It is Sunday. Red birds are chirping from their nests safely hidden in the emerald trees. The sky is being painted a lighter shade of blue as the yellow sun situates between two puffy clouds. The smell of grass being cut is carried by the summer breeze. Children are playing hopscotch on the sidewalk. Kyuhyun is inside the church’s fellowship hall, away from all signs of the beautiful day. He grimaces as he straightens out the too many chairs occupying the tables. He isn’t even sure how fifteen people can comfortably sit at one table made for six, but he doesn’t have too much time to wonder. He promised Siwon that he would clean up some so the Bible study group could hold their party here. A promise is a promise, so he sighs as he finds the items needed to wash the large windows.

He is halfway through with ridding the windows of streaks and bird droppings when he hears the clock strike four. He has two more hours before the group will be filling up the space. They will probably attempt to beat the record of chairs to table ratio. Kyuhyun wonders what the point of cleaning anything at all is. 

He decides to take a small break once he wipes the last window of grime. He uses the first moments of his rest to peer out the glass. The sky has grown gloomy, and the white clouds have been filled with a heavy gray. He wishes the rain would have come earlier so he wouldn’t have had to wipe the outside of the panes. Today just isn’t his day. 

He walks to the refrigerator to pull out a small bottle of water. He twists the cap off as he hears the first sounds of the impending storm. He rolls his eyes as he lifts the bottle to his lips. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a man running towards the front door of the building. Water slips out from the corners of Kyuhyun’s mouth and lands on the tiled floor. He bites his bottom lip and walks to investigate the guy leaving smudge marks on the once-clean glass while reminding himself to wipe up the spilled water by the fridge. 

Going with his instincts, Kyuhyun opens the door for the stranger. The man stands on the mat across the frame from the outside as rain drips from his slender body. The pitter-patter of water droplets hitting the roof is the only noise to be heard. The male shivers but makes no attempt to move. Kyuhyun gestures to one of the recently-adjusted chairs at the closest table. The stranger moves slowly and rests on the cold metal. Once he feels that the guy is settled, Kyuhyun walks to the bathroom of the hall in search of a dry towel. 

Kyuhyun returns with a fluffy white towel to find the man digging through his pockets. The man pulls his empty hands out of his deep pockets and accepts the towel Kyuhyun offers to him. The silence is nice and soothing. Kyuhyun watches the taller male dry off and takes note of how handsome he is. The man coughs and Kyuhyun’s thoughts are broken. 

“So what are you doing out in the rain?” He hates starting conversations. It is always so awkward, and he is awkward enough without talking.

“I didn’t plan on the rain or being out in it,” the man says. 

Kyuhyun process the statement and realizes that it doesn’t really answer anything. It doesn’t really matter in the long run. Still, he would like to know. He thinks of the random bits of small talk he could say but most of it seems redundant. They could talk about the weather, but it’s pretty obvious of the man’s reaction to that. They could talk about the local sports team, but Kyuhyun isn’t really the sports type. The man doesn’t look like he follows athletic events, either. He settles on the age-old ice breaker of introductions.

“I’m Kyuhyun, by the way. Cho Kyuhyun.” 

The man looks up from his fixation of the white tiles and smiles. “I’m Zhou Mi.”

Kyuhyun finds the smile contagious. He imagines that the one on his face looks less excited than the one of Zhou Mi. He thinks that he probably looks like some creepy guy, the ones that are always on the news while their family members talk about how normal they once were. 

“So you never told me why you were out,” Kyuhyun says in a voice so low he wonders if Zhou Mi even hears it.

The other man sighs but his eyes still shine. “I was searching for rainbows.”

“You know, most people wait until it stops raining to find them.”

Zhou Mi chuckles softly and says, “But those people have time to wait.”

Kyuhyun notices something then, something in the tone that begs him to ask a question. He would give anything to have it answered, but Zhou Mi asks something first. 

“Do you have a car?”

“Yeah.” 

“Would you care to give me a ride home? I know you are probably busy, but I would really appreciate it.”

“Sure,” Kyuhyun pauses as he looks back at the clock, “just let me just do something first.”

Kyuhyun doesn’t look to see if Zhou Mi agrees to his terms. The man has no other options at the moment. Kyuhyun pulls out his phone and types a quick message detailing what he has done and why he won’t be attending church tonight. He rereads the sentences before sending them off to Siwon. 

Zhou Mi is pacing the floor slowly. Kyuhyun feels his lips twitch upward. 

He feels a small vibration in the palm of his right hand. He raises his phone up to read the message. It’s from Siwon. Ok. Kyuhyun rolls his eyes. No one can accuse Siwon of wasting words.

“Are you ready?” Kyuhyun asks to break the taller man of his thoughts. 

Zhou Mi nods and walks closer to the door. Kyuhyun taps his pockets to make sure he has his keys and pulls off his jacket. He throws it over the other man’s head.

“After you,” Kyuhyun says as he pushes the door open and locks it behind him.

He leads his companion to the passenger side of his car and unlocks the door for him. Zhou Mi is wearing an expression that displays everything Kyuhyun has ever wanted to see. When the man gets comfortable in the seat, Kyuhyun closes the door and makes his way around the car.

“Alright, where to?” 

Kyuhyun starts the car. He looks at Zhou Mi and takes note of the pink tint of his cheeks. The sight reminds him of a first date but without the awkward speech from a worried father. Zhou Mi gives directions in between random outbursts about things he likes. Kyuhyun watches the road carefully but doesn’t really put too much thought into where he is. He focuses on what his passenger is saying, and he probably says as much. The man giggles. Kyuhyun replays that giggle all the way to Zhou Mi’s apartment.

The car is in park, but neither man makes a move. Kyuhyun decides he may as well start.

“Would you like to go out with me sometime?”

Kyuhyun ponders the look on Zhou Mi’s face while the man tries to form an answer. 

Kyuhyun doesn’t know much about the man, ual preference included. The man may be freaked out by such a request. He may think badly of him for asking such a thing. He may be offended for being asked to settle for someone like Kyuhyun.

But somewhere inside, Kyuhyun hangs on to the chance that Zhou Mi may say yes.

