Hyoyeon had hard time parking her car, but she sighed when she finally find a place. So much people were already here. She put her hands around the wheel, maybe she shouldn’t have come… Even if she was invited and that Jessica begged her to come, it was probably a bad idea.

The blonde girl looked around. The people were walking in the big street. They were all so good looking. Hyoyeon looked down at her dress. The pretty red dress that the bride choose for her, was compressing her chest and showing to much of her thighs but made her look so beautiful. Her feet in the high heel already hurt and Hyoyeon sighed she should have come in her casual clothes and sport shoes... She didn’t really wanted to come anyway.

She wanted this wedding to be already done. The next hours would be the longest of her entire life. But she couldn’t say no to her friend. That’s why she was here, hesitating in her car, waiting to get down and follow the other people.

Hyoyeon closed her eyes. This situation was so absurd, and it was to hurtful to see the person she loves marrying someone else.

2 years ago:

Jessica took her hand. « Come on, we need to get closer » She said guiding Hyoyeon between the people. Hyoyeon followed her.

The party was in a big house and the music was very loud. Some teenager were already drunk, other passed away and slept somewhere in the house. 

Hyoyeon looked at this guy. The guy that Jessica spotted two hours ago, before finally deciding to make a move.

He was handsome, tall with black hair falling on his eyebrow. His white teeth formed a nice smile with cute dimples. Hyoyeon frowned when Jessica let go on her hand to get closer to that guy and talk to him.

Hyoyeon looked at her hand. It felt so cold, she felt so empty. She went back to the table where she was before and took an another drink, still focused on Jessica. She drank a little and frowned again when she saw the guy taking Jessica’s hand. They started dancing.

The blonde girl hated watching this, but Jessica’s body seductively moving on the music was hypnotizing. Hyoyeon couldn’t take her eyes off her friend.

« Why did I end up falling for you? » She asked herself finally looking away.

Hyoyeon took a big breath. She looked around and get down the car, closed it and walked behind some old people talking about the wedding. She rolled her eyes. In front of the church, a hundred or so guests were waiting, talking joking and laughing with each others. 

She recognized Jessica’s family and closer to the church their friends were around Jessica. She was wearing a big brown coat, hiding all the top of her dress, and showing only the very bottom of it, her hair were tied in a beautiful long braid with white pears, wrapped around her head. Her make up was light, but it made her eyes looks so big and expressive, and her skin a little more pale. She was more than beautiful. 

Everybody seemed all so happy. Hyoyeon was probably the only person here that didn’t liked this weeding. She shook her head, asking herself if she should left. She swallowed hard. 

She looked at Jessica laughing with her friends, and made her mind, she had nothing to do here. It was too hard to be here. She was about to leave when her eyes meets Jessica’s. She stopped moving, feeling her heart beating harder and faster, making it hard for her to breath.

1 years ago: 

Hyoyeon was laying in her bed, she wasn’t in a good mood, her grades at school weren’t that good, and seeing Jessica falling more and more in love with her boyfriend everyday was killing her.

It wasn’t a time when Jessica didn’t talk about him. And Hyoyeon couldn’t take it anymore… She was exhausted, physically and mentally too.

Someone rang at the door. Hyoyeon rolled her eyes and went to open it. She looked surprise when she saw Jessica entering her flat.

« What are you doing here? » Asked Hyoyeon curious.

Jessica frowned. « Do I need a reason to come and see you? » Asked back Jessica surprise. « Did I woke up? » She asked again putting her shoes off. « You look terrible. » She said trying to make Hyoyeon’s hair look better.

Hyoyeon made a step backward. « What are you doing here? » She asked again.

Jessica sighed. « I just miss you, I wanted to go out somewhere, maybe shopping or a movie. » Explained Jessica. « But I feel like I bother you. » She said frowning.

Hyoyeon heavily sat on the couch. « It’s not that. I’m happy that you’re here, but I’m tired, and not feeling very good. » Explained the blonde girl.

