Chapter Twenty-Four

Your POV

Oh my god. My eyes were fixated on the screen as I took a few heavy steps even closer to have a better view. I felt so hopeless since I couldn't do anything standing behind the stage. It was only up to them. My fingers were already linked as both my hands held close to each other tightly. I mentally prayed for them as I puffed my cheeks once a while, then huffing as I released the air. My knuckles were already white by then. I could clearly spot through the screen how the other members were aghast as well at the situation.

It turned silent at the blink of an eye as the fans stopped chanting as well, equally surprised by Sehun's actions. Sehun was stupefied and didn't move as his face was blank with panic. The song was still playing and thankfully, it was the one with their voices. Since it was their first performance, the company has decided for them to use the one with their voices and they could lipsync. But of course, they could sing into the microphone as well if they wanted to.

But right after Sehun had dropped his microphone and caused a peircing sound, Jongin swiflty bent down according to the choreograph and picked it up after realizing what had happened. Sehun seemed to have caught it and snapped back to his senses before he slightly moved his mouth, continueing to rap according to the song. I held my breath while watching the screen intensely until the performance come to an end. I was grateful that the fans still continued to cheer on with loud screams after the performance ended despite their mistakes. I watched them bowed and waved to the fans before leaving from the back.

Some other staffs came along to help them wipe their sweats and fixed their make up as they stepped down the small flight of stairs from the stage. I bit my lips in concern as my eyes naturally went straight to Sehun, who was looking as pale as ever. Is there something wrong with him? Did he feel uncomfortable or something? I was about to walk to him when another staff had already went to him and helped him. I looked around before my eyes caught Luhan who was crouching on his knees, breathing heavily.

"Hey, you okay? You guys did great," I smiled as I placed the small white towel over his neck. One of his hands grabbed one side before he lifted the side to dabbed it on his face gently, espescially at his forehead. He looked up and his lips curled to a smile before he thanked me. I realized how the ends of his fringe was wet from the sweat. I felt a weigh on my shoulder and turned my head just to see that he put his arms over my shoulder. "I can't walk when I'm out of energy. You need to help me," he smirked as he deliberately leaned on me. I scoffed before holding onto his arm and supporting him to walk back to their changing room.

"Guys, let's go and party! We need to celebrate!!" Tao shouted with a wide smile in broken Korean before Baekhyun corrected him with a nudge. Other members gladly agreed as they started chattering continuously while we head for the van. Mainly, it was because the staffs had informed me that there was not much problem with their performance on live since the camera was done well enough to cover it flawlessly. When it was Sehun's turn, they had no choice but to shoot the other members instead of him to avoid the mistake being seen. Luckily, they returned to shooting Sehun quickly after he got back to normal.

Ever since the performance, I was also quietly observing Sehun. Despite the fact that many of the members told him it was alright and that we would always make mistakes sometimes, he still looked depressed. Actually, it seemed as if his soul already left his body. I could tell he was blaming everything on himself and felt cuplable. He knew he was responsible for the performance turning out like that.

"Come on Su Mi, what are you thinnking?" Luhan snapped his fingers in front of me as I jumped slightly. "Oh...n-nothing!" I insisted with a smile as my hands waved despairingly. My eyes travelled back to Sehun who was just looking and focusing on the ground he walked on; as if in deep thoughts as he kicked the ground with his hands in his pockets stiffly. I closed my eyes and hesitated on whether I should ask how he was first as i bit the inside of my cheeks. I let out a groan realizing I couldn't not do it. "I'll be right back. You can go up the van first,"

Luhan looked startled for a moment before he followed my gaze and understood what I was trying to do. Before he could say anything, i had already made my way to Sehun. I sauntered in wary steps befgore slowing down beside him. I was scratching my palm with my fingernails since I felt skittish. He didn't even seemed to notice my presence as he continued to walk facing down. "S-Sehun," I called out softly.

He seemed dazed but still looked up at the mention of his name. His eyes widened slightly to see me before he realized he couldn't control his expression and barely replaced it with his stoic face. "Are you okay? Are you not feeling well?" I asked. He flinched slightly and I caught his lips quivering slightly before he shook his head. "I'm fine,"

He figetted before sensing it was awkward since he ended the conversation just with a two words answer. To avoid the awkwardness, he bowed his head at me slightly which surprised me before he quickly strutting and getting into the van. I frowned when I figured out there was something wrong with him. He didn't want to confess it and tell anyone which perturbed me. Will he even be alright? I snapped out of my thoughts when I thought that I may be just exaggerrating as well. Maybe he just wasn't in a good mood.

