There’s frost on the window panes, the glass covered in thousands of thin fractals that span from one corner and reach effortlessly to the next until the view outside is obscured.  On the other side, snow falls to the ground, gathering in soft piles and catching on the window sill.  It’s not the little specks of snow that come with ice or rain, but the fluffy flakes that Luhan likes to catch on his tongue as they float in the breeze.

Right now, however, Luhan watches it all from the inside, cozy and warm with his arms wrapped around Minseok’s waist and his chin perched on Minseok’s shoulder.  It’s a rare moment of downtime, the two of them taking advantage of every second - the door to their room locked and a chair jammed under the door handle just in case.  Kyungsoo is known to burst in, strength ripping the lock right out of the wall on the occasion when he gets excited.

Luhan doubts Kyungsoo will be barging in this evening, though, considering the late hour and obvious show Minseok is putting on outside.  Around the rest of the base they live in is rain, pouring down in torrential sheets, but not for them.  Minseok’s never been fond of soggy weather and Luhan enjoys seeing the tight press of Minseok’s lips and blue tinge to his eyes when he uses his ability.  There isn’t much in the way of beauty in a place that’s been built to blend in with the surrounding area, all muted greens and browns that leave Luhan feeling nauseous when he looks at them too long.

With a sigh, Minseok turns in Luhan’s arms, nosing his way up Luhan’s neck to plant a kiss on the underside of his jaw.  Luhan smiles, tilting his head down to kiss Minseok properly.  “I’ve missed this,” Minseok comments, fingers splayed over Luhan’s chest, resting just over where his heart beats.

When Minseok tips back to look up at Luhan, his eyes are back to normal and the clinging chill emanating from the glass dissipates until all they can hear is the rain pelting on the rooftop.  Luhan wishes he could plug his ears, drown out the surrounding noise and pretend they’re somewhere far from this pitiful excuse of a military base, a place where they don’t have to claw for a chance to live between blaring alarms and commanded orders.

Minseok deserves more than this, more than what Luhan can throw together in half an hour because that’s all the warning he’d gotten when Minseok’s team had been teleported by a thoroughly exhausted Jongin back from the hell they were in and promptly taken down for a debriefing.

It takes fingertips pressed to the side of Luhan’s throat for him to refocus.  “Stop thinking and come back to me,” Minseok demands and Luhan gives him a soft, apologetic smile.

All further apologies are mumbled against Minseok’s lips, forgiveness coming in the way Minseok folds under Luhan’s hands, grasps him when his breath hitches as Luhan hikes him up and lays him on their bed.  It’s unmade and the sheets are scratchy no matter how much fabric softener Luhan uses and -

“Dammit, Han, I can hear you thinking about thread count,” Minseok grumbles, small hands grasping at the back of Luhan’s neck to pull him down.  “Shut. Up. And. . Me.”

Luhan groans, letting his thoughts die as Minseok walks fingers under his shirt, skittering up his ribs until he can pull the fabric off over Luhan’s head.  For a brief moment, Luhan sees himself through Minseok’s eyes and as ridiculous as it is, he blushes.  He hasn’t earned the affection that comes with Minseok’s touches, but if he has his way, he’ll spend the rest of his life trying.

Minseok has this way about him that makes Luhan’s mind go fuzzy, thoughts scattering and everything is suddenly far more unimportant than getting his hands where he wants them.  And right now, Luhan desperately needs his hands down Minseok’s pants.  Time constraints have left Luhan with an empty bed too many nights in a row and he plans on taking full advantage of the man beneath him.

Minseok, however, is never one for simply laying still and he has his hand running over the backside of Luhan’s pants, palms warm even through the material as he pulls Luhan closer.  The weight of Minseok’s legs around Luhan’s hips drag him down further, slotting their bodies together just right and Luhan moans low, chasing Minseok’s mouth with his own.  

Luhan’s missed this more than he can say, rocking together as he sheds Minseok of his shirt, the material catching on his nose before being pulled free.  Minseok is smiling bright and Luhan can’t resist kissing him again and again until he can’t feel anything other than the soft glide of Minseok’s tongue against his own and the thrill of the bare skin of their chests rubbing together with every move.

Minseok is hot everywhere save for where his fingertips trail up and down Luhan’s spine, leaving goosebumps in his wake.  He’s doing it on purpose, the low rumbling of a laugh building in his throat each time Luhan shivers and jerks forward.