“I would, but my heart is kind of broken. I don’t think I’m ready to start anything right now.”

Kyuhyun looks down for a while, hiding the fact that he is disappointed. He pulls out a pen and places the man‘s left hand over his own. He begins to scribble some numbers out that he hopes the rain won‘t smear. The lasting power of the ink is his only hope.

“That’s fine. If you change your mind, though, give me a call or something.”

Zhou Mi smiles as he folds Kyuhyun’s jacket and puts it in the space he was warming. He opens the door to leave but stops. He presses his lips to Kyuhyun’s cheek, and Kyuhyun feels nothing but sunshine. Zhou Mi whispers his thanks in the driver’s ear and steps out of the car. He walks to the entrance to the lobby, standing outside for a bit longer to wave.

Kyuhyun watches the man disappear behind the boring door. He turns the key and puts the car in drive. He still hears the man’s laughter. While he waits for the traffic light to change, he sees a rainbow. He supposes some days change for the better.





Siwon reads over the text one more time. 


To: Siwon

I won’t be at church tonight. I met someone, and I’m taking him home. His name’s Zhou Mi. Don’t tell Sungmin! 


“Kyuhyun, you know that you’re going to have to face Sungmin with this at some point,” he mutters under his breath. 

“What did our sweet Kyu do this time? And why aren’t we telling Sungmin?” 

Siwon laughs loudly. 

“Heechul, when did Kyu become ours? And why are you open so late and on a Sunday at that?”

Siwon watches the beautiful man flip the open sign to close on the café‘s front door and turn off the neon lights outside. It’s the smallest gesture he could make to appease his religious friend. Siwon can’t stop smiling. He has never met someone quite like Heechul.

“I was waiting for you, but as you can see, I’m no longer open. And Kyu…what did he do now?”

Siwon sighs. “He met someone today.”

“Well, good for him. I bet the guy’s leggy. You know how Kyu has that crazy leg ,” Heechul says as he looks off in the distance. “I’m glad that he’s getting out there.”

“Sungmin’s not going to be as happy about it. I just wish that those two would sort out whatever they need to. I’m tired of these secrets.” 

Siwon watches as Heechul jumps on the counter to sit, crossing his legs and puffing his cheeks.

“I think that Kyu is just scared. He doesn’t want to let Sungmin down. After all, they’ve been together forever. Kyuhyun has never really been one to welcome forever without hesitance. But that’s enough about Kyu, tell me all about this wild party of yours,” Heechul says with a sly smile on his face.

“I’m not going to tell you. That way you’ll enjoy it that much more when you decide to come,” Siwon states with a grin.

He wants to believe that one day Heechul will give up and join him, but he knows that is a long shot. It’s almost a game the two share. Heechul lets Siwon say whatever he needs to, mostly to make him feel better. Siwon, in turn, keeps the preaching in the church where it belongs. 

“Is there a particular reason that you are here so late tonight? Despite the lovely image I show off, I do need my beauty sleep,” Heechul says, skirting around the usual Sunday discussion they have.

Siwon can’t help but roll his eyes at the comment. “Kyu took the leggy guy home. He missed the party, so I was stuck on clean-up duty by myself.”

“So Kyu gets a man, and you get to do the dishes. That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day,” Heechul pauses as he smile fades, “I’m sure it wasn’t bad, though. Church kids probably don’t make messes.”

Siwon closes his eyes and remembers the state of the fellowship hall as his guests left.

“You would be pleasantly surprised. They have this tendency to push as many chairs into one table as they can. It’s not like we’re that spread out. We pretty much sit together anyway. I don’t understand why they feel the need to practically sit on top of each other.”

His rant is broken by the sound of Heechul’s laughter. 

“Maybe I should go to the next one if we get to sprawl all over each other.”






Sungmin finds himself at a café. He tells the waiter that he wants a table outside. He wants to watch the people walking along the busy streets. Actually, he wants to see one person. That person is half an hour late and has failed to contact him of the reason why. Sungmin decides that he will wait until he finishes eating. He thinks that will be long enough to worry about one person. He digs into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. It finds a resting place on the table close to his right hand, just in case.

His eyes follow every passing taxi, and he wonders why he doesn’t dial the number instead of waiting. He doesn’t want to seem desperate. Desperate times call for desperate measures, he guesses. He checks the time displayed on his phone. His fingers instinctively press the numbers to summon the man he has waited for. The phone rests lightly against his ear, but his hand has a firm grip around the plastic. A familiar voice fills the silence. A dial tone soon follows.

“Kyuhyun, where are you?” he asks aloud to no one in particular.

After ten minutes, Sungmin dials the number again. He leaves the same message with a bit more urgency in his voice. He knows Kyuhyun will just use that against him later, but right now, Sungmin doesn’t care. He tries a third time to reach him but fails to make contact. 

Kyuhyun is seldom late, and he always calls. Sungmin suppresses the urge to panic. 

“He probably just lost track of the time. It’s nothing to worry over, Sungmin,” he tells himself over and over. 

Even his subconscious knows better. 

Once an hour since their scheduled meeting passes, he decides to call Siwon. He pushes the buttons and waits for the man to pick up. Sungmin feels his heart beat a tiny bit faster with every ring. The phone rings five times, and he thinks he may have imagined the man on the line.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Siwon. How are you?”

“I’m doing alright. How about you?” Siwon asks in a truly inquisitive manner. Sungmin knows the amount of curiosity isn’t directed toward his health.

“I’m fine. I was just wondering if you’ve heard from Kyuhyun. We were supposed to go somewhere later, and he said he would meet me at the café. But I’ve been waiting an hour, and he hasn’t shown up or answered my calls.”

“Well, I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning. He didn’t come to the party last night. He texted me to say he had finished cleaning the fellowship hall and that he wouldn’t be coming to evening services. I haven’t talked to him since then.”

“Oh, well, I’m sure he just forgot. He’s probably still busy at school.” 

There is a long pause, so long that Sungmin thinks that the conversation is over. But Siwon asks the question that Sungmin knew he would ask. “Where were you going, Sungmin?”

