:: what is love? ::

Luhan watches as Sehun “sleeps.”

As robots, they never truly sleep, but he and Sehun like to refer to their recharging period as “sleeping.” There is simply something human about it that intrigues them.

He brushes the taller one’s mane—oops, sorry. He means hair. Manes are for lions and horses, his microchip reprimands him. This is why your master discarded you; you’re so stupid. Luhan blinks and waits. He waits for an emotion.

He registers that he should be sad; that he should feel bad or pity—heck, even anger—but he doesn’t.

In fact, Luhan doesn’t feel anything.

Sehun stirs, chest moving in a steady rhythm, and his hand accidentally flies up and hits Luhan on the head. He grumbles and Luhan smiles a little. He thinks back to the day he found Sehun—or, rather, when Sehun stumbled upon him.

Luhan had been lost in a cornfield somewhere in the province after escaping from the dump-truck that would take him to the scary place. He heard that the scary place turns robots like Luhan into pieces of scrap, taking away different parts of him and putting them back into the junk shop.

He doesn’t want to be taken apart. Perhaps he’s scared? Luhan doesn’t know; he’s only a robot. But this weird “feeling” had propelled Luhan to run away, leading him to an unknown area with lots and lots of cornfields.

Sehun, with his perfect face and perfect everything, tripped over Luhan that day. He seemed to be in a hurry as well, but he stopped and pulled Luhan up to his feet. By that time, Luhan needed to change his oil in order to keep himself mobilized; Sehun, that smart robot, noticed as soon as he laid eyes on Luhan’s stricken face and gave him at least half of his oil supply.

Since then, Luhan followed him around. Thankfully, Sehun didn’t mind.

Luhan learned that Sehun also ran away from a similar dump-truck, and learned that he wanted to be human.

“I heard that there was something that could change robots into humans,” Sehun had told him that day. “I’m going to try to find it.”

Luhan jumps when Sehun ruffles his hair. A smirk plays on his pink lips.

“Hi,” he grumbles, pushing himself up. Luhan drops his (metallic) head on the floor with a loud thud. Sehun stretches his arms, hearing gears shift into their places. “How long have you been up?”

“Just a little while,” Luhan replies. He pushes himself up as well, eagerly following after Sehun. “Are we going to find that thing today?”

A slightly dark expression crosses his friend’s face (oh how he loves using the word “friend”!), and he nods to Luhan.

“I hope we find it today,” Luhan says with a bright grin, oblivious to the expression. He hooks his arm through Sehun’s and hurries his friend to put some oil in his system. “Are you going to tell me more stories today, too?”

At this, Sehun smiles wistfully. “Why not,” he agrees. “We can spend the whole day telling stories, if you want.”

“Luhan wants,” he sings. He looks around the little room they rented for the past two weeks and bites his lip. “We’re not coming back here, huh?”

“Nope,” Sehun replies, looking around as well. “We have to keep moving. People are going to suspect us. You know what they do to robots without homes.”

Right; when robots are found on the street, discarded and uncared for—or perhaps run-away robots—the robot-hunters take them and put them in the scary place. None of the free-robots know where the scary place is (and hopefully, never will). Luhan intertwines his fingers with Sehun’s and grips them tightly. “I’m . . . scared.”

Sehun smiles at him again. “Are you feeling that emotion or are you saying that for the heck of it?”

The shorter robot pouts in contemplation. “I don’t know . . .”

He shakes his head, smile growing smaller. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

And so they move; they exit the shabby hotel, trudging onto the shaded path that covered them from the summer heat. Too much heat can cause their systems to break down, and that is never a good sign. It can cause permanent impairment to them. As usual, Luhan initiates conversation as they hold hands and continue to walk down the nearly searing pathway of the province.

“What is love?” Luhan asks after passing a couple whom exchanged a few kisses.

Sehun glances behind them, dark eyes briefly locking onto the couple. He looks forward again. “It’s something humans feel. Another type of emotion.”

“Do you think robots can feel it too?” Luhan asks. “What do the books say? You read a lot, didn’t you?”

“They said that . . .” Sehun trails off, lips pressed together in thought, “Love is a difficult emotion. Along with love, you’re supposed to feel other emotions too—like jealousy and stuff like that.”

“Why is love like that?” Luhan asks. “And why do humans feel love?”

They reach the end of a sidewalk. Sehun leads them to the right, where the exit of the province lies. “I guess . . . love is really weird. As for humans feeling love, I read that they get emotionally attached to subjects. Er, something like that.”

“I want to know what love feels like,” Luhan sighs longingly. “I want to be human so badly,” he lowers his voice, just in case there are humans who are listening in on their conversation.

“So do I,” Sehun replies absently. “They don’t get taken apart even though they have flaws.”

Luhan nods his head, agreeing silently. It must be nice to be human. One can have as many flaws as they can, and they won’t be taken apart. One can feel emotions and not rely on a stinking microchip to process everything. One can dream; one can eat; Luhan sighs again. The possibilities seem endless!

“If . . .” Luhan trails off, ‘reluctant’ to voice his thoughts, “If we don’t find that thing that turns robots into humans,” he finally manages to voice out softly and notices how Sehun tightens his fingers around his, “do you think there’s a world just for robots?”

