To: Jung Taekwonnie

                      “Have breakfast with me”

Seungho sent the text, thumbs playing nervously over the screen as he waited for a reply. He had been sending one of these messages to Taekwon once a week, and the younger has been either ignoring them or declining with a simple “no”. Seungho didn’t blame him though, cornering Taekwon backstage during one of their TV appearances and kissing him without permission or the slightest of an explanation was one of Seungho’s rashest, but best decisions. He had been thinking about doing it ever since the younger stood next to him wearing a skirt and looking annoyed but shy on their first meeting.

To: Jung Taekwonnie

             “This is the last time I’m asking you out, I’m not doing it as a Sunbae, but as a Hyung. I will be waiting in the car under your dorm in 15 minutes; if you don’t come down I’ll take it as a final sign and wont contact you again”

Seungho sent another text in case Taekwon was ignoring him. Impatient, he grabbed his car keys and flew down the stairs, ignoring a sweaty Byunghee coming from his morning jog.

“Yah! Did he finally say yes?” Byunghee asked, concerned but also mocking his best friend.

“He’s not much of a talker.” Seungho said, sparing his friend a glare and climbing into his red Audi “But I’m going to get my answer today” he muttered to himself as the car engine started, seatbelt in place.

Nine minutes later Seungho was parked in front of VIXX’s dorm, hands clutching the steering wheel tightly. His eyes kept going from the flashing digits, telling him there was six more minutes of waiting, then glancing back at the door.

Seungho’s throat closed and his teeth gnawed at his bottom lip when the door didn’t open on time, but he knew the younger wasn’t that easy. “Get your together Yang Seungho. It’s not the first time you’re confessing to a crush”. He tried to breathe in and out to calm himself down, but deep down he knew this was something else. He never confessed more than once –mostly because he never got rejected- but everything about the younger took his breath away. From the way he bites back smiles and smirks when he thinks no one is looking or to the way he treats animals and children. Seungho’s favorite thing about Jung Taekwon was either the way he sings or the way he laughs when there’s nothing funny at all.

A click from the passenger door pulled him out of his thoughts. Taekwon pulled on his seatbelt and barely glanced at Seungho “I’m here for food”. Voice soft, arms crossed in front of his chest.

It was all Seungho needed not to give up and build his courage to confess.

 Here they were, sitting at a small table in an unpopular restaurant with food covering the table and Seungho wasn’t shoving food into his mouth for once. He sat back and studied Taekwon’s face as the younger kept eating bite after bite.

Taekwon stopped for a small second, chopsticks still in his mouth and gave Seungho a look that said you’re staring then put his chopsticks down and sat back, arms crossed. “So?” the younger said, inviting the other to talk.

Seungho opened his mouth to talk, but words died on his lips and he looked down to his lap.

Taekwon breathed out and Seungho could’ve sworn he was nervous too. “If you’re not talking then I’m leaving”. He made to stand up but Seungho’s hand grabbed his forearm and sat him back down.

“What?” Taekwon’s voice was louder than usual “Are you going to corner me here too?” unknown emotion filled his voice, face flushed and hands turned into fists on the table.

Seungho frowned “I get under your skin, don’t I?” he asked provokingly and when he saw Taekwon’s eyes narrow just the slightest, he dismissed it and smiled, determined. “Go out with me”

Taekwon frowned.

“Speak to me Taekwonnie” the pet name came out so casually from repeating it to himself over and over again, whether when he’s watching him perform on TV or with a hand shoved down his pants in the middle of the night.

“Tell me why not. And don’t say you’re not gay, because Hakyeon assured me you are” he was sure he got his fellow leader in a lot of trouble by saying that.

Taekwon shook his head slightly and Seungho took it as a no.

“Then tell me what it is. Am I not attractive to you? Do you dislike me? Hate me? Are you afraid of the media?” Seungho pressed on question after question. He reached across the table to grab the other’s hand, still fisted on the table.

Taekwon jerked his hand away, looking down into his lap and hair curtaining over his eyes. But Seungho didn’t fail to see silent tears rolling down his cheeks and his bottom lip quivering.

“Taek..Taekwonnie” Seungho whispered and his heart clenched in pain for making this precious being cry.

