Ae Ri slowly lowered herself onto her bed as she recalled the previous hours before. Her fists immediately clench the soft fabric tightly. She watched her feet as they dangled lifeless off the edge, trying to somehow distract her from the tears that threaten to overflow and drown her whole being. She knew if she started, there would be no stop to the endless tears.

'I'm sorry, this just won't work out.'

She recalled the words he spoke as he turned his back on her. It was so impersonal, so cold. His tone held no fluctuation, no waver, and no life. The break up was one for if they had been dating a mere month or so.

A loud crash could be heard from the other side of her room. A broken frame and glass lay below the now dent on her otherwise unscathed wall. Her luggage was already packed for college. A college she was supposed to go together with him.

"You idiot!" she screamed to no one in particular. The house was empty after all. Her parents left right after graduation to leave for their vacation time they rarely manage to get with their busy schedule. Countless apologies were spoken, innumerable "it's fine" on her part. She wasn't angry with her parents for leaving, she was angry because they didn't notice. They left not knowing just how broken she really was, just how much she needed to not be alone. They didn't know that the boy they knew to be their daughter’s boyfriend of four years just broke all ties and disappeared. They had been so busy, that they soon forgot how to read their own child.

Because it wasn't fine, she was not fine.

And soon she couldn't stop the ugly sob from leaving her lips. Her hands worked fast in covering her eyes to hide the gushing tears while her body curled up into a pathetic lump on her bed.

Once the wall was broken all the thoughts she tried to keep out came flooding in.

"We need to stop here."

"We don't fit together."

 

 

She went running up to Luhan as soon as the ceremony had finished. "Luhan, we did it! We graduated!" She chirped merrily to the tall boy. He looked down to her, his face devoid of any emotion.

"Oh come on, cheer up!" She encouraged. "I know it's hard leaving all the memories here, but better ones will encounter us in the future." Her eyes gazed lovingly at him, but despite all this his lips failed to form the smile she came to know and love more than anything.

She reached out to fix a stray of his hair, but her wrist was quickly grasped by his large hand. Shocked, her face contorted into a pout. "What's wrong Lu?" she asked warily.

She rarely saw him like this. In fact the last time he was like this was when his mother told him to give up his dreams of being in the music business and to 'get a grip' because 'the real world only has time for doctors and lawyers.' Ae Ri tried desperately at that time to get him to not listen to her. He was a fantastic vocalist and an even more fabulous dancer. She knew he would make it big. But the thoughts his mother said to him drowned him completely for a full two months. He constantly reconsidered his college choice which was the biggest performing arts school in the country, also the one you were going to. In the end he decided against it thankfully.

But that was all over with... wasn't it?

"Lu-"

"Let's stop."

"What?" She questioned. She looked into his eyes for an answer, but all she saw was an endless pit of black staring back at her. He looked soulless.

"I'm leaving for China tomorrow. I've been thinking a lot and we're really nothing alike. I only thought to go to EVO University because you were going." Ae Ri couldn't catch up. This wasn't right at all. These weren't the dreams he was spouting to her over the past four years.

"Luhan, you used to be so excited. What happened?"

"I was just a kid, I didn't know anything. I didn't know what love was either." Ae Ri could hear her heart thundering in her chest. "Thank you for everything, but we should stop here. We don't fit together. Don't you think the relationship was a little forced too?"

"Forced?" She squeaked out. "Never was there a time that I was forced. Who forces anything for four years Luhan?" She could hear her voice rising, but couldn't bring herself to stop it.

"Apparently me Ae Ri." Her name, it didn't sound the same. It didn't sound like all the times before when her stomach got butterflies just by him speaking her name. "You were so appealing, so bright, and so enthusiastic. I wanted that." He admitted. "I wanted you to change me." He continues, but you don't want to hear more. "Or at least show me the perspective of the world from your point of view." She couldn't hear her heart beat anymore, she couldn't hear the crowded room either, and her full focus was on her now ex boyfriend. His last words, she already had an idea. "And you did. But it wasn't me Ae Ri. The person you knew for the past four years wasn't me. I was living blinded by happiness, by foolishness, but I have to wake up now Ae Ri and this has to end." Ae Ri swore the pain had to be worse than being beaten to death and stabbed a thousand times all at once.

"I'm sorry, this just won't work out."

She wanted to chase after him, to yell and scream and hit him repeatedly, but she couldn't move. Her feet were basically shackled to the floor. Her whole life for the past four years just turned his back on her. She didn't know what to do. Where was she to go? Before she could even fully recover, her parents came up to her and as a shell she automatically answered "its fine." to everything they said.

But it wasn't fine. She wasn't fine. And she was absolutely not okay.

