Hyuk Shin’s note: I know that little rascal is trying to pull off that “cold city guy” image but trust me. He is about as dorky and awkward as he can get. Especially when he was around “her”. Lucky is one of the songs that I’ve composed for that little punk about his first love.

 

      2 weeks. It has been 2 weeks since he flew to Korea all the way from Canada, knowing not a single Korean word other than “Annyeonghaseyo” and knowing nobody from the foreign country. Despite the cold solitude and the unbearable language barrier, he was determined to succeed. He was determined that he will debut.

He took in a deep breath and sighed loudly and audibly as if he’s exhaling all the reoccurring problems he is facing. A teardrop escaped from his eye.

Crying? You’re better than this Yifan. Get a hold of yourself.

 This was not the first time he cried. Though he kept it together because he gave up everything just to get to where he is now. An SM trainee. One of the few non-korean SM trainees that managed to pass the impossible auditions. His parents doubted him and said that he should be thankful for the face that he inherited from them. Many of his friends dismissed his achievement saying that he passed through his good looks and they “knew” that he actually he was talentless.

Only Yi fan himself believed in what he can do and he believed that even if he auditioned twice with his face buried in mud, he would still pass.

That’s why he hated people judging him greatly (or lowly) because of his pretty face.  He wants to be acknowledged by his talent.

He took his hoodie and his headphones, wore it and head out to take a late night stroll. The beauty of Seoul is remarkable to his eyes. As he strolled along the park, he distracted himself by bobbing his head to BoB’s Nothing On You as he hummed and rapped the lyrics of the song.

 

“What are you listening to?” A girl crept on him from behind and causing Yi Fan to stumble.

“!!!!”  (trans: ert!)

“? 你疯了?!(trans: ert? Are you crazy?)

“Oh you’re Chinese too…wait… what the hell were you doing creeping behind someone’s back?! Are you a lost puppy?!”

 The gir pouted and tears were forming in her eyes.  

“Okay okay I’m so-“

“Fine I’ll get lost! 再见! Hmph!” and the girl stomped off. (trans: Goodbye!)

Yi fan was left at the park, mouth hanging, dumbfounded and annoyed by his random encounter.

 

 

 

 

 

Things were as per normal the following morning. As per usual, Yi fan would head out early straight into SM’s basement to practice his lacking dancing skills. As usual, he would receive multiple praises for his godly looks from his fellow female trainees and multiple scowls and degrading remarks from the other male trainees and from other instructors as well.

Wait till I debut, you little asses.

 

“I said don’t use falsetto! Younger trainees like Jong Dae can do it.You’re nothing but a pretty face! Get out!” The instructor chased Yi Fan away from the practice studio.  

Yi fan ran out of the building. He needed space away from the embarrassment and needed to cool off the boiling frustration in him. He sat down at the near café shop. He sighed heavily.

“Excuse me sir, you cant stay here without buying anything” the manager said in a semi annoyed polite manner.

This was not the first time Yi Fan retreated to the café. He was a frequent visitor of the café and he never once bought anything, causing the staff to get frustrated.

Yi fan was about to leave when a gentle hand landed on his shoulder.

“He did buy something. Look, cheesecake.” The owner of the gentle hand said as she served the plate of cheesecake on the table and sat beside Yi Fan.

Yi Fan’s eyes widened by the sight of the person. It was the girl from his strange encounter yesterday.

The girl wrapped her hand lovingly on his arm and looked straight into the manager’s eyes.

“Oh I-I see. I’m sorry for disrupting your date. Please continue. “ The manager said, almost mumbling and messing up his words in embarrassment.

The girl turned her attention towards Yi Fan and smiled. Yi Fan blushed crimson red and looked away. He found her smile pretty.

“Wae? Arent you going to thank me for the cheesecake?”

 “Cheesecake is not my style”

The girl rolled her eyes, took a slice of the cheesecake with a fork and placed the fork at the opening of Yi Fan’s mouth, pending for entrance.