Taekwon wiped his eyes and sniffed, looking up at Seungho with glistening red eyes and Seungho hated himself for wanting to see Taekwon like this again. He was fascinating, beautiful and full of emotion that Seungho wanted to learn all about.

“It’s because I can’t control myself when I’m with you” The younger’s voice shook with more unshed tears, he cleared his throat. “It’s unfair for you to invade my heart, mind and emotion like this, who said you’re allowed to make me feel like this” The words were soft but Seungho could feel how intense they are. God he missed Taekwon’s voice so much.

“Make you feel like what?” Seungho asked carefully.

“Make me feel like …..  Like you know me. I can’t control my emotions and I hate it. I laugh too loud, I get more competitive, I cry because ….” He was stammering, speaking without thinking and Seungho could see it all in his eyes, the fear, the anger and something else he couldn’t quite put a hand on.

Taekwon takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for 5 seconds. “That first day we met was an important day to me” Taekwon’s voice was gentle again, like he gathered his thoughts. “I looked up to you before I debuted; you were someone strong, ambitious and caring. You felt so warm; I never let my guard down around someone that fast.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Seungho cut in, searching Taekwon’s eyes. “Why are you pulling your walls back up and rejecting me?”

Taekwon shook his head so fast. “That’s exactly the problem. I will be too vulnerable around you. I am a person of control, a person who’s precise and unaffected by anything, but then you walk into a room or brush against my shoulder backstage and all my defense lines fall” He tried to meet Seungho’s eyes to prove his point then broke away. “I hate that feeling the most”

Seungho could swear that’s the most he’s ever heard Taekwon speak. He heard every word, every fear and a bit of admiration in those words.

He rose from his chair, leaned across the small table - eyes quickly scanning the empty restaurant, being the responsible leader he is- and cupped Taekwon’s cheek “I am going to kiss you now” he whispered against his lips, eyes crossing a little to meet Taekwon’s own and before the other could object, Seungho’s lips were pressed against his. It wasn’t at all like a chaste drama kiss, because Seungho took Taekwon’s bottom lip into his mouth and on it softly. Taekwon was feisty. He bit Seungho’s upper lip and pushed him away, face flushed and hand touching his lips unconsciously.

“Go out with me” Seungho repeated, hand wiping his upper bloody lip but with a smile on his face.

Taekwon opened his mouth and closed it a couple of times then offered Seungho a napkin, the older taking it and wiping his lip with it.

“Do I take silence as a yes or a no?” Seungho asked and there was still silence. “You have my promise to take it slow and give you all the space you need, to protect you from the media and from the world. I am being sincere with my heart and it’s up to you to accept it or break it” Seungho has never gone this far in admitting his emotions, not even to himself, but there was something about Taekwon that made his heart beat faster and it brought out the best in him.

The minutes ticked slowly and Taekwon was still looking at his lap, fingers curled on the edge of the table.

“Okay, I got it” Seungho got up slowly from his chair, putting money on the table and with one last hopeful look to a Taekwon who still wont look up at him, he left.

He walked outside the restaurant with heavy steps and a rejected heart; he sat down in his red Audi, hands gripping the steering wheel and head resting against it for a minute to gather his thoughts and shattered pieces of his heart.

“Hyung!” he heard a call but paid no attention to the source, starting his car and turning the wheels to get out of the parking spot when another “Hyung! Wait!” and a bang on the edge of the car startled him and made him look to the sidewalk.

The door opened and a panting Taekwon jumped in the passenger seat “Yes” was all he had to say, eyes looking at Seungho’s own and holding the gaze for a few seconds.

“Yes what?” Seungho mumbled, confused, startled and then his eyebrows shot up and his grin went from side to side. “Yes you’ll go out with me?”

A simple, shy nod from the younger and he was looking at his lap again, hair curtaining his face.

Seungho unbuckled his seatbelt and very carefully pulled Taekwon to him, hugging him tightly and taking his scent in. “Thank you” he whispered against his neck and felt Taekwon shiver.

“Promise everything will be okay?”

“Promise” Seungho assured “I’ll even kick Hakyeon’s when he’s nagging you”

It made Taekwon laugh and Seungho’s heart fluttered.

He kissed Taekwon’s nose and the other kept a blank face, but Seungho didn’t fail to see how the edges of his mouth curled up just the tiniest bit. He would learn how to read him with time.