Jessica smiled at her before sitting on the couch too. « Want me to tell you a joke to make you feel better then sing you a song to help you sleep peacefully for a nap? » Asked nicely Jessica taking Hyoyeon’s hands in hers.

Hyoyeon smiled. « Sorry, but your jokes are awful so… no thanks. » She said jokingly.

Jessica made a face. « Really? » She asked and Hyoyeon nodded. « Okay. » she said standing up on the couch. « I bet I can make you laugh in the 10 following seconds. » She said in a challenging tone.

Hyoyeon showed her mischievous smile and looked at Jessica in the eyes. « I bet you won’t. » She said.

Jessica jumped on her and started tickling her friend making her laugh very loud. She smiled, proud to win her bet, but didn’t wanted to stop now, even hearing Hyoyeon begging her to stop.

« You need to be punish for your insolence. » Said Jessica imitating Hyoyeon’s mother tone.

« I told you not to talk like my mom, it scare me! » Shouted Hyoyeon fighting against her friend, and trying to tickle Jessica back.

After some time torturing her friend, Jessica let Hyoyeon breath again. The blonde girl sat and tried to regain her breath. « Don’t think you win anything. I let you win because I was too tired to fight back properly… » Said Hyoyeon smiling.

« Do you want to be punish again? » Asked Jessica coldly.

Hyoyeon shook her head. « No…I think it’s okay. » She quickly said, making Jessica laugh. « Want to watch a movie? » Asked Hyoyeon showing some DVDs to Jessica who nodded, they put a romantic comedy movie.

« Try to sleep a little. » Said Jessica putting her arm around Hyoyeon, making them comfortable. Hyoyeon smiled, Jessica would probably fell asleep way before her…

And Hyoyeon was right. Ten minutes after the beginning of the movie, Jessica was already sleeping against her.

« Why did I end up falling for you? » Asked Hyoyeon to herself, looking at Jessica sleeping, her breathing caressing the blonde’s face.

Jessica let her friends and ran to Hyoyeon, holding the bottom of her dress in her hands to not walk on hit and fell in front of everyone.

« I’m so happy you came. » She whispered hugging Hyoyeon tightly.

For Hyoyeon it was like the world stopped turning. Like they were alone. Like they were back in the old time… She awkwardly hugged her back, feeling her friend’s body against her again was like heaven. 

« I was so afraid you wouldn’t come… » Said Jessica with teary eyes.

Hyoyeon missed Jessica warm the second she let her go. Their friends came around, smiling at them.

« I’m really glad you come after all. » Said Jessica really happy to see her friend.

Hyoyeon swallowed hard, and tried to hide her sadness, hardly holding her tears. « I wouldn’t miss my best friend’s wedding. » She articulated with difficulty.

Jessica’s soon-to-be husband called everyone, telling them to entering the church. Jessica excused herself and went with her family, Hyoyeon looked down and followed her friends into the church.

6 months ago:

 Jessica was at Hyoyeon’s place. They were talking. Jessica seemed bothered by something. Hyoyeon felt it when she called before coming.

« Will you finally tell me what’s bothering you? » Asked Hyoyeon worried.

Jessica played with her fingers. « It’s about … » Said Jessica not looking at her shocked friend. Hyoyeon didn’t said anything. « You know he asked me to marry him… » Said Jessica waiting for Hyoyeon to nod.

Hyoyeon swallowed hard. Hearing Jessica talking about this wedding broke her hart every time, but she worked hard to not let her sadness out, and just nodded at her friend waiting for her to continue, but Jessica stayed silent. Hyoyeon sighed. « What the matter between and your wedding? » Asked Hyoyeon irritated.

Jessica looked up. « When I told you he hurt me the first time I did it, you reassured me, telling me it was okay, that the first time always hurt but then once we did it, it didn’t hurt but make us feel very good… » Said Jessica waiting again for her friend to nod.

Hyoyeon remembered this talk, he was very hard for her to know that Jessica was sleeping with her boyfriend and gave herself to him so quickly…

Jessica continued. « The thing is that since that day, I never felt good while we’re doing it… » Hyoyeon frowned. « It don’t hurt. » Said quickly Jessica. « But it don’t feel good either… » She explained.

