somehow I felt uneasy.

 

But one thing that I never imagined is to have Chanyeol, on his knees looking up at me as he held my hands. He looked at me with his big charming eyes as he began to speak.

 

“Baekhyun I know this is not stupid. I love you.”

 

He said he love me.

 

“I want to protect you.”

 

He said he want to protect me.

 

“I want you to be mine.”

 

He said he want me to be his.

 

 

And there was the story of our life began.

 

 

 

---

---

---

 

 

Chanyeol,

 

Every day after that day seemed to be perfect with you.

 

To woke up on a warm chest of yours. To see your morning face, and at times when I woke up fist, I could see the trace of drool on your chin. You were really just, just the cutest dork ever.  But times when I woke up first, I occasionally didn’t left bed before you. Because I loved to lay on your chest and hearing your heart beat. To inhaled that intoxicating scent of yours. What did you use, really? You said it was your natural scent but I knew you were lying, Yeol.

 

You insisted to make the breakfast, even putting some stupid smiley decoration made by ketchup and bacon. I told you, you were stupid, but deep, deep in my heart I love it. It was just hard for me to express my feelings freely, you know.

 

I was totally awkward with boyfriend things but-

 

“Love shouldn’t be awkward, Baek. Love is natural, do whatever you want to do. Say what you want to say.”

 

You said, looking at me as I sat on your lap. My head was hung low as I nodded and mumbled some ‘Sorry’ to you. But you only lifted up my chin and made me look straight at your calming eyes.

 

That time, you kissed me for the first time.

 

You took away my first kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

---

 

Yeollie, remember the day I borrowed your new car and dented it?

 

I thought you’d kill me

 

But you didn’t

 

So on one Sunday morning, I sneaked away from your warm embrace to walked downstairs to the garage.

 

That day, really, I just wanted to do something for you.

 

So I dragged bucket, put some drops of car’s soap and began to wash your new car. Really, your car were just two days old back then, yet, it looked like you had been out to pig’s mud or something, what did you do?

 

Have you ever wondered how was the dent on your car’s door formed?

 

I was just too excited, and the image of you happy seeing at least me, doing something for you really clouded my mind. When I brought a bucket of dry rugs to dried the car, I slipped. The bucket hit the car’s door quiet hard it left a pretty deep dent on it.

 

I was panicked.

 

Minutes after that, you saw me wet, ugly, and almost crying. I was apologizing like a stupid maid as I tried to explain what happened and I was really sorry.

 

You shushed me.

 

And weirdly, you were worried about me.

 

Later that evening, you drove me with your car to somewhere I didn’t even know.

 

But when we arrived there, it was such a beautiful place.

 

We watched sunset.

 

And you kissed me again.

 

 

 

 

---

 

Hey Chanyeol, remember that day I vomited strawberry pie all over your new carpet?

 

I thought you’d hate me.

 

But you didn’t.

 

You said I was sick and it’s okay for sick people to vomit.

 

You cleaned the mess I created. It was disgusting you know, I was disgusted with my own vomit. It looked like watery poop with some pink chunks of strawberry.  Were you really sane back then, Yeol? Why’d you do that?

 

You even blamed yourself for giving me that strawberry pie even though we both knew that I was the one who begged for that pie even when you said no.

 

You even tucked me to bed that day, you hugged me, you kissed my forehead and hoped that I would get better.

 

I hate you for when you blamed yourself just to make me felt better.

 

 

 

 

---

 

Oh! Remember that day I insisted to go to the beach, and it really was raining as you said it would?

 

I thought you’d say, “I told you so.”

 

But you didn’t

 

That morning I told you when we were still in bed that I’m feeling like going to the beach and maybe swim there. I wanted some ocean air and maybe just spend time with you there.

 

You looked at the window for a bit before you kissed my nose.

 

“I think it will be raining, Baek.” Chanyeol said and kissed the corner of Baekhyun’s lips.

 

I also remembered I pouted back then because I knew you’d give me whatever I want if I pull that out. Psh, yeah I was a prick back then I know. But truthfully, I just wanted to spend time with you differently.

 

And I still don’t get this but how could you guess weather? Because when we arrived there and maybe just minutes after playing with the sand, I felt cold sky tears fell down on our body. I looked at you wide eyed as you laughed.