It starts soft, almost negligible until it builds, a static in the back of Luhan’s mind that he can’t ignore.  He grits his teeth, burying his face in Minseok’s neck as he shakes his head.  “No,” he whines, fingers balling in the sheets, “no no no no no.”

Minseok shifts, presumably to ask Luhan what’s wrong, but that’s when the alarms go off.  “,” Minseok spits, head falling back.

The all-too-familiar sound interrupts their evening and Luhan rolls off Minseok to cover his face with his hands, trying to calm himself down before he ends up ripping the sound box from the wall like he did a few months ago.  Minseok follows, prying Luhan’s hands away with fingers around his wrists.  He looks so pretty with his pink cheeks and messy hair and Luhan aches with the need to ignore the stupid alarm and keep Minseok to himself for a while longer.

Luhan jumps when a fist hits against the outside of their door, the chair legs scraping over the floor as it’s shunted back.  “Come on,” Kyungsoo calls out.

“Later,” Minseok promises in a whisper, dropping a kiss on Luhan’s lips before rolling off the bed and searching for his shirt.  There’s no point in either of them dressing in a clean uniform at this point.

Luhan watches as Minseok suits up, plain dingy green fatigues that display no affiliation, no insignia because they can’t chance being associated with a country if caught.  It also means that if they’re downed in enemy territory, no one will be there to bring home their bodies and that’s always left a bad taste in Luhan’s mouth.

Minseok knocks his knee against Luhan’s leg.  “Come on.  Let’s get this over with.  You still owe me.”

The Control Room is full of people - most in varying stages of waking up - and Luhan graciously takes the mug of black coffee pressed into his hand by Chanyeol.  Kris and Joonmyun stand in the front, not a hair out of place on either of them and Luhan wonders if they came standard issue or just hadn’t gotten a chance to knock off for a while like the rest of them.  Judging by the bags under Kris’ eyes, it’s the latter.  Even Joonmyun’s looking older than his age tonight.

Minseok leans on Luhan, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he gulps down swallows of hot coffee.  Luhan swirls his drink, staring into the dark brown like it’s going to him in.  He’s too tired for this .  He’ll nab a few of Zitao’s caffeine pills later.

Joonmyun begins with clearing his throat, muffled conversations around the room falling silent.  “I know everyone is tired -”

“Tired doesn’t begin to cover it,” Baekhyun interrupts and a wave of agreeance follows.

Joonmyun’s lips are thin, the wrinkles around his eyes so much deeper than they used to be and Luhan sympathizes.  Before Joonmyun gets a chance to reprimand Baekhyun, Kris steps in with a hand on Joonmyun’s wrist, squeezing.  “We’re all running on fumes,” he placates.  “But that doesn’t mean we get to lay down on the job.  You all knew what you were getting into when you signed up.”

Luhan bites his tongue.  Choosing the lesser of two evils is not a true choice.  It was be used by a government for military purposes or be shipped off to a lab to be studied.  Luhan liked his chances at dodging bullets more than he did with scientists and their pressing need to dissect everything new they get their hands on.  He absently rubs over the scarred patch of skin on the inside of his forearm where they injected a tracker.

“This is a two team operation,” Joonmyun continues.  “My team - plus Zitao and Jongin - will go in for suppression and suppression only.”  Joonmyun aims a pointed look at Chanyeol who raises his hands and takes a step back.  “Kris’ team stays here for surveillance and possible extraction should things go badly.”

Luhan feels his heart sink into his stomach because Minseok is going to be out in harm’s way again.

The advantages of being able to peer into the human mind is one Luhan uses often - able to keep his attention on Minseok during the debriefing while still keeping an ear out for the details of the mission - coordinates for the drop, call signs of the official military platoon they’re meeting with, the play by play of how it’s all supposed to go down.

Minseok is tired even if he doesn’t show it.  It practically radiates off him, a bone-deep exhaustion that’s starting to take its toll.  Luhan hadn’t noticed before, but now he sees the way Minseok’s cheeks have thinned, the dark shadows under his eyes far more pronounced.  Luhan slides an arm around Minseok’s waist and settles his hand on Minseok’s hip, frowning when he feels how much weight he’s lost.

This mission after mission with no downtime in between is going to be the death of them all.  A tired soldier out in the field is one that gets himself and his team killed.  Just because they have extra abilities doesn’t mean they’re super human and one day - soon by the looks of it - they’re going to give out.  A resource as precious as they are should be better taken care of than this.

