Part 1
draw me in close (so i can't turn back)Note: To be honest, this would read so much better if it was one long story rather than chapters. But I'm busy so I can only work on this in parts... I'll probably recombine them once I'm done
“...and it's obvious that she’s totally into you!” Jongin nods vigorously. “Luna’s a bombshell. You should go for it!”
Sehun shrugs and looks out the window. “I don’t think so,” he replies, tugging his collar.
Jongin shoots him a strange look. “You know how many girls were flirting with you at Key’s party?” He pauses. “Seven. You're almost getting as good as me."
“I don’t really think so...?” Sehun answers lightly, ignoring the incredulous expression on Jongin’s face.
“You’re so weird. You do realize girls hit on you, right?”
Sehun makes a noncommittal sound and pretends he doesn’t want his chair to swallow him so he doesn't have to look at the eager expression on Jongin's face. No, because I'm too busy watching you, you .
“Do you even talk to any girls?” Sehun ponders this question.
“I talk to Jinri. She’s in most of my classes anyways,” Sehun says and Jongin looks like he wants to tear his hair out in frustration. Given Jongin's horrible decision making skills- the time he actually set his hair on fire freshman year comes to mind- Sehun wouldn't put it past him. He really hopes his inability to be attracted to girls won't the cause of Jongin's premature baldness, since his hair is basically God's gift to humanity (Sehun will never understand how Jongin can wake up at noon with horrible bedhead, run his hand through his hair in some dumb attempt to tame it, and still look like he's advertising some cologne and supposed to be dripping y.)
“Jinri has a boyfriend!" Jongin breaks Sehun out of his short reverie. "They’re basically married to each other already. Unless you have some plan to break up their relationship or just hook up with her because that could potentially work and I’d be willing to put aside my morals for this if-” Jongin rambles between bites of food, with loud hand gestures.
Sehun laughs, cutting off Jongin before he can finish his plan. “You’re so strange.”
Jongin glares. “What are you talking about? You’re the strange one, not wanting a girlfriend and all.You should take advantage of your golden years before no one wants your wrinkly, old body.”
"Not all of us feel the compelling need to bone every girl we meet." Sehun laughs again and Jongin pouts in response, like he's five. But it kind of works, because Jongin has a killer puppy-dog face and Sehun has to resist the temptation to poke him in the cheek because a pouting Jongin is really ing adorable.
Jongin generally manages to switch between super-smokin’-attractive to puppy-level-adorable in a blink.
It probably isn’t normal to think of your best friend as “super-smokin’-attractive,” Sehun realizes.
And that is precisely why Oh Sehun’s life is ed.
It's not like Sehun woke up one day and realizes- oh , I'm gay.
He goes through high school like every quiet, geeky kid: hiding in too big sweatshirts and glasses and shadowy library corners. But he has friends and there are girls whose smiles he thinks are particularly bright and whose laughs ring in his ears.
Sehun even has a girlfriend his sophomore year, a firey redhead who confessed to him after school when the lockers were empty. Amber has interesting eyes, so he says yes and spends the next week trying to plan a date that won't disappoint her before she laughs in his face and takes him to the elemantary school playground.
He likes the way she doesn't care about how her long legs kick up mulch from under the swing set and how she still has a flash of uncertainty as she eases herself to the fireman's pole but slides down anyways.
When she kisses him the first time, he thinks of yellow slides and red mulch and wonders if it's supposed to feel like anything more than just their skin brushing each other. He pulls away, and she laughs at his awkward expression and asks if she's his first. It's probably normal to not like kissing that much, Sehun tells himself, because he still likes playing soceer with Amber and listening to her rock albums in the library as they finish their homework. He like having someone actually want to be around him and not shove him into lockers because he's easy prey.
It's a month into their relationship when Sehun meets her brother Kris, who by all means should be scary but is a friendly giant and a giant that takes Sehun's breath away with his bleached bangs and pouty lips.
When she kisses him that night, he closes his eyes and thinks of stronger hands against his back and broad shoulders. His eyes fly open and he breaks away from her. The next day, he tells Amber that it isn't going to work out, that he's sorry and ignores the disappointment in her eyes.
He doesn't really know how everyone else ends up knowing. Maybe they don't; maybe they just smell his insecurity from a mile away and go in for the blood. Either way, the tiled locker room floor is too familiar for his liking.
"Baekhyun's throwing a party tonight," Jongin ambushes Sehun after dance practice. Okay, perhaps 'ambushes' is too strong a word because they are best friends so it should be completely normal, but he knows Jongin has noticed that Sehun has kind of been avoiding him.
"I have work. There's a huge physics test and economic project due tomorrow," Sehun says, rubbing his eyes. It is true, but Jongin doesn't have to know that Sehun has a 4-page study guide and may have already finished all the practice problems in the textbook. He tells himself he doesn't feel that bad about tring to get rid of Jongin.
Jongin pouts and Sehun sighs because, damn, that look is always his weakness. Like a shark smelling blood in the water, Jongin latches to lapse in Sehun's momentary lapse in judgement.
"Come on, you know you want to come. We can leave early or something." Jongin pouts again. "It's been forever since we've hung out."