”My name is Song Qian. Let’s be Chinese buddies.”

For a moment, Yi Fan didn’t accept it but who was he not to accept it? He is indeed a lonely man in Seoul with no friends to confide too. This girl, Song Qian, was the first person who willingly wanted to be his friend. Plus, she’s feeding him free cheesecake.

Yi Fan widely opened his mouth and chomped the cheesecake off the fork.

“I’m Wu Yi Fan.”

 Moments later, he found himself devouring the cheesecake. In fact, he ordered 2 more.

“I thought you didn’t like cheesecake.” Song Qian said as she raised an eyebrow and watched the man gobble down the cheesecake.

“Who said what?” Yi Fan uttered with cheesecake still inside his mouth and bits of cheesecake at the tip of his lips. Seeing his careless way of eating, Song Qian couldn’t help but chuckle. With her thumb, she leaned forward towards him and wiped his mouth catching Yi Fan by surprise and causing an awkward tension in the air.

Yi Fan coughed to break the silence in the air.

“Uhhh…what’s your favourite colour? I-I mean how old are you, kid”  He mentally slapped himself for asking stupid questions.

 Really Yi Fan? What’s her favourite colour? That’s what you asked?

The girl laughed, warming the cold atmosphere between them. Yi Fan couldn’t help but admire her dazzling smile.

“ Emerald green. Born in 1987…kid” She replied, emphasizing on the word “kid”.

“Emerald green?! ME TOO!!! Wait- you’re older than me?!” Yi Fan loudly said in shock, earning stares and looks of disapproval by other costumers and the manager in the café. Not that he cared. He received much worse treatment in the training room.

He ignored them all and enclosed himself in a world where only him and Song Qian existed.

“Yes, so you can call me Song Qian noona or Qian Jie jie~ “ She said in a humming tone.

 For hours, they talked, laughed and shared stories and discovered their similarities. Like how both of them hated brown.  How both of them dislike the smell of Kimchi yet they like how it tastes. How Song Qian lived in Changsha for a year and how Yi Fan was born there. How both of them went to Korea to follow their dreams.

 How both of them dream of being an idol.

“You want to be an idol too? Yi Fan asked.

 Song Qian looked uneasy after saying that she dreamt of being a hallyu star. She bit her lip as if she was trying to hide something.

“Actually-“ She was about to answer when her phone rang.

She turned to the side as she spoke to the person at the other line. Yi Fan tried to eavesdrop but unlike him, Song Qian was much more experienced in Korean and spoke fast and fluently. The only thing that he can come up with was “manager-nim”, “record” and “meet silly(?)” .  Though he was not sure about the last part.

After the phone call, Song Qian stood up, and explained how she urgently needs to meet her trainee friend in a studio. She left a small paper with her phone number on the table.

It says:

 “see you next time. Call me 312 543.”

For days, Yi Fan tried to contact her yet she was not picking up. The more days passed, the more hallucinations of Song Qian smiling at him appeared in his head. He became restless and worried about how he might never see her again. Something about that girl made Yi fan giddy and excited inside. It made him feel free of his worries and anger towards others. Anger towards himself.

Yi Fan skipped his vocal lessons and headed to the café where they met, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he’ll be able to see her again. This time, he ordered the same cheesecake Song Qian bought for her and sat on the same table where he met her.

He didn’t eat the cheesecake, neither did he leave the area. For some reason, there’s a voice in his heart that tells him to stay.

For hours, he waited and even skipped his favourite rapping lessons and English lessons (he liked this cause he always aced this). Costumers coming in and out admired his facial features and the café staff eyed him weirdly for sitting there like a beautiful Apollo statue.

The sky began to fade and the moon ruled the night sky. However, dark clouds were also forming, threatening to pour. He was still sitting on the same place, starring aimlessly at nothing.

