I left Korea for a lame reason. I am running from someone. No. I am not running from him. I am running out from my own feeling. As the only son of my parents, I should be straight. I shouldn’t fall inlove with the same as I am.

But I couldn’t stop myself. When I met Lee Taemin, my heart starts to feel something inappropriate for him. I was a loner. I don’t have friends aside from Jonghyun who had left for Canada to pursue his career with his long time gay lover; Key. I don’t have friends because most of the people surrounding me tried to cling on me because of my power and my wealth. But Taemin is different. He was the only person who tried to talk to me neglecting my power and wealth. He also had it anyway. And since that first day, we’ve became best of friends. Wherever Lee Taemin is; Choi Minho is there.

When I felt that I was slowly falling for him, I felt disgusted about myself. I often felt the sudden urge to confess to him but whenever I got the chance, I backed off immediately. Coz I know, if my parents will know it, they’ll disown me. Before I graduated high school, I decided to take my college degree in Australia far away from Taemin to forget that silly love-love thing.

My mother and my cute and loveable little sister Jinri whom I fondly called Sulli directly opposed my decision. Yes, I also don’t want to leave them but I badly needed it. Coz I badly needed to forget my damn feeling for Taemin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Taemin-ah”

I called Taemin who is busy reading a Harry Potter book again. It was just a week before we graduate. Yes, though he is two years younger that I am, we are still batch mates. He was accelerated. He closed the book after putting a bookmark on it; looked at me and flashed his cute and addicting smile. I felt my blood suddenly rushed. I shook my head and sat beside him as he asked;

“What is it hyung?”

“You’re calling me hyung again!”

I smugly told him. He suddenly chuckled and just smiled. Silence (like the usual) summoned us.

“I am leaving for Australia.”

I then broke the silence. He looked at me; frowned and asked;

“You’re what?”

“I am leaving for Australia.”

“Funny…”

He said. I sighed and held his hands while telling him;

“Right after our graduation, I will be flying to Australia. I will take my degree course there.”

“You’ll leave me? I thought we will be pursuing our dreams together?”

“You know, I needed it. Besides, you can always call and text me. You can always chat with me through Skype. Nothing will change, Taemin.”

He twitched his lips then told me while standing up;

“Everything might change, Minho-hyung. Everything…..”

Just barely three days after graduating, I flew to Australia leaving Sulli crying hard. Beside her was Taemin who is trying his best to hold back his tears. Behind them was my mother who is silently crying and my dad who is standing very proud of me. If he only knows my reason...

The first few days of my stay in Australia is kinda hard. I had my culture shock, severe jetlags and a lot of whatnots.

When the classes finally started, my life became so wonderful. I met knew people. I start to mingle with them because they didn’t know my status back in Korea. I forget the feelings I had for Taemin sometimes. But I often feel the emptiness. Every night, I got the chance to chat and talk to my family and Taemin. I was happy coz Taemin often chats with me through Skype until midnight.

But one night, during y winter break, Taemin’s sudden squeals of happiness made me sad.

“Hyung!!!! I think I’m inlove!”

He happily declared. I half-heartedly smiled as he starts to happily narrate about the girl he was falling for.

“She was the best girl I’ve met, hyung. She’s beautiful, talented and she came from a very good family! I’m sure you’ll like her.”

“Did you already confess to her?”

I asked him. He happily shook his head and told me;

“I’m planning to do it, hyung. Not by this month though. I’m still collecting some courage. But I won’t let this year past without confessing to her…”

Then that was the last time I’ve chatted with Taemin. Throughout the last two years of my stay in Australia, I haven’t had news, text calls or even mails coming from him. I got disappointed and irritated. Everytime mom or dad tried to pro long our Skype conversations; I started to make an excuse to cut it short. Even my favorite dongsaeng; Sulli starts to call me just every once in a while. Mostly just to greet me in special occasion.

And when I finally graduated college with flying colors, I decided to go back to Korea and admit to my parents that I am gay. But when I was about to go out of the departure area, my eyes starts to wander as I caught the same man I loved holding my sisters hands? WTF!!! That made my heart fall into tiny little pieces. My wide smile slowly vanished away as I approach them.

I tightly hugged my father who told me;

“I’m happy to see you again, son.”

“I missed all of you.”

I just stated. Sulli ran towards me dragging Taemin behind her. She dropped her shinny bag and hugged me while telling me happily;

“Oh! Oppa! I missed you so damn much!”

I hugged her tight patted her back as I looked at Taemin who is just smiling at me as I was telling Sulli;

“You grew up a lot, Sulli!”

I felt her sudden squeezed on my back as Taemin simply told me;

“It’s been a while hyung.”

I just nodded as Sulli loosen the hug we are sharing then excitingly told me;

“Oppa, your best friend and I were now together. We’re dating for almost two years now.”