Sehun doesn’t say anything, and merely shrugs when Luhan prompts him again.

They continue to walk to the next village, about forty-nine kilometers south, in silence.




“Someone found out about us,” Sehun mutters to Luhan that night, who tiredly rubs at his eyes. He’s only eighty-percent charged.

“What?” Luhan’s eyes flicker, gears suddenly shifting. His body begins to involuntary shake and he suddenly spits out confusing numbers and equations, gaze darting around while Sehun calmly watches him go through one of his “episodes.” Sehun reaches out and Luhan erratically slaps his hand away. “D-d-don’t touch m-me.”

“Luhan—“

“I-it’s-s-s g-g-g-oing-g to-b to be fi-“ Luhan grits his teeth as one last gear shifts within his system. He takes a deep, deep breath and steadily looks at Sehun. “Sorry,” he apologizes, looking down.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sehun tells him. He sits down beside Luhan, dark eyes looking a little off tonight.

“Is something wrong?” Luhan asks. Curiosity is the only tone present in his voice—like always.

“A scientist found out about us,” Sehun informs him. He coaxes Luhan to lie back down on the floor, fingers instantly running through his hair in a meditative manner. Luhan slides his eyelids halfway, still looking up at Sehun. “He gave me extra oil when I was looking for some in the trash earlier. He said that he was trying to find out how he could turn robots into humans.”

“Really?” gasps Luhan, eyes widening. “Sehun, we should—“

“No way,” Sehun cuts him off immediately, looking troubled. But robots are never troubled—they can’t. “There are some scientists who would lure in robots like us to perform experiments.”

“But Sehun—“

“Don’t be stupid, Luhan,” Sehun interjects. He doesn’t notice the way Luhan’s lower lip trembled slightly, and how Luhan curls away from him rather than curling himself next to Sehun. The smaller robot stays awake for the rest of the night, keeping himself on the power-save settings, wondering why he is so affected by Sehun calling him stupid.

“I’m stupid,” he mumbles to himself, and repeats it until the sun peeks through the blinds of their rented room.

When Sehun wakes up, fully recharged, Luhan plugs himself near the outlet to gain his lost energy. He takes his time; after all, it takes a while for a big robot like Sehun to get the oils running through his system.

But then, Luhan feels his gears shifting abruptly, and he gets into another one of his “episodes” again.

“S-S-S-S-Seh-un,” Luhan calls, gaze darting everywhere, never focusing on one thing. Sehun rushes back into the room, eyes wide as he watches Luhan trying to sit still on the floor. He edges closer to Luhan and reaches out. Luhan grabs his hand, skin too warm—too hot—

“Luhan?” The tone of his voice is odd; almost as if he is concerned. Luhan smiles despite his malfunctioning gears.

“Are w-w-w-we-e-e h-human-n ye-t-tu Se-h-hehun?” he asks.

“Luhan, Luhan, Luhan,” Sehun repeats, not knowing what to do. The hotel manager would surely figure out what they are now; but he couldn’t—can’t—give a damn, because Luhan looks like he’s about to severely damage himself, and Sehun doesn’t know what to do—

Luhan collapses in his arms before Sehun gets his wits together. A few moments later, his wires and gears start turning as he picks him up, a plan being produced by his exhausted microchip.




Luhan jolts up and sees Sehun leaning on the wall with crossed arms. He doesn’t remember anything, but he doesn’t fail to notice the extra-tight hug that Sehun gives him, the weird feeling of his lips against his hair and forehead and cheeks, and then Sehun is hugging him again—and he’s so, so confused.

“What happened?” Luhan looks around, noticing that he is in a bigger room, with books and pictures and a television. There are many other things he distinguished but he can’t put his finger on their names.

“You almost went to the scary place,” Sehun tells him, finally pulling back to look him in the eyes. He pats his cheeks with his large hands and Sehun takes a deep breath. “It was really scary.”

“Where are we?” asks Luhan. “A different hotel?”

“No . . .” Sehun replies quietly. He scratches the back of his head. “The hotel manager nearly went crazy when she found out we’re robots, so I told her that we’re properties of Dr. Park.”

“Dr. Park?” parrots Luhan, tilting his head.

“The scientist who gave me the extra oil,” Sehun says. “The one who wants to turn robots into humans.”

“But I thought he’s—“

“Bad? Probably,” Sehun agrees, sliding beside Luhan. The latter jumps. Everything feels different, but the same. His senses are sharper than before, and he feels new, reborn. “But he saved you, Luhan. Replaced some of your parts with newer ones. It’s no wonder that you get your episodes. Your gears don’t fit together.”

“Did he replace parts of you too?” Luhan eagerly asks, almost bouncing on the bed as he takes Sehun’s hand in his.

“He didn’t need to,” Sehun replies with a small smile.

“But you have your episodes,” Luhan argues, scrunching his eyebrows.

“He won’t know if I don’t tell him. And as long as my episodes are kept at bay, he won’t ever know,” Sehun tells him. Luhan looks at him curiously.

“Why don’t you tell him?”

