Every day I would wake up having this dizziness on my head, the feeling of being shattered into pieces and the emptiness inside my heart.

I wonder what he’s doing right now,

 I wonder if his smile’s still the same,

I wonder if he misses me,

I wonder if he regretted that day

It’s been one year and forty-seven days to be exact and I’m still living on my past. I just can’t seem to move-on, maybe that’s really the perks when you let go of the person you love the most.

I always tell my friends that I found the one whenever we brag about our boyfriends, that he’s the best boyfriend ever. I would tell them that I would exchange everything just for him because he’s all I need. And he always tell me that Break-up will never be in our vocabulary, that we can overcome all the throes that would come our way as long as we’re holding each other’s hands.

But I guessed the fate had tested our love too much that I needed to give-up on him, on us. Half of me just wanted to supress all the hurts I felt and hug him and tell him that “It’s okay, I forgive you and I still love you”.  But the other half of me just can’t let that happen, he had hurt me so much, I tried my best to just hold on to our relationship but whenever I look into his eyes all I can see is my reflection shouting for sovereignty and right then and there I would break down in front of him, asking him why.

I just can’t fathom everything; it was hard to process what had happened. Did I do something wrong? Was I never enough? Was I that boring? I tried to think but it would always end up, him being the one to blame. I wanted this relationship so much to go on. But then again, he left me with no reason, even a tiny bit for the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to take all the blame for me because I love him so much.

But love was never enough.

I lived my life the way it is left, broken. I just learned to accept that pain is now a part of my life. I just think of the bright side, the benefits from breaking up with him.

I gained lots of friends when I entered College; I realized that my life revolved around him that I had a hard time interacting with others. I, somehow, became a social butterfly. Because of my friends I learned to move-on, at some point. I smiled, I laughed that’s what they taught me, but one thing I have a hard time giving, my trust.

I was waiting for our class to start, I came earlier than usual. I placed my face on my right palm and started to play with my pen using my left hand. The bell had rung and I sat up straight, our College Director came inside with our subject professor trailing behind.

“I know that you all know about the annual tradition of the Colleges here in Seoul, right?” The Director asked and we all nod in response. “The School that we have to exchange student with is Yonsei University.” Others squeal while I anticipate the name of the student, hoping that she’s a friend. Half of my high school friends entered that school.

“Mr. Byun, come inside.” The Director ordered. “Introduce yourself.”

“Hi! I’m Byun Baekhyun, I’m a student from Yonsei University taking up the course of Arts major in Music and I’ll be in your class for one month.” He said and bowed. “Please be good to me!”

“Okay, Ms. Na. I’ll be leaving now.” The Director said and we bid our goodbye.

“Mr. Byun, go and sit at the back of Ms. Shin Ju wan. Ms. Shin, Please raise your hand.” Ms. Na ordered and I willingly raised my hand.

I breathed in and smiled slyly as he passed by me. Phew. Why does Baekhyun need to be the exchange student, Good Lord, why? I sighed and tried my best to focus on what Ms. Na’s been lecturing. Count down to one month. 29 days couldn’t be that bad, right?

 “. Chanyeol! He’s the exchange student.” I rant as I ran towards my best friend. After Ms. Na dismissed our class, I frantically ran away from the room, from him.

“ Yah! No Foul words!” He said and slapped my head with the papers he’s holding, I winced in pain. “Sorry.” He said and wrapped me to his arms and caressed my head. “Who’s that your talking about again?” He asked and let go of me.

“Byun Freaking Baekhyun.”

“No foul words!” He reminded.

How can’t I, when I was everything except calm. I sighed. Chanyeol knew everything about us, I didn’t have to elaborate. “I want to go home now, can you take me home?” I asked while pleading.

“You just saw him and you went all sapped?” He said and stands up from the bench he was sitting. “Okay Ju wan, just remembe