It’s too soon when Minseok and the rest of Joonmyun’s team filter out of the room.  Luhan lets his hand drop to his side when Minseok is out of his reach, the ache in his chest compounding.  He’s going to be stuck here without a way to get to Minseok if anything happens out there and it kills him.

The only people left are Luhan and Kris, standing on either side of the hologram showing the terrain and nearby buildings where the other team is going to land.  Yixing walks back in, wiping the back of his hand over his forehead.  He looks a little pale.

“They’re alright for this trip, but I can’t keep up with their fatigue.”

Yixing falls into a swivel chair and spins in a circle.  Luhan hands him his untouched cup of coffee and Yixing looks like he’s going to cry when he gulps it down without tasting it.

“Kris,” Luhan starts, but he’s cut off with a small shake of Kris’ head.

“Not now.  Let’s just get through this first.”

Soon enough, blue dots start filling in on the hologram, electric grid showing where each of the team members are being positioned.  Luhan reaches out and nudges Minseok’s mind with his own just for a moment, knowing it’s expending more energy than he can afford, but the pleased warmth he receives in return is worth it.

This is the part that’s the most nerve-wracking.  Luhan can only wait, watch as those blue dots disperse into patterns and move in.  He’s helpless, unable to protect the ones he cares about the most.  They’ve become a family - each and every one of them - and the loss of one would be devastating to all.

Is this clandestine unit really worth his life and the lives of those around him?  Too late, Luhan realizes he’s lost control of his thoughts.

“You might want to get that line of thinking under control,” Kris commands, face stern, but eyes soft because he understands.  Luhan knows he does; he’s been digging around in Kris’ head too long not to know of the doubts he harbors about all this while putting on a brave front for the rest of the team.  He’s a lot different than Joonmyun who genuinely believes this is all for the greater good, that one day this will lead to their kind being accepted without a second thought and all they need to do is bear the weight a little longer.

It’s a child’s dream and Luhan has, on more than one occasion, been tempted to plant that seed of growing up in Joonmyun’s mind just to wake him out of this sugar-coated stupor.  But altering other people’s perspective and way of thinking isn’t what Luhan is about.  What they’re trying to do is prove that they can be civil, can live just like anyone else out there - like good little peons that follow the letter of the law - and somehow they’re proving it by being used as soldiers.  The irony doesn’t go unnoticed by any of them, but few are brave enough to voice it aloud.  Luhan is one of them, although he’s become quieter of late.

The steady train of missions, one after the other, has drained him of his will to fight, of his need to do anything other than scramble at food and water and clutch his pillow when he can catch a few winks of sleep in a cold, empty bed.

Luhan peers over at Yixing who is clinging to consciousness, but only barely.  He needs to be alert and ready in case anyone comes back injured, but Luhan doesn’t see how he can take care of anyone in this state.  Healing more than a scraped knee might do irreparable damage to Yixing.  All it takes is a soft prod from Luhan’s mind and Yixing falls asleep curled in the chair.

Kris looks torn about it and Luhan just gives him a look that halts any protests.

Luhan rubs his stinging eyes with the heels of his palms, listing against one of the cabinets when he can’t watch those dots anymore.  He’s so afraid, so perpetually terrified that he’s going to lose Minseok permanently at any moment that it’s maddening.  He doesn’t know what he’d do if that ever happened.

His hand once again finds its way to the scarred reminder of the tracking device under his skin and he wonders what would happen if he scratched through the flesh and dug it out.  Is there a failsafe that would kill him before he got the chance to be free of it, or would be finally escape this prison?  Would he be willing to risk it, to test the limits just at a chance of running with Minseok at his side to start over new somewhere?

Tonight he thinks it might be worth considering even if it means abandoning the rest of them stuck in this wheel of neverending usery.

The government doesn’t see them as people - has never seen them as human.  They’re being exploited and will continue to be until they die of exhaustion or out on the field from some silly mistake that would have been avoided if only they’d been allowed to rest.  Kris knows it too and Luhan locks eyes with him from across the room.

One of the blue dots on the hologram goes fuzzy for a second and then disappears entirely.

Luhan freezes and Kris scrambles over to the coms to break radio silence, but it crackles to life before he gets a chance.  “Suho’s down,” comes Chanyeol’s breathless voice.  There’s gunfire in the background and yelling that Luhan can’t make out.  “Xiumin and Chen are on an interception course.  This is a bust - they were waiting for us.  We’re falling back to Kai.”

“Copy.”