« So? » Asked Hyoyeon a little irritated. « Why are you telling me this? »

Jessica sighed. « I will  be marry him, and I want to know if our ual life will always be like this. » She said frustrated by her friend attitude.

« I don’t know. » Said Hyoyeon frowning. « What do you expect me to say? »

« Did it come from me? » Asked Jessica worried. « Because it seems that for him it’s good when we did it. Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m the problem. » Said Jessica almost crying.

Hyoyeon calmed down and put her hand on Jessica’s shoulder. « I’m sorry, but, I don’t think you are the problem, I just think he don’t know how to make you feel good. » Explained Hyoyeon.

« You think? » Asked Jessica confuse.

Hyoyeon nodded and smiled a little. « You are perfect Sica, I’m sure you‘re not the problem. Just talk to him and tell him what you need and what you like… » Said hardly Hyoyeon. It was so hard to tell those words to the girl the loved, but she was her best friend and she needed her so Hyoyeon needed to be a good friend and do everything she could to help Jessica.

« Yeah but what if I don’t know what I like and what I want… » Said Jessica sadly. « I only knew him… and after our wedding he will be the only one until the end… » She explained.

« You know you can divorce right? » Asked Hyoyeon curious.

Jessica rolled her eyes. « Yeah, but it’s not my intention. I love him, but… »

« But the with him is not good. » Cut Hyoyeon.

Jessica nodded. « Sometimes I ask myself how I would react to his if I had before him, with someone else you know? »

Hyoyeon nodded but didn’t answered.

Jessica looked at her. « I know that is not everything in a relationship, but it’s a little important and if I need to abandon my hope to really feel good to be with him then I hope I could feel it at least once before marrying him… » Said Jessica a little ashamed by her confession.

« What are you saying? » Asked Hyoyeon shocked.

« Don‘t be that shocked, I would like to have with someone else before my wedding. Just once, without any feelings, just to feel the pleasure. And then never talk about it… »

Hyoyeon swallowed hard. « You want to cheat on him before the wedding? » She asked confuse.

Jessica looked down again. « I don’t know, I think about it since some times, but I’m afraid, I want it, but I don’t know with who… I need someone I trust, someone I like, someone who would understand my motives, someone who will never tell anybody about it… someone like you… » Said Jessica looking at Hyoyeon with hope.

Hyoyeon looked back at her. Not knowing what to do, what to answer. Wondering if she heard right, if she didn’t imagined it. It was to great to be true. The girl she loved wanted to have with her once, because she trusted her and liked her…

Her brain stopped working. Was Jessica testing her? was everything true…? 

Even if Hyoyeon was dying to make love to Jessica she knew it wasn’t right, not when the girl loved her boyfriend and was about to marry him… not when Hyoyeon had feelings that weren’t the same for Jessica.

« I can’t. » Said Hyoyeon dying inside. « It’s not right, you will marry him, and we’re friends. It’s just- »

« Please. » Begged Jessica kneeling in front of Hyoyeon. « I need you. Do it for me. » She asked almost crying. Hyoyeon was about to cry too. « Please, I lied to your parents when you failed some classes, and I helped you study for your remedial classes. »

Hyoyeon frowned. « It’s not the same… »

Jessica stood up and looked down at Hyoyeon still sitting on her chair. « It was really hard to lie to your mom’s face you know. »

« Sica…Do you know how hard for me it will be? » Asked Hyoyeon tears rolling on her cheeks.

« Think about it as two friends helping each other… » Said Jessica. « I know you may think is weird because we’re two girls and because we’re friends, but it will be only once, and I will never ask you something like that ever. It will be like it never happened. » Explained Jessica. « I just want to feel it. And if really you don’t want to, I will find someone else who will be more than happy to help me. » Said Jessica getting angry and frustrated by the situation, she never would have imagined that one day she would be begging her friend for …

Hyoyeon looked at her and stood up. « So if I say no… you do it with someone else anyway…? » Asked Hyoyeon sadly. Jessica nodded.

