Why Can't I Forget You?
Why Can't I Forget You?Dear Mark,
I swear its been a year, a year since you left the face of this Earth. I remember it was on your birthday too, touche don't you think? It seemed as if death was playing with us on that very day, oh how I can't forget you Mark Tuan. The way your red hair would blow in the wind, and how your deep voice would comfort me in my deepest hours. It should have been me, and not you. You should have been given the chance to live life to the fullest, not only to be able to live part of it. It wasn't fair, nor will it ever be.
Jackson still misses you, you know? He might not tell me he does, nor may he show it but I know he still misses you Mark. Infact, everyone still does. How long do you think it'll take Mark, ten, twenty or maybe seventy years until the day I die. Is it selfish of me wanting to die so young? I want to be able to see you again Mark. I can't live with the fact that you, you out of all seven billlion people in the world just had to leave me. You even promised me that you would make it to see your daughter and son be born, you promised me that we would live to old age together yet it never happened. Our future can no longer happen.
Eunji says that it's not healthly for me to be hanging onto you for this long, she says that I should just face life like every normal person and move on. But like I've said before, I can't and nor will I ever let you go.
Your daughter, Sophie Tuan took her first steps as of last night. I had it recorded by Bambam, it surprised me really of how much she truly reminds me of you. She has your bright smile, and your soft eyes. She even has that adorable chuckle too. Well your son on the other hand, Dongjin Tuan is a little more like a mixture of us. He has my wicked grin, while he has that quiet personality of yours. It just wonders me though, what I am suppose to tell the kids when they get older? Do I tell them the truth and explain to them that you died of a sickness, or do I lie to them and tell them that I really never knew you at all?
I just really do wish that you were here Mark, I really do. I hope that wherever you are you are still looking out for the kids and I. You know we could really use a miracle around here, maybe some more rain would be nice? The kids just happen to love dancing in the rain, thanks to Jackson! Mark I love you and I'm still so sorry that you had to go, but I think it's time now for me to start letting go. I won't forget you too much, just enough so that I can't fresh and new. Hmm who knows how long that could take, months, years and maybe even a whole generation? But I'm determined, j-just watch out for me okay?
Love,
Minhee Tuan <3
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