 

“How could you-“

 

You cut my words as you kissed me. Wow, you really loved to cut my sentences, did you?

 

 

 

---

 

 

And lastly, remember that day I flirted with all guys just to make you jealous, and you really did get jealous?

 

I was scared to death,

 

 

I thought you’d leave me

 

 

But you didn’t

 

It was Kris’s birthday party. And I remember clearly it was summer because a lot of people were shirtless. All dancing wildly against each other.

 

Stupidly, I wanted to try something.

 

Yeah yeah I was stupid, I shouldn’t have ever questioning your love for me.

 

I remember you were talking to Kris so animatedly I thought you forget me. I’m sorry I was a jealous boyfriend back then, I knew that Kris was your best friend and he was just came back from Canada and I knew you missed him so bad.

 

But you know, I was stupid. I drank liquor back then—when clearly, I wasn’t good with anything except water. My intention was just to flirt with some guys and made sure you saw it. But I couldn’t control myself when I started to made out with a guy. I remember it was Jongin, our junior from high school.

 

I really was feeling dirty, and it felt like I’d been cheating on you, again, I was stupid. I was immature even though you I was older than you.

 

I didn’t even realized when I was sandwiched between two males, all were our junior. They even grinded their dirty groin to my body. I was trying to escape by pushing the boys as consciousness took over.

 

That was when I felt a pair of arms pulled me from the chaos and you pressed me to your chest.

 

I knew I was in trouble.

 

I remember it when you pulled me out from the mansion as you trapped your hands between my shoulders.

 

I was trying so hard to open my eyes and not to look at you. But your strong hand lifted my chin so I met your eyes. When I looked at your eyes I saw disappointment, and I felt a pang of guilty on my chest.

 

“Baekhyun.. why?”

 

“I-I’m sorry.. I was.. I was just je-jealous..”

 

“What?”

 

“Over you and Kris.. I-I know I’m stupid, he- he is your best friend when-“

 

“So you did that?”

 

I nodded and sighed, “I’m sorry..”

 

“Baekhyun.. I’m yours, and you’re mine. I love you, okay?”

 

 

Thing that I can never forget that latter that night, you touched me gently. You made love to me to prove that you were mine, to prove that you really loved me, to prove that you would take care of me, love me and those sweet things.

 

And I remember I shed tears because of your sweet love.

 

 

I remember couple days after that you went to the army. I knew that was your dream since the very beginning and I had no power to beg you to stay with me.

 

 

Only to know that two years after you discharged from the army, you said they will send you to Afghanistan for a duty.

 

I cried for nights because of that. You always had me in your arms to say that you’ll be fine, you’ll be back just before I even know it.

 

“And you will be waiting in the airport three years from now, you’ll run and hug me and kiss me like your life I depend on it. Just like that scenes in romantic drama you always watch, Baek.” Chanyeol whispered to Baekhyun’s ears soothingly.

 

I didn’t even care about that duty, I didn’t want you to leave me. Alone.

 

You said it was only for three years.

 

So I let you go.

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

For those three years I realized that there were lots of things you didn’t do, but you put up with me,

 

It had been exactly three years. Baekhyun stood between the people patiently, fidgeting with his fingers. He looked at the arrival schedule just right in front of him.

 

Loved me,

 

He couldn’t wait to run to Chanyeol and threw himself to his lover

 

Protected me,

 

He could see men with army uniforms starting to came out one by one, running to their beloved ones, Baekhyun smile grew looking at the beautiful sight

 

And  there were lots of things I wanted to make up to you,

 

It had been thirteen minutes Baekhyun waited. He keep stood up, tidying his clothes a bit, didn’t want Chanyeol to saw him ugly. His smile never fade.

 

He saw a man approached him. Similar figure with Chanyeol.

 

The man talked to him

 

“Are you Byun Baekhyun?” he asked, Bakehyun who confused, just nodded.

 

When you returned from war,

 

The rest became blurred as the man handed Bakehyun a necklace with metallic plate on it.

 

It was Chanyeol’s necklace.

 

“I’m sorry .. I couldn’t save him.”

 

But you didn’t.

 

 

---

 

 

Thanks for reading and dropping comment