 

 

 

Ae Ri felt the covers beneath her worn body being tugged on. Her face was covered in multiple layers of tears, snot and saliva. It was disgusting, but she hadn't thought of any of that when she recalled her break up with Luhan. No one was supposed to be here anyway. She next felt her hands being pulled away from her face and her hair being brushed away from the bodily fluids left on it. Before she could say anything to the intruder she was pushed into a boy’s chest and said boy was her hair. The comfort was too much to bear and she was hit by another wave of tears and sobbing.

When she had finally calmed down somewhat she croaked out the question which continued to repeat itself over and over in her mind. "What are you doing here?"

"I could tell something was wrong the moment you left the ceremony." She felt him rub soothing circles on her back. A soft sigh of relief left her lips from the gesture. "You've never been one to not say goodbye before leaving and you were so excited about the gathering tonight, but didn't even come." She would have smiled at how well he knew her if she weren't already so broken. "Everyone said to let you be, that you were probably having a romantic outing with-" Her breath hitched and he could sense her uneasiness at the name he was about to speak. "Anyway, I knew something was off."

While lost in her thoughts, her best friend had swiftly lifted her up bridal style. "Y-yah! Sehun what are you doing?" She yelled accusingly. She wasn't angry, but emotions really weren't her forte right now.

"You need a bath." He looked at her face with his normal stoic expression. "You look like a disaster." And there was his famous smirk.

"Sehun!" she screeched at him. His face broke out into laughter and Ae Ri managed a very, very, tiny smile of amusement. It was a start, he thought.

He set her down on the toilet as he went to work on finding the perfect temperature for the water. Ae Ri couldn't bring herself to say anything, she really was a disaster. Not only through her looks, but inside as well. It was as if all kinds of natural disasters invited themselves inside her emotions. She was thankful for Sehun, but even that couldn't manage its way to her lips.

When Sehun deemed the temperature perfect he patted her head and left the bathroom.

With him gone the memory was threatening its way back to her mind and she had to do all in her power to will it away. In the end she lost, but managed to keep her tears silent in respect for Sehun. Once cleaned and dressed she made her way downstairs, following the smell of food. She peered into the kitchen to be welcomed by the sight of Sehun laboring over the stove.

"You can cook?"

Sehun grunted in reply before turning around and giving her a dejected look. Her heart hurt for a moment until he started speaking, "I think I did a pretty miserable job." He answered honestly.

Curious, she walked over to her best friend’s side and looked at his master piece. It looked edible… kind of.

Ae Ri opened a drawer and pulled out some chop sticks before picking up a  piece of blackened potato and stuffing it in . The taste really was one of a kind, that's for certain, but still she continues picking at the skillet until Sehun grabbed her wrist. Thoughts of before when Luhan also grabbed her wrist surfaced, but she pushed them back and faced Sehun. "You don't have to eat it." He stuttered out, clearly embarrassed by his handiwork.

"I know." She watched Sehun's lips tighten. "But I want to. You went through all this trouble for me and it's delicious so shush." She felt his grip loosen and took this chance to pick more of the food into .

As she busied herself with the food she missed Sehun's painful stare and the longing that swarmed his eyes.

 

 

 

As they sat on her couch sharing a blanket and watching nothing but action movies, because romance ones would be too painful, a realization hit Ae Ri.

"Your girlfriend!" she gasped and stared at Sehun.

He gave her a confused glance before realizing exactly where she was going with this.

"She's probably really upset you didn't spend this day with her!" Ae Ri continued, oblivious to Sehun's sigh.

"Nah." he answered nonchalantly. When he noticed Ae Ri still looking expectantly at him he continued, "I spent the whole day with her until I came to your place at nine."

Ae Ri bit her lip in thought, arguing with herself if should let him leave or continue to keep her company. She knew she shouldn't keep him here, but she was scared that once he left she would break down again.

"You should go." She finally decided.

"Ae Ri," he tried to protest.

"No Sehun, I know you want to be with her and I'm sure it's uncomfortable for her knowing that you’re in another girl's house at this time of night."

Sehun groaned and rested his face in his palms. "Ae Ri, it's twelve at night, she's probably asleep."

"Please, it's graduation night. Nobody sleeps by midnight." Sehun thinned his lips knowing he probably wasn't going to win this. "And I know, with our friends, that the gathering at Jongin’s place is still going strong."

"Then come with me." Sehun demanded.

A little shocked with his tone, Ae Ri went quiet. But before Sehun could mutter an apology she had already recovered. "No, I'm not really in the mood for partying. I'll just go sleep."

"Ae-"

Again she cut him off. "I can't sleep if your here."

Hurt flashed across Sehun's face, but left as quickly as it had come. "Alright." he muttered and stood up from the couch.

Ae Ri followed him to the door and got his jacket for him. They said their goodbyes before Sehun walked through the door of her house. She watched as he followed the sidewalk, not even sparing another glance in her direction. Once he was out of sight she finally allowed the door to close. Her house was quiet aside from the mummer of the T.V. in the other room. Then the feelings hit her all at once and she was once again curled up in a ball, trying to find any piece of her life to grasp onto.