« Really? » Asked Hyoyeon shocked. Jessica nodded again and came closer to Hyoyeon.

Hyoyeon hesitated. But Jessica was becoming closer to her and when she felt her breath against her, Hyoyeon knew she couldn’t resist. It was better if Jessica did it with her that with someone else. That was what Hyoyeon keep repeating her when she closed the distance between them and kissed Jessica, taking her to the bedroom.

« Why did I end up falling in love with you? » Wondered Hyoyeon seeing Jessica pleased face when she kissed her again. « It will hurt me to death, but for you I have no choice. » She though pushing Jessica against her bed.

« Can I sit here? » Asked Yuri to Hyoyeon who came back to reality and nodded standing up to let Yuri sat with her and the girls.

They were sitting in the front. On the second row, just behind Jessica’s and her boyfriend’s family.

The music started, and some people took their cameras out. Ready to immortalize this happy moment. The back door opened and Jessica entered with her dad. Everybody turned around and gasped at the beautiful girl. Hyoyeon couldn’t turn around. Seeing Jessica again would break her, and she didn’t want to end up in tears in front of everyone even if some people already started crying from joy.

Everybody was so excited, Hyoyeon could feel all this energy in the church, this positive energy. She looked at him, his eyes smiling at her soon-to-be wife. Happiness all over his face, Hyoyeon wanted to puke.

Why wasn’t this wedding already over? She asked herself. Why did it took so long for Jessica to come here and be done with this wedding?

Hyoyeon finally turned around. Jessica was so beautiful. But Hyoyeon saw that the girl was faking her smile. Hyoyeon knew her like nobody else. And when their eyes meet, Jessica mask almost broke and fell.

2 weeks ago:

Hyoyeon called Jessica and asked her to come see her. Jessica was avoiding her a little and was busy with the wedding preparation, but agree to come hearing how Hyoyeon was insisting.

When she opened the door, Jessica frowned. « Are you okay? » She asked taking of her shoes and following a silent Hyoyeon in the kitchen. « Did you cry? » She asked again seeing her friend’s red eyes but Hyoyeon ignored her. 

« Can you sit here please? » Asked Hyoyeon with a little voice, showing the chair to Jessica who nodded and sat.

« Something’s wrong? » Asked Jessica worried.

Hyoyeon was in front of her. « It’s been weeks now that I’m looking for the good words, but I still don’t know how to tell you this… » Said Hyoyeon taking her head in her hands.

« Listen if it’s about the other time. When we… » Said Jessica not able to voice what they did. « It’s okay, we don’t have to talk, we need to do like it never happened. » She explained.

« But you left all of a sudden and in tears… » Said Hyoyeon. « Did I hurt you? You seemed to feel good then I saw your panicked face and I started worried but you left and we never had a chance to talk about it… » Said Hyoyeon.

« You didn’t hurt me… » Said Jessica. « I was very good… » She added a little more low. 

« Then why did you leave like that? » Asked Hyoyeon.

Jessica looked at her. « You were crying so much and I felt guilty to force you, I though that in fact, you didn‘t really wanted it, but you were making me feel like I never felt before, everything was so messed up in my head, I was scared, I though it was a mistake. I… I panicked. » Explained Jessica. « I’m sorry… I’m avoiding you since months now… » Confessed Jessica. Hyoyeon started crying. « I’m so sorry. » Added Jessica. « I couldn’t face you after this, I really though you wouldn’t talk to me either after I forced you to do this with me… I used you, and I understand that you didn’t wanted it, but I pushed you to do it… »

« I wanted it, I mean not really but… » Said Hyoyeon confuse. « I wanted it… not like that, but I really wanted it. » Finally said Hyoyeon. « I wanted you, I want you. » She confessed. « But not in this situation, not when you don’t feel the same, not when you have a boyfriend… not when you will marry someone that’s not me… » She said looking down.