He finally gave up and walked out of the café when it started to drizzle and within minutes, it rained heavily. Yi Fan didn’t care. Raindrops caressed down his flawless face as if they were his tears. Even when he's drenched in the rain, he still looked like a work of art. He continued to saunter aimlessly with his heavy pained heart. That’s when he realized that he fell for this girl.

 

At the corner of his eyes, he watched a couple kissing under a yellow umbrella. He envied them. He pictured Song Qian to be that girl, and he pictured himself as the guy. How perfect would it be.

 

Someone took Yi Fan by the hand and dragged him under a bus stop shelter then a loud sharp slap hit his face. It was Song Qian.

“Where were you?! The SM trainees said you went missing today. You weren’t picking up your phone and –“

Yi Fan pulled her in and hugged her.

“YOU went missing for days. YOU were the one who didn’t pick up your phone. “

“Idiot.” She mumbled.

Yi Fan’s strong arms continued to wrap around her, his warm drenched body against hers and his hair dripping on her shoulders. Song Qian let him hug her but she didn’t hug him back.

“Arent you curious of how I know those SM trainees?” She uttered softly, enough for him to hear.

“Does it matter?”

“Well, I won’t be seeing you anymore that’s for sure.”

Yi Fan released Song Qian from his embrace and looked at her in disbelief. They only met twice, barely knew each other and now it would be the last time he’ll see her.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m an SM trainee as well. Except that you don’t see me that much in the practice room cause I graduated from the trainee basement and train at the same practice studios as the SNSD sunbaes.”

“You mean..”

“I’m debuting soon.”

Song Qian cupped Yi Fan’s drenched face and she laughed bitterly.

“I envy you, Yi Fan. With that face, you’ll debut in no time.”

   Song Qian has been training under SM for 3 years, and she is lucky enough that one of the supposed members  had transferred to another company leaving an empty spot for her to take. The company even pressurized her to alter her looks (surgery) to make her look more Korean.

  “I’m not just a pretty face.”

“I know.”

 Song Qian placed a soft  gentle kiss on Yi Fan’s cheek.

“Goodbye for now, my Chinese friend.”

She ran off, not caring about the heavy rain. Yi Fan wanted to chase her but, his feet were somehow rooted to the ground.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You’ve improved.” The trainer said.

“Oh…”

   It has been 2 months since his last encounter with Song Qian. A month since the new SM girl group debuted.

Yi Fan does still see Song Qian. On posters, magazines and on TV. That’s it. It was if their friendship never existed.

An SM Manager gathered all the trainees into the cloudy background dancing room.

“All right listen up. We’re gonna need five backup dancers for F(X)’s performance on Music Bank”

A sea of trainee men went wild, volunteering to be a backup dancer. Including Yi Fan. To the other trainees, they saw it as an opportunity to be on stage but to Yi Fan, it was an opportunity to see her.

The manager scoffed when he saw Yi Fan eagerly raising his hand to volunteer.

“You with the pretty face. We need a backup dancer not a model on stage. Don’t even dream about it, buddy.”

“I can dance, sir.”

“Yeah right. The trainers here say that you’re nothing but a walking beautiful doll. You dance like a stick and you yelp like a dog. Now I cant have the cameras zooming at you instead of the idols themselves. Take it as a compliment. Now get lost. I’m taking Jong In, Yi Xing, Taeyong, Sehun and Mark.

There were snickers all over the room. Yi Fan wanted to punch this guy but if he did, he’ll be deported back to China and he can kiss his idol dreams oodbye. Plus, he’s not sure if Song Qian worth that much.

“I’m backing out sir. My legs hurt. Please give it to Yi Fan. He’s the next best Chinese dancer after me.” YiXing said, winking at Yi Fan.

Yi Fan looked at Yi Xing in disbelief. He didn’t know how to express his gratitude.

“Fine fine whatever. Apollo gets to dance.”

Yi Fan made a mini dance out of happiness as the manager left the vicinity.

 Finally, he’ll get to see Song Qian again.

 

 

 

 

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  HI.

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