The quickly passing days blurred into weeks. Soon those weeks blurred together so effortlessly that whole months had passed. And with those passing months, Tao found himself falling into place in the fast-paced life of his best friend. When he’d accepted this job, he never expected it to be such hard work. He’d imagined standing in front of a dressing room for a few hours, then going home.

 

Never had he been so wrong in his life.

 

Traveling from city to city, pushing through crowds of screaming fans, even running Sehun from the car to his small apartment to dodge fanatical teenagers had become part of his daily routine. But he couldn’t say that he regretted any of it. Even if it was hard work, he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed it. He got to go all over the world, meet interesting people, not to mention all the lovely food he got to try. But the best part was that Sehun was right by his side. There were still traces of the mischievous, bratty little boy that he had grown up with, but the young man had definitely matured. He was very serious about his career, and Tao could tell that nothing made him happier than stepping out in front of millions of people and giving his all. It was something that he admired.

 

And admiring was what he had found himself doing right now. They were currently backstage at some place called SBS or something like that (again, he wasn’t good at remembering names), and Sehun was getting ready. Two girls with make-up palettes flittered around him like bees to a flower, and a young man was carefully styling his hair into a graceful swoop that covered his forehead but magically stayed out of his eyes. Tao watched carefully. It still amazed him how much of a process it was to prepare for performances. There was so much costume designing and make-up and hair styling. Not that Tao thought that Sehun needed any of that. When he snuck glances at his best friend, and his dark eyes traveled over the flawless skin and seemingly perfect facial features that could only belong to Sehun, he was sure that all of the preparation was unnecessary.

 

Biting his lip slightly, Tao frowned and turned away as he realized where his thoughts were migrating. He really needed to get a hold of himself. Lately, he couldn’t even have a normal conversation with his best friend without his eyes drifting down to glance at the lovely curve of his lips that arched up when he grinned. Even worse was when Sehun had to change quickly in between performances, and he would catch himself glancing at his bare chest and toned body. Tao tried to clear his mind of such thoughts, but it was excruciating when Sehun was right next to him. Laughing with him, sharing meals, traveling together. Being just an arm’s length away, but being basically unattainable. Tao didn’t even delude himself into thinking there was any chance of his desires becoming a reality. He felt like an idiot for falling in love with his best  friend. And just his luck that his best friend would grow up to be one of the most sought-after young men in the country. Almost every teenage girl in Seoul knew who he was.

 

Tao sighed lightly, and he couldn’t help glancing back over at Sehun. There were many times when he just wanted to pull the younger male into his arms and hold him tightly. To cuddle up under the same blanket and talk about whatever pointless things that came to mind. To simply be with him, to be his one and only. But he had already resigned that such things were impossible.

 

“Alright, I’m ready. How do I look?” Sehun asked, getting up out of the chair he had been trapped in for thirty minutes.

 

His eyes sweeping over the young man, Tao was tempted to say the same thing he always thought when he looked at Sehun. ‘You look absolutely stunning.’  But instead he settled for, “You were sitting there for that long and that’s what you look like? What a shame.”

 

Sehun grinned at the teasing and yanked on the other’s sleeve. “Yah, don’t hate because I’m beautiful.” he retorted, dusting off his shoulders pointedly.

 

Making a face, Tao nudged his friend and led him to the stage entrance. “Sehun is ready at Entrance One, just give the cue.” he muttered into the headset secured neatly over his dark hair. He looked back over at him and noticed a familiar expression on his face. He had seen that expression before. It was the one Sehun gave right before he tried to do something he knew would be difficult, like a test or dangerous stunt. It was a look of nervousness.

 

“How do I look, Tao?” Sehun asked again, his head snapping over to his bodyguard with eyes that were searching for something. Searching for certainty and reassurance.

 

“You already asked me that, Sehun. Are you okay?” Tao inquired warily. What was wrong with him? He didn’t usually get so uneasy before a show.

 

“I’m fine….just a bit nervous, I guess. This is a pretty big showcase. If I do well, it would be great...but if I mess up….” he trailed off.

 

Tao shook his head and took a step toward him. “Don’t worry about things like that. You’ve got this performance down. I know you’ve been practicing like crazy. Just go out there and give him the best show they’ve ever seen.” he muttered gently. He wanted nothing more than to take the blonde’s hand into his own and pull him in, holding him close until every drop of uncertainty trickled away. But he knew better.

 

Hesitating slightly, Sehun paused before a smile broke out on his poised face. “I guess you’re right. Thanks, Tao.”

 

The dark-eyed young man was about to say more, but he heard the familiar chord of Sehun’s hit single start to play, followed by the cheering of a huge room full of fans. “Show time.” he gestured to the entrance to the stage, giving a reassuring smile. “I’ll be right here when you finish.”

 

Sehun nodded at the promise and exhaled in preparation before stepping out onto the stage. The cheering seemed to erupt even louder if possible, and his voice broke out over the crowd as he began his first song. Tao relaxed as he listened to the show continue without a hitch. He could practically hear the happiness leaking into his best friend’s voice. Even if there was a gnawing at the pit of his stomach from something he wanted to hide, he had never felt more proud of Sehun than in that moment.