“We were going to go to the movies.”

“New guy?” Siwon asks with a confidence that only he can muster. Sungmin hates that he knows him that well. 

“Yeah…but now I’m not sure if I’ll go. It was supposed to be a double date,” he says. A thought comes to his mind. “Would…?”

“No. But thanks. I’ve got to go. Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

Sungmin’s grip on the phone loosens as he brings it closer to the table. He taps his toes against the concrete while he thinks about what to do. He picks up the phone once again and pulls out a small piece of paper from his pocket. He dials the number before he has really thought about what to say.






Donghae almost drops the phone. 

“Hae, who was that on the phone?” a man asks from inside the bathroom. 

“Oh, it was just Sungmin,” he answers, cursing himself for sounding like some schoolgirl. 

The body attached to the voice opens the bathroom door. Donghae stares at him as the male puts his hands on his hips. Donghae’s eyes join those hands and rest gently on those hips. 

“What’s with the tone? I thought you liked Sungmin.”

Donghae moves his eyes up. He notices his friend’s bare chest that is still a bit wet from the shower. He closes his eyes before he gets too carried away on looking at those full lips. He wonders what they would taste like.

“Earth to Hae! What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Hyukkie. I was just thinking,” he states as truthfully as he can. Try as he might, Lee Donghae has never been able to lie well.

Hyukjae nods and presses his lips together as if he’s thinking something, too. Donghae would give anything if that something was him.

“What did Sungmin want?”

“He just called to cancel the date for tonight.”

Donghae watches as Hyukjae bends to pick a shirt off the floor and curses the soft cotton for touching the skin he wants to.

Hyukjae turns around much faster than Donghae would’ve liked, and Donghae hopes his friend didn’t catch him staring. 

“Did he say why?” Hyukjae asks. 

Donghae wishes they could stop talking about Sungmin for a while. Actually, he wishes they could stop talking altogether.

He shakes his head and tries to focus on the conversation. “He said something about the other guy bailing out.”

“Damn. I wanted you to finally meet Kyuhyun. I think you would really like him. He’s really a great guy, and he’s got an amazing voice…Hae, what are you doing?” 

Donghae pushes Hyukjae into the closest wall. The latter is surprised by this, and Donghae is a little surprised himself.

“I don’t think I’ll like him the way you want me to. I don’t think I’ll like anyone that way, except for you,” he whispers while he musters up enough courage to do the one thing he has been wanting to do for years now. 

He moves his lips slowly over Hyukjae’s. The regrets don’t set in until after he steps back. He closes his eyes, bites his lips, and turns around. He tries to pretend that the kiss didn’t happen, that he didn’t confess to his best friend. He sits on the corner of the bed and turns the television on. 

Donghae hears footsteps; he waits for the door to slam, for Hyukjae to leave. Instead he sees a body blocking his view of the horrible cooking show. 

“That explains a lot, but you could’ve just said you didn’t want me to set you up anymore,” Hyukjae says as he bends to place a kiss on Donghae’s lips. 






Hyukjae wakes up to the sound of the television playing some sort of infomercial about knives that can cut through anything. He cringes at the obnoxiousness of the host. Someone should really tell that guy that women are not going to be impressed by almost ist remarks. 

The brightly lit digits on the clock read 5:30 a.m. He supposes he should get up and begin his official first day on the paper route. He feels like a kid again, except all of the nice waving neighbors are replaced by grumpy businesspeople that demand the news on time. He decides he will never understand the appeal of newspapers. By the time someone writes it down, the events are no longer relevant. He sighs. 

Whether or not Hyukjae likes the paper is also irrelevant, but he guesses that it’s as good as any other job. It’ll help pay the bills, at least.

He rolls over trying to avoid getting up for just a few more minutes when his body comes in contact with another. Donghae is stretched out on his bed, murmuring something about how the ding will come. Hyukjae just smiles and presses his lips to the side of the sleeping man’s face. Donghae smiles.

Hyukjae makes a mental note to thank Kyuhyun later for bailing on their date. Right now, though, he has news to deliver. 

Donghae doesn’t seem to think that leaving is an option unless he smothers Hyukjae with another round of kisses. Twenty minutes after he should’ve left, Hyukjae finally leaves his apartment.






He’s missed two days already. That’s not like him, Ryeowook thinks to himself as he sits in class. He faintly hears a lecture he would usually be memorizing, but for some reason, he doesn’t deem it necessary. His thoughts keep going back to the empty seat across from him in the front row.

Ryeowook curses himself for losing focus during class. He shouldn’t be this distracted by someone missing a couple of days of school, especially not Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun is not his friend. They are just two students that strive for excellence, rivals in an academic world. Ryeowook should be pleased of his adversary’s absences. It leaves him with the upper hand. Notes can only be taken by those present. Since no one else is copying the blackboard or listening to the professor, Kyuhyun will have no way of knowing what is going to be on the upcoming test. 

Ryeowook wonders why he isn’t paying attention. He decides it must be because no one else is. Yet, he knows that it has nothing to do with grades or competition. He knows that it’s because of Kyuhyun. 

He wants to be the best, but he isn’t sure if being the best means the same as doing your best. He can’t do his best if he isn’t competing with someone. He looks around the classroom. Girls are flipping through magazines while they wait for their nails to dry. Some guys are sleeping, letting their expensive textbooks become ruined by their own drool. He doesn’t even bother turning completely around. The only students that sit in the back are the ones that make crude comments that he never quite understands.

He needs Kyuhyun back. More importantly, he needs Kyuhyun to study. There is only one way he can study the material. Ryeowook will have to swallow all of his pride and extend his hand to the enemy. In other words, he will have to take notes for Kyuhyun.

He copies down anything that he thinks Kyuhyun could use. He is in the middle of writing the quote they will have to discuss when the professor dismisses class. He quickly abbreviates and hates himself for it. He doesn’t believe in shorthand. Words are words and should remain that way, but he will clear all of the confusion when he hands the notes to Kyuhyun.

“Hey, Wookie!”

He stumbles slightly as he turns around, ready to face his tutee. “Hello, Donghae. How are you?”