Kris pushes away from the console and Luhan wakes up Yixing, explaining the situation as they rush down to where Jongin will be bringing everyone home.  By the time they make it, Baekhyun and a dirt-covered Kyungsoo are already there, panting and slumped against the wall.

“”Zitao is providing cover for Minseok and Jongdae,” Baekhyun begins, eyes darting to Kyungsoo who looks far paler than usual although Luhan can’t tell if it’s from exhaustion or fear.  Yixing rushes to them, hands flitting over exposed skin to make sure they’re unharmed.

“Joonmyun got hit with some sort of electrical charge.  It came out of nowhere,” Kyungsoo explains.  He swallows before looking up to meet Kris’ eyes.  “It hit him right in the chest.”

Jongin suddenly pops in, Sehun on one side of him and a pissed off Chanyeol on the other.  “I told you to leave me there until the others made it back,” Chanyeol booms, spinning on Jongin to grab him by the front of his uniform.  “Take me BACK!”

Kris drags Chanyeol off, ducking just in time to avoid the fist aimed at his face.  “Chanyeol,” Kris orders.  “You will contain yourself.  It was Jongin’s job to get you out of there.”

Jongin teleports out with a grimace and a thankful nod toward Kris.

Chanyeol’s always been an imposing figure, nearly as tall as Kris, but right now he seems to fill the small embarkation room.  “My team is still out there,” Chanyeol snarls.  “And I should be out there with them.”

“They’re all trained for this.  You’re not going to help if you’re just another target to shoot at.”

Sehun is the one who gets Chanyeol away from Kris with a gust of wind that knocks him back.  Chanyeol looks ready to burst into flames, but Kyungsoo pushes him onto his and sits on him to keep him still.  Sometimes a show of brute force is what it takes.

Everyone’s thoughts are a jumbled mess and Luhan is having trouble blocking them out, his own emotions going haywire as he waits for the one person most important to him to come back.  He’s too unfocused, too distracted by the waves of anger rolling off Chanyeol and the helplessness surrounding Kris to reach out and find Minseok, see if he’s alright.  Luhan’s never felt so out of control before.

The appearance of Jongin breaks through the tense atmosphere and Luhan nearly sobs when he sees Jongdae and Joonmyun in his hold, Joonmyun standing on his own two feet even if the front of his uniform is burnt away and his skin looks black underneath.

“What the hell happened?” Kris asks as Jongdae helps Jongin lower Joonmyun to the floor.

“An electrical burst,” Jongdae says.  “Stopped his heart.”  Then he smiles up at Kris.  “So I gave him another one and restarted it.”

“Minseok?” Luhan asks just as Jongin pops out of the room again.

“Minseok and Zitao were providing cover for the soldiers to get out of there.”

Luhan’s eyes are riveted on where Yixing is ripping away the rest of Joonmyun’s shirt to get at the burn still threatening his life.  “I don’t know if I can heal all of it,” he begins, but Joonmyun circles Yixing’s wrist with his fingers and gives him a smile.

“Don’t push yourself.  It’s nothing I can’t walk off.”

Luhan can feel the wave of pain that envelopes everyone, noting that Jongdae has to restrain free of Joonmyun’s hold to press his hands on his chest.  Joonmyun groans, wincing away, but he’s held still by Jongdae as Yixing begins healing him.

The appearance of Jongin has Luhan rushing over even as Jongin collapses, Zitao barely catching him before he hits the floor.  There’s a trail of blood running from Jongin’s nose and he looks several shades too pale, covered in sweat.  His breathing is erratic and Luhan can’t get a read on his thoughts.  His head is empty, nothing but black as he passes out.

This has to stop.

Luhan looks over at Kris even as he tugs Minseok up and into his arms, only comforted when he feels the familiar weight settling against him, the smell of Minseok in his nose.

This has to stop.

Kris nods.

They’re all home, but at what cost?  When will enough be enough?  Luhan feels Kris’ determination even after they leave the room, filtering out to go their own way.

Minseok is silent, trembling until they get back to their room and Luhan pulls him in, lets Minseok wrap around him.  A cold nose pokes Luhan’s neck and Minseok’s breath is chilling, coming out in small, measured puffs.  “That was too close,” Minseok says after a few minutes.  “Too close.”

“I know.”  Luhan runs his fingers through Minseok’s hair, tilting his head back enough to peer into pale blue eyes.  “Never again,” he promises.  “We’re going to get out of here, away from this.”

Minseok nods before standing on his toes to kiss Luhan, desperate and fearful.

All of us.  We’re going to get out of here.