Wow.

What the hell am I doing? All those other people who told me that actually going to the auditions was just plain stupid in the idea itself, and I didn't agree in the slightest. At least, I didn't until now. I was one person away from the front of the line to get my number and the fear was finally setting in. I didn't even do well with having confidence on stage! How was I supposed to pull this off without looking stupid? Minkyung, you've really outdone yourself in the stupidity category.

"Next." I gulped a breath of air down and stepped up, hand hesitant as it handed over my filled out form. I was dressed in my favorite pair of sweatpants; they were grey with black zipper pockets on the front near my knees and narrowed down near the ankles. I also wore a loose yellow tank top over a form-fitting black cami. My outfit was completed by my oldest but most favorite pair of Nike dunks, a pair of high tops that were black and yellow.

The lady at the table handed me my number sticker, and I thanked her shortly before getting out of line and pulling off the paper on the back of the large sticker. I disposed of it in the nearest trash can before placing the large numbers on my stomach of my tank, and I just went off to sit in the waiting room. The extensive waiting did not help my nerves in the slightest. The room was spacious, but the numerous rows of chairs that filled it made it seem the opposite. Almost all of the chairs were filled too, and that only stressed me more. There were just so many people auditioning today, and who knew just what talent each of these people could be hiding away? How did I stand a chance?

I didn't know how much time had passed before they called my number to go into the auditorium. It even took me a delayed moment to realize that it was my number they were even calling for. Scrambling, I grabbed my bag and started for the doors that I had been staring at for at least the past half hour. Everything seemed as hazy as a dream while my feet just mindlessly made their way to the stage. I didn't even feel conscious as I greeted the judges and they asked me a few simple questions about who I was, like my name, my age, and what I was going to do today. I quickly tried to shake myself out of this mindless state when they gave me the go ahead to start.

Taking a few deep breaths, I collected myself and stood in the center of the stage before waving to the tech support to queue the music. Come on Minkyung, this is what you do. I thought right before I heard the beginning of the song. From there on it became a blur. I was never so glad in my life for the way my body could so easily move with the music.

I didn’t know how much time had even passed in my routine until I finally felt the last beat undulate through my body and I stuck my pose. I was greeted by the smiles on the judge’s faces, and suddenly a wave of relief overtook me. Never was I so glad to see such approval from the people in front of me. They called me down the steps of the stage and up to their table, handing me the papers of information that had the details for the next round of auditions. I still wasn’t positive that I wasn’t dreaming as I walked out of the auditorium with the papers in my hand.

Looking back on it, I honestly can say it didn’t really hit me until right before I fell asleep that night at an ungodly hour as the red numbers on my bedside table told me. I actually took my first steps towards the dream that everyone told me was impossible.

But here I am, just a month and multiple rounds of auditions later, living in Seoul, Korea and about to start the training that would get me to those bright stage lights. At least that’s what I’m banking on.