❝You are my first and probably my last. 

Time flew so fast,

that I realized, I'll soon be just your past.

But if in the future we meet again,

I hope our kind tragedy won't happen.

Instead, our love will begin again.❞

 

I love you and I always will......

 

 

 

I closed the notebook he left inside my drawer. I let out a heavy sigh. I don't know what happened to us. You haven't even told me about what I did if ever I really did something. I just woke up the morning after our third anniversary, seeing a message from a classmate asking me why you quit school. I was surprised by it. I didn't know why you quit or even know that you quit. Stupid. You just left school, our relationship, me...and everything. 

 

Things are still not clear even if I read the notebook you left inside my drawer. What was written inside it was our story-- not our full story. I know everything written inside it because it was ours. It's just the last part that I'm not familiar with. It was the shortest but for me, it was the chapter that has the answer for a question I haven't asked yet.

 

***FLASHBACK

"Yukimura-san, do you happen to know why Morimoto-san is absent?" Our teacher, Nakamura-sensei asked.

 

I shook my head. Nakamura-sensei nodded and left the room. Hmph! That hamster! I'm going to kill him if he will not show up. He haven't greeted me yet! It's our third anniversary today.

 

Suddenly, I felt my phone vibrated inside my pocket. I secretly looked at who sent me a message. I was disappointed when I saw it was not Ryutaro. It was just a group message from my friend. I placed it back in my pocket and stood up to take my lunch.

 

I went to the canteen and sat down on one of the tables. Then, I ate my lunch ALONE. What happened to that hamster? Did someone bought him from the pet shop? Or did he forget to eat his sunflower seeds? Whatever. 

 

"Hey Yumiko-chan! Happy anniversary to you and Ryutaro!" A friend of mine from the other section greeted me.

 

"Arigatou~" I said.

 

"Speaking of Ryu-chan, where is he?" She asked. 

 

"Well, he's absent." I shrugged my shoulders.

 

"Oh. Too bad. Maybe he has a surprise!" She exclaimed. 

 

I smiled at her. "I don't know." I wish he has~

 

After I ate my lunch, I went back our room and waited for our class to start.

 

 

-~-~-~-~-

"That's all for today." 

 

We all stood up and bowed. "Arigatou sensei."

 

I fixed my things and went out of the school. I looked at my phone but there's no message from Ryutaro. Maybe he forgot that today is our anniversary? Oh well. It's just a day. It's nothing compared to our memories.

 

I walked toward our house. It's not that far. It took me 15 minutes to reach our house. I entered inside.

 

"Tadaima!" I shouted while putting off my shoes. 

 

"Okaeri!" I heard my mom shouted back.

 

I went to my room and changed my clothes. After that, I went to mom at the kitchen.

 

"What's that?" I asked.

 

"Me and your sister's dinner." She answered.

 

"Eeeeeh?! Where's mine?" I exclaimed.

 

Mom looked at me with confusion written all over her face. "Isn't that you and Ryutaro already ate?"

 

I rolled my eyes. "I think he forgot that today is our special day."

 

"Oh." She chuckled. "Don't get mad at him ne? Wait for his explanations first."

 

I nodded and went back my room. I opened my desktop and read some fanfics. I stopped reading when I heard a knock on the window. I moved the curtain and saw Ryutaro. I opened the window.

 

"HAPPY THIRD ANNIVERSARY YUMI-CHAN!" He shouted.

 

I pinched his nose. "Baka. Don't shout. I'm just in front of you."

 

He grinned. "Since it's our anniversary, I have a surprise for you."

 

"What?" I asked.

 

"Let's play hide and seek first!" He exclaimed.

 

"What? I don't--" I haven't finish my sentence yet when he ran away. "Oi! Wait!" 

 

I ran out of my room.

 

"Mom! I'll go somewhere~" 

 

I went out of our house. I looked around and saw small heart-shaped papers on the ground. Looks like it's going to lead me toward somewhere. I smiled and followed the papers.

 

After walking for some minutes, I found myself standing in front of a tree. Suddenly, a handsome guy showed himself in front of me. 

 

"Happy anniversary." He held out a piece of pink rose. 

 

He led me toward the park. I saw a table at the middle. There were foods. We sat down and started eating.

 

"You didn't go to school today because of this?" I asked while controlling myself from grinning widely.

