He is my boyfriend – the best boyfriend ever.

He’s my first and probably the last.

He’s sweet.

He’s kind.

He’s witty.

His laughs…

His giggles…

His silly jokes…

…everything about him, something I would never forget.

I love him and forever will.

I know wherever he is; he is still the Park Chanyeol that loves me and eternally will.

****

He is on our favorite spot, seating peacefully with ear phones plugged on his ears.

“Yur!” I slid my arms unto him and hugged him tightly from the back.

I felt his chest rumbled in giggle as he tried to lift me up like a kid.

“Yah~”  I swayed my feet as I no longer feel the musty ground from the light rain a while ago.

“Jagiya, you’re so heavy. I thought I’m carrying an elephant already. Ah!” he pretended.

I lightly pulled his hair. It used to be as soft as a baby hair but it wasn’t anymore.

“Aww! Aww!”

“I lose two pounds already and yet you’re telling me that I am gaining weight?”

My teeth are clenched and so as my right fist on his hair.

“You’re light as a paper baby. Aww! s-stop pulling my hair. You’re the iest among the whole female race. I swear!”

Chanyeol plead like a kid – like he always does. This is what he wanted; act normal as if nothing’s wrong. But I will never get used to it.

“Stop it Yur, you’re sounding like Kai already.” Finally, I released his hair and then carefully wrapped my arms around his warm neck.

He giggled again as he continued walking on the musty ground of our school.

Yes, inside our school, I can’t stop this elf-eared boy to do public display of affection. The more you stop him, the more he resists. He’s like a 22 year old boy trapped in a 6 year old boy’s body. He could be so childish and he could also be as mature as he would.

Sometimes, I can’t help myself from asking, how did I fall in love with this guy?

Why on earth a boyish girl like me ended up with a fan boy like him?

Yes, he is a fan boy – of his friend Kai.

He’s unpredictable; he’s like a box full of surprises.

But that’s one of the reasons why I keep on waking up every morning wanting to see him. Everyday seems to be full of thrill even how simple or how horrible a day could be to us. His smile is the best starter of my day. His presence made me feel that I am the most special girl on earth. He has this thing that once you gaze on his smile, you’ll forget everything for a second. I only need one second to savor the moment. Every second matters to me – to him.

Sooner or later, those laughs I love; those smiles that flatter and that voice that tickles – I will no longer hear nor see them.

We have agreed that before the last day came to him, we will love each other as if there’s no tomorrow, as if there’s no end.

“Nijin.”

I looked over his shoulder and answered, ”Yes?”

“You’re bothered again.”

He doesn’t want me to worry about him, he wants me to be happy all the time but, how could I?

I shook away the thought and buried my face on his shoulder.

“Are you planning to carry me till the bus stop?”

“Is that what really bothers you? Tell me or I will tickle your foot.”

One of his hands grabbed my sandal as if he’s ready to remove it anytime.

“Yah! No.”

“Nijin?” he slowly slid off my sandal starting from my heel.

“Chanyeol!” I shook my foot so he would withdrew his hand.

With a soft chuckle he lifted me up to adjust my weight on his back.

“We’re going home and then tomorrow will be another day. Let’s have a date tomorrow then.”

“Huh?”

He always initiates the date. I always agree.

I know that he has something to say but he just held it back because he knew that it could hurt me.

It’s exactly 2 months ago when he found out his cancer and its terminal already. At first, he hesitated to inform me that he is sick. I thought it was one of his silly jokes but it wasn’t.

I saw him cried and that’s the only time I believed that he’s really dying.

He hasn’t cried in front of me. He never did until this day came.

In a flick of a finger, my happiness faded and was blurred with the future without him.

He refused the chemotherapy. You know why?

He’s afraid to get ugly.

When I heard him said that, I wanted to knock his head off.

Even at this moment, the Chanyeol I know did not change.

He accepted the fact that his time has shortened and the probability of having him in front of the altar was down to 5%.

I want to believe that he would get well soon because I don’t want to give up on him. I wanted him to stay but he said, there’s no cure anymore.

He had given up before I push him to hold on.

For the sake of making him happy, I’ll pretend that everything’s fine.

****

Saturday, 9 am, I went to Namsan Tower to meet him there. As always, he’s already there, standing peacefully beside an old tree in the park.

We used to go here often but because of his condition, we only go here once in a week. This is his favorite place because it holds so many memories since we were young until now we’re in College.

Leaves are starting to die, to fall and to leave from their branches. Someday, just like those leaves, he’ll leave me and no matter what we do, he’ll no longer be with me.

I