“He might experiment with me,” Sehun mutters, looking away. His gaze lands on a book on the desk beside the bed. “Here, read this. You’ll learn a lot.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a psychology book,” Sehun replies. “I have to get Dr. Park to look at you, okay? I’ll be here, and if he does anything you don’t like, we’re going to escape tonight.” He starts to slide off the bed and walk away, but Luhan grabs onto his wrist.

“How long have I been out?”

“A week,” answers Sehun, a frown on his face.

“Did he take good care of you?”

“Well, yeah . . .” Sehun shrugs, giving him another look.

Luhan smiles and drops his wrist, “Then I don’t think we should be worried.”




Three weeks, almost a month, passes in a flash. Luhan learns a lot from the scientist, who insists that they call him Park Chanyeol. He has a partner-in-crime named Byun Baekhyun, and the two scientists frequently work together to figure out how to turn robots into humans.

Sehun, on the other hand, began to take late-nightly walks around the province. Luhan notices that there is a different aura emitting from his friend, but doesn’t comment on anything. One day, Sehun invites Luhan to a walk during the late afternoon.

This confuses Luhan, however, he doesn’t express his bewilderment as Sehun leads him out near the train tracks. They hold hands, like they used to when they were homeless robots, and Luhan feels as if they are escaping again. He smiles at the “nostalgia.” He takes a good look around and is astonished to see the cornfields around them.

“It’s like that time when we first met,” smiles Luhan.

“I know,” hums Sehun thoughtfully. They stand a couple of feet before the level-crossing; Luhan wonders why. And then, Sehun says, “We’re never going to be humans.”

Luhan snaps his gaze towards Sehun. “But Chanyeol and Baekhyun—“

“We’re robots,” Sehun carries on, stepping closer and hugging Luhan tightly. “We can’t feel. Jealousy, fear, love—we can’t feel those.”

“Sehun—“

“I’m sorry, Luhan,” he whispers. Luhan hears the train from a distance; he doesn’t know why Sehun is apologizing. He doesn’t know why Sehun is stepping backwards and backwards towards the tracks, until the gates—which were once raised—separated them.

The train is too close when he realizes.

“Sehun!” yells Luhan, eyes feeling wet. He begins to run forward, towards Sehun, towards the robot that saved him again and again—

Sehun smiles. The train hits him not a second later.

“Sehun,” cries Luhan, collapsing on the ground. His eyes are wet, his throat is dry—is this normal? Sehun’s metallic hand skips towards the toe of his left shoe. He stares and wonders why his vision is so blurry. Is he crying? He doesn’t know—but this aching, hollow feeling in his system makes him want to throw up. “Sehun?” he whispers, hand automatically reaching for the hand by his foot. He wraps his fingers around his, wet things sliding down his cheeks. Sehun’s fingers are cold.

“Sehun,” whimpers Luhan, shoulders dropping as he stares at the carcass of Sehun’s robot, “I . . .”

Love you.




:: epilogue ::

His fingers begin to move; his chest rises in that familiar rhythm; his eyes slowly blink away the year-worth of dust, and then, he sits up.

Chanyeol immediately hits him on the back of the head, a long stick of cigarette trapped between his teeth. “You little idiot,” he snarls, albeit playfully. In reality, he appears like he’s about to cry.

“Why the hell did you do that, you son of a prick,” Baekhyun yells, also hitting him on the back of his head.

Sehun slowly adjusts his vision around the room. He’s back in Chanyeol’s laboratory. The only time he’s been here was when Luhan—

“Luhan,” he says, thoughts stopping when said-robot appears before him.

It’s weird to see Luhan with “tears” in his eyes; and it’s even weirder to see Luhan through blurry lenses. He feels warm and wet things leak from his eyes, and then Luhan grabs him and buries his face into his shoulder, sniffling.

“You’re stupid,” Luhan cries into his shoulder, successfully soaking his white shirt. “You’re so, so stupid.”

“Luhan?”

“You’re so stupid,” continues Luhan, eyes red as he pulls back to look at Sehun. “But I—“

“Luhan—“

“But I love you,” he finishes, hugging him tightly again. “I love you. So, so much.”

Sehun doesn’t know what to say. After all, he’s a robot—and robots don’t feel, right? But Luhan keeps repeating it, engraving the words into his microchip until Sehun finally says it back, and Luhan simply keeps on crying.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun quietly exit the scene, allowing the two robots to have a sweet reunion. Baekhyun turns to his partner and grins.

“Oh, you’re such a softie,” he teases.

“Shut up, Baekhyun. You were tearing up, too,” frowns Chanyeol, wiping at his eyes.

“Well, we got to see one happy ending with a pair of robots,” Baekhyun murmurs with a satisfied smile. “I think we should drink tonight.”

“You bet! It was so hard looking for Sehun’s parts and fix him up,” Chanyeol agrees, grinning widely as he takes a long puff of his cigarette. “And we were right all along!”

“With what?”

“Robots can feel,” Chanyeol concludes, placing the cigarette back between his pearly whites.

“Time to rub it in other scientists’ faces,” jokes Baekhyun. The two begin to walk away, murmuring amongst themselves about the two happy robots in the laboratory.