"We need some girls here! Other than Su Mi," Chanyeol shouted into the mic after a few more hours. I knew they were acting like this because they were worried about Sehun as well. They knew that he must have felt bad and guilty for the mistake he made since he was silent ever since it happened. Even in the karaoke room that they managed to reserve, he was as still as wood. He remained sitted on the couch for the whole of 3 hours while the other members sang wildly. His soul had long left his body. The other members tried to urge and persuade him to have some fun and sing as well but he rejected it with a bitter smile.

"Yeah, girls can cheer our Sehun up," Baekhyun added while the other members agreed. Sehun didn't say anything in return. Before I knew it, Luhan sneaked to my side on the couch I was sitting on, his body bumping onto my shoulder. I turned around and casted him a look. "Something's wrong with Sehun," he whispered wiithout keeping his eyes off him. Sehun was just sitting there, staring blankly while being oblivious to everyone's behaviour to him. I nodded while staring at his figure as well.

Most of the members kept quiet as well whie casting one another looks to go and talk to Sehun. While being the innocent one, I was shoved to his side before I could processed it. I glared at Tao who was responsible for it while he shook his shoulders, refraining a smile. He gave me a sign to try and have a conversation with him while I shook my head vigorously. I can't do it.

Right when I looked back, I jumepd slightly since he stood up all of a sudden. Every member kept their eyes on his every action while I looked up timidly with wide eyes. His face was stoic and he glanced around emotionlessly. "Are you guys done? Let's leave," he said before taking his jacket and putting it over his arm, walking out of the room. What just happened? The room instantly plunged into as silentce, so silent even a pin drop could be heard. I gulped.

"Go to sleep guys, we have more things to start on from tomorrow onwards," I mentioned to them while some had already headed to their rooms. Baekhyun, who heard me, stopped in his tracks just to grab Chanyeol who was heading for his room by the collar as well, making him jerked backwards. He gave me a slight grin and gestured for me to call them if I need help with handling Sehun. Chanyeol added a sign to tell me to give up and leave Sehun alone before both of them went to their room together afterwards. I trudged to my room as well and opened the door, trying to be as quiet as I could. After closing the door from my back, Sehun and Luhan were both on the bed using their phones. I didn't speak much and went to my bed, reminding them about their trip to China for tomorrow night before I tried to close my eyes and sleep with lights on.

It wasn't long before I heard a click, signalling that they have turned off the lights to sleep as well. I was indeed worried about Sehun, but decided that he could handle things himself. I pushed all the thoughts to the back of my head before biting my lips, trying to fall asleep. He was near me on his bed as well, why should I worry? He seemed fine. Sleep, Su Mi!

In the middle of the night however, I was very wrong about my hunch. I was woken up by some sounds. I turned around and opened my eyes but couldn't see much since it was dark. But I clearly saw some movements. It didn't take me long to figure out Sehun stood up from his bed. He walked to the door quietly before opening it, some light rays passing through, quickly disappearing after he went out and closed the door. I sighed before turning back to  my original position, telling myself to sleep and not bother him.

There was something, however bugging me to follow him out and check if he was alright.

I let out a frustrated groan at myself before sitting up from the bed, embittered by him. I tried to be as tranquil as I could while turning the door knob and stepping out. I scanned the whole living room which greeted my view to check for any signs of him. Feeling befogged and intimidated by the thought of getting caught by him, I swallowed a lump of saliva before making each small step around the living room. Where on earth could he go?

I spotted his figure at the balcony once again, my heart skipping a beat. The door wasn't locked or closed, it was left ajar. I stood behind while still hiding frantically. Mustering up all the courage in me, I held onto the door handle, pulling it open before stepping to the balcony. The cold air from ouside came swooshing to my body, causing a slight shiver. Sehun snapped his head to my direction upon hearing the sounds. He seemed petrified for a second before his expression changed after realizing it was me.

My eyes were just fixed on him as I was beyond tongue-tied at what to say. he was staring at me as well, not even saying a word. His expression was a new one which I had never seen before. Even though I had known him for years, I couldn't exactly pinpoint when I saw him like that before. His eyes were soulless and it portrayed such culpability and desolation that it caught my tongue. I almost caught his lips quivering.

"A-Are you alright?" I whispered out, finding just these three words to say.

Right after the three words lelft my mouth, I was gobsmacked when I patently saw a tear streamed down slowly across his cheek before dropping onto the ground. He was crying.

Oh Sehun was crying.