“I’m okay. I was hoping I could catch you before you left for lunch.”

Ryeowook waits for the reason why. Donghae is nice enough, but he has a one-track mind. He wonders if Donghae has learned as much about literature as Ryeowook has learned about Hyukjae. 

“Why?” he finally asks.

“Oh, I wanted to tell you that I won’t need you to tutor me today. Hyukkie and I are going to the hospital to see his friend Kyuhyun.”

“Why is he in the hospital?” Ryeowook hopes he doesn’t sound as frantic as he does in his head.

Donghae looks at some colorful poster indicating a school dance. Ryeowook wants to snap his fingers in front of his face, but he doubts it will work.

“He got into an accident Sunday night. I don’t know all of the details, but he’s pretty bad. They didn’t even find him until yesterday morning. So I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you next week.”

Ryeowook processes Donghae’s statements as calmly as he can. He knows that Kyuhyun probably wouldn’t care if he came by to see him. He has friends for things like that. He takes the next best option and decides to carry on with copying notes for him. 

Halfway to the library, he realizes that maybe he spends too much time studying. He makes a decision to change. He will continue to copy notes for Kyuhyun until he recovers. He hopes that they can become friends. Sometimes he thinks they already are. 

Until then, Ryeowook will have fun. He smiles. It’s probably the best idea he has ever had.






Jungsu sorts out the piles of books left on the children’s tables. He doesn’t understand why the adults let their little munchkins make such a mess. He looks at the dog-eared corners of a Dr. Seuss classic. He guesses that those kids do worse at home. He smiles at the thought of damaged furniture and crayon-decorated walls. 

He picks up some forgotten books, alphabetizing each one in his arms. Andersen is on top, followed by Blume, Brunhoff, and Burnett. He places the Carroll masterpiece on the front desk for him to reread later. He sometimes feels like little Alice, lost and a bit confused. 

He peers through some blank spaces in the bookshelves to see a young man he has come to recognize as Ryeowook. He is always quiet and polite, but he also causes Jungsu to stay later than usual. He watches him slide his pencil quickly across paper while looking at the pages of the book. Jungsu assumes it’s just another research paper, so he leaves the male to his work.

As the hours inch closer to seven, Jungsu walks around the library to see if anyone is still here. No one is using the computers. No one is making out behind the romance novels. No one is in the teen section. He supposes everyone is gone. 

He knows that Ryeowook is probably sitting in the middle of the genealogy section studying. It’s the quietest place in the whole library since the only people who use it are the elderly and students, and both groups decide that it‘s not something they need to look into too often. He searches through the rows, but Jungsu doesn’t see him anywhere. He continues making the rounds before he determines that he is completely alone. 

When his watch reminds him that it’s closing time, Jungsu walks to his desk, grabs his book, and turns the lights out. As he walks down the street, he wonders how long it’s been since he’s been able to leave work when he is supposed to. He isn’t really sure of how to spend the next hour he usually spends behind a desk.

He walks by the cinema, deciding that he should take a cue from the kids these days and watch a film before reading the book.






“That stupid kid is late again,” Youngwoon mutters to himself. He waits for the paperboy to toss the newspaper at his door every morning. He reads over the news, the corny comics, and the horribly picky classifieds before he goes to work. It is a sort of routine that he has done for years. 

However, this new paperboy threatens him to change his morning schedule to accommodate him. His tardiness at work is also threatening him to change. He supposes he should, but he doesn’t move from his favorite chair in the living room. After all, work is only work, even if it does pay the bills. It doesn’t make him happy anymore. Reading the paper does. Despite his status as a businessman, Youngwoon always puts happiness before unhappiness.

He wonders why reading the paper is more important than going to work. He loves people, and his job lets him be around people all of the time. He isn’t tired of working; he’s far too young for that. He doesn’t hate what he does. He just doesn’t like doing it the way he has to.

He taps his fingers on the coffee table, drumming out a theme song for the very tardy courier. He imagines what it would be like to deliver papers. He guesses it would be boring. Maybe that’s why the new guy is late. He probably drags himself along, carrying heavy papers just to toss them at front doors. 

Youngwoon has a creative mind. That is probably the problem at work. As a kid, he would sit in front of the television for hours. He would think about why the characters did the things they did, said the things they said. He would oftentimes rewrite whole scripts because he considered them superior to the cop-out lines supplied to the viewers. He supposes it was around that time when he decided he would write scripts for television and movies.

He questions his desire to be the best. If he knew then what he knows now, then he wouldn’t have tried so hard. Trying leads to the climbing of the social ladder, which only means more paperwork and less human interaction. He doesn’t like overseeing the process. He wants to create, to stretch the boundaries of the what-ifs. 

Youngwoon hears a thud on his front door. It breaks him of his philosophical views of status and his current pity party. He opens his door and bends down to pick up the rolled bundle. He removes the rubber band and begins to sit down. His phone rings as if mocking his need for peace and quiet. 

He holds the phone to his ear. He listens to the rants of a frustrated man. He smiles at the funny pictures printed on the paper. The person on the other line starts yelling. Youngwoon commences to laugh at a particularly ridiculous cartoon. He only catches the last words of the conversation before the line goes dead.

He straightens out the paper and turns to the classifieds. “I suppose I should look for a new job now.”






“I just fired Youngwoon. You’re in charge, Kibum,” he hears his boss say.

Kibum stares at his keyboard in disbelief. He would question his hearing and ask his boss to repeat the phrase, but there really is no use. He knows he heard right. He just doesn’t understand.

Youngwoon and Kibum have worked together as a production team for years. Youngwoon is one of the best producers in the business. Kibum will acknowledge that his coworker has been slipping a bit, but everyone goes through a slump. 

He swirls around in his swivel chair to stare at the view from his office. It’s beautiful, as always. He loves the way the sun shines in the morning. It’s almost like it is waking up each and every spot, warming it and keeping it alive. Kibum nods to himself and decides to write that out on his scrap piece of notebook paper. 

He digs through his drawer to find the script Youngwoon had written for him. Youngwoon would always suggest Kibum for the leading role, but Kibum would turn him down. He is a producer, not an actor. He would tell Youngwoon something along those lines. 

