“Jagiya, please don’t leave me.”

I beg him.

 

 

 

He’s leaving me again to be with her.

 

 

 

“Neyah needs me.”

 

 

 

And with that he left me without even looking back at me.

 

 

 

But I need you too.

I whisper on the air.

 

 

 

This is what happens every day.

 

 

 

If Neyah needs him, he will go. But if it’s me…..oh boy no need to say it anymore.

 

 

 

I look up at the sky to stop the tears from falling in my eyes.

 

 

 

I am the girlfriend but he doesn’t love me.

 

 

 

I know he’s just using me because until now he’s still in love with Neyah.

 

 

 

Suho, how long will it takes for you to love me?

 

 

 

Since there’s no use in staying here I decided to go home.Suppose to be this is our date but since he left me I can’t date by myself.

 

 

 

“He left you again?”

 

 

I heard someone say and I look to him.

 

 

“Tao!”

 

 

I saw him standing behind me with his hands on his pocket.

 

 

 

“So where did your great boyfriend go?”

 

 

I pout at his question and by just that he knows the answer to his question.

 

 

“Tss! Come on, let’s go on a date. It’ll be pity if you don’t enjoy your effort dressing up and putting make-up.”

 

 

He grab my hand and we start walking.

 

 

 

Tao is my best friend since….I don’t know. Maybe before the word best friend was invented. He’s always there to cheer me up. And he is the only person who never get tired of scolding be for being crazy over Suho.

 

 

 

Tao is a very nice person. A lot of girls envy me for being is best friend because aside from being nice he is very handsome and a genius.

 

 

 

Some people say that we’re perfect for each other. But we just laugh at it because we never see each other as lovers.

 

 

SUHO’S POV

 

 

I don’t really want to leave Czy because it is our date, but Neyah keep on texting and bothering me. So to make her stop, I decided to meet up with her rather than bothering and pestering me the whole time.

 

 

 

I know I hurt Czy again but I swear this is the last time. I will never going to hurt her again after this stupid talk.

 

 

 

“What do you want this time, Neyah?”

 

 

I ask her with my irritated voice.

 

 

 

“It seems that you’re not happy to see me?”

 

 

“Who would be happy to see you after you ruin my suppose-to-be date with Czy? Tell me what you want so I can go back to MY GIRLFRIEND.”

 

 

 

I emphasize the last phrase so she can get back to her senses that we’re over and so she will stop bothering me.

 

 

 

“Why do I have a feeling that you’re no longer using her?”

 

 

She’s really pissing me off.

 

 

 

“Just tell me what you want.”

 

 

“Answer me first Suho.”

 

 

“$#!T! I ask you first and now you’re asking me?”

 

 

What is this?

 

 

 

“Just one question Suho. Just one and I want you to answer me honestly.”

 

 

“Tss!”

 

 

“Are you in love with her?”

 

 

I glare at her.

 

 

“Why do you care?”

 

 

“Just answer me Suho. Do you love her?”

 

 

I took a deep breath before answering her question.

 

 

“Yes, I’m in love with her.”

 

 

I know I’m the biggest jerk because I keep on hurting her. But believe me, I do love her now.

 

 

I admit that I just use her at first but as days passed by I learn to love her. I love her and I don’t want to lose her. After this, I will go to see her and I will tell her what I really feel for her.

 

 

She stay quiet so I took it as a chance to leave.

 

 

 

“If you don’t need anything, I’m leaving. And I hope this is the last time that we’re going to talk. And don’t bother me anymore because-“

 

 

“Suho, I’m dying.”

 

 

She said in between her sob.

 

 

“W-what the hell are you talking about?”

 

 

“Do you think I’m lying? Suho, I have stage 4 cancer and I have little time to live.”

 

 

My knees suddenly trembling.

 

 

 

“I didn’t tell you about it because I was so afraid. I don’t know how to tell you about it.”

 

 

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. She has a cancer and she has a little time to live.

 

 

“Suho…”

 

 

I look at her when she touch my hand.

 

 

“I need you. Please stay with me for a while. And when I’m gone you can go back to her. Please Suho, I need you.”

 

 

What should I do?