 

He nodded and smiled. "Hai."

 

"Baka. You didn't have to." I told him.

 

"I want to make this day special." He said.

 

I felt my heart throbbed faster. He never fails to make me feel special. That's why I love this guy.

 

After eating, we talked about a lot of things until it's already dark.

 

"Thank you for today!" I exclaimed.

 

"You're always welcome." He said. "Before you go, I have something to show you."

 

He stood up so I also stood up. We walked a few meters away from the table. Then, we stopped.

 

"What are you going to show me?" I asked while looking around. 

 

He pointed the small candles in front of us. He leaned down and lighted up all of it. And then....I saw the words I never expected him to say...

 

❝Will you marry me in the future?❞

 

He kneeled down and took out a small box. He opened it and I saw a ring. It's not made up of diamonds or such. It was just a simple ring. 

 

"Will you marry me in the future? Will I be the one whom you'll marry in the future?" He asked.

 

I pushed his face lightly. "B-baka!" I exclaimed. I took the ring and placed it on my finger. "OF COURSE! I'll marry you in the future." 

 

He stood up and hugged me. I can't help but cry. Not because of sadness but because of too much happiness. I felt my shoulders getting wet. He's crying too?

 

"Arigatou. Aieru. Zutto zutto aieru." He whispered.

 

I faced him and gave a smack on his cheek. "Aieru."

 

After that, he walked me toward our house. Mom let him entered our house. We entered my room. I borrowed some movies from my sister and then we watched those. After some time, he went home.

 

 

 

-~-~-~-~-

I woke up when I heard my phone beeped. I opened the message sent to me and I was shocked by it.

 

'Why did Ryutaro quit school?'

 

 

***END OF FLASHBACK

 

It's been two weeks since you quit school. I haven't even heard any news about you. I just found out that you left something on my drawer this morning. Where are you? 

 

I went out of our house and walked around. I looked around and saw Ryutaro's brother, Shintaro, walking with a bundle of flowers.

 

"Hey!" I approached him.

 

He looked surprised but then he smiled. "Hi."

 

"Where's your brother?" I asked.

 

His smile faded. I felt something inside me hurt. Why did his smile faded? Is there something I should know?

 

Shintaro didn't answer my question. He continued walking. I just followed him.

 

"You know, he loved you so much." He said.

 

"I know." I said. Then, I realized something. "Did you say, he 'loved' me?"

 

We stopped walking. I look at where we stopped and I froze.

 

"Give this to him." He said while giving me the bundle of flowers he was holding.

 

I nodded slowly and entered. Shintaro was leading me. While walking, I felt like it's getting harder to breathe. I felt my chest tightening.

 

"We are here." He muttered.

 

I stared at the grave in front of me. The name of someone I love is written on it. I felt my knees becoming weak. I leaned down and placed the flowers down. What happened? Why did he.....die?

 

I felt my tears flowing. I want to ask his brother what happened but I can't speak. I can't even say any single word.

 

"He had a heart disease. It was diagnosed last month. Unfortunately, it was already fatal. The doctor said he might die if he wouldn't undergo a transplant. But he said, he don't want another heart. He said it's alright for him to die with his heart than live without it. He said he wanted to keep everything he had inside it. Since it was he who must decide, he decided not to undergo a transplant." Shintaro explained. 

 

I'm angry at you, Ryutaro! Why did you leave me? Why didn't you tell me that you were undergoing this? Baka! Why didn't you undergo the transplant? How am I going to marry you in the future if you're already.......gone?

 

 

-~-~-~-~-

 

 

❝You are my first and probably my last. 

Time flew so fast,

that I realized, I'll soon be just your past.

But if in the future we meet again,

I hope our kind tragedy won't happen.

Instead, our love will begin again.❞

 

I love you and I always will......

 

I stared at the notebook. Suddenly, I realized that there's a paper blocking the lower part of the message. Meaning, there are still texts written beneath. I removed the paper carefully.

 

❝If we meet again someday, will you still marry me?

I'm sorry of this tragedy happened to us.

I didn't mean to be careless.

But I'm happy that you didn't see me in pain.

I'm happy that this tragedy became kind to you....to us.

I know that if you see me in pain, you'll cry and this can cause

me more pain.

I love you, Yumiko-chan. I love you so much.❞