It was one of these lazy days again.

 

You and Hojoon have met up to hang out together. Just like every time when the both of you found some spare time. He was lying on his bed and you were sitting on the desk chair, throwing little pellets of paper at his head.

 

“You know what?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“I wanna try out baking.”

 

You stopped in your tracks and furled your eyebrows. “Why would you do that?”

 

He shrugged. “Because women like men who can cook. And baking is just so much hotter.”

 

“You’re saying this just because once you’ve almost burned down the whole house when you tried to fry some eggs,” you said. He shrugged again and you laughed lightly, because you knew you were telling the truth. “You’re capable of many things, Hojoon-ah, but baking is not one of them.“ And you were back at aiming for his head.

 

“But I’ll never know, if I don’t tr—yah!”

 

Just as he propped himself up on one elbow to look at you, the pellet hit his forehead.

 

“Yes! Hundred points!” you shouted out in excitement.

 

“Oh, you wanna have a hundred points?”

 

Hojoon reached for the pillow, on which his head had lied moments ago, and threw it towards you. You tried to duck away, but that caused the pillow to hit your side. You only felt how you lost balance and the next thing you knew was you lying on the floor. Everything had happened so fast, that you didn't really realize what was going on until you heard Hojoon's mischievous laughter. You probably should be angry at him or at least snap at him for throwing the pillow that hard, instead you felt embarrassed and all you could do was laughing at your own clumsiness.

 

"Yah, stop laughing and help me up!" you said after a some seconds had passed by, still laughing yourself.

 

He got up, chuckling. "I'd say I'm sorry, but I'd be lying if I did that."

 

You watched him walk over and reach out his hand for you to grab it. You took it, but instead of lifting yourself up, you put a leg right in front of his two ones and pulled at his arm, so he'd trip and land hard on the floor next to you.

 

You might be shorter than him, but you’re not dump and sure as hell you're not weak.

 

You started laughing even harder than before. "I'd say I'm sorry, but I'd be lying if I did that," you repeated his words, barely able to breathe.

 

You noticed that he wasn't as amused as you were. He didn't laugh, but he wasn't grumpy either. He just looked at you and smiled. Something in the pit of your stomach started moving and made your laugh fade out.

 

"Guess we're even with each other now."

 

You nodded.

 

Then you just lied there and looked at each other.

 

His soft voice broke the silence.

 

"So.. are you going to show me how to bake?" he asked without taking his eyes off of you, grinning lightly.

 

You resisted the urge to hit him. "Why would I do that?"

 

He seemed to think about that for a moment. "Because you'd love to help me?"

 

"Naaaahh~~"

 

"Because I'm your best friend and you love me?"

 

"Naaaahh~~"

 

"Because I'll treat you the next time we go out?"

 

You almost wanted to decline again, but after a second you realized it wasn't a bad offer. "That sounds actually not too bad," you finally said.

 

He started beaming at you - damn it, how can he be so cute - and you watched him as he opened his mouth to say something, but held up a hand to stop him. "But we'll do it at your place. I don't want my kitchen to get bur—“

 

“Thank you!”

 

You felt his body pressed against yours before you heard his voice.

 

He hugged you – rather said, lied on top of you – one arm under your lower back, pressing you closer to him.

 

You were so surprised about his sudden reaction, you didn’t even know what to do. You just lied there and felt your heart racing, felt his body warmth. When you breathed in, you could smell his scent – and you almost fainted. It wasn’t the first time he hugged you, it wasn’t the first time the both of you were close, but it was the first time that a hug felt so intimate. You pressed against the floor, his weight on top of you, taking your breath away – at this point you weren’t sure if it was because of his weight or Hojoon himself – your bodies flush against each other, his face in the crook of your neck, breath tickling your skin. Somewhere a little part of you wondered if he could feel your heart beat fast against his chest or if he could hear your rapid breathing right next to his ear.

 

Your friendship – non-friendship – with Hojoon was kind of complicated. And not really complicated at the same time. You weren’t friends, but you weren’t lovers either. The both of you were something in between.

 

Your feelings for each other were quite obvious. To his friends, to your friends, to strangers – to everyone. Even to yourselves! But neither of you dared to take that one step. And so you two lingered in that zone between friendship and relationship, not sure if crossing the line would be the start of a relationship or an end of a friendship.

 

You liked the way it was. Being with him like that was easy, uncomplicated. It was okay if you cuddled when watching a movie together, because you were cold or he was tired, friends are there for each other in times like that. You could flirt with each other and it would be okay, because you knew, you were more than just friends. And if your hands found their way to each other and intertwine while you’re walking down the street, that would be okay, too, because everyone else thought that you two were together anyway.

 

But stupid Hojoon was about to destroy all of that.

 

With his stupid hug and his stupid arms and his stupid body and his stupid scent. With that stupidly handsome look on his face and—those absolutely gorgeous dark eyes, which seemed to see through you and right into your soul. In which you wanted to drown and never—stupid! Stupid, stupid!

 

“You seem to be pretty happy about me helping you.” It should have been a sarcastic comment, but it came out as a faint whisper instead.

 

You expected him to laugh or smile or grin cheekily and give you a teasing reply, but his facial expression stayed serious.

 

Seeing him like that your heart skipped a beat and raced twice as fast as before. And again a little part of you wondered if he could feel it, and how faster your heart could beat before you get a heart attack.

 

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said, voice husky and eyes taking on a yearning look. It made your stomache twist.

 

“What? Baking?” you tried to joke after remembering the reason why he ended up lying on top of you in first place. “ But you haven’t even tried.”

 

“Don’t play stupid. You know what I’m talking about.”

 

You gulped. He was right. You knew what he was talking about. You knew it perfectly. But you didn’t know if it was excitement, that you were starting to feel, or fear.

 

“I’ve thought about it. A lot. And it’s driving me crazy,” he continued. “I can’t be together with you like this. So close and yet so far. To be able to touch you, but nothing more.” He paused, taking a shaky breath. “To be able to be your best friend, but not your boyfriend.”

 

His voice was like silk on your skin. Soft and smooth.

 

Althrough he was speaking quietly, you could understand him perfectly fine. And not just the acoustic aspect, but you could understand his feelings. There had been times when you felt just like him. Where you’d thought you couldn’t go on like this anymore. Where you’d thought you couldn’t bid him goodbye and just close the door after him. Where you’d gone to bed and wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, because you’d think about him. Where you’d not been able to bear the thought not having him beside you, holding you in his arms.

 

“Then stop it,” you said when you’ve found your voice again. He gave you questioning look. “Stop being my best friend,” you explained before pausing and gathering courage for your next words. “Be my boyfriend instead.”

 

You watched as the worrying look on Hojoon’s face turned into a relieved one and a soft smile appeard on his lips.

 

And when he finally leaned in and kissed you softly, it was okay, because you were lovers now.