 

---

 

As performances and fan meetings and comebacks took place around them, Tao expected the two of them to become closer than ever. But with so much going on, he could sense himself drifting farther apart from his best friend. Not to mention the fact that things between them had been rather odd lately. Neither of them had addressed it, but Tao could sense it. Some kind of tense awkwardness that they were tiptoeing around. Had he said something to upset the singer? Was he stressed out over the upcoming show?

 

The more that he thought about it, the more he noticed little signs. Sehun avoiding his gaze, not answering his text messages, putting off spending time with him on their off days, then barely even talking to him on the days when they were working together. It was really bothering him, but Tao just couldn’t figure out what was going on. Fortunately, he would have the opportunity to find out soon. Sehun’s manager had given him a few days off to get ready for an interview he had next week, and they had planned to meet at his apartment and watch a movie together, just like the many sleepovers they’d had when they were younger.

 

That was where Tao was headed now. As he went up the stairs to the apartment not too far from SM, he couldn’t help his thoughts from drifting back to Sehun. Was he angry at him? He knew the younger male could be terrible when it came to holding grudges, and he didn’t look forward to being on the receiving end of one of “Sehun’s Seven Day Silent Treatment Sessions”. The blonde was famous for holding out arguments until he got his way, and the fact that Tao was just as stubborn led to a lot of arguments and disagreements between them. Tao had assumed that he had grown out of that trait, but perhaps he was wrong.

 

Knocking on the door lightly, Tao ran a hand through his short locks and waited, listening as a pair of footsteps shuffled to the door. There was a gap of silence as Sehun checked through the peephole, then the clack of a lock turning before the door opened widely.

 

“Hey, Hun-Hun.”

 

“Hey, Taozi. Come on in, I just finished making the popcorn.” Sehun smiled, his eyes following Tao as he entered the apartment and took his usual spot on the expensive leather couch. “You can pick what movie we watch, just as long as it isn’t one of those stupid American shows you like watching all of the time.” he added.

 

“Hey! Those are good shows! Even if I barely understand what’s going on….” Tao protested, making a face at his best friend and snatching up the remote. His friend sat down next to him a few seconds later, all the way on the other end of the couch. The dark eyed young man held back a look of confusion. Sehun wasn’t usually all over him, but he also didn’t sit so far away, as if they were strangers. Tao tried to casually scoot closer, but Sehun quickly jumped up.

 

“Oh! I forgot to bring in the popcorn.” he said quickly, a nervous smile on his lips as he went off into the kitchen.

 

Tao sighed and laid back on the couch. What was his problem? Sehun had passed acting odd, now he was just being plain weird. The older male couldn’t take it anymore, he had to find out what was going on. His leg bounced impatiently as he waited for Sehun to return from the kitchen. When he appeared with the popcorn, he took it from him and set it down on the glass coffee table. “Alright, I’m done with this. What’s wrong with you, Sehun? You’ve been acting strange for the past few weeks, and now you’re acting like you’re scared to touch me. What’s going on?” he demanded.

 

The singer’s face contorted in confusion as he looked at him. “What are you talking about?”

 

Tao rolled his eyes and looked at him plainly. “Don’t play that with me. It didn’t work when we were kids and it won’t work now.”

 

Sehun frowned, a groan parting his lips as he sat down on the couch heavily. “Alright alright. I don’t know how to say this but….I think you should work for someone else. A different SM artist. There are plenty of other singers for this label that would love to have you on their security team!”

 

Silence enveloped them as Tao simply stared at him, trying to process what he had just said. Perhaps his ears were deceiving him, or the other had misspoke.

 

Sehun wanted him to work for someone else?

 

Had he not been doing a good job? Had a made a mistake? The color drained out of his face as he had a startling thought. Had Sehun found out about that he had fallen in love with him? A pound of bricks dropped into his stomach, and Tao tried to swallow, but his mouth had gone dry. This couldn’t be happening, he refused to believe it.

 

“S-Sehun, what are you talking about? Why would I want to work for anyone but you?” he said weakly, forcing out a hollow laugh.

 

The younger male avoided his best friend’s gaze as he stood up from the couch. “I just think that you would be better off with someone else. It’s not something that you did wrong, I just…” he trailed off as Tao stood quickly, wrapping his hands around his wrists.

 

Tao panicked. He could feel the other slipping away from him, which was the last thing he wanted. He had been content to silently stay by Sehun’s side, being only a friend. But now it seemed as if the other had learned of his true feelings and was pushing him away. He couldn’t bear it. To finally be reunited with his best friend and the only person he had ever loved, then pushed away, he couldn’t handle it. He looked into the other’s eyes, and he could see the pain that was there. Why was he doing this?

 

Sehun tried to pull himself out of the other’s grip, but he was too strong. “Listen, Tao….I just can’t do this anymore….”

 

“Do what? What are you talking about?”

 

“I can’t do this stupid thing where I ing pretend that I’m not in love with you.”