Life is hard.                                                                                                                                                                                            

Sometimes, expectations can make you wounded.                                                                                                                  

Whether it's the positive one or the negative one. 

Expectation is just hope.

If you expect too much, you'll end up like a lost dog finding a path to it's owner.

It hurts.. so much.

Living in this cruel world... I hate it.

With no love, no care, i found myself hiding in the darkness.

I tried to step out from the darkness.. but, i can't. I just can't.

No one supports me, No onewith me, No one.. likes me. I'm left behind

My fate is not destined. There's no light in my life. I deserved the darkness.

I stopped finding the light for my life, i gave up. no, it's more like... i was scared.

Scared to face the light, scared to see the world, scared to feel hatred.

Until one day, i discovered my path, my light, my life!

I finally found my special jewel inside me.

I was thankful.. i was so happy that i did it everyday, magic.

I did it everywhere and everytime. It made me really confident of myself.

It's like.. i'm special. 

I didn't hide again. I showed up to the world and cared for myself!

It felt really good, yet dangerous.

Everybody was glaring at me, like they want me to vanish. They did horrible things.

At first i didn't care. I kept my anger inside me. but, day by day..

I... was at my limit. Their eyes.. they were begging me for mercy. Because, 

They were scared of a 4 years old kid who killed an innocent, caring human.

That's my memory.. my childhood memory. Even though it's been 12 years.. I am still terrified to remember it. I also regret for what i did yet i always have a nightmare. Where people run and screams, screaming for help and merciness. Why? Is this really my jewel? just why?! i am so weird.. i am such a coward.. i'm so .  .  .  . Divergent.