Dear diary,
This is my first time writing in you. On the first day, on the first row and on the left side of the paper with a too fancy ink pen. I don’t like this pen at all. Why am I writing with it? Nonetheless, I’m already getting off topic. My mental coach, or whatever he’s supposed to be— told me these kinds of things are good for people like me. And with people like me, he means those who are not allowed to express themselves. Yeah yeah, you get the deal.

If I’m supposed to treat you as a person, I guess I should tell you who I am.

My name is Do Kyungsoo. I’m currently nineteen years old, but sometimes I feel like a grandpa and sometimes like a toddler. It depends on what my mom decides me to do. Some days I have freedom, some days I don’t. You see, I’m the son of a North Korean corporal. How did I end up in this country, on the sunnier border? Excellent question; even though I’m the one talking to myself…

This is absurd, I don’t want to do this anymore.

Anyways, no matter how ridiculous, maybe I’ll gain something out of writing in you. Ink blots and messy hand writing, since it don’t have to exceed some kind of presentation like I have whenever mother’s around. I’ll tell you about the north another day.

Something that is far more interesting, is the day I got punched in the face for the first time. That was last week. His name is apparently Kai, and apparently I was in his way, though I doubt it, since he was drunk. Absurd, indeed. Nonetheless he learned his lesson when my guards wrestled him down.

I actually kind of like the bruise. It’s pretty. But don’t tell anyone that, your only duty is to keep secrets. Kai on the other hand can't do anything right. My mother had this idea of making him a maid just for the fun of the humiliation, but for now, I'll just let him be the boy who carries my bags, books and whatever else I feel like throwing into his arms whenever I'm at school. Awfully convenient, I must say, though mother isn't too fond of his sloppy clothing or tattoos, so he's wearing proper clothes that cover his arms until he doesn't have to be my lobby boy anymore.