And since he does feel like a ty friend for purposefully trying to avoid Jongin and implement Plan: Ignore Problematic Feelings By Not Dealing, he manages to convince Jongin to watch the newest superhero movie in the afternoon instead. They start out with their homework in front of them on the rug and the movie playing in front of them. Jongin laughs when Sehun grumbles about the inaccuracies of the movies (Momentum doesn't work like that, he grumbled, until Jongin shoved popcorn into his mouth. Shut up already. That explosion was ing awesome!) By the time the credits roll down, there's popcorn spread across the floor and they're half-laughing, half-scrambling to clean it up before Taemin comes back. Jongin shoots him a smile, pure and happy, and Sehun feels kind of guilty for avoiding him.
He almost wants to say somthing. All it would take is a few words. I'm-
But he knows Jongin wouldn't understand.
He meets Jongin in freshman year because his roommate is a breakdancer and drags him to tryouts for dance team when Sehun expresses the slightest bit of interest in dance (To be honest, it's his second week and he's just trying to be open minded. He's still not used to other people actually wanting him to go places with them enough to say no.)
His roommate Yixing, frankly, is amazing, and so is another freshman, Jongin, who Sehun had assumed was one of the team already because he was hanging out with the upperclassmen. Jongin is a star- every movement exudes energy and passion and watching him dance takes Sehun's breath away. He feels like he makes quite a fool of himself in comparison, especially after he awkwardly tells the panel of upperclassmen that this is his first time dancing. Ever. So he doesn't quite believe his eyes when he actually gets an email with "congratulatious" spelled out in obnoxious neon font.
Of the freshman, Jongin makes it in too- no surprise to anyone- and so does Yixing. It's obvious very quickly that Sehun's no where near their level. Jongin is effortless fluidity and Yixing is sharp flawless movements; in comparison, Sehun feels like he has two left feet.
It's not for lack of trying. Sehun stays behind every practice, running through the movements, trying to burn them into his memory. It's just that he has so much less experience. Today, he can't seem to get the footwork down without tripping himself, and he blows his bangs out of his eyes after another failed attempt.
"Not bad." A voice remarks from the back of the room. Jongin sends him a sharp grin. "Try to keep your weight more centered instead of leaning back."
Sehun nods, trying not to feel self-concious about his obvious lack of skill and how much he's holding back their team. He knows Jongin doesn't mean harm- he might be forgetful, he might be insensitive at times, but he hasn't purposefully thrown anybody under the bus. Yet.
The thing is, he's still kind of terrified of Jongin at first because Jongin is everything Sehun both fears and wishes he could be- he's confident and charismatic and can have a whole room wrapped around his pinky finger in a matter of seconds. He has the power to turn a whole room against someone with just a few words.
"Damn, you're improving so fast. I can't believe you just started." Jongin shakes his head incredulously. "It took me like five years of ballet to figure out how to control my limbs and make them move on the beat."
Sehun knows he's exaggerating, trying to make Sehun feel less self-concious about how much he . But the praise still curls in his stomach.
"Don't try to kid yourself, Jongin. Your dancing is eons ahead of the rest of us." Sehun snorts. "If anything, you should be jealous that I actually have a brain to control my limbs with. It's kind of useful outside of dance too."
He's tired and his limbs are dead weights and the sentence slips out of his mouth without a second thought. He shoots Jongin a weak grin, while he internally panics- - and wonders how hard he just screwed up because damn where did that brain-to-mouth filter go? but Jongin laughs, deep and slow from his chest.
"You do have some spark in you." He grins playfullly and Sehun shoots him a small smile in return before turning back to the mirror.
In the first months of freshman year, when everyone is still trying to find their place and solidify connections and friendships, Sehun and Jongin end up clinging to each other.
Jongin, Sehun realizes, goes through life kind of like a puppy, searching for fun and turning his blind eye to his homework, and he doesn't mind when Jongin teases him good-naturedly about his love for physics homework or his inability to form coherent sentences before 10 am.
Months later, even after Yixing drifts away and spends his lunch hanging out with the Chinese exchange students, somehow they still end up friend. Sehun thinks it's because there are few people who see past Jongin's bright exterior, who notice the slump in his shoulders after a difficult test or how his body tenses up when he's frustrated about a dance sequence. But Sehun always says yes if Jongin asks him if he wants to order takeout after dance and Sehun always invites him over to his dorm to play Call of Duty after dinner when he knows Jongin had finished a test earlier that day. Sehun will always be willing to help Jongin out with his Introductory Physics homework, and Jongin never seems to mind that Sehun is so much less experienced with dance and runs through the chreography an extra dozen times after practice so Sehun can burn the steps into his memory.
They do it without thinking; it's just kind of the way they are.
"I got an invite to Chanyeol's party tonight!" Jongin screeches to Sehun during lunch, one Friday.
"Don't get drunk and end up puking on Soojung," Sehun says, pushing his glasses up his nose and jots down a couple numbers from his calculator. He's only half-joking because Jongin isn't nearly as suave as he likes to think after chugging a couple beers. "Or actually do it. It'd be hilarious, especially if someone posts it online."
"Nah, man. Chanyeol's already covered the puking-drunk friend." Jongin says, grinning Sehun finishes another question.
"But it's an open invitation for you to come with- a best friend's job is play the wingman and help me capture her heart, after all."
Oh, Sehun thinks, Best friend. He's never had a best friend before, let alone been one, but Jongin's definitely the closest he's come.
"Sure."
He scribbles the date in tiny letters at the end of his homework and scrambles to follow Jongin out the room.
Comments