 

 

 

Czy needs me and I need her too. But Neyah needs me more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

CZY’S POV

 

 

 

It’s been two days and I haven’t heard anything from him. He’s not even answering my calls or my text messages. I’m really worried about him. I hope nothing’s bad happen to him. Or maybe…maybe…. Ah no!!!

 

 

I close my eyes and shake those stupid thoughts out of my head.

 

 

Jagiya calling….

 

 

 

Thank goodness at last he call. I immediately pick it up.

 

 

“Yeoboseyo Jagiya!”

 

 

“Are you busy?”

 

 

“No. Why?”

 

 

“Come here at the Han River. I’ll be waiting.”

 

 

“Okay.”

 

 

I went to my cabinet and grab something nice to wear.

 

 

“Mom, I’m going to the Han River.”

 

 

“Okay. But don’t stay too long outside.”

 

 

“I will. Bye mom.”

 

 

I kiss my mom’s cheek before heading out.

 

 

 

I don’t know why he suddenly wants to meet up this late at night. And base on his tone it seems he has something important to say. I don’t know why, but I feel like this is the night that it will happen. I feel like he’s going to break up with me. I hope I’m wrong. I hope it will not happen.

 

 

 

When I arrive at the Han River, I saw him leaning on his car with his arms across his chest and he seems to be in a deep thought.

 

 

“Jagiya…”

 

 

I softly call out for him and touch his face. And he was startled a bit.

 

 

 

“How long have you been there?”

 

 

“Not too long. Are you alright? You seem to be in a real deep thought.”

 

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

 

He look away from me and look at the Han River. I stood beside him and look at the Han River too.

 

 

“Jagiya, I really miss you. What happen and why haven’t you showed up to me for two days. I was-“

 

 

“Czy…”

 

 

 

I stop talking and look at him. Our gaze meet and I can’t see any emotion in his eyes. And that makes me more nervous as I am earlier.

 

 

 

“Let’s break up.”

 

 

He directly said.

 

 

Though I’ve prepared to this, it’s different when the actual thing happen.

 

 

 

“Why?”

 

 

I said trying to hold back my tears.

 

 

“Because I still love Neyah.”

 

 

“Why do you still love her?”

 

 

“Will you stop asking questions?”

 

 

 

He shouts at me and walk away. I immediately run after him and hug him from his back.

 

 

 

“Suho, it’s okay if you still love her. It’s okay if you two will get back together but please don’t break up with me.”

 

 

I plead while my tears are overflowing.

 

 

I don’t care if I’m too desperate I don’t want him to leave me. I love him too much.

 

 

He harshly remove my arms around his waist and face me.

 

 

“ARE YOU THAT STUPID HUH CZY?! YOU RATHER BE HURT THAN TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH?!”

 

 

“That’s how much I love you, Suho.”

 

 

I said in a low voice.

 

 

“Please Czy, don’t make this situation worse than it is already. Just accept it, I still love Neyah.”

 

 

“Tell me Suho, did you love me, even a bit?”

 

 

I don’t know where I took the courage to ask him that.

 

 

A long silence invades us.

 

 

Why the hell did I ask that stupid question, when I know from the very beginning that he didn’t.

 

 

 

SUHO’S POV

 

 

 

It pains a lot seeing her tears falling from her eyes. It’s like stabbing my heart and body with gazillion knives. I wanted to hug her, ask for an apology and take back all the hurtful things that I told her, but I can’t. I have to do this for Neyah.

 

 

 

I need to be her side for a while and if all of this is done, promise I’ll come back to you and I will never leave you ever again.

 

 

 

“Tell me Suho, did you love me, even a bit?

 

 

I was caught off guard by her question.

 

 

 

No Czy, I don’t love. I don’t love you just a bit. I love you so much.

 

 

 

But I can’t say it to you right now.

 

 

 

I got another shock when I heard her soft laugh.

 

 

“I’m the biggest idiot of all.”

 

 

 

I look at her while shaking her head and smiling bitterly.

 

 

 

“I clearly know the answer to that freaking question but I still ask that. I’m just so damn fool. Of course you don’t love me. Heck! You didn’t even try.”

 

 

No Czy, you’re wrong. I love you. I really do love you.

 

 

 

I really wanted to say that to her but I just don’t have the courage to do so.

 

 

 

 

“I'