It's been 3 years since she left me. I still missed her though she had hurt me so deep. She was my first love and thought would be my only love for the rest of my life. But things didn't work out my way and now I'm all alone in Seoul with a broken heart that is closed to any other girls.

Many girls came to me after they found out I'm single again. I rejected all of them and even told them I'm gay just to stop the numbers coming in. I just couldn't bring myself to love again. Yes, maybe I'm afraid I will be cheated again or maybe because I just couldn't forget about her. 

This day, I was cycling to work from my house. It was a beautiful morning for a depressed person like me. It was kinda crowded today maybe because it was the first day of elementary school so many cars were parked along the road sides and many parents were gathering outside the school. My office is just behind the school so I gotta pass by it. It was so crowded so it was really hard. I was really careful but then I still knock down someone round the corner.

It wasn't really my fault because that person was the one who bumped into me. I was almost about to curse when this person lifted up her head and our eyes meet. Oh my goodness she looks almost like my ex girlfriend, just a little  more prettier. I quickly helped her up and apologized profusely. She did the same to me. I watched her while she went to pick her things up on the ground. She was kind of limping her way, I think she had sprained her ankle. So I went up to her and offered help.

"Thank you, I'm okay. I am almost late for work so I gotta run!", she said while pointing towards my office.

"You are working there? I'm a staff there but I don't see you around!", I was surprised.

"Really? What a fate! It's my first day of job actually." She laughed.

"God must be playing a joke on me!" I thought to myself.

After that I walked her to my office. She is a new staff from human resource while I'm working in finance department so we need to work hand in hand. That day we went lunch together and I even sent her home.

We were kinda close for a few months and I found out she has a lot of similarities like my ex. It's just like a clone of my ex. I feel comfortable with her and really happy. She has brought me out of my depressed days.

About 6 months later, I asked her to be my girlfriend. I want to start a new with a new girl. She accepted my courtship, in fact, she was on cloud 9 when I confessed. She joked that if I didn't ask any sooner, she will propose to me. Like my ex, she confessed and asked me out. When she said that to me, I couldn't help but recall how my ex confessed to me. It is really heartwarming but at the same time it hurts.

It was our first date today and she dressed really well. I saw her smiling and waving hard at me. I was still some distance away but she couldn't wait and ran to me, holding my hand. I can smell her perfume. It was the same as my ex. Totally same reaction and same scent, I couldn't help but think of her again.

After 2 rounds of movies, we had our dinner at a restaurant my ex really loved. It was an Italian restaurant. She ordered the same food as my ex and would also pick the most same favourite to eat last. I watched her eat is like watching my ex. She looked back at me and smile, I smiled back too, but my heart wasn't.

Dinner's done and we were strolling along the streets walking home. She rested her head on my chest just like my ex would do always. We were in silence enjoying each other's warmth and the cold breezes blowing through our faces. Soon, we were at her door steps, she hugged me and I hugged her back. But I wasn't thinking about her. I was thinking of someone else. She planted a kiss on my cheeks and went into her house.

I went home after that and recalled what we did today. I should be thinking about her, but my mind were all about my ex. I missed my ex's strong perfume scent, the way she eats, her hugs, her kiss, everything! I really want her back but I have someone else now, who treasures me and loves me wholeheartedly.

i gave myself another chance and try to love my current special someone. The more I try, the more I couldn't stop relating it back to my ex. Our relationship has been going in for months and I still couldn't stop thinking someone in the past. I don't know what to do. I thought I should just tell her that I'm still not ready, I don't wanna hurt her and we should take a break.

I was prepared to tell her at work today. But she didn't show up at work. I thought she is taking sick leave but why didn't tell me about it. I called her but her number was not in used. I was devastated. Later, boss came and passed me a letter that is from her.

"She handed in her resignation earlier today and asked me to pass this letter to you.", Boss said.

I went back to my seat and starts to read the letter.

"While you are reading this letter, I will be at some where you can't find me. Maybe you will not be bothered to find me since I'm not her. I know you still have not forgotten her. I can tell through your expression and actions. You pretend to look happy when you are with me. You can be laughing and smiling but it is still lacking. I saw the smile on your face when you looked at her photo. That kind of smile I can't find it when you are with me. When you hugged me or kissed me, I couldn't feel your warmth and love. It is like I'm having you but I can't have your soul and heart. I pretend to be happy, pretend not to know everything but I'm getting tired of this one sided love. I really love you when I first met you, I thanked God for it. Even our time being together is short but I'm still thankful. I just hope it can last longer than it should be. I hope one day you can really find a girl that you really love. I hope you can get over your past and live a better life. Always remember there is always someone who will stands behind you when you need it. There will be me. As long you are happy, I will be happy. I love you, please take care."

I was speechless when I read this. My heart hurts a little but I didn't cry which I did for my ex. Somehow I was relieved that she made this move first because it was too hard for me to say it. I tried to find her but it was hard because she didn't have many friends.

I'm back to my bachelor days and out of fun I went into an audition by some media company. And wow I got in! I accepted the offer, I thought I should start afresh with something new and with other new friends.

I was trained for about 2 years and my group got really popular. I also learnt songwriting and composing. I wrote a song "Missing You" in one of our albums. It tells my love story with the 2 girls. I hope somewhere in this world, they would recognize me and listen to the song I wrote dedicating to the 2 special girls in my life. Hoping my message will get to them and some day I will meet them again.