Jessica opened then closed it, not sure about what to say. « You…? »

Hyoyeon looked at her. « I love you Jessica. You took my heart a long time ago, but I  know I lost you the day you meet him. » She confessed. « If I could I would want to go back in time and ask you out way before you meet that guy, way before you fall in love with him, way before he ask you to marry him… »

« But- »

« I know. » Cut Hyoyeon. « I’m a girl, and you’re a girl. » She said sadly. « And you love him. »

« I’m sorry… » Said Jessica.

Hyoyeon tried to smile at her but she failed, her heart felt like it was bleeding inside. « You don’t have to apologize, you can’t control who you love. » She explained. « But I needed to tell you before you marry him. Because you know I’m always hoping for the best and I was hoping you could maybe love me too, at least a little, at least enough to forget him and choose me… » Said Hyoyeon really hoping she had a chance.

Jessica started crying. « I’m sorry… » Said Jessica again. 

« I though we shared something strong, I saw that you felt something while I was kissing you, touching you… » Said Hyoyeon honestly.

Jessica swallowed hard. «  I told you, it was really good, and I thank you for it, I would at least once in my life felt how good is , but we can’t, it’s too late, even if I know I like you a lot, I will be marrying him soon… » She said sadly.

Hyoyeon looked down and stood up, she was about to leave the kitchen when Jessica caught her arm and hugged her, before kissing her on the lips. « I’m really sorry, I’m sorry that it’s too late… » She confessed. « But even if the timing wasn’t good for us to be lovers, please be my friend. I still want you in my life. » Said Jessica.

Hyoyeon shook her head. « I don’t know, I can’t. »

« Please » Begged Jessica. « Come to the wedding. I don’t want to tell everybody why you’re not here. » She asked. « I know it’s selfish, but I need you that day, and after that I won’t bother, you if you don’t want me in your life it’s you choice, but stay by my side until the wedding… »

Hyoyeon nodded. « Why did I end up falling for you? » She asked Jessica who looked down shaking her head, not knowing the answer.

Jessica looked at her, but she wasn’t the only one. Every eyes were on her, and this was at that moment that Hyoyeon realized she was standing. Jessica had stopped at her level and was looking at her, with sadness and fear. 

Hyoyeon looked back at Jessica. « I’m sorry, it’s too hurtful. » She said before leaving the church. Jessica looked at her and let her dad’s hand go to follow Hyoyeon, not listening to her boyfriend calling her back.

Hyoyeon get in her car, Jessica ran after her and entered the car too.

« What are you doing? » She asked the bride. « Your happy ending is waiting for you in this church. » Said Hyoyeon crying. « Now get out of my car and go marry him. » She added turning the engine on.

Jessica put her hand on Hyoyeon’s one. « I won’t be happy if you’re not happy Hyoyeon. » Said Jessica looking at her in the eyes.

« You don’t have the choice… » Said the blonde girl.

« You’re wrong. » Said Jessica. «  I have the choice, and I choose you, I choose the happy Hyoyeon. » Said Jessica smiling. « I want to bring back this happiness in you. The happiness I destroyed… I miss you so much, I miss your laugh… it’s been months I didn’t see you smile, and it’s all because of me. » Said Jessica wiping Hyoyeon’s tears away.  « Since you confessed to me, I didn’t sleep. I can stop thinking. I’m wondering what I should do. » Hyoyeon looked at her trying to understand what Jessica was saying. « I do love him, but I think I love you more… He’s the perfect guy, he may be the good for me, he’s not the one I want… Because I want you. » Said Jessica kissing Hyoyeon by surprise. Hyoyeon took some time to realize what was happening but finished by kissing Jessica back.

« If you really love me- » Started Jessica.

« I do really love you. » Cut Hyoyeon.

« Take me away. We need to start again. » She said caressing Hyoyeon cheek. « Take me some place just for you and me. » She said kissing her again.

Hyoyeon looked at her. Then looked at the street, people were going out of the church to see where Jessica was, and why she wasn’t coming back. « Are you sure that’s what you want? » Asked Hyoyeon.

Jessica nodded. « All I want is you. » She said as Hyoyeon left the parking and drove away smiling at the girl beside her.

FIN