Five years. Wow. I can hardly believe it.

I mean... wait, that sounded wrong. I don't mean it felt endless or anything. I just mean, I still can't believe she said yes when I asked her to be my girl.

I still can't even believe I got up the nerve to ask, honestly.

We've been friends for like forever. Well, okay, not forever. Not exactly. We've been dating for five years as an official couple, and before that we had spent years and years and years being friends. It started with our first date to the spring formal, and then all those nights we spent together watching movies or singing stupid songs  or taking dumb pictures...

To be honest, we were dating from the time we were fifteen. We just didn't call it that.

Anyway, the point is, once we finally started dating, I knew Naeun was the one. Hell, I knew she was the one a long time even before our official first date.

Even so, I couldn't quite bring myself to ask her to marry me.

To be honest, I worried and stressed about it endlessly. But despite all my concerns, I planned my proposal over and over again. I thought about taking her to the best restaurant in Gangnam and dropping a ring into her glass of champagne or taking her to Everland, and having "Will you marry me, Naeun?" flash up on the sky or taking her up in a hot air balloon and... well, in my head I tried out every cliche of a surprise I could think of.

But none of them were right. Because Naeun is not a cliche kind of girl. She has always been an original. One of a kind.

And so I couldn't seem have the nerve to ask. I wasn't even sure if I should.

I happened to glance over at Naeun at my side. It was dark, but her brunnette hair was lit by moonlight like a halo. I could barely make out her features, but glanced back and shot a smile at me, and I saw all over again how beautiful she was.

I stared at her lovely face for a while. "I love you."

"I missed that..."

"Why? You always hear that from me everytime we call."

"It sounds different when you say it personally..." She mumbled.

"Of course."

"I love you too, oppa... and I missed you. So much."

I look at her, my eyes getting teary with the emotion, and I whisper back. "I'm not leaving again."

She went closer to me and drew circles on my palm, making my skin erupt in goosebumps. "Is that a promise?"

"Promise."

With her white slender fingers, Naeun took of a small red letter from her pocket and handed it to me.

"Oh, what's this?" I asked.

"It's money." Naeun told me in a teasing way before laughing . "Read it. Palli!"

Taemin oppa,

I just wanted to tell you that I love you very much! I could list a million reasons why I love you!

But for now... I'm gonna give you one for every month we have been together.

Happy fifth anniversary!

1. I love all the ways you make me smile.

2. I love it when you sing to me.

3. I love your silly ideas.

4. No one else can make acting like a dork seem so cool!

5. Your smile! The one thing that just completely melts me every time.

6. I love how we have our couple things! Phone case, shirt, bracelet, everything!

7. You call me beautiful.

8. You're my sunflower. :-)

9. Even when I’m cranky you still love me.

10.  I love the way you hold my hand when we're walking.

11. The way you tickle me with your toes. :-)

12. I love it when you whisper you love me. 

13. I love how you play with my hair.

14. You offer me your shoes because I get blisters on mine. 

5. I love it when you warm my hands when they're cold.

16. I love how you have tons of pictures of me in your wallet.

17. I love talking about that one time… we went to Wolmido with Key oppa and Eunji unnie!

18. I love hearing a song on the radio, and all I think about is you.

19. I love it when you call me just to tell me that you love me.

20. The way you do aegyo when you know I’m mad. 

21. I love that you do all the dishes even though Minho oppa told me you don't like it.

22. I love that you program my coffee order into your phone so you don’t forget.

23. I love you. (Does this even count?)

24. I love the fact that you want to be with me and only me.

25. I love that you will ask me about my day… every single day.

26. When I get  text messages from you, it makes my insides all warm and fuzzy.

27. I love it when you plan our future together... especially that time when you mentioned about adopting. 

28. I love you because my hands fits just right in yours. :')

29. I love you because you give the best hugs, but only to me.

30. I love it when you stick out your tongue when you’re concentrating.

31. I love how you love winter as much as I do.

32. I love you because our quick Skype calls every night are always the biggest highlight of my day.

They temporarily make the distance seem much shorter,

even if I know as soon as we hang up I’ll miss you even more.

33. I love the way we glance at each other across the room and know what each other is thinking.

34. I love the way your voice sounds over the phone... 

35.  I love how our relationship feels like the perfect romance movie. :-)

36. I love how my heart skips a beat whenever I see you.

37.  I love your sense of humor, my TAE-NEUNIM.

38. I love it when our friends are jealous of us.

39. I love it when you smile only at me.

40. When you shouted 'I'll protect you!' when we bungee jumped.

41. I just love you! <3

42. I love how you don't mind watching chick flicks with me.

43. I love your hands, they are so cute and petite.

44. I love the way you dance. Your random dances too!

45. I love your scent...

46. I love the way how you sneak glances at me while driving.

47. Your cuddles are the best in the world. Jjang!

48.I love it when you're jealous. :-)

49. I love the way we make up after we fight.

50. I love how you think I’m cute even when I haven’t washed my hair in days.

51. I love how you play the piano for me… It's so beautiful! One of the things that won me over.

52. You have the kindest eyes I’ve ever seen...

53. I love that your body is always warm. It's also nice to know you're not a vampire. :-)

54. I love the sound of your laughter.

55. You're perfectly imperfect. 

56. I love the way you act like a bad boy when we all know you're not! :P

57. I love it when you open the door for me and carry my bag.

58. I love how you listen to my nagging. 

59. You compliment meals I put a lot of effort into making, even when they don't turn out so great.

60. I love you because you, and only you will ever only fit with me, and ONLY ME.

You are the most handsome man I know, smartest cookie in the jar, and a great person.

Don't you ever forget it... ever.

I could add more to this list all night long, but you get the idea, right?

Love, Naeun

And in that moment I suddenly realized how  much it would hurt to lose her-- so much that I couldn't even imagine surviving it.

"Naeun-ah..." I said-- very softly. "Will you marry me?"

She glanced back at me as her eyes widened and popped open audibly. I thought she might be annoyed, because God knew it wasn't the most romantic setting for a proposal in the world, but Naeun just smiled, a gentle and honest one.

"Mmmm.... I kind of thought we were already married?" She answered back.

I grinned, she had a point. "I'd like to make it official... with a ring, ceremony and everything. Would you... be okay with that?"

Tears began to well up in her eyes as she instinctively nodded. "Yes. I'd be very very very okay with that."

I see her face being lit by the vague moon light and I see the most beautiful woman I've ever known.

Five years. We've been dating for five years. Wow. I can hardly believe it.

Like what she said, in a way, it feels like we've been married forever. But we have decades more to share together. Decades more to look forward to.

And that thought makes me very, very happy.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Despite the unfortunate event in South Korea right now, I would still like to wish our couple a happy anniversary! It has been a year but I still feel butterflies everytime I rewatch their episodes. Being a part of this ship isn't easy but I want to thank all the Taeunians out there for always supporting our couple from the start till now! I believe that fate will bring them back together someday.  

Guys let's continue to pray for South Korea! It's really a sad news. I hope and pray for the best of those families who have been affected by the accident. Let's pray for the search and rescue go well and may the survivors pull through.