I smiled while letting heart sank and pulled my luggage as I was saying;

“I’m happy for both of you”

We silently went out of the airport and got in the service car. While my parents went in a different car. Taemin, Sulli and I went in inside the red Ferrari sports car and head our way home. They acted so damn sweet and inlove. Which made my heart break once more.

Then out of the blue, Sulli pulled a cd out of her bag. He seemed to be a beiliber since the cd was Justin Bieber’s. it was a signed cd. I think it was the one she boasted when she chatted with me having her vacation in L.A.

“Ah, Ajusshi, can you play this cd? Track number nine.”

“Oh, sure.”

The driver took the cd out of Sulli’s hands and put it inside the build in player of the said car. I thought I’ll be hearing some upbeat song but to my surprise, the song seemed to speak what I am feeling…

“Everybody's laughing in my mind
Rumors spreading 'bout this other guy
Do you do what you did, what you did with me?
Does he love you the way I can?
Did you forget all the plans that you made with me?
'Cause baby, I didn't
That should be me holding your hand
That should be me making you laugh
That should be me, this is so sad
That should be me, that should be me
That should be me feeling your kiss
That should be me buying you gifts
This is so wrong, I can't go on
'Til you believe that that should be me
That should be me
You said you needed a little time for my mistakes
It's funny how you use that time to have me replaced
Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies?
Whatcha doing to me?
You're taken' him where we used to go
Now if you're trying to break my heart
It's working 'cause you know
That, that should be me holding your hand
That should be me making you laugh
That should be me, this is so sad
That should be me, that should be me
That should be me feeling your kiss
That should be me buying you gifts
This is so wrong, I can't go on
'Til you believe that should be me
I need to know should I fight for our love or disown?
It's getting harder to shield this pain in my heart, ooh
That should be me holding your hand
That should be me making you laugh
That should be me, this is so sad
That should be me, that should be me
That should be me feeling your kiss
That should be me buying you gifts
This is so wrong, I can't go on
'Til you believe that that should be me, ooh
Holding your hand, that should be me
The one making you laugh, oh baby
Oh, that should be me, yeah
That should be me, giving you flowers
That should be me, talking for hours
That should be me, that should be me
That should be me
Never should've let you go
I never should've let you go
That should be me
Never should've let you go
That should be me
Never should've let you go
Never should've let you go
That should be me”

Yes. Yes. And another yes. That really should be me. Sulli should be me. If only I had the courage to tell Taemin my true feelings. I suddenly felt a hot liquid flowing from my eyes while the song coming to an end then Sulli worriedly asked me;

“Oppa, are you okay?”

I hurriedly wiped my tears; looked at her and just nodded. She twitched her lips and told me;

“You don’t look like one. You’re tearing!”

            ‘IT’S BECAUSE YOU STOLE THE ONE I LOVE!’ I wanted to tell her out loud but I stopped myself. Then just lied;

“It’s just my contacts. Don’t mind me.”

 Then they continued to cuddle beside me. Making me wanted to cry loud. I just shifted my body looking outside the window mentally telling Taemin wishing he’d hear me;

“That should be me, Taemin!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I took over my father’s position in our company, and Sulli just graduated college, Taemin proposed to her. Which made me broken again and again. I haven’t had the chance to talk to Taemin since I don’t want to. Why would I? If I did that I will surely break my own heart.

Two weeks before the said marriage, I tried to stop it from happening by talking and confessing to Taemin inside my car;

“Why call me all of a sudden hyung? You know I’m kinda busy for the upcoming wedding…”

“I wanted to tell you something.”

He looked at me as I start to whisper what I am saying;

“I went to Australia because of you…”

“ME?”

He innocently asked me. I nodded and continued.

“I felt ashamed falling inlove with you all throughout. I tried to forget you by flying inAustralia but to my dismay; I just kept on falling further for you. I love you, Taemin….”

I felt that he suddenly took my hands and told me;

“You should’ve told me earlier hyung….”

“I don’t have the courage, Taem. Besides, I don’t know if you’ll accept me.”

He shook his head and told me sadly;

“No, hyung. If you told me earlier I shouldn’t force myself to love Sulli. Coz I loved you too.”

I looked at him as he said;

“When I told you everything might change hyung, I know it will. Coz missing you can lead to forgetting you. Sorry hyung but I love Sulli more.”

I bit my lips and start to cry when he get rid of the seatbelt and gripped the lock of the cars door telling me;

“I couldn’t break Sulli’s heart just because you just confessed your love for me now. Sulli helped me forget you and I want to love her more than she does. I’m sorry hyung… I just couldn’t love you now.”

“The one who should love you is me, Taemin. That should be me.”

“But sadly, your fears stopped you. You came a little too late…”

Then he left me alone inside my car crying.

I should’ve told him. I should.

Oh yes, regrets came after you lost it all………………..