His coworker would then say the very thing Kibum believed the man lived by. “You should do what makes you happy.”

Kibum thinks it may be time to take that advice. He looks at the clock and decides that it’s also about time for lunch. 

He walks down the flights of stairs while holding onto the script. He thinks he could pitch this to the others and gather a decent staff. He just needs to find himself a competent director. Directors can make or break a movie. He’s seen it happen many times. 

Kibum boards the bus, sweeping into the last comfy seat before another guy could take it. If he’s going to star in this movie, then there is only one person that could possibly direct it. Luckily, that person is currently unemployed.






He would love to sink into a well worn-in seat, to rest for a while. However, the bus ride is anything but relaxing and his seat is new and hard. It figures. Fate has never really been too kind to Donghee.

He looks over to his right to see a smiling couple cuddling closer than should be allowed in public. He immediately turns his attention to his window. He watches the people walking outside, the way the cars stop and go. The bus gently glides around a sharp turn. The ride is smooth, and the only jostles are from the people moving to and fro, readying themselves for their stop. It doesn’t help Donghee’s uneasiness, though.

This is the spot that changed his meaning. He closes his eyes to block out the sight of a mangled body, the sound of desperation, and the smell of blood. He supposes his tragic flaw is that he remembers too much. He can still hear the words the younger man said while they waited for the ambulance.

“Don’t leave me.” It is those three words that kept him by the side of the man throughout this.

He feels the bus ease on the breaks. He grabs his few belongings and makes his way off of the vehicle. He isn’t the biggest fan of hospitals, but he can deal with the too white, bacteria-filled building for a while. It’s just a few steps more, and he can return to the same chair he has occupied for the past few days. He sees faces he hasn’t seen before, eyes that are too new to the scene to truly understand. 

Kyuhyun is in a state of existing, of taking up space. Donghee knows this. Still, he waits for news of improvement. He wants to hear that Kyuhyun is no longer a four on the scale. He imagines the number rising to a perfect fifteen. He understands the chances are slim, but he promises himself that he will believe.

The waiting room is a dangerous place for the emotionally unstable and socially awkward. He belongs to the latter group. Donghee has never really mattered too much to anyone, so he doesn’t know what he should do or what he should say. The man’s family members don’t seem to mind. They call him a hero. They say that they will forever be indebted to him. Donghee feels a little light start to burn deep within him. 

He sees the doctor he has gotten used to seeing. He watches as he checks the charts and walks into Kyuhyun’s room. After a few more minutes, Donghee hears the sound of a door closing and footsteps growing louder. The doctor gathers Kyuhyun’s parents closer and pauses as if he’s thinking of the right words. He makes a face that mixes sympathy and regret. That is how people look before they give bad news. Donghee knows. He’s seen that look a lot in his life.

Before the doctor opens his mouth for the confirmation, Donghee already knows that he doesn’t matter to anyone anymore. He is going back to the way things were before, who he was before. Just like Kyuhyun, he feels the little light dimming out, turning his world into a state of endless night.





He watches as the doctor walks into his friend’s room to tell him that he’s fine in the most complex medical terms imaginable. Henry doesn’t want to rack his brain just to keep up, so he takes any excuse he can to escape before the words start flying. 

“Yeah, I know Mimi. You want a paper. Don’t worry, I won’t return until I have one in my hands.”

Henry listens to Zhou Mi laugh. It’s been such a long time since he has heard his friend really laugh. He likes the way it sounds. It means that everything is going to be okay. Henry likes the way that sounds, too.

The air outside is inviting, yet few people are out on the normally busy streets. Henry whistles to himself as he walks to the flower shop around the corner. He opens the green door to the building and is immediately overwhelmed with color. If rainbows could vomit, then this is where they do so at. Henry laughs at his own stupid comment. 

“What can I do for you, today?” the lady behind the counter asks sweetly. 

Henry opens his mouth to reply when a young man with a cute face says, “I came to order a casket spray.” 

The lady nods her head and asks about flowers and colors and things that Henry doesn’t really understand. He isn’t one for flowers. Hell, he wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Zhou Mi. He wanders through the store, turning every so often to look at the counter. 

Henry wonders who the flowers are for, if they’re for a boy or girl, and what the relationship between whoever it is and that guy. He shouldn’t even be thinking about that guy. It’s creepy and a little heartless to try to pick someone up after losing someone important. 

He watches the exchanges between the man and the lady. She is boisterous with more cheer than her little frame should be able to hold. She speaks with her hands. The man barely speaks at all. When he does, the words come out in soft tones.

He must be really sweet, Henry thinks to himself. 

He shakes his head and mutters, “Henry, you are an idiot. Just get some flowers for Mimi and leave before you embarrass yourself.”

“Are you talking to me?” 

Henry looks up and sees the man he’s been ogling looking at him like he’s crazy. At this point, Henry may agree. 

“No. I was just…um…I was just wondering what flowers I should get.” Henry says as calmly as he can.

The man tilts his head to the side and bites his lip. Oh, God, he’s hot. Henry hopes he didn’t say that part out loud.

“Who are the flowers for?”

Henry thinks that the guy may be flirting with him, but he may just be trying to be helpful. It’s not like he has much to lose. If he can help, then Henry is all for it.

“They’re for my best friend. He just had heart surgery, and he loves things like this.”

“I take it you don’t.” The man smiles at him.

He’s definitely flirting. Henry decides to flirt back. “No, I don’t. Do you have any suggestions?”

The guy looks around the shop. Henry just looks at him. 

“Maybe you should get him some roses. Roses are like the universal go-to flower, right? And according to that sign over there, yellow is supposed to be a cheerful color. So yellow roses should work.”

“Yellow roses. I can handle that. Thanks for your help,” Henry says. The man smiles again. 

“No problem. I’m Sungmin, by the way.”

Sungmin. Henry rolls the name around in his head for a while before he says, “I’m Henry.” 

He hopes Sungmin says his name out loud. He would love to hear Sungmin say his name just once.

“Henry, I’m glad I could help you. Maybe you should order those flowers now. I don’t think the sentiment is going to last forever.”

Henry slaps his forehead and walks over to the front desk to order. The lady still uses hand gestures and girly sounding words that Henry can’t make out, but he assumes his order made it through. He expects to hear the bell on the door to chime, for Sungmin to be gone. He is pleasantly surprised when he turns around.

“I thought you’d be gone by now.”

“You want me to leave?” Sungmin asks with a small pout.

“No, I just meant that…I didn’t expect you to stick around. Don’t you have something else to do today?”

Sungmin laughs. “I don’t know yet. Do I?”

Henry is too shocked to say anything. Luckily, he is saved from having to answer immediately. 

“Lau, your flowers are ready,” the lady says as loudly as her little body will allow.

He toddles toward the counter, grabs the flowers, and pays the lady. Sungmin is behind him when he turns around. 

“I guess I need to get these to my friend. Like you said, the sentiment won’t last forever.”

“I’m sure it will make last long enough for coffee. C’mon, I know a great place,” Sungmin says as he drags Henry out of the little shop.

After an hour and one clumsy hug, Henry walks out of the café with Zhou Mi’s paper in his hand. Henry doesn’t remember most of the things he said when he sat across from Sungmin. He doesn’t remember asking him about why Sungmin was at the flower shop, but he recalls the story. More importantly, he retains the name the flowers belong to. He keeps that name in his mind as he strolls through the hospital to Zhou Mi’s room.

“Mimi, I’ve got something to tell you,” he starts. He notices Zhou Mi is holding onto his phone like it’s a crutch. 

Henry watches as tears begin to slide down his friend’s face. “Mimi, what’s wrong?”

Zhou Mi looks up at him with unfocused eyes. He croaks out one word. “Kyuhyun.”

Henry wraps his arms around Zhou Mi. He guesses he doesn’t have to tell him, after all.






He remembers their faces well. He recalls a doctor telling them that their son’s time is up, that nothing more can be done. In his memory, the sister cries and the father gathers her in his arms. The boy’s mother screams something that sounds like a threat, but she eventually breaks down, too. The doctor tells them that their son is an organ donor. Their son can still save someone. This someone needs a heart. The family nods their tired heads. Papers are signed, tests are run, and surgeries are planned. 

Doctors are supposed to save lives. It is something that Han Geng prides himself in. He makes a difference to someone. He rarely gets a thank-you, but he doesn’t really deserve one. At the end of the day, it’s not about the rewards or the paycheck. It’s about the knowledge that he saved someone’s life. That is the thought that gets him this far. He knows that all things cannot be saved, but he tries as hard as he can. He loves his job. He loves knowing that he could be the difference in the battle of life and death. But even he will say that he would have given anything he could not to be in that doctor’s position. 

Kind and optimistic people would say that Han Geng specialized in cardiac surgery so that he could make a bigger impact. Cynical people would say that he picked that field so he could charge whatever he wanted in exchange for a chance to live for a few more years. However, Han Geng knows that neither of these are true. He, like so many doctors, dislikes the final confrontation with the family of a freshly deceased patient.

It doesn’t seem like it makes much sense, but all of his patients are under the impression that they will die. Once they open the door to his office for consultation, they know the consequences. They understand the life expectancies. They realize the circumstances. And if nothing else, he drills into him the fact that it’s not perfect or forever-lasting. 

He remembers telling this to his last patient. He is the someone the boy saved. He is one of the lucky ones. His name is Zhou Mi.

Han Geng checks the man’s chart. “How are you feeling today?”

Zhou Mi beams the smile that Han Geng has never seen his face without. “I’m feeling great. I was just wondering if I could go home soon.”

“Well, I’d like to keep you here again tonight, but I see no reason why you can’t be sleeping in your own bed tomorrow night,” Han Geng says. He sometimes hates how monotone his voice has become.

The man has a question. Han Geng has spent entirely too much time reading people for him not to be able to notice. “Is there something on your mind, Zhou Mi?”

“I was just wondering who my donor was. Am I allowed to know?”

“Yes, the family was hoping they could meet you when you recovered a bit. The young man’s name was Cho Kyuhyun.”

Han Geng watches the man’s face change and decides that he has had a long day. He checks the chart one more time before he closes the door.






Jongwoon stares at the empty stage. 

Normally, Kyuhyun would be on it. He would sing over a few lines that were particularly tricky due to high notes. He would ask for some water and laugh at something stupid Jongwoon said. Heechul would remind them that he had a business to run and to stop their mindless chatter. Jongwoon would smile as Kyuhyun would retort. Before he had to deal with the Friday rush, Jongwoon would sit in the chair closest to the stage and wonder what it would be like to be on it. Kyuhyun would sometimes dedicate him a song and ask for him to sing along. He would oblige, and Kyuhyun’s eyes would light up in delight. Normally, Jongwoon would look forward to Fridays, but this one he pretends doesn’t exist.

Fridays have always been Jongwoon’s favorite day of the week. It is the end of the weekdays and the start of the weekend. It’s also the end of his workweek. It’s the day that he gets to see people that only really come out at night. It’s the day he gets to interact with the most people. It’s the day that Kyuhyun sings at the café.

This Friday should be another one of his favorites, but he can’t find it in his heart to be happy. He ties the black apron around his waist and stuffs it with straws, a pencil, and his notepad. He turns the radio on and immediately begins to sing along. He busies himself with pushing the chairs in and rearranging the salt and pepper shakers.

"You've got a nice voice. Are you the one that's singing tonight?" a young girl asks.

Jongwoon is caught off guard at first. He shakes his head and notices how the girl’s sigh sounded of disappointment. He starts to think that maybe he should...no. Kyuhyun always sings on Fridays. Jongwoon always watches him. It's the natural order of things.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Heechul shaking his head at some usual visitors. He knows that it’s about tonight’s performance. He sees the look on their faces and wishes he could do something to change it. 

He walks around to the tables that are slowly filling up. He fills up drinks and writes down orders. He tells all of the people the same thing. Kyuhyun is coming today, won’t be coming anymore. 

Somewhere between the commercials on the radio and another horrible pop song, he walks up to Heechul. He isn’t sure what convinced him to do so, but he replays the girl’s question over and over in his mind. He might as well ask.

He taps his boss on the shoulder. He’s never seen Heechul so on edge, so distracted. He wonders if this is a bad time. Of course, this is a bad time. But it’s the perfect time for this, he thinks to himself. 

“I was wondering if I could maybe sing tonight. Just for tonight. I know that I’m not Kyu, but we sang together a lot. I could sing all of the songs he loved. It would be like a farewell performance.”

He can tell that the other male wasn’t too sure. He isn’t too sure, either.

“Look, all I want to do is sing one song. If it’s horrible, then you have my permission to drag me off the stage. I just want to…” He chokes off the rest of the words. 

He sees a change in Heechul’s face. The man turns around and says, “You’d better be damn good. Tell another waiter to cover your tables.”

Jongwoon doesn’t waste time finding a replacement. He slings off his apron and practically jumps on the stage. Kyuhyun’s stool is right where it has always been, and the microphone stand is directly in front. Jongwoon looks at the bewildered audience. He moves the stand and stool to the side of the stage and grabs the mike. He hears the radio stop playing. He sees the house band make their way over. 

“My name is Jongwoon, and I’m going to sing you a song. You may not like this, but Kyuhyun always like the way I sang it.”

He pauses then. He looks at the band, and it’s like they already know.

Hanjam tongam eun jakja ka ji ateun 
Jo euntok noho korien





“I think we might come by more often. That new singer is amazing. He may even be better than the last one.”

Heechul recalls Jongwoon’s praises only vaguely. He is still reeling from the whole ordeal. He stays in the back of the small café with his head in his hands while the customers make their way to the exit. Kyuhyun is gone, and all anyone here cares about is the new entertainment. 

If he was a man of business, then he probably wouldn’t care. He would agree that Jongwoon’s voice is better than that of his last singer. He would probably even host an after-party, complete with a wet bar and dance music.

However, Heechul is having a hard time grasping the fact that this isn’t just a one-time gig. He wonders if he made the right choice by continuing the spotlight without Kyuhyun. He should’ve changed the sign on the door so everyone thought the eatery was closed. He wouldn’t have had to say yes to a hopeful waiter. He wouldn’t have had to hear how great he is, how no one compares to him. 

Heechul knows that it’s probably not fair to turn Jongwoon away now. The man has talent, more than that of the ordinary waiter he took him for. His voice is huskier than Kyuhyun’s. It’s probably more fitting of the casual Friday party theme whereas Kyuhyun’s was a Sunday morning, clear and focused. Heechul will never say that Jongwoon’s voice is better, though. Jongwoon isn’t Kyuhyun. He isn’t better or worse; they are different and so are their voices.

“Are you going tomorrow?” A voice, masculine and strong, asks from the doorway.

Heechul doesn’t turn around. He knows who the voice belongs to. 

“I probably won’t. They usually frown on bright red pants at funerals.” 

He hears the man laugh. He wants to laugh, too. 

“Siwon, will you tell me everything will be alright?” he asks. 

He doesn’t expect him to, though. He expects a rant on how his god will make everything okay, how Kyuhyun is in a better place. He doesn’t expect the man to kneel next to him and let him cry on his shoulder. Then again, Heechul didn’t expect Kyuhyun to die, so he hugs Siwon as tightly as he can. 

Who is he to expect things anyway?






“Mimi, are you alright?” 

Zhou Mi’s thoughts are everywhere. He grabs for his cell phone to go through the sent messages one more time. He tries to reason out all that he’s been told. He feels his new heart start to break when he reads the message to himself.


To: Kyuhyun

I think my heart is getting better. I thought we could try that date now. Saturday, maybe? Text me back if you want to. ^_^ 


He looks at the date the message was sent on. It says Wednesday. It has only been three days since then, three days since his world was looking up. Now he isn’t sure what to think. At least he knows why he never got a response. The fact is bittersweet.

“Mimi? What’s wrong? Do you feel sick? Mimi!” 

Zhou Mi looks over at his worried friend. Henry is scrambling toward him with his cell phone in hand. 

“Henli, put the phone down! I’m fine. I was just thinking about going somewhere today.”

His young friend relaxes slightly, but his face scrunches up in confusion. “Where do you want to go?”

Zhou Mi glances down at the newspaper article on the coffee table. He runs his long fingers over the picture of a handsome young man as his chest tightens. He grabs the broadsheet and hands it to Henry. Henry looks puzzled. Zhou Mi would explain if he knew the answers himself.

“I want to see him. I need to say thanks. And goodbye.”

Henry doesn’t see his friend’s tears slide down his face. He doesn’t hear the older male’s sobs. Zhou Mi closes his eyes to block out the world. He doesn’t want to deal with it right now. He waits to hear Henry’s argument about all of the reasons they shouldn’t go. Instead he hears Henry jangling car keys near his face.

“You better get ready. You would hate to be late on your first date,” Henry states while searching for something suitable to wear in his closet.

Zhou Mi knows that he has the best friend in the entire world.

The church looks the same, he muses as Henry’s car nears the building. He supposes that it should. The world doesn’t change just because someone leaves it, but his world isn’t the same as it was on Sunday. He remembers the way the rain had tasted on his tongue, the way a man with sparkling brown eyes had opened the door, and the way he had wanted the storm to trap them inside the man’s car. He wonders why things never go as planned.

Henry parks the car and exhales. Zhou Mi knows that this isn’t an ideal way to spend a Saturday. No one really wants to be here; it’s something that needs to be done. He gets out of the vehicle and makes his way to the front doors of the church. His legs are shaking, but he begs them to hold out until he gets inside the white building.

He feels Henry’s hand on his back as they walk up the few steps to the door. A voice calls out to Henry, and they are both taken by surprise.

“Henry! How are you?” A guy comes into view wearing a smile and his fair share of tears.

“This is the one I was telling you about,” Henry whispers to Zhou Mi. The taller man just nods to show that he is listening.

“Oh, hello Sungmin. I’m fine. How are you?” Henry looks lost and a bit overwhelmed. Zhou Mi thinks he’s never seen his friend look cuter.

“I’m doing alright considering. You never mentioned that you knew Kyuhyun,” Sungmin says. “Who is your friend, by the way?”

“Um…this is Zhou Mi. He’s the one who knew Kyuhyun. Zhou Mi, this is Sungmin. Sungmin, Zhou Mi,” Henry says while the two men exchange glances. 

“Did you know Kyu well? I don’t remember him ever mentioning you,” Sungmin starts. He pauses for a moment then says, “I’m sorry. It’s not really any of my business. I’m glad you are here.”

Zhou Mi smiles, sort of. He nods in response to the apology, wondering if he should explain who he is and his relationship to Kyuhyun. He is freed from any social awkwardness due to another man walking towards them.

“Sungmin, are you making people uncomfortable again? Oh, Henry, I’m glad you are here. And who might this be?”

“Hello, Siwon, how are you? This is my best friend Zhou Mi,” Henry says nervously. 

Zhou Mi nods. He notices Siwon’s eyes light up with something as he smiles. 

“Zhou Mi, I’m very pleased to meet you. Kyuhyun told me a little about you. You met him Sunday, right?”

“Yes. He told you about me?” Zhou Mi straightens. He looks around the room and notices Sungmin chatting to Henry out of earshot.

“Yeah. He told me about you. He texted me before he left the church to drive you home,” Siwon explains before following Zhou Mi’s eyes to the two shorter men. “Don’t mind Sungmin. He doesn’t blame you. It’s just that Kyu was bullied when he was younger. Sungmin decided that he should always protect him. He is mad at himself for not being able to do so.” 

Zhou Mi watches as fresh tears fall from Sungmin’s face. Henry hugs the shorter male, and Zhou Mi’s heart threatens to crack. He feels Siwon patting him on the back before he walks off to visit with more friends.

The noises dull, and the faces that are attached to those sounds pass by. Zhou Mi follows Henry to a pew towards the back of the church. The silence is uncomfortable. Zhou Mi fidgets, twisting the small white paper in his hands. He doesn’t look to see the details that are typed elegantly. He knows that it will look scrawly to him anyway. The letters make out words that don’t seem to fit, and his eyes are too busy to try to read. 

The preacher begins speaking of what this day is meant for. He says it’s not to mourn but to rejoice. Zhou Mi looks around the room at the crying figures and assumes that no one agrees. 

“It’s okay,” Henry whispers. 

Zhou Mi feels the slight warmth of Henry’s hand on his knee. He wants to smile at him. He wants to be comforted by him. He wants…he isn’t really sure what he wants anymore. Instead of thinking, he stands and follows his friend to the front of the church.

He lets his eyes fall on the smooth mahogany. The casket is adorned by the simple white blooms of calla lilies, dendrobium orchids, and hydrangea. Zhou Mi finds the view fitting, a classic ending to a gentleman.

“I’m so sorry that we never got to know each other. I want you to know that you made me better. You were the best friend I ever had, Kyuhyun. I will do the best I can for you,” a voice coos from beside the body. 

Zhou Mi turns to look at the owner of that voice. He sees a man, maybe a little younger than he is, with sharp cheekbones and tear-filled eyes. The man’s mouth barely moves to say the word “goodbye”. Zhou Mi wonders if Kyuhyun could hear it.

Another male pats the smaller one and says, “It’s okay, Ryeowook. He’s okay. I bet he’s singing lead in Heaven’s chorus.” The man smiles with his jaw clenched. He places his tiny hands over Kyuhyun’s cold ones and asks, “Aren’t you, Kyuhyun? You‘ll remember me, right?” 

Zhou Mi wonders what Kyuhyun would have sounded like when he sang. He isn’t sure if it would’ve sounded as smooth as his talking voice did, but he is sure that the angels are jealous.

A third guy approaches Kyuhyun without a word. He takes one look into the coffin and closes his eyes. He is followed by another man. This man smiles and chuckles lightly while darting his eyes toward the ceiling. Zhou Mi doesn’t catch all of what this guy says, but he does hear him say, “I never got to thank you for bailing. I love you, Kyuhyun.”

Zhou Mi watches as the fourth man rubs the third’s shoulders as they walk away. He wonders what it would have been like to love Kyuhyun. He thinks that it would have been nice. They would’ve looked nice together. 

Henry walks ahead of him, pausing slightly to pay respect before moving slowly out of the church.

Zhou Mi takes the few steps toward Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun looks as handsome as ever. He is dressed in his Sunday’s best, and the sight reminds Zhou Mi of their first meeting. He is just as nervous as he was then.

He puts his hands over Kyuhyun’s, scolding his heart for skipping beats. The man looks like he is sleeping. Zhou Mi wonders what it would have felt like to lay beside him. 

“I guess this should be goodbye, but I don’t want it to be. So let’s just pretend we’ll meet again. I…um…thank you for your jacket and for the ride that night.” Zhou Mi feels the emotions threatening his speech. He closes his eyes and regains his composure. “Thank you, Kyuhyun, for your heart. For everything.” 

He presses his lips to Kyuhyun’s cold cheek before he realizes what he is doing. He doesn’t turn to see if anyone is staring. He just walks out of the church as fast as his wobbly legs can.

Henry is waiting for him when he exits the building. He grabs his friend’s hand as they wander to the cemetery. 

Zhou Mi pauses, causing Henry to stop, too. He searches the sky for any dark clouds, any sign of rain. He smiles when he sees a few fluffy clouds darkening to shadows. Henry is staring at him with a look of concern on his face. Zhou Mi smiles and starts walking again.

“Why did you stop, Mimi? Are you okay?”

Zhou Mi hugs his friend tightly. “I was just waiting for rain.”

Henry looks up. Zhou Mi knows that he’s probably confused, so he says, “I was told you have to wait for the rain to stop before you see a rainbow.”

Henry’s face displays his confusion, but Zhou Mi knows that somewhere a man with sparkling eyes is smiling. That thought alone is enough to keep Kyuhyun’s heart from breaking